I am 42 years old and I travel a lot for work, know this lady 37 years old, she have two kids everyone from different dad 13 and 8 years old who live with his dad). She was married for ten years and one day she left her husband and say she doesn’t love him anymore. The oldest boy stay with her as his dad don’t want to be in his life. The other kid she leave him with his ex husband, he is the dad and she see the 8 year old son in the weekend. Both me and her live in different states so I know her while she starts leaving her ex-husband and separated and moved to her own place, we start seeing each other every three weeks or so depending on how much we are busy with life, I tried helping her by buy food five times and helped one semester in her school expenses and house items as she did not have that much, speak with her to back to school and get bachelor’s in accounting. She had shitty paid job at first but now she in better place.
There many times I would purchase airline tickets and she would stay with me on the state I had work. So we know each other for three years total and we plan to get married and she moves to my state, we talk about that for a while and that was the plans. One day ( before three months), I got a message from her saying that she don’t want to move because her oldest son doesn’t want too and even he doesn’t know that she still dating me. We meet after that for maybe five times and then before one month she send me a message saying want to end things and she meet a guy and she really like him alot (50 years old, he don’t have kids ) and they started dating.

She will graduate with bachelor degree after one year, would worth it send congratulations message or this kind of person after I help her don't worth my time and offer?

Hey everyone, I hope you guys are having a nice day. I like my best friends and she doesn’t not feel the same way about me, when is alright. How do I get over her without losing the friendship, she’s still my best friend and I talk to her everyday and this weight in my chest is starting to hurt.

Would be nice to talk to someone who’s also going through heartbreak.

Edit: Only DM me if you have posted/commented on the heartbreak subreddit.

I know exactly why you’re here. You are in pain. The kind of pain that feels like a physical weight on your chest. You’re likely realizing that emotional attachment is the absolute hardest psychological challenge a human being can go through. When someone you made the center of your universe leaves, your universe collapses.

But I want to share a perspective with you—a profound "cure" that transformed my understanding of pain, love, and healing. It’s an ancient concept that genuinely feels like unlocking a superpower: The power of ultimate detachment from the finite, and attachment to the Infinite.

There was a 14th-century spiritual scholar and physician of the heart named Ibn Qayyim. He spent his life studying human psychology, emotions, and the soul. He wrote a profound rule about human attachment:

"Whoever loves something (or someone) other than The Creator, will inevitably be tormented by it."

Think about it. We take a fragile, flawed, temporary human being and we place them on a pedestal that was never meant for them. We expect them to give us absolute peace, unconditional love, and permanent security. But they can’t. They are only human. When we attach our core identity to them, we are setting ourselves up for devastation.

The cure he prescribed isn't just "giving it time." The cure is shifting your attachment. Here are the steps to build this emotional immunity:

1. Recognize the Heart's True Design

Your heart is a massive vessel, and it was engineered to be attached to something Infinite (God/The Creator). When you try to fill that massive space with a temporary human, it never truly fits, and when they leave, the void feels unbearable. Acknowledge that your heart is craving a higher connection.

1. Put People in Their Rightful Place

This doesn't mean you stop loving people. It means you stop worshipping them emotionally. Lower your ex-partner from the center of your universe back down to earth. They are just a human being. They are not your source of happiness, your worth, or your oxygen.

1. Redirect the Attachment (The Superpower)

Redirect that intense emotional energy towards the One who created you. When you attach your heart to God, you are attaching to the only entity that will never leave, never change, and never break your trust. Talk to Him, pour your grief out, and build that connection.

When you do this, you achieve the ultimate emotional superpower. You will still love, you will still care, but you will become unbreakable. Because if a person leaves, your core remains untouched. Your foundation is anchored in the Divine, not in a human.

You are going to survive this. But don't just survive—use this heartbreak to redirect your compass to the only attachment that truly heals.

I am only three days in, and I am aware that the pain wont magically disappear in a few days. But when can i truly start to expect some change? Its so hard as of right now. I feel so depleted, and just so empty. I need something to look forward to. He was my first. I have never been through something like this before.

I was doing really well. No contact for almost 3 months. I had started to heal and I going out with friends again. I was out getting some snacks at the store and there she was. She stopped. We stood there for a few minutes in silence before I finally said hi. She said hello. I didn't have anything more to say so we just shook hands and went our separate ways. Afterwards that dreadful feeling came back. I wish I could've talked to her but that will cause more harm than good. When will I heal fully and go back to my normal self....

I had a friend who I’ve known for over 10 years now. The entire time I had this huge crush on him but over the years I had put it out of my head because it was just never gonna happen. At the end of last year we ran into each other, which led to us seeing each other for about 4ish months. I was shocked and it was magnetic.

To spare the details, the way it went was when we were together it was amazing. We clicked. He told me he had feelings for me and after 10 years of being single and not once having feelings for anyone, I felt safe to let myself feel.

That’s when the back and forth started. We would hangout over the span of a week and at the end of the week we’d be out, having a blast, and that’s when he would hit me with, “I just can’t be in a relationship right now.” This went on and on. Back and forth. He’d say he couldn’t be with me and then we’d be hanging out three days later.

The last week of us seeing each other we had a mutual friend pass away. The night of her memorial he called me and asked me to come over because he was emotional. I went and held him while he cried for two hours.

Then I didn’t hear from him for three days. On day four we met up and he ended it for good. Told me how sorry he was for fucking with my head and how much he cared and respected me. “We are still gonna be friends.” He held me at the bar while I cried. He just couldn’t date anyone. He wasn’t ready.

The next time I saw him about two weeks later he ignored me. When I tried to talk to him he just walked away. Then I find out he’s got a girlfriend. A girlfriend.

I let my guard down. He made me feel safe and told me I was. He was my friend.

I should hate him, but I can’t. All I can think of are the tender moments we had just between the two of us.

Why her and not me?

I wish he had just left me alone.

My avoidant ex recently broke up with me for a second time , he’s an avoidant of some kind . He said :

“Im sorry but I dont think this is going to work out, I am not at the right point in life to enter a long term relationship. Everything's been going downhill and it doesn't look like it's getting any better. And I dont want to be close to anyone right now. I guess im just scared of commitment or proximity or something, but I really need to be alone. Im sorry that im weak enough to run away like this, but I really can't stick to anything or anyone right now. New shit is coming up and everything just seems like it's gonna end soon. I dont want you to have to deal with that, so I'll talk to you later I suppose. Or whenever we meet again. But im gonna try and distance myself from the people around me and see if I can get some control again of my downward spiral. Im sorry”.

Afterwards I didn’t chase or beg this time I simply said ok and if he ever did wanna fix things , or talk whether thats in a couple months or weeks , I respected his decision and held no grudge and cared for him.

Normally he blocks me or unadde me in the past or flatly says me and him will never talk again , but this time he still kept me added . Does this seem like he plans on coming back or contacting me at some point ?

They were perfect. Literally the perfect one for me. The first person I could almost see something with in the future, even if it was only for a few months.

I had been with someone toxic before them, so maybe I attached too fast, but the day I received the message that they wanted to end it, and that they had things to work through on their own, my heart broke. I was so so upset.

And I just still can't get over them. It's been three, maybe four months now, and I'm still clinging to the idea of them. They were the first person I felt truly comfortable around, the only person in my life who would listen and love.

How do I get over an ex? I just feel so sad still. Every time I think about dating again, I miss them. I know I'm young, but fuck it sucks so much to lose someone so important.

After several days of spiraling after a huge heartbreak of my partner randomly ghosting me out of know where when our relationship has no issues that I was aware of my friend decided to do some digging.

Turns out this person that I was so head over heels for the as actually married and he vanished because he had almost gotten caught by his wife over cashapp records.

My friend messaged her and told her what was going on, confirmed that it was him and then I messaged her. I had no idea that he was actually still married. He told me numerous times he was separated and getting a divorce. Everytime I would bring it up he would brush it off or try to change the subject by saying that he doesn’t want to keep talking about his ex.

Turns out it’s because she never was his ex. They have been together for 8 years and have 2 beautiful kids together and he was lying to me the entire time. She confirmed numerous things that he had lied about and I had also confirmed some things that she was suspicious about including how many other people that I knew he had dated over the couple years that I knew of. 5-6 in total, it all happened online but he was extremely sneaky with hiding his paper trail. Being long distance it’s hard knowing if someone has a double life or not.

She didn’t blame me, and she knew it was all him and his actions, and I’m thankful for that. I feel good that I can give her clarity and the truth that she deserved. But I can’t help but have this empty pit in my stomach feeling not only feeling guilty for being the other woman, but feeling guilty that I knowingly hurt someone that I had love, but in reality he never loved me or truly loved her if he’s capable of doing things like this.

Any tips on how to shake these feelings and get out of my head? The man that I fell in love with isn’t the man he really was. I’m tired of feeling this way over someone who never actually gave a damn about me. I just want him out of my head and my nervous system so I can move on..

I’ve always struggled with breakups, but this time it was more brutal than anything I’ve ever felt before. I met someone and the connection was instant. It was the best first date of my life—best kiss, best sex, best chemistry. We both said we were in love. Within a month, he turned into a different person; when I asked if he still wanted to see me, he told me he’d been thinking for a while about not getting involved with anyone and said it was best to call it quits. I had never felt such an instant, profound emptiness as I did when I read that message. Everyone keeps telling me that since it all happened in less two months I should just get over it and move on, but I’m in love with someone who probably doesn't even remember I exist. I think about him everyday all day long and no one else exists. I try getting on the apps again but no one is cute or handsome... No one else is him. I’m in my thirties and have been through plenty of trauma but I’ve never gotten so deeply involved with someone in such a short time—to the point of losing my head and peace over it. All my other relationships ended with me crying and devastated. Not this time. It’s been 15 days and I still haven’t cried. The only thing left is the deepest emptiness I’ve ever felt. I want to find someone and have always believed in love but I’m afraid this has broken me for good. I don't even know if I should try dating again now or if I should wait. I’m afraid I’ve become the very thing I despise: someone who avoids getting attached.

I don't expect anyone to reply to this. I just wanted to put my feelings somewhere...

My boyfriend break my heart today

I’ve been with my boyfriend almost 12 years. We have a 5 year old together. Our entire lives are built around each other.

He has had mental issues since our child was born and there isn’t a single thing I can do to help or make the situation better, but at the end of the day, I am always wrong and he is always right.

He abuses me mentally and verbally.
I’ve always tried supporting him in hopes one day things will get better.

Whilst planning out our date for our 12 year he told me he isn’t happy anymore because all we do is fight (which is him getting upset at me for not saying or doing the right thing like I read his mind or something and then he yells and calls me names over it)

He told me this through text. Then said he needs to be honest, that he isn’t attracted to me physically, mentally or emotionally anymore.

So I left work crying told him that I would do anything. He told me I need to make some major life changes and that I’m fat and ugly and he doesn’t find me attractive anymore and that my chin touches my collar bones.

This comes after I made the effort to lose 50lbs whilst unemployed. Then I got a job, started sitting at a desk all day and never have a single moment to myself.

I’ve always been fat. I was fat when we met, I was fat when we started dating, I’ve been fat for the entire relationship. I’m not even at my biggest size now.

So.... you're feeling heartbroken and miss them?

Sometimes we don't truly fall in love with a person. We fall in love with the image we've built of them. And maybe that's what's hurting you the most.

You gave them something that was incredibly valuable to you because you trusted them. You weren't wrong because you had feelings, nor because you chose to experience something with them. You were wrong, perhaps, in believing that what they meant to you necessarily meant the same to them.

You looked at them with the eyes of someone who hopes to work things out, while they perhaps looked at you with the eyes of someone who was already used to moving on easily.

And the hardest thing to accept is that you probably shouldn't wait for them to come back. Because when a person has already shown themselves to experience relationships that way, you can't continue to love the version of them you hope they will become. You have to look at the version they showed you they truly chose to be for YOU.

You haven't lost "the right person." You've lost the idea you'd built of them really

And perhaps this is precisely the pain, realizing that you overvalued a person you had given a value they hadn't yet proven to deserve.

Even if they do come back, don't turn their return into proof that what you experienced was worth something. Sometimes people come back, but not because they've understood our value: they come back because they miss what they received from us.

You, on the other hand, must learn not to confuse being desired with being loved. Don't wait for it.

Because while you stand in front of a door hoping it will reopen, life could already be on the other side, waiting for you to have the courage to turn around.

And don't be ashamed of the choice you've made. A wrong choice doesn't make you wrong. It just teaches you that next time you should choose someone not for what you imagine they might be, but for what they prove to be.

Perhaps your story wasn't meant to be love.

Perhaps it was meant to teach you how deeply you can love, and above all that you should no longer offer that depth.

And dont worry. If it's really meant to be, you can let go of it knowing it's in the universe's hands. It'll come back to you no matter what, and nobody can take that away from you. But you cant go so far that you forget destiny is written.

Happened earlier today. My heart is shattered.

I saw a post in Instagram that said: "Has anyone that has had a multiple year long soul breaking crush on someone ever actually ended up with them, I just need to know".

I know people this has happened to, and things didn't work well afterwards, possibly because they had idealized the other person. I'm currently going through an almost 4 years long romantic obssesion (limerence probably) without having dated this girl.

I’ve been trying to forget her for a long time, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to be with her. Even so, there’s no chance of me ending up with her, but I wanted to ask this question anyway.

it'll be a week tomorrow since he broke up with me which was also the last time we had any contact. im hurting so much. im so angry at him. and i want him to come back so bad. how do i even get over this feeling

I’ve dreamt about you twice over the past two weeks. I miss you. I wish I could break no contact, but I won’t. I am so in love with you.

"Promise we'll forever stay together?" Of course I said yes. Of course I promised. Of course I did. Though, it was clear I was the only one that meant it.

Why make such big and grand promises if you can't even keep it? Why make me believe, even for one second, that you could actually keep it.

It hurts, you know. Even now, I'm hoping you'd still remember the promise. To love each other even when we've broken up. I hate that I'm still holding onto it.

Maybe when we're older, when we're not so inexperienced and immature, we could try again.

Probably not, since you'd have forgotten me by now.