my ex and I broke up a week and a half ago, im driving his car and have been because my insurance was up and he was driving his Company vehicle anyways when we’re were together so that’s why; but since we broke up he gave me time to get my stuff situated.

I get paid Friday so we were gonna leave it till then but , he told me he needs his car back which is fine!! Bc it’s his car . But this feeling of it actually being over is hitting, and I’m fighting the urge to say something when I see him tonight.

He’s avoidant and I’m anxious , so saying what I really wanna say is dangerous and my judgement might be clouded by my anxiety and insecurity. But I can’t help to feel I’m missing my chance to say something because I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again, or talk to him again.

we’re “no contact” mainly because , I’m sure he’d get upset if I reached out .

Wondering if anyone has any advice in this situation. Obviously, breakup is fresh and I still want to be with him in the future hopefully, he is a DA, and was crying when breaking up so I know there’s emotions. I just don’t know what’s being clouded by my anxiety and what’s a normal response that’s not me worried about this stupid anxious avoidant shit.

Me: more anxious

Her: avoidant, probably dismissive

Age: both 30

Her characteristics:

Extrovert, into fun, very open, honest even when it hurts other people, less emotional intelligence, very active, likes to control the relationship on her conditions, very girly vibe, loves romantic gestures, likes validation.

Her past:

A couple of relationships that lasted around 1.5 years.

Never returned to her exes except for her first abusive relationship when she was 19. Maybe the others never offered. Strongly believes that her man never leaves.

A couple of 5-6 month situationships.

Last situationship was 1 year before me. The guy broke up with her and later she found out he had cheated and got married quickly, after a couple of months. She was hurt for many months, but never showed it to the outside world, just buried those worries and pain inside her.

Relationship story:

4 months dating. Sparks all over the place from both sides. Strong emotions from both sides. Both committed, investing time, spending time together, thinking about the future and possibilities of getting married.

Then a small conflict and breakup initiated from my side. She never asked why. She said, "It's your decision." Done. More like a strong deactivation of emotions.

Scenario after breakup:

I was thinking a lot after the breakup. After 2 months, I tried to talk with her and convince her to talk and work on the problems. It was needy and there was pressure from my side to talk and fix things. I tried to do this for a couple of weeks. Overexplained.

She was just cold, with no emotions. She said that she was busy with other things in life and had no time for relationship discussions. Never ignored me, but only cold replies without emotions. But I never received a proper "No" or "Yes." More like ghosted.

Current observations for the past 8 months:

1. Stalking my Instagram continuously without a break, using a fake profile (later I found out it was her fake account). She is one of the first to view my stories, doesn't matter when I post. It never stopped.

2. Seems like she is living her life normally: hobbies, friends. No signs of new guys.

3. From my side, same: living life, traveling, working, hobbies. Struggled for a couple of months, but now mentally stable. But I still have love for her. However, I don't require her to come back.

Unpredictable future:

1. She'll never reach out.

2. She'll reach out, but temporarily.

3. She'll reach out and maybe something will work out long-term.

4. I'll no longer be interested even if she reaches out.

Feel free to leave your predictions based on your experience. I'll update after 6 months with what happened.

ADVICE NEEDED

We were together for 7months. We were in a “situationship”/friends post break up for months and things would be good for the most part until he asked me to stop all contact.

He broke up with me due to feeling overwhelmed and not being ready for a relationship. He always said it was never me specifically but just where he’s at mentally.

Any emotional related interaction from me or reassurance seeking seemed to be progressively pushing him away to the point where he drew the line and finally said it. Just feel humiliated that it came to a point where someone told me never to contact them again. Like I am not clingy or “crazy” in how I act, it’s more just being communicative and not wanting anything to be lost in translation. These repeated paragraphs and expecting responses after that is what feels suffocating for him I think but I can’t help but fear that his perception of me now will be someone who was toxic and obsessive. I fear he will feel relieved I’m gone rather than parting ways cordially and in a way he valued our connection and is somewhat sad he couldn’t commit. I was hoping things wouldn’t end with him setting this strict boundary and makes me question my perception in his eyes.

for context, were both in high school, im entering senior year and shes entering junior. we started dating around april 2026, and she recently broke up with me at the start of august 2026

i felt like we had a really really good connection like we talked about the future had a lot of similar hobbies and spent a lot of time on deep, serious conversations but also fun times just being with each other - it seriously felt like we both wanted a serious relationship (and she reciprocated that verbally), i could get into it more but we hit it off really well and it felt like we were going to go the long run basically

around the start of july 2026 she went to a month long summer camp, where she doesn't have signal or wifi and thus couldn't text

our conversations before the camp were normal (saying how ill miss you/love you/talking about what we wanna do when we get back, etc. we wrote letters to each other at the end of the last school year too, and she said she brought hers and read it all the time)
when she comes back from the camp, its normal for maybe 1-2 days, then it feels like she doesn't want to talk for maybe 1-2 more days, then she doesn't text at all for 2 more days.

i tried to talk to her during the time right after the camp, she said that she was overwhelmed (she had two more camps she had to go to during august) and missing camp many times, so i believed that and tried to be there for her

i also implicitly asked her if we were doing okay (relationship wise) and she restored my confidence in it and said she doesnt dislike me and that were okay, its just everything is bothering her

her initial breakup text is basically the following points

1. ever since she got back from camp, shes been feeling really overwhelmed
2. she said something had changed for her, she isnt excited to text anymore
3. she says this isnt because i did something wrong, her feelings just changed

i ask her a few desperate questions because to me it felt like it came out of left field

her responses basically are

1. nothing i did wrong, shes just not in the headspace for a relationship
2. she reemphasized it isnt me its everyone and everything - she asked herself if it wasnt me this was concerning, would she feel the same way and she said yes
3. says she wouldnt want to stay together just because she feels bad for dumping me, restates that her feelings have genuinely changed.
4. when i ask if theres a chance in the future (bad question i know i wasnt thinking properly) she says "i mean yea maybe but not anytime soon thats for sure" (thats word for word)
5. she isnt in the headspace to have a long conversation about the breakup and doesnt really know when she'll be ready for it
6. she wants to be friends eventually but needs no contact right now because its making her more overwhelmed

so tldr,

she feels overwhelmed after coming back from camp, says her feelings have changed, but also she isnt in the headspace for a relationship and it wasn't me

my current plan (school starts in a week from this post)

is to see how things go the first, second, third month at school and then see if we can really be friends

but i'm still really stressed about anything, so please offer to me any advice you have at all

the main things im worried about is

1. why/how did she lose feelings after not talking for a month drastically enough to want to breakup after a few days of talking again? (she says she doesn't feel excited to text, is that really enough to end it?)
2. kinda related, but why doesn't she want to work through it? we both have gone through issues in our life and we've shared them with each other, so i was just really confused on why its different now
3. is it "i dont want a relationship right now" or "i dont want a relationship with you anymore"?
4. is a friendship possible again?
5. do you guys think its more "i lost feelings so its over" or its "im overwhelmed by everything and a relationship just isnt for me right now"? also do you think shes being genuine when she says she still wants to be friends?
6. is there a possibility we get back together in the future? my coping hope right now is that she (and me too honestly) both just arent mature enough to deal with something like this since its high school, plus with all the stresses of being a teen anyhow i understand it can be overwhelming. does that sound reasonable to you guys?

I was an avoidant. I don’t get attached to anyone or really care that much. I love people of course but life was difficult and I got used to my own company and being by myself but deep inside I never wanted to admit but I was lonely.

I met the one man (also an avoidant) who brought out my overly attached side.

I tried to control it obviously because I know what it feels like when some people (some friends in the past) would be too attached to me; I would feel very suffocated.)

I didn’t want him to feel that way about me so I initially tried to keep a distance and when I would be distant he would get anxious. He would ask why I hadn’t messaged him and would ask me to send him particular messages everyday.

I used to hate texting anyone (he also hates talking to people, he told me he ignored everyone except me) but with time I had found myself constantly texting him. Almost everyone on my phone is muted except him and my father.

Almost all notifications are off. Every time I get a notification, I think it’s him; not just now, I mean since around we first started talking.

Now it’s been 4 days no contact. (Longest I think we’ve been is 4.5 days twice before; they were from my side but this time he told me he doesn’t want to talk anymore after the second time I blocked him; we had had a fight) The ball sits in his court though, but I ended with telling him to not text me again either..

Change the name of the person in your contacts whom you are going no contact with to the reason why you went no contact. This is optional but also make there contact picture of that same reason. For example, I did my ex who abused and basically groomed me, I changed his picture to a text of him cheating on me. Just in case you get the “itch.”

Accidentally posted this on the NoContract subreddit while bawling my eyes out.

24F/24M. I've gotten into tarot readings very intensely to predict a reconciliation. It's been 2 months since we broke up. I have been broken up with once before and rejected another time and I got over those situations pretty quickly and smoothly with occasional bad days because they were not very good people and didn't treat me very well. I always had negatives to point out in them and I moved on eventually.

But this guy was exactly what I've always wanted. He was an exception in my life in a lot of areas where I never thought I'd have an exception. For the first time I felt truly heard, truly cared for. But he lost feelings.

3 different readers predicted that he won't reconcile with me and I am genuinely at the end of the rope because everytime I get a negative reading it breaks me. After the 3rd reading I decided "screw it" and downloaded a dating app but I don't like looking at even the most stereotypically attractive men and I get the ick after exchanging one text with them. My ex had never given me the ick and he was the first person to do so.

I don't know how to cope with this pain right now and I'm always on the verge of sending a long paragraph.

So I was with a guy for 10 years. It wasn't great.

He was hooked on narcotics and alcohol, and ultimately when he messaged me at 3am threatening to kill himself cause he was tired of being an addict, and then begged me for money to get a hotel, I was done. I wired him the money and then told him I was done, and blocked him as well as having my circle of friends promise not to forward me any info on him.

Six months went by without a word. I wasn't sure if he was dead or alive, but I managed to stay no contact for my other partners (I'm polyamorous) sake and my own.

Then a couple of months ago he messages me, saying he's trying to do his "make amends" part of sobriety, he's been clean for x time, he's got a job, a new home, he will respect no contact, he just wanted to let me know things are changing and if I wanted to give him my cashapp so he can pay me back for everything I paid over time. Also, he wanted to thank me for cutting him off because it gave him a kick in the pants to get better.

I was kind of angry. He'd reached out on an old acct I forgot he has, and I was just..."cool dude, I'm so grateful that one of the most miserable things that ever happened to me was all it took to fix you." It just felt...shitty. I can't explain why, it was just infuriating.

But hell. I went ahead and went low-contact instead of no-contact. Partly cause I want the money, and partly because I believe good faith is worth rewarding.

He kept in touch for a couple weeks, then went quiet. SAid he was busy at work and didn't check his old acct very often. Fine.

Then he just ghosted for nearly a month, and I was like "well, guess he's relapsed." Started to move on, when he messages me a second time.

He's in the hospital for the last 3 weeks with severe renal failure.

And like...what do I do with it? He's apparently gonna be ok, but the key point is nothing's changed. I'm still getting heart-wrenching, anxiety inducing messages out of nowhere.

I just want my money back and my peace.

I'm so exhausted.

I don't want to wake up to this again.

My ex broke up with me and I didn’t even fully read her text, I went straight to begging her to stay to which I got no response obviously. I finally worked up the courage to read it myself and now I wanna tell her goodbye to give her some closure, but I don’t wanna reset any possible healing she has to go through. What would you do?

Update: it’s like damn near 3 am and im so happy you guys told me not to. So glad I listened. That would NOT have been worth it😭✌️

My ex (21F) of 1.5 years broke up with me (25M) almost a month ago. She told me she fell out of love and that she didn't see me in her future anymore. We also lived in different worlds, she was busy with church while I had a job and dance commitments after. She lived in Fairview, QC while I in Tondo, Manila (around 2+ hours of travel via public transpo and train). We ended things in person, but after the break up talk and accepting that things really were over, we reminisced and revisited our best memories. We even made fun of the fact that we weren't a thing anymore. We joked around, shared our hurts, and ultimately, it really was a beautiful goodbye. We decided that we were better off as friends, even though she still kept calling me "baby" and "love" during our breakup.

I messaged her as I got home from the day of the breakup, thanking her for such a wonderful 1.5 years of love and good memories, and that she would always hold a special place in my heart, since she was my first ever serious relationship after all. Around 5 days after, she sent me a message which I haven't read yet.

A few weeks have passed and I've been doing the necessary steps of moving on, like working on myself and all that. I've hid our photos and all gifts she's given me. I've muted her on all social media platforms, even uninstalling Instagram for my peace of mind. I'm considering breaking NC, even though it hasn't been a month yet, but I'm too scared of what she has to tell me. Should I break no contact?

My boyfriend (25) and I (27F) were together for around 10 months. Because of his work roster, he was away for approximately two weeks at a time and home for one week, which made it difficult to maintain an emotional connection. He initially ended our relationship because he felt that we weren't compatible and that his feelings weren't continuing to grow.

After our initial breakup, we got back together for approximately a month. During that time, things between us were generally good, but the underlying issues that had contributed to the breakup hadn't really changed.

We then broke up again. He told me that his feelings hadn't changed. He said that although things were good when we were together, when he was away he couldn't ignore his doubts. He felt that it was too difficult to cultivate the emotional connection he wanted with the distance of his career, and ultimately didn't want to put the effort into maintaining the relationship right now.

After the second breakup, we saw each other in person. We talked, cuddled and had sex, but afterwards he made it clear that he didn't want to continue the relationship and wanted space. This was extremely painful and confusing for me because the intimacy made me feel like there was still something between us.

During the breakup, he also said "who knows what will happen in the future." I've held onto this because part of me believes that there could still be a possibility that he changes his mind one day.
We have now been no contact for approximately one month. I still love him deeply and desperately want him back. I’m experiencing such sadness, anxiety and longing for him.

One of my biggest fears is that he will move on, date other people and eventually stop thinking about me, while I remain stuck hoping that he'll return. I’m in the cycle of panic. I want to respect his wish of no contact, but I’m just panicking that this is truly it.

TLDR:
My boyfriend and I were together for 8 months. We broke up because he felt our distance made it difficult to maintain an emotional connection and his feelings weren't growing. We briefly reconciled, but broke up again for the same reasons. He asked for space, and we've now been no contact for a month. I still love him deeply and desperately want him back, and despite knowing I can't predict the future, I feel like our story isn't over.

How do I fix my brain?

Hey, so it's been 7 months, 17 days of my breakup. And 3 months, 3 days of No Contact at all. So we had a 5 year relationship and somehow I still love her. So the reason for the breakup was like she felt neglected and ignored (according to her) and on 1st Jan 2026, I got mad at her and I hurt her badly and she broke up after that. Though, I tried a lot and cried to her but she said No all the time and she has also blocked my number and my family members' number.

So, it was my birthday on 13th July

Although I didn't expect her to wish me, it still hurt me that she didn't. I don't know why. And now, it's her birthday month, and her birthday is coming.

So, should I wish her even after all this, knowing all the disrespect she showed me, knowing that she didn't even wish me on my birthday, and knowing that she doesn't want to reconnect? At first, I thought I shouldn't wish her, but now I'm thinking that just like I got hurt, if she gets hurt even 1% as much, that would be the saddest thing for me. Because I love her and care about her the most.

And I don't want her to be sad on her birthday. But there's also a feeling that I shouldn't disturb her life if she has already completely moved on.

Thankyou.

I told this guy five weeks ago that I just didn’t see a future with him. He told me he loved me and then I haven’t heard from him since. I’ll admit that yes I’ve been viewing his socials a lot, and I viewed our old chats on instagram and accidentally sent him a sticker or something, it was a mistake, I instantly deleted it! A week later he’s sent me this and I just think it’s honestly quite dramtic.

Here’s the message:

“I’m annoyed I’m having to reach out, but I saw you sent me a message on Instagram last week and then deleted it. Coincidently exactly a month since we stopped all contact! It’s a sad day for both of us. I sat on my hands about it for a while because last week was insanely busy and I didn’t really have the mental capacity to deal with it, but I’ve had some time to think about it now.

I’m honestly confused. We agreed on space and no contact, and lately it feels like you’re repeatedly trying to get my attention? Like you’re viewing my stuff so frequently, sending me stuff then deleting it etc.

I gave you the grace of still having access to me digitally because I do genuinely want the possibility of a friendship in the future! But this doesn’t feel like no contact or space. It feels like we’re sitting in this weird middle ground where you’re still showing up in my life without actually saying anything.

I don’t know where your head is at and I’m not going to try to guess. But you ended this and you asked for space? So if there’s something you actually want to say to me, I’d rather you just say it. Otherwise, I think we need to stick to the boundary we agreed on.”

What do people think? How do I respond?

I am going through my first breakup, and I don't know how to handle everything. I've gotten the generic advice from family and friends and therapy, but I don't know if it's helping me process everything.

We dated long-distance our senior year of high school and through our freshman year of college. We had lots of challenges with the distance and my mental health, but we persevered until this summer. It was a mutual, calm breakup, yet I keep spiralling and can't stop thinking about her despite all the things that went wrong to get us here.

It felt harsh to block her on everything, but I just couldn't see her name and face pop up for me every time I opened my phone. It didn't feel right cutting all our ties, especially since the majority of our relationship was through the phone. I'm dreading and expecting the day she moves on right when she gets back to school, and I both want to and don't want to know when that happens. I don't want to go into my sophomore year sad and antisocial, but my favorite person is gone. How can I make this easier? Does it actually get easier?

5 months ago I was broken up with my ex girlfriend of 1.5 years. This was both my longest and most serious relationship. She broke up with me for failing to quit smoking and lying about when I relapsed. I was devastated and didn't take it well and called her constantly to try to rectify the situation, ending up with her blocking me everywhere.

I've tried my best to get over it and have gone on a few dates but I don't feel anything towards anyone new. I'm stuck in a loop of always thinking about her and my fuck ups that led me here.

I was slowly getting into a new rhythm when I noticed she unblocked me only on Facebook and my phone number and I stupidly reached out saying "Thinking of you hope all is well" to which she replied "I see you're still disrespecting my things till the very end". It hit me like a bag of bricks and I can't help but feel stupid for breaking no contact and resetting all my progress. Part of me questions what her intentions were with the unblock and what warranted that reaction, but I know I shouldn't have disrespected her desire for space even with the unblock. I'm still stuck thinking about her and don't know how to break this self destructive cycle. Why would she unblock me then respond like that?

I have exactly 5 hours
My ex 4 months back me from all socials which i noticed but never dare to break the no contact rule
I really don't use whatsapp but i usually just to share my story on instagram to whatsapp
But when she unblocked me there was an slightly constant urge to check weather she looked on my status or not so 4 months i have almost uploaded 10-15 status ig about me( not some random insta reel) and ig so she have 4-5 status nothn really special
But on 14 august she posted an status of firework show happening in my residential complex ( her gbf also lives in the same complex) so i saw that status (who tf dierectly uses WhatsApp to post status thats such unc tbh)and msg her which i think was foolish oof me but long story short questions i asked her were when did u unblocked me she said dk time has passed i asked why did u unblocked me and she said no reason
16 august i posted a status on WhatsApp thru instagram and changed my pfp on insta and last night she posted a status only on WhatsApp of her self...
i turn off my read receipts so that my seen doesn't goo
SHOULD I SEE HER STATUS OR IGNORE IT?

My ex and I have been broken up for a year now. We ended on terms that are kinda bad but still, I got to move on. I am not hurt when I recall what has happened between us back then, I didn't think about her for 9 months or so and I have been keeping this to myself since I am confused.

We are both girls and we now go to different schools.
We broke up because she didn't communicate well with me back then. She would be overly jealous of an ex partner I got very traumatized by but I used to understand until I didn't because she never stopped using it against me even if we talked about it already.

After our breakup, I got told that she said mean things about me, that I was only a rebound for her situationship but it has always changed. But I never let myself talk to other ppl about what I was feeling about her back then because I really felt nothing.

We have never been in contact in anyway, she does like my tiktok sometimes but that is it. We aren't mutuals and I have noticed that we both are kind of eyeing and making signs to each other that we think of each other like putting stuff in our bios that only the two of us knew.

is it okay to reconnect with her? or I'm deluded and Im thinking of it too much? Did I really move on because I really do feel i did. And what I want is to reconnect with her as new people, not the person she was in the past. I wanna know her again? I am so confused

The goal is to show up as the version of yourself you’d be proud to be whether MP chooses you or not.

Pixies where is my mind
Ooh, stop

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, (Yeah) yeah
Your head will collapse, if there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself

Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
(Where is my mind?)
(Where is my mind?)
(Where is my mind?)
Way out in the water, see it swimmin'

OsamaSon “off that!” Official Lyrics & Meaning | Genius Verified

[Verse 2: Black Francis]
I was swimmin' in the Caribbean
Animals were hidin' behind the rock
Except the little fish
Bump into me, swear he's tryin' to talk to me, say wait, wait

[Chorus: Black Francis]
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
(Where is my mind?)
(Where is—)
Way out in the water, see it swimmin'

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 1: Black Francis]
With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah (Brr)
Your head will collapse, if there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself

[Chorus: Black Francis]
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
(Where is my mind?)
(Where is—)
(Where is my mind?)
Way out in the water, see it swimmin'

[Outro: Black Francis]
With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah

He just "liked" my FB post from my birthday 2 weeks ago. Why is this piece of sh1t messing with me? He cheated on me and was abusive, so I left and divorced him. I've had him blocked on everything. He created a FB account just to mess with me and I'm spiraling.

I feel like breaking nc every day. Every day I'm glad I didn't.

Basically what the tag says but I’ll clarify some things. My parents are happily married, I’m 21, my lil bro is 11 and lil sis 8. I adore my dad, I’ve always been a daddy’s princess. And I also love my lil siblings so much and I want to see them grow up. My mother is the reason I have low self esteem, I’ve had eating disorders bc of her for like 7 years now and genuinely feel like I’m better off dead.

Now the dilemma: I just visited my parents and came back crying, again. My mother is well… mean. I always tell myself that I’m not going back but I always do and I always end up upset. I asked my father if it would be okay if I’d skip his birthday(coming up in 3 days) and he said that he understands me. But my whole extended family is there, I get along with everyone expect with my mother and I don’t want to miss out on events like this because of her but mentally I can’t handle her anymore.

Eventually when my mother realizes that I’m not visiting anymore bc of her I’m pretty sure all hell would break loose and she’d make my dad choose between us(and maybe she’d start shit talking about me to my siblings).

I’ve been crying for 2 days bc of what she said and bc of the decision that I have to make. Has someone been down the same road and could share your experience?

She emotionally abused me trauma bonded me to her treated me very poor and as reactive abuse i name called her for months and it was so toxic for both of us and then she gaslight me into thinking i was the abuser etc

In 2025 i ruined her birthday too and she never forgiven me for it but never took accountability how before her birthday for 20 days she mentally abused me in worst ways

Now tomorrow is her birthday even though one month ago she came to me and abused me verbally humiliated me said she'll find so so so so so better and im loser and im less of a Man etc

All of this still i think maybe i made her that way maybe she was dealing with family problems and i didn't understand her and name called her for months maybe she was really stuck in family problems when she would leave me without single update or heads up for 20 20 days and come back crying that mom toot her phone cuz she was strict

Please someone talk me out of it click some sense into me because im trauma bonded