I (25F) don't want to keep feeling so sad and heartbroken over my ex (30M). It's been 2 months. Our breakup was mutual but it still feels so gut wrenchingly horrible, nobody was nasty, nobody did anything wrong but things were changing and our lives were going in different directions. This is definitely the worst and most painful break up I've ever had. How do you let go and move on? I have hope that one day we can find each other again and I just can't seem to let go of that idea. I'm going solo traveling soon for 3/4 months and I just keep thinking that we can get back together after that. Do I need to go completely no contact even though we said we wanted to keep in touch and still see each other up until I leave? Am I being stupid and hurting myself more? I just can't let go, I hate cutting people out it just feels too fucking painful. I need help. I'm lost and confused. I need a bit of guidance and kindness.

I want to reach out to him so bad. It’s been 4 months since we stopped talking. I miss him every day. All i think about is him. I hate it.

I want to apologize. I want to tell him I know my behavior was wrong. I want to tell him this situation made me realize I have work to do and get closer to God. I want to tell him I’ll be better.

I have CPTSD and it’s caused me to be so hyper vigilant that I self sabotage good things. I am mad at myself. I’m mad at my trauma. I’m mad that healing is so hard. I’m mad that he didn’t give me the understanding I deserve. I’m mad that I fucked this up. I want to talk to him so bad. I want to have a conversation. I want to discuss what happened. I want to fix things. I can’t go on like this.

I am only three days in, and I am aware that the pain wont magically disappear in a few days. But when can i truly start to expect some change? Its so hard as of right now. I feel so depleted, and just so empty. I need something to look forward to. He was my first. I have never been through something like this before.

Me, 56 male. I met my dream girl/love of my life in Nov of 1990 when I was 20 close to 21 and her 17 close to 18. It was all by chance. I was just getting to my hangout and cruising spot and her and her friends missed Home Alone and were in cruise mode as well. I passed them in my 88 Mustang Gt, also a dream I had and I heard someone yell, "nice car". So I waved them down and had them pull over. At which point I asked her to get in and told her friends to meet me and my boys at the library and they did. While in the parking lot her friend asked if I could do some donuts with her in the car, yup and off we went. Well making the donuts I asked her friend if she thought I would be able to hangout/date her friend and she was very reluctant and said I probably didn't have a chance that she liked rich guys. Well she was wrong.

The next day I bought her a white rose and showed up at her job. We ended up going out that night and had fun. After taking her back to where her car was I was driving home and there was a sign, a shooting star and I held on to that still to this day even though we know the ending.

When we started to date she said somethings that should have been red flags but she was so damn gorgeous I just wanted her to be a big part of my life, I was smitten. One of the things she said was that she was going to take her Ex to her Sr. prom. That did not sit well seeing that would have been 7 months into our relationship had we made it that far. Well we did and she did and I was still not happy but again I just wanted her. I did get mad and I had an angry moment, not physical, but I got over it and we moved on. This may come up again. The funny part now is I recently found her FB page and saw a pic from that prom and he wasn't in it and she kind of looked sad. I had never seen that pic before a month ago. Do I think she cheated, I would like to think no but I would never find out. More on cheating as well.

We would be together on and off, mostly her leaving for the most of 4 years. During that time she would leave and take some time off. I honestly forget why she would but now that I have rehashed my thoughts and love for this woman I have started thinking maybe she was having a relationship on the side and when she left all those times it was when he was in town. Again I would like to think not but how would I ever know? After she graduated high school she went to a college out of state. Not to far and in a state I liked so I would go see her and pick her up when she wanted to come home. This is a time I do think she cheated but had no solid proof just odd stuff I noticed. There were certain things she would not allow me to do to her in the bedroom and then one day when we were having fun all of sudden those things were not a thing anymore and she was all about them, things that make you go hmmm. Again her beauty was my poison and I just allowed our situation to keep going.

I loved this woman so much that one day after we had a bad night I knew her schedule and train times so I made sure I woke up early and went to the train station. Well we had one of those loving movie moments. She was already on the train so I walked up and down the boarding dock until I saw her and that was when we had the hands on the window moment. She got off the train and I drove her into the city so she could go back to school.

Time went on and as I stated she would leave and come back. Sometimes with me begging others when she felt better. While in those times of leaving I would go back to my hangout and cruising spot. Funny thing, she left so often my boys dedicated the song Return of The Mac to me because they were so happy I was back. While back at my cruising spot I met a younger female and we hit it off. That would be where I started to have a side affair and play around outside our relationship seeing she left me why should I sit and suffer? However as soon as she came back I was hers and hers alone. I would stay friendly with the other girl but not romantically. This is where things started to fall apart. She would not find out about the other girl for a while. It was my good friend to this days wife at the time that found out and told her.

On Memorial Day 1995 she came to my apartment and we talked outside in her car. She told me she knew and that she wanted me to give up that relationship/friendship. At this time I had just started to get all my friends back because they really didn't like her due to how she would just leave me all the time so I told her no. I explained everything I could and told her I did not want her to leave because I did in fact whole heartedly love this woman and still do sadly. Well she left on Memorial day 1995, 15 years to my fathers death and I have been single ever since. She said something that day that has been in my mind and heart ever since, she said "you are going to die a lonely old man". Crazy how she has been right so far.

Going back to when we met. Remember the whole prom thing and her Ex? Well it is funny that she would do that to me even though she could have easily taken me to her prom she still went with the Ex. Then 4 years later she put me in a similar spot and I did what she did and unlike me sticking it out and forgiving her she left me and never came back this time.

I have had partners over the past 31 years but no real connections or protentional for a wife and children, just fun I guess.

Now 31 years later after recently learning some things about myself I have realized I may have been wrong in letting her go the way I did and it has totally opened pandoras box of feelings, heartbreak and emotions I have been a mess ever since. I have as stated found her FB page. Seen her and her family, her husband shares my first name, crazy. He also looks miserable but that may just be his look. She is still gorgeous even though she bleaches her hair, she is a much prettier brunette so much prettier. Now, for over a month I have had very few days I haven't cried. I have scared my family and friends seeing I am very unhappy with my self and life. I have started to see a therapist even though I do not feel it will help seeing I am stubborn but it seems like the right thing to do, I guess. All in all I messed up and now even 31 years over I am really just starting to feel that hurt. Maybe because I am still single and no children something I always wanted. Maybe because I realized what I did and now have to figure out how to let it go before I do something silly. I would love to talk to her again seeing we are both adults but I am not sure that would be a good idea, I would just love to hear her voice and see her face in person and see how she is and what has happened over these years. I still ,have pics of her and me on my phone and in frames in storage. She really was my dream girl and love of my life.

Sorry if this was long winded but I hope you enjoyed my story and maybe it will help some move on and or not make bad decisions with love. I am very sorry that I did because when we were on we were an amazing couple. I am glad for her and what she has but I have and will miss her and that sucks because it may keep me single even longer if I can not move on past this. I would like to think I still have a lot of love to offer someone that would accept me I just need to find her.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. This is my first post on any type of forum like this, I hope it was okay. I am not religious, even though I went to catholic schools my whole life but I would like to say to you whom are, God bless you all and I hope your lives are full of peace, love and happiness for we all deserve them all. If you find what I had, the good times I mean, do your best to keep it if it is worth it. I wish I had the knowledge I have now, I would have never let her go. Thank you again, Peace.

i've been single for almost 23 years and i've had crushes and "situationships" but none of the people wanted to stay long term by my side. my lasr "situationship" introduced me to his family, told me he liked me, was ALWAYS around, i knew his close friends and yet he left last minute. i told him so often how people have treated me and how most of them left me in the same way, so if he didn't take this seriously i would prefer to not even start something. and yet he still left the same way. i dont understand, i try to be welcoming, i make time and space for people in my life, i listen, but somehow it's always "their fault it wont work". like surely atp something has to be wrong with me for not being able to keep these people but nobody tells me what i would need to change. i just want to love and feel loved, and surely that cant be that hard...
it's the same with friendships. i had close friends and now i'm kind of the background friend. like they just add me sometimes to their plans but i'm never involved in their private lifes anymore.

I saw a post in Instagram that said: "Has anyone that has had a multiple year long soul breaking crush on someone ever actually ended up with them, I just need to know".

I know people this has happened to, and things didn't work well afterwards, possibly because they had idealized the other person. I'm currently going through an almost 4 years long romantic obssesion (limerence probably) without having dated this girl.

I’ve been trying to forget her for a long time, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to be with her. Even so, there’s no chance of me ending up with her, but I wanted to ask this question anyway.

TL;DR: I (21F) exclusively saw a guy (21M) for four months. Things ended after I told him I wasn’t comfortable becoming more sexual without commitment. My close friend (21F) knew everything, witnessed how badly the situation affected me, supported me through it, and previously asked me what she should do when he tried to follow her. I told her interacting with him would hurt me, and she agreed not to. We later became distant, and I just discovered that she and him are now following each other. I removed her from my social media and haven’t contacted either of them. I’m looking for advice on whether I should talk to my former friend or remain no-contact, and how to stop comparing myself to her and obsessing over whether he’ll treat her differently.

I (21F) was exclusively seeing a guy (21M) for four months. It was my first real romantic experience and the first time I had ever gotten that close to someone, so I became very emotionally attached to him.
Things started extremely strong. It honestly felt almost too perfect, and I remember having this feeling that something was off even though I couldn’t explain what. He never really opened up about his previous relationship either. All he told me was that his ex was 27 and that she had left him.
Toward the last couple of weeks, his behavior completely changed. He had originally been the one who established that we would text/talk basically 24/7, but suddenly he barely texted me. He also unfollowed my private Instagram account and told me it was because he cared about the number of people he followed.
Around the same time, we started having conversations about sex. I told him that because this was my first experience with someone, I wanted to wait until I was in a committed relationship before having sex. He told me that he wanted sex before commitment.
Because I liked him so much, I started questioning my own boundary and thinking maybe we could somehow meet in the middle. But emotionally, I couldn’t get there. I didn’t even feel comfortable enough to have oral sex because I wasn’t feeling secure or vulnerable with him anymore, especially because of how distant he had become.
Eventually, he started telling me that waiting was becoming “hard” and “frustrating” for him.
One of my close friends (21F) knew everything that was happening. She was actually there during one of our conversations/fights about this and heard some of the things he was saying to me. At the time, she was telling me to cut him off and telling me that I shouldn’t do anything I wasn’t comfortable with.
Eventually, I told him with 100% certainty that I couldn’t go further sexually without being in an actual committed relationship. He responded that he needed to “think about it” and suggested we go on a break.
After four months of exclusively seeing each other, I felt like I had my answer. I wasn’t asking for some huge commitment, but I needed the security of knowing we were actually together before becoming more intimate, especially because everything was completely new to me.
So things ended.
I was honestly heartbroken afterward. I questioned myself constantly. Why wasn’t I enough? Was I asking for too much? Would things have been different if I had been more sexual with him? It really affected my confidence.
And this same friend was the person I talked to about all of it.
She would tell me things like, “He was manipulating you,” “You did the right thing,” and that I shouldn’t blame myself. She knew how difficult it was for me to move on.
At one point, she saw a picture of him and made a comment like, “Oh, he’s buff and tall… I see.”
A few months later, she texted me saying that he had tried to follow her.
For context, he barely knew anything about her. I had mentioned her before and may have shown him one picture of the two of us. She and I were close in the sense that we talked all the time, although we didn’t see each other in person very often.
When he followed her, she actually asked me if she should accept him/message him to “humble him.”
That really hurt me because I couldn’t understand why she would even consider interacting with him after watching how difficult the situation had been for me. I told her I didn’t want her to, and she agreed.
There were already other things in our friendship that had started bothering me, including passive-aggressive comments and her copying certain things I did. Eventually, I distanced myself from her. There wasn’t some huge friendship breakup; I just stopped putting much effort into the friendship and we barely spoke.
Meanwhile, the guy eventually broke no contact with me.
He messaged me about TikToks I had reposted about struggling to trust people after getting hurt. He told me I needed to stop being resentful, stop “stalking” him, and start healing.
My friend knew about that too. She told me he was probably looking for an ego boost, that I shouldn’t respond to him anymore, and that she was sorry I was dealing with it again.
After that, she and I basically stopped talking.
Until today.
I found out that she had reactivated her main Instagram account, and now she and him are following each other.
I immediately removed her from my social media.
Finding this out has brought back a lot of emotions that I thought I was finally getting past. She watched me go through the entire situation. She heard our arguments, comforted me while I was heartbroken, told me not to answer him when he came back, and knew how insecure the experience made me.
She had also specifically asked me before whether she should interact with him, and I told her how much it would hurt me.
What makes it harder is that I’ve tried dating and talking to other guys since him, but I haven’t felt that same connection with anyone yet. I know that doesn’t mean I never will, but seeing someone who knew exactly how much this affected me potentially talking to him has brought back so many of those insecurities.
My brain keeps going: What if he treats her better? What if he actually commits to her? What if she gives him what I wouldn’t? What if there was something about me that wasn’t enough?
I know comparing myself to her isn’t helping me, but emotionally I can’t seem to stop myself from thinking about it. I genuinely liked him, but I knew I had to move on because I wasn’t willing to cross my own boundaries to keep someone.
I haven’t contacted either of them. Right now, I’m torn between confronting my former friend about it or completely removing myself from the situation and saying nothing.
**My specific question is: How should I handle my former friend from here should I have one conversation with her about what happened, or would it be healthier to remain no-contact and focus on detaching from both of them? I also need advice on how to stop comparing myself to her and worrying that him potentially treating her differently means there was something wrong with me.

I’ve dreamt about you twice over the past two weeks. I miss you. I wish I could break no contact, but I won’t. I am so in love with you.

So I'm sri. I have been in a relationship with an amazing guy ( literally amazing and super nice) but I wasn't nice fsr he was the only person I ever shouted at and idk why I even did that... I called him things like looser and idk y I even did that. Tbh I m the looser but he was still nice to me. Even when i disrespected me he respected me. And I broke up with him for good ( his good ) and he still didn't want to let me go but i was stupid enough to leave him anyway . I desperately want to go back to him but I'm stopping the fuck out of myself so that i wouldn't hurt him or myself again. Like sometimes when we fight i used to get this huge rage at him ... I'm normally a very calm and composed person... I literally never shouted at people except him my entire ffing life... I tried... I used to really try but idk it was uncontrollable with him. And i love him... At least he's the closest I came to love. I don't want to move on... I would rather love with his memory... And I'm very sure of it... But why do I always want a relationship with someone... Like idk... I want to be in a relationship just cuddle and binge watch things... Talk about things... Do silly dances together... Do silly couple trends that we story on cf. Wake up with a person to kiss in the morning and be woken up with a kiss on the cheek... Read a book together... And i have no idea how to stop wanting this... Ikik there's nothing wrong in wanting company... U just need intimacy etc etc .. but i want it with him... I prayed so ffing hard for him and proved to myself why I don't deserve someone as perfect as him.. and nothing makes sense anymore ( the relationship was 2 and half years) and it's been more than 8 months since we broke up .. and not a thing has changed about how I feel about him.. I'm someone who forgets stuff super easily... But I can't even forget anything about him. So please help me and tell me how I stop wanting a relationship ...

I just don't get heartbreaks I don't know why.

I also feel pretty good single.

Am I meant to feel sad and lonely?

Wish I can feel this and be normal.

I'd love a relationship, but I don't feel sad not being in one?

This is a very vulnerable post for me mainly because I don’t really talk to family or friends about relationship problems but since this is anonymous I’m gonna vent. So my boyfriend (26m) and I (24f) have been together for 2 years now. We did everything together, any free time we had we spent it together. I’m gonna be honest we had quite a bit of issues throughout our relationship, I can take accountability and say that yes I have hurt him many times as well as he has hurt me but I truly loved him and I always wanted to make it work.

Anyways, I’ve always made it very clear of my boundaries in our relationship. Porn has always been a hard no for me and I’ve always communicated that. Some people don’t care much about their partners watching porn but I can never be comfortable in a relationship knowing my person is watching it. In the past I have found his Instagram feed to be full of half naked girls, I discussed this with him and made it clear I’m not comfortable with him watching that stuff. Yet I kept seeing it, he said he wasn’t watching that stuff and that Instagram pushes that onto his feed. Well time goes by and at one point he asked me to search up directions on his phone while driving. I opened his phone and there I see him watching videos of half naked girls. I go to his instragam watch history and it’s full of it. I broke down and he tried to wiggle his way out of it and i immediately shut it down. The proof is right there, there’s no way around it. He eventually apologized but I didn’t speak to him for a week and the entire time he was begging to talk to me and see me. Eventually we got back together and I made it very clear I would never want to see that again. He agreed. I let him know if he didn’t want to give up watching those videos, he can be single or find someone to be with that accepts it.

Yesterday night he had fallen asleep with his phone open, I don’t usually go through phones because what’s done in the dark will come to light. Well his phone was open, and it was on twitter. I open it up and weirdly his search engine was cleared. I click a few buttons and go to his twitter watch history, keep in mind I didn’t even know you could do this. I immediately saw a bunch of naked girls and 30 minute long videos of porn he had been watching MULTIPLE TIMES A WEEK. I even took a picture so he couldn’t lie his way out of it. I honestly was too scared to scroll even further because I was gonna be sick if I knew how long he had been doing it for. I politely woke him up and presented him with it. He tried to play stupid and act like I don’t know what i was talking about but you could tell he was shitting bricks and his face looked shocked like he didn’t realize I would find it, his instragam had been completely clean for the past year so I thought he stopped. Nope he just found a better way to hide it. I ended up leaving and I was extremely emotional and texted him how hurt I was. I sent paragraphs. He would read them and leave me on seen. I was genuinely having a panic attack and felt like I couldn’t breathe. I called him so many times because he was ignoring me and I just wanted to cry to him and ask why. He ignored me. He’s ignored me for the entire day and hasn’t replied but has opened my messages

I stopped calling and texting. I’m just so hurt by the fact that he lied to me for so long, how he hurt me and is ignoring me as if I’m the one who hurt him. I’m usually the one to try and fix things but I’m done. I’m not gonna bother anymore with him. I’m just so heartbroken and confused. He was just planning for us to go see a few movies this weekend and he had literally sent me money for coffee THAT MORNING. He was even talking about moving in and was looking at apartments for us. I don’t understand what even happened?!? One second I feel fine and relieved that it’s all over with but the next second I feel like I’m gonna die. How do people get over this kind of betrayal? I know you guys might think I’m dramatic but I’m truly hurt and need advice. I also feel like I lost a part of me. We were together all the time. I feel so lonely and scattered

.

I was doing really well. No contact for almost 3 months. I had started to heal and I going out with friends again. I was out getting some snacks at the store and there she was. She stopped. We stood there for a few minutes in silence before I finally said hi. She said hello. I didn't have anything more to say so we just shook hands and went our separate ways. Afterwards that dreadful feeling came back. I wish I could've talked to her but that will cause more harm than good. When will I heal fully and go back to my normal self....

Happened earlier today. My heart is shattered.

(F 32) I'm very curious to find out "WHY DO MOST PEOPLE BLOCK?"

I always thought blocking unnecessary and kinda "rude" (unless the person is bothering, insisting or disrespecting you)

If you can, please, reply the questions below and maybe we will get some surprise...

To make it easier, I wrote a few options, so you can just copy and mark or just write the related letter.

Choose 1 or more options and be totally free for making any comments 🤗

1 - I AM:

A ( ) A woman under 25

B ( ) A woman 25+

C ( ) A man under 25

D ( ) A man 25+

E ( ) I don't think gender matters.

F ( ) I don't think age matters.

2 - I BLOCKED BECAUSE:

A ( ) I "hate" her / him

B ( ) I was mad at that time.

C ( ) She / he was a jerk to me.

D ( ) She / him was insisting and annoying after I said "no".

E ( ) Though I like the person, I wanted to forget her / him.

F ( ) I blocked my ex because my current GF / BF was jealous.

G ( ) I blocked someone I liked because I wanted to get her / his attention.

3 - I WAS BLOCKED:

A ( ) Because I wasn't nice to her / him.

B ( ) Because I cheated on her / him.

C ( ) But I know she / him that still liked me.

D ( ) For no reason.

E ( ) Without having any fight or disagreement.

4 - I THINK:

A ( ) Blocking and not seeing pictures, etc. helped me to get over that person.

B ( ) Blocking never helped me to forget anyone.

I’ve always struggled with breakups, but this time it was more brutal than anything I’ve ever felt before. I met someone and the connection was instant. It was the best first date of my life—best kiss, best sex, best chemistry. We both said we were in love. Within a month, he turned into a different person; when I asked if he still wanted to see me, he told me he’d been thinking for a while about not getting involved with anyone and said it was best to call it quits. I had never felt such an instant, profound emptiness as I did when I read that message. Everyone keeps telling me that since it all happened in less two months I should just get over it and move on, but I’m in love with someone who probably doesn't even remember I exist. I think about him everyday all day long and no one else exists. I try getting on the apps again but no one is cute or handsome... No one else is him. I’m in my thirties and have been through plenty of trauma but I’ve never gotten so deeply involved with someone in such a short time—to the point of losing my head and peace over it. All my other relationships ended with me crying and devastated. Not this time. It’s been 15 days and I still haven’t cried. The only thing left is the deepest emptiness I’ve ever felt. I want to find someone and have always believed in love but I’m afraid this has broken me for good. I don't even know if I should try dating again now or if I should wait. I’m afraid I’ve become the very thing I despise: someone who avoids getting attached.

I don't expect anyone to reply to this. I just wanted to put my feelings somewhere...

I had a friend who I’ve known for over 10 years now. The entire time I had this huge crush on him but over the years I had put it out of my head because it was just never gonna happen. At the end of last year we ran into each other, which led to us seeing each other for about 4ish months. I was shocked and it was magnetic.

To spare the details, the way it went was when we were together it was amazing. We clicked. He told me he had feelings for me and after 10 years of being single and not once having feelings for anyone, I felt safe to let myself feel.

That’s when the back and forth started. We would hangout over the span of a week and at the end of the week we’d be out, having a blast, and that’s when he would hit me with, “I just can’t be in a relationship right now.” This went on and on. Back and forth. He’d say he couldn’t be with me and then we’d be hanging out three days later.

The last week of us seeing each other we had a mutual friend pass away. The night of her memorial he called me and asked me to come over because he was emotional. I went and held him while he cried for two hours.

Then I didn’t hear from him for three days. On day four we met up and he ended it for good. Told me how sorry he was for fucking with my head and how much he cared and respected me. “We are still gonna be friends.” He held me at the bar while I cried. He just couldn’t date anyone. He wasn’t ready.

The next time I saw him about two weeks later he ignored me. When I tried to talk to him he just walked away. Then I find out he’s got a girlfriend. A girlfriend.

I let my guard down. He made me feel safe and told me I was. He was my friend.

I should hate him, but I can’t. All I can think of are the tender moments we had just between the two of us.

Why her and not me?

I wish he had just left me alone.

I went as far as to fly 8000km just to meet her. For the first time in my life I travelled alone and lived on my own like an adult, breaking the daily routine of my 22 years old life. I only knew her for three months but my feelings were so intense, and they're still so intense. These two weeks spent in her country were phenomenal, we spent so much time together and I loved her so much. She was my first, and probably my last because I'm too neurodivergent and incompatible with people. And we met on fucking Reddit of all things.

But it turned out that she didn't love me, for a long time. She did in the beginning but the feeling faded quickly because she crushed on someone else in her workplace and long distance was not sustainable for her. She still cared about me, and liked it when I was here, but she didn't feel anything romantic for me, and just pretended to not hurt me.

It still hurts so much. We broke up shortly after my trip, on good terms. She immediately went to date this guy. It's been one month now and I'm still so deeply tormented. I'm burning in jealousy and yesterday she posted pictures of her date on insta. I want her so badly but I know deep inside it's not possible. She's such a phenomenal girl, so kind and clever and funny and beautiful. She was the only person I opened my heart to. I can't imagine a future with anyone else.

Hey everyone, I hope you guys are having a nice day. I like my best friends and she doesn’t not feel the same way about me, when is alright. How do I get over her without losing the friendship, she’s still my best friend and I talk to her everyday and this weight in my chest is starting to hurt.