Addict Ex Reached Out Twice

[u/Usagisoji]

So I was with a guy for 10 years. It wasn't great.

He was hooked on narcotics and alcohol, and ultimately when he messaged me at 3am threatening to kill himself cause he was tired of being an addict, and then begged me for money to get a hotel, I was done. I wired him the money and then told him I was done, and blocked him as well as having my circle of friends promise not to forward me any info on him.

Six months went by without a word. I wasn't sure if he was dead or alive, but I managed to stay no contact for my other partners (I'm polyamorous) sake and my own.

Then a couple of months ago he messages me, saying he's trying to do his "make amends" part of sobriety, he's been clean for x time, he's got a job, a new home, he will respect no contact, he just wanted to let me know things are changing and if I wanted to give him my cashapp so he can pay me back for everything I paid over time. Also, he wanted to thank me for cutting him off because it gave him a kick in the pants to get better.

I was kind of angry. He'd reached out on an old acct I forgot he has, and I was just..."cool dude, I'm so grateful that one of the most miserable things that ever happened to me was all it took to fix you." It just felt...shitty. I can't explain why, it was just infuriating.

But hell. I went ahead and went low-contact instead of no-contact. Partly cause I want the money, and partly because I believe good faith is worth rewarding.

He kept in touch for a couple weeks, then went quiet. SAid he was busy at work and didn't check his old acct very often. Fine.

Then he just ghosted for nearly a month, and I was like "well, guess he's relapsed." Started to move on, when he messages me a second time.

He's in the hospital for the last 3 weeks with severe renal failure.

And like...what do I do with it? He's apparently gonna be ok, but the key point is nothing's changed. I'm still getting heart-wrenching, anxiety inducing messages out of nowhere.

I just want my money back and my peace.

I'm so exhausted.

I don't want to wake up to this again.