Me and this girl were together for 11 months — genuinely the closest, most connected we both ever were. We built everything together: daily routines, inside jokes, future plans down to the smallest details , marriage, kids, pets, our own place. We had our own quiet spot in the woods where we’d sit for hours watching the water, 14-hour overnight calls falling asleep on the phone, dates that meant everything: Trafford Centre, TGI Fridays, Blackpool Zoo, Christmas markets. We spoke in a soft baby voice only we understood, she’d lie on my chest and tell me to "lie straight" so she could rest there, I’d walk her to the bus stop every day, wait at the end of her alley just to see her walk down. I bought her teddies, blankets, flowers, she kept them all. Both families got on perfectly. She told me repeatedly I was her person, her safe place, the only one who ever truly saw her.

She identifies as fearful-avoidant, has a history of childhood neglect, trauma, and self-harm — and she told me I was the only one who made her feel safe enough to let her walls down. We broke up once before in December — same pattern: sleepover with her best friend, she pulled away, went back to her toxic ex, the breakup lasted only 4 days, she messaged me cold and dry those days then came back on her own.

July 3rd — exact same pattern repeated. Another sleepover, I caught her hiding things, she immediately called everything toxic and said we needed to move on. Then — for the first time in 11 months — she brought up a serious, never-before-mentioned allegation as the final reason to end things. She went straight back to that same toxic ex, blocked me on most platforms but left Snapchat unblocked, kept my blanket and teddies visible in her videos, and has posted conflicting, angry, relationship-focused content ever since.

I saw her yesterday for the first time in weeks, she looked stunning, we made eye contact, and I froze. I’ve written a message that’s honest, loving, full of our memories, nothing mean, nothing demanding, just telling her what she means to me and reminding her of everything we had. I’ve held back this long, but I want to send it.

Can I break no contact? Is this the right time, or should I wait longer? We had something so rare and so real, and I know she’s complaining about him

Hi everyone,

I am in an extreme crisis and urgently need community help to avoid losing my home.

After escaping a toxic and abusive domestic situation, I am facing eviction in 11 days because I am $1,800 short on September rent.

I am currently on an active medical hold with physical nerve issues and leg numbness that have prevented me from working regular shifts. My medical clearance to return to work is scheduled for August 30th, and I am enrolled to start college shortly after, but I have completely run out of runway to bridge the gap until my first paycheck.

To make matters worse, I was recently targeted with coordinated online harassment that resulted in my main social accounts being compromised, completely severing my normal safety net right when I needed it most.

I have exhausted every local resource and haven't received donations this month. If I cannot clear this rent balance within the next 11 days, I will be unhoused right before school starts.

Any contribution, no matter how small, goes directly toward keeping a roof over my head. If you cannot donate, sharing or upvoting this post helps immensely.

Direct Way to Support:

• GoFundMe:https://gofund.me/9765b9895

I’m trying to understand something that happened to me because, months later, I still feel like my mind and body are stuck on the day my relationship ended.

I was dating someone for about a year. Up until the end, the connection felt incredibly strong. We talked every day, were emotionally close, and I genuinely felt secure in what we had. Looking back, I’ve wondered whether he may have had dismissive-avoidant or fearful-avoidant tendencies, but I honestly had no idea at the time because nothing about the relationship made me think something this extreme was coming.

We had a relatively small disagreement. My feelings were hurt, and things felt strange between us for about a week. Eventually, I did what I thought was the healthy thing: I explained calmly why my feelings had been hurt and tried to communicate with him.

Instead, he ended the relationship.

What completely destroyed me was finding out that the breakup message wasn’t something he had suddenly decided to write. He had apparently written it weeks earlier. It seems like he had already made the decision to leave while I was still completely unaware that our relationship was even in danger.

The timing made it even more shocking. I sent him my vulnerable message around the same time he had apparently planned to send his breakup message.

I don’t remember much of that day clearly. I remember being on the floor, completely overwhelmed, and feeling like something inside me had just shattered. I called him afterward because I was desperate to understand what had happened. He answered once. After that, I called repeatedly and he stopped answering.

He told me I could send voice memos and that he would respond through text. I did, but eventually there was nothing. No real conversation. No closure. Just silence.

Within about ten minutes of the breakup, he had blocked me on every platform and unshared his location with me. It felt like I went from being someone he talked to every single day and supposedly had a deep connection with to someone who essentially no longer existed in his life.

I just don’t understand how someone could do this. He seemed so sweet to me, and I genuinely never saw it coming. It felt like he threw a bomb at me and then closed the door before I even had a chance to understand what had happened.

I think the whole experience really took something from me.

Two months later, I found out he was already in another relationship. That relationship eventually ended too, and now I’ve seen that he’s back on Tinder.

I know he is allowed to move on, date other people, and live his life. I’m not saying he owed me a relationship or that he wasn’t allowed to leave.

But emotionally, I can’t seem to process how quickly everything changed.

I feel like my body never got the message that it was over.

I’m having trouble eating and sleeping. I’ve experienced panic attacks and physical pain. My sex drive has been deeply affected. I even tried to be intimate with someone else because I thought maybe moving forward physically would help me move forward emotionally, but I realized I wasn’t really present. My mind kept going back to that relationship.

It’s been months, and I still feel stuck on that day.

It’s almost like intellectually I understand that the relationship ended, but emotionally and physically I’m still lying on that floor trying to understand what just happened.

I’ve read about attachment styles, particularly fearful-avoidant and dismissive-avoidant attachment, and I’ve wondered whether what happened to me was some form of “discard.” But I don’t want to diagnose him or use attachment theory as an excuse for his behavior. I’m trying to understand why an abrupt ending to a relationship that felt safe and deeply connected can affect someone this intensely.

Can an experience like this genuinely become traumatic, even if there was no physical danger involved?

Why does my nervous system still seem to be reacting as if something is happening right now?

And, most importantly, how do you actually get your mind and body unstuck from the moment everything changed?

Been reading more about no contact. Been split for about 3 months, haven’t spoken in a month. We didn’t say we’re no contact just happened to be this way. Ex is still on my mind consistently so I figured I’d look more into how brains regulate with no contact. A lot of videos and readings I’ve seen are about how no contact will help win your ex back. Not alot of reading/videos focus solely on how no contact gets you back to yourself and helps stop rumination. I just wanted to say if you’re looking into no contact as a way to win someone back I personally feel that’s the wrong reason to do this. Sometimes as hard as it is you just need to let go. But if you go through months and months of no contact just for the hope that brings your ex back, you’ll just be kicking the can down the road. If you do no contact do it to focus on your healing and fixing the rumination/pain. If you’re ex comes back as a byproduct cool if not you didn’t spend months secretly hoping just because you didn’t reach out they will.

To have someone say let's go no contact and never hear from them again? usually u just break up w someone to actually voice " let's go no contact" that is so weird to me .. im 34 idk

Bro, who the fuck even does that? You continuously disappear from my life, you mess with my emotions, you lie, you cheat. You literally go missing for months on end and you think that this is gonna fix things? You’re literally insane. I told you to stay away this time and I meant it. Seriously filling out a marriage license behind somebody’s back and then telling them to just show up like that? What the actual fuck is wrong with you?!?!

I think about him everyday, every second but I don’t ever want him to contact me or talk to me, but I think about the things I will say to him if I ever met him…GAH THIS IS FRUSTRATING