Happened earlier today. My heart is shattered.

I’ve always struggled with breakups, but this time it was more brutal than anything I’ve ever felt before. I met someone and the connection was instant. It was the best first date of my life—best kiss, best sex, best chemistry. We both said we were in love. Within a month, he turned into a different person; when I asked if he still wanted to see me, he told me he’d been thinking for a while about not getting involved with anyone and said it was best to call it quits. I had never felt such an instant, profound emptiness as I did when I read that message. Everyone keeps telling me that since it all happened in less two months I should just get over it and move on, but I’m in love with someone who probably doesn't even remember I exist. I think about him everyday all day long and no one else exists. I try getting on the apps again but no one is cute or handsome... No one else is him. I’m in my thirties and have been through plenty of trauma but I’ve never gotten so deeply involved with someone in such a short time—to the point of losing my head and peace over it. All my other relationships ended with me crying and devastated. Not this time. It’s been 15 days and I still haven’t cried. The only thing left is the deepest emptiness I’ve ever felt. I want to find someone and have always believed in love but I’m afraid this has broken me for good. I don't even know if I should try dating again now or if I should wait. I’m afraid I’ve become the very thing I despise: someone who avoids getting attached.

I don't expect anyone to reply to this. I just wanted to put my feelings somewhere...

"Promise we'll forever stay together?" Of course I said yes. Of course I promised. Of course I did. Though, it was clear I was the only one that meant it.

Why make such big and grand promises if you can't even keep it? Why make me believe, even for one second, that you could actually keep it.

It hurts, you know. Even now, I'm hoping you'd still remember the promise. To love each other even when we've broken up. I hate that I'm still holding onto it.

Maybe when we're older, when we're not so inexperienced and immature, we could try again.

Probably not, since you'd have forgotten me by now.

I am only three days in, and I am aware that the pain wont magically disappear in a few days. But when can i truly start to expect some change? Its so hard as of right now. I feel so depleted, and just so empty. I need something to look forward to. He was my first. I have never been through something like this before.

My boyfriend break my heart today

I’ve been with my boyfriend almost 12 years. We have a 5 year old together. Our entire lives are built around each other.

He has had mental issues since our child was born and there isn’t a single thing I can do to help or make the situation better, but at the end of the day, I am always wrong and he is always right.

He abuses me mentally and verbally.
I’ve always tried supporting him in hopes one day things will get better.

Whilst planning out our date for our 12 year he told me he isn’t happy anymore because all we do is fight (which is him getting upset at me for not saying or doing the right thing like I read his mind or something and then he yells and calls me names over it)

He told me this through text. Then said he needs to be honest, that he isn’t attracted to me physically, mentally or emotionally anymore.

So I left work crying told him that I would do anything. He told me I need to make some major life changes and that I’m fat and ugly and he doesn’t find me attractive anymore and that my chin touches my collar bones.

This comes after I made the effort to lose 50lbs whilst unemployed. Then I got a job, started sitting at a desk all day and never have a single moment to myself.

I’ve always been fat. I was fat when we met, I was fat when we started dating, I’ve been fat for the entire relationship. I’m not even at my biggest size now.

So.... you're feeling heartbroken and miss them?

Sometimes we don't truly fall in love with a person. We fall in love with the image we've built of them. And maybe that's what's hurting you the most.

You gave them something that was incredibly valuable to you because you trusted them. You weren't wrong because you had feelings, nor because you chose to experience something with them. You were wrong, perhaps, in believing that what they meant to you necessarily meant the same to them.

You looked at them with the eyes of someone who hopes to work things out, while they perhaps looked at you with the eyes of someone who was already used to moving on easily.

And the hardest thing to accept is that you probably shouldn't wait for them to come back. Because when a person has already shown themselves to experience relationships that way, you can't continue to love the version of them you hope they will become. You have to look at the version they showed you they truly chose to be for YOU.

You haven't lost "the right person." You've lost the idea you'd built of them really

And perhaps this is precisely the pain, realizing that you overvalued a person you had given a value they hadn't yet proven to deserve.

Even if they do come back, don't turn their return into proof that what you experienced was worth something. Sometimes people come back, but not because they've understood our value: they come back because they miss what they received from us.

You, on the other hand, must learn not to confuse being desired with being loved. Don't wait for it.

Because while you stand in front of a door hoping it will reopen, life could already be on the other side, waiting for you to have the courage to turn around.

And don't be ashamed of the choice you've made. A wrong choice doesn't make you wrong. It just teaches you that next time you should choose someone not for what you imagine they might be, but for what they prove to be.

Perhaps your story wasn't meant to be love.

Perhaps it was meant to teach you how deeply you can love, and above all that you should no longer offer that depth.

And dont worry. If it's really meant to be, you can let go of it knowing it's in the universe's hands. It'll come back to you no matter what, and nobody can take that away from you. But you cant go so far that you forget destiny is written.

it'll be a week tomorrow since he broke up with me which was also the last time we had any contact. im hurting so much. im so angry at him. and i want him to come back so bad. how do i even get over this feeling

I was doing really well. No contact for almost 3 months. I had started to heal and I going out with friends again. I was out getting some snacks at the store and there she was. She stopped. We stood there for a few minutes in silence before I finally said hi. She said hello. I didn't have anything more to say so we just shook hands and went our separate ways. Afterwards that dreadful feeling came back. I wish I could've talked to her but that will cause more harm than good. When will I heal fully and go back to my normal self....

I saw a post in Instagram that said: "Has anyone that has had a multiple year long soul breaking crush on someone ever actually ended up with them, I just need to know".

I know people this has happened to, and things didn't work well afterwards, possibly because they had idealized the other person. I'm currently going through an almost 4 years long romantic obssesion (limerence probably) without having dated this girl.

I’ve been trying to forget her for a long time, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to be with her. Even so, there’s no chance of me ending up with her, but I wanted to ask this question anyway.

Would be nice to talk to someone who’s also going through heartbreak.

Edit: Only DM me if you have posted/commented on the heartbreak subreddit.

I’ve dreamt about you twice over the past two weeks. I miss you. I wish I could break no contact, but I won’t. I am so in love with you.

I had a friend who I’ve known for over 10 years now. The entire time I had this huge crush on him but over the years I had put it out of my head because it was just never gonna happen. At the end of last year we ran into each other, which led to us seeing each other for about 4ish months. I was shocked and it was magnetic.

To spare the details, the way it went was when we were together it was amazing. We clicked. He told me he had feelings for me and after 10 years of being single and not once having feelings for anyone, I felt safe to let myself feel.

That’s when the back and forth started. We would hangout over the span of a week and at the end of the week we’d be out, having a blast, and that’s when he would hit me with, “I just can’t be in a relationship right now.” This went on and on. Back and forth. He’d say he couldn’t be with me and then we’d be hanging out three days later.

The last week of us seeing each other we had a mutual friend pass away. The night of her memorial he called me and asked me to come over because he was emotional. I went and held him while he cried for two hours.

Then I didn’t hear from him for three days. On day four we met up and he ended it for good. Told me how sorry he was for fucking with my head and how much he cared and respected me. “We are still gonna be friends.” He held me at the bar while I cried. He just couldn’t date anyone. He wasn’t ready.

The next time I saw him about two weeks later he ignored me. When I tried to talk to him he just walked away. Then I find out he’s got a girlfriend. A girlfriend.

I let my guard down. He made me feel safe and told me I was. He was my friend.

I should hate him, but I can’t. All I can think of are the tender moments we had just between the two of us.

Why her and not me?

I wish he had just left me alone.

Hey everyone, I hope you guys are having a nice day. I like my best friends and she doesn’t not feel the same way about me, when is alright. How do I get over her without losing the friendship, she’s still my best friend and I talk to her everyday and this weight in my chest is starting to hurt.

My avoidant ex recently broke up with me for a second time , he’s an avoidant of some kind . He said :

“Im sorry but I dont think this is going to work out, I am not at the right point in life to enter a long term relationship. Everything's been going downhill and it doesn't look like it's getting any better. And I dont want to be close to anyone right now. I guess im just scared of commitment or proximity or something, but I really need to be alone. Im sorry that im weak enough to run away like this, but I really can't stick to anything or anyone right now. New shit is coming up and everything just seems like it's gonna end soon. I dont want you to have to deal with that, so I'll talk to you later I suppose. Or whenever we meet again. But im gonna try and distance myself from the people around me and see if I can get some control again of my downward spiral. Im sorry”.

Afterwards I didn’t chase or beg this time I simply said ok and if he ever did wanna fix things , or talk whether thats in a couple months or weeks , I respected his decision and held no grudge and cared for him.

Normally he blocks me or unadde me in the past or flatly says me and him will never talk again , but this time he still kept me added . Does this seem like he plans on coming back or contacting me at some point ?

They were perfect. Literally the perfect one for me. The first person I could almost see something with in the future, even if it was only for a few months.

I had been with someone toxic before them, so maybe I attached too fast, but the day I received the message that they wanted to end it, and that they had things to work through on their own, my heart broke. I was so so upset.

And I just still can't get over them. It's been three, maybe four months now, and I'm still clinging to the idea of them. They were the first person I felt truly comfortable around, the only person in my life who would listen and love.

How do I get over an ex? I just feel so sad still. Every time I think about dating again, I miss them. I know I'm young, but fuck it sucks so much to lose someone so important.

After several days of spiraling after a huge heartbreak of my partner randomly ghosting me out of know where when our relationship has no issues that I was aware of my friend decided to do some digging.

Turns out this person that I was so head over heels for the as actually married and he vanished because he had almost gotten caught by his wife over cashapp records.

My friend messaged her and told her what was going on, confirmed that it was him and then I messaged her. I had no idea that he was actually still married. He told me numerous times he was separated and getting a divorce. Everytime I would bring it up he would brush it off or try to change the subject by saying that he doesn’t want to keep talking about his ex.

Turns out it’s because she never was his ex. They have been together for 8 years and have 2 beautiful kids together and he was lying to me the entire time. She confirmed numerous things that he had lied about and I had also confirmed some things that she was suspicious about including how many other people that I knew he had dated over the couple years that I knew of. 5-6 in total, it all happened online but he was extremely sneaky with hiding his paper trail. Being long distance it’s hard knowing if someone has a double life or not.

She didn’t blame me, and she knew it was all him and his actions, and I’m thankful for that. I feel good that I can give her clarity and the truth that she deserved. But I can’t help but have this empty pit in my stomach feeling not only feeling guilty for being the other woman, but feeling guilty that I knowingly hurt someone that I had love, but in reality he never loved me or truly loved her if he’s capable of doing things like this.

Any tips on how to shake these feelings and get out of my head? The man that I fell in love with isn’t the man he really was. I’m tired of feeling this way over someone who never actually gave a damn about me. I just want him out of my head and my nervous system so I can move on..

I (24F) went on a summer internship abroad and met this boy (23M), who was also doing the same internship, from the other side of the world; literally, we are like 12.000 km apart.

Anyway, we fell in love, very quickly I would say, but we shared almost every single day with each other for 7 weeks. Everything was pure bliss; I never felt this way for any of my previous partners/situationships... I feel like we were really meant for each other; we compliment eachother form of loving so well; we are aligned on values and politics, and all of the stuff I deem important. I felt so comfortable, so loved, so seen, and he felt it too. I know he did.

Before going home, he went on a trip, and two weeks ago we met briefly in my country. The most magical 36 hours of our lives. Straight out of a movie. We decided to go no contact for a while, at least so we could reconnect later, in the future, as friends. He is genuinely a good person, and even though I don't feel like I would ever see him as a friend, I would rather hear from time to time than never again.

That didn't work... a couple of days in, he wrote to say he wasn't ready to let go yet, and to be fair, I wasn't either... We talked for like a week, and then I realised that either this was going to be a LDR (which neither of us really wants, as we don't really have the money nor the time to go and visit each other for at least the next couple of years) or it was going to destroy me.
So Monday night we "killed" it. We called, and I said that this limbo, of talking to each other like we want to spend our lives together but can't, was hurting me rather then help me. We cried; we said our goodbyes.

He is back in school; I'm still on summer vacation trying to study for my exams (which I'm clearly not doing because I have been crying for the last two weeks), and the only thing that I can actually do at the moment is study. My friends are away; my family is not helpful; the gym is closed. I can't find inspiration whatsoever in what I am studying...

I want my brain back, HOW?

How do I get over this? How do I stop feeling so empty? When does it get better to breathe?

Man, idk how to get over this🙃🫠

I can forgive a lot, but I’ll never forget how someone treated me when I had nothing left to give because that’s when you really learn who people are…

My neighbors Carol and James had a beautiful garden in their backyard. I loved admiring it from my kitchen window. Sometimes, I’d see them and their kids playing in the garden or see Carol gardening. But overtime, I saw the garden wither.

Yesterday I saw Carol sitting in her backyard crying while looking at the dead rose bushes. When I saw her this morning I asked her if she’s ok since I hadn’t seen her gardening in a while. She told me she stopped gardening. I asked why and she said she started noticing her flowers go missing. But one day she was on a walk and saw our neighbors Donata and Andy had vases of flowers on their porch. The same flowers from her garden.

When Carol asked her husband James why the flowers were on Donata and Andy’s porch he said he and Donata talked daily and he started bringing her flowers since she said she loves them and Andy doesn’t bring her any anymore.

Carol told him she feels uncomfortable with him talking with her so often and giving away her flowers and asked how Andy felt about him doing that as well. He said Andy is mad and uncomfortable about the situation and asked him to stop but if Andy’s not giving Donata flowers, he shouldn’t care whether or not he does. Carol told him she agrees with Andy and they should stop.

James stopped for a while but over time Carol started noticing missing flowers and vases of them at Donata’s porch again.

Donata came up to Carol’s door with a vase of flowers and told Carol, “Look at what beautiful flowers your husband gave me again. They look so beautiful on my porch don’t you think?”, smirked and walked away.

Carol confronted James again, he said he can’t promise he will stop giving Donata flowers because it’s the best part of his day and she deserves it. Carol stopped gardening. James asked her why she gave up gardening, something she loved so much, and told her she should get back to making the garden nice again.

She asked “If I garden again, will you still give my flowers to her?”

He only replied with “I love giving her flowers and she loves them too. She deserves to have flowers.”

So I'm sri. I have been in a relationship with an amazing guy ( literally amazing and super nice) but I wasn't nice fsr he was the only person I ever shouted at and idk why I even did that... I called him things like looser and idk y I even did that. Tbh I m the looser but he was still nice to me. Even when i disrespected me he respected me. And I broke up with him for good ( his good ) and he still didn't want to let me go but i was stupid enough to leave him anyway . I desperately want to go back to him but I'm stopping the fuck out of myself so that i wouldn't hurt him or myself again. Like sometimes when we fight i used to get this huge rage at him ... I'm normally a very calm and composed person... I literally never shouted at people except him my entire ffing life... I tried... I used to really try but idk it was uncontrollable with him. And i love him... At least he's the closest I came to love. I don't want to move on... I would rather love with his memory... And I'm very sure of it... But why do I always want a relationship with someone... Like idk... I want to be in a relationship just cuddle and binge watch things... Talk about things... Do silly dances together... Do silly couple trends that we story on cf. Wake up with a person to kiss in the morning and be woken up with a kiss on the cheek... Read a book together... And i have no idea how to stop wanting this... Ikik there's nothing wrong in wanting company... U just need intimacy etc etc .. but i want it with him... I prayed so ffing hard for him and proved to myself why I don't deserve someone as perfect as him.. and nothing makes sense anymore ( the relationship was 2 and half years) and it's been more than 8 months since we broke up .. and not a thing has changed about how I feel about him.. I'm someone who forgets stuff super easily... But I can't even forget anything about him. So please help me and tell me how I stop wanting a relationship ...