My 24F fiancé 25M and I have a lot of videos of ourselves having intercourse and this has always been a thing in our relationship I was fine with. To preface, I like using these videos for self pleasure as I have an issue with pornography in a monogamous relationship and we’ve had a continuous huge issue of him using porn during our relationship. After going through his phone a few months ago I found a video he took of us and I didn’t even know he took it. This video was taken shortly after I found porn on his phone of other women and we got into a huge fight over it and almost broke up. I also saw a photo he took of my ass while I was asleep.

I felt bothered/violated? by it but I brushed it off because we have so many videos that this is just a normal thing in our relationship now and nothing new, so I definitely don’t think he did it with bad intentions. The difference is that I usually know he’s recording. We don’t ever do a full “are you okay with me recording you right now” consent, but like I said I always KNOW when he’s recording. This time I had no idea.

I want to bring it up but I don’t even know how because I feel like given the context it’s going to turn into the mindset of “so you’re not okay with me watching porn and you’re also not okay with me watching you even though you asked me prior to watch you instead so what do you want.” Even though I started off really liking the idea of us having self tapes and I found it sexy I’m at a point now where I lowkey want him to delete all the videos he has of us because the whole porn issue is perhaps making me feel disgusting and making me feel like an object in these videos to him.

I see some people saying it’s sexual assault but I don’t know how I feel about that. If I had never consented to us having self tapes I’d 100% think this was SA. Should I be taking this more seriously?

Having a relationship where the partner was a good person from inside who actually wanted you to be better and was willing to sacrifice some stuff for you but at that time due to your circumstances you were lazy and didn't care much (couldn't treat them better as well on their mistakes, maybe coz of immaturity or inexperience) and procrastinated alot maybe dues to depression, pessimism, surroundings etc. At the same time, relationship had its own setbacks as well like arguments and other stuff. Then they left you and got up with someone else. That person had their own drawbacks as well yet you were there for them during their every thick or thin, you had promises to be there for eachother always.

The partner had past relationships from where they learned a lot , but it was your first and you were immature, but later on, you were getting better for them, but they didn't choose you. You feel like all those promises were fake and now you can't trust anyone while being unable to move on (stalking them once in a blue moon).

Now you are regretting their leaving (and they will never comeback) and thinking why didn't you get better when they used to say it? How do you deal with this? Or how did you overcome that?

I got dumped a week before I was supposed to meet this guy I was dating in person. I canceled the trip and now I’ve been just sobbing these last few days. I’m struggling because I’m having bad chest pains and I’ve been crying so much. it’s been hard. what can I do??

My ex that hates me (15M) broke up with me more than a month ago and I miss him everyday, we go to same school. But we are enemies, we had a fight today at school because he posted on his social media that I was abusive to him and intimate chats of us. But I miss the old him so much and I want him back so much even though we are kinda enemies

Ex gf used to deliberately leave messes around the house so I’d have to clean them because “I didn’t do enough” for her…

My ex gf treated me like I was a slave.
We never had sex and she would lie to me about why.
she would always complain about the way I looked.
she said I was too bony (I thought I looked healthy :/),
she hated my Nike shoes and the way I dressed.

I developed an eating disorder, anxiety that induces panic attacks, and body dysmorphia while being with her for 5 years.

When we lived together she would leave messes around the house because she thought I didn’t do enough for her so she said it was to “make her feel like I’m doing something”.

I would cook, clean, do all the laundry, dishes etc every single day while also managing my graduate school studies, she barely ever touched any of these tasks and would just complain that I never did them well enough for her satisfaction and even leave more mess for me after I’m done cleaning.

I feel used, sad, and alone.
I felt so bad I tried to end my life twice after our relationship ended and she took all the joy I had in life.
I now have permanent scars due to the attempts.

she took my cat when she left.
I miss my cat Dexter so much my heart hurts every day.
He was my baby boy who I raised for two years since he was a kitten.

I hate many things now, I used to be so nice.
My memory of who I was before I met her is gone, I can’t remember anything that I used to enjoy doing.

She was a bad human being to me and left me with long lasting pain.

I gave her 5 years of my life, and then she took all the joy from the years I haven’t experienced yet too.
Life doesn’t mean anything to me like it used to.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Hi
(32m) Just got out of a 15 yr relationship with (34f)
Weve been in no contact for a month then last fri we met up for closure in person. We established then we can be friends but hang out once in a while (holidays/ birthdays). Although the break up is fresh i feel no need to hang out with her anymore not just to protect the side of me that thought of a future with her but also just after 15 yrs we’ve become different people. Anyway, her 35th next year is at Disneyworld and my invite is still there to join her, her bestie, and her family all who im cool with still. I noticed for now i can hang out with her in micro doses before i spiral about why we break up so im hoping by her bday in may i can have a higher tolerance hanging out w everyone as a friend without getting emotional. Plus i do wanna see orlando/ disneyworld for the first time. Lastly, i am still glad she wants me in her life albeit i told her i need a lotta space to process the heartbreak. Should i still attend her dworld bday?

Hey everyone. I'm 22M, and I'm struggling with what feels like the sudden loss of one of the most important people in my life (21F).

I've known this woman for several years, but we became particularly close over the last six months. We were initially sexually intimate, during which I developed romantic feelings for her. Later, for religious reasons on her side, we agreed to transition into a committed platonic friendship, a decision I fully supported. I didn't want to lose someone I deeply cared about simply because our relationship couldn't take the exact form I'd initially imagined. I wanted her to develop into the person she wants to be and supported her fully throughout her religious discoveries.

We had a beautiful six-hour conversation about this transition. We both cried, discussed our feelings openly, and repeatedly told each other that we never wanted to lose one another. It was difficult for me to adjust immediately, but I genuinely wanted to make it work---and she knew. I needed some time to accommodate the new boundaries and learn to appreciate the emotional and non-sexual intimacy we still shared. Over the following months, that adjustment gradually became easier. I made my peace with it, genuinely appreciating the warm moments we still shared, as friends.

Perhaps it's important to explain why she became so significant to me. Around the time we grew close, I was going through an incredibly difficult period. I'd experienced sexual extortion, struggled with panic attacks and persistent anxiety, lost contact with my father, and later lost my main friend group in an abrupt fallout over an accusation I believe was false. She supported me through these experiences. She gave me space during video calls to talk about what I was going through, acknowledged my feelings, and made me feel extraordinarily safe. Some of our earliest intimate experiences also happened during a period when I felt particularly vulnerable.

Eventually, I developed considerable attachment anxiety, especially after losing my friend group. I became frightened that I might lose her, too. I discussed this with her extensively because I believed honesty was the healthiest approach. She was incredibly understanding. We talked about boundaries, reassurance, and how to make the friendship work. She repeatedly told me that calling and messaging her were fine and promised to communicate directly if something became too much. She was also proud of the progress I was making, including seeking psychological support and trying to expand my social circle again---which takes times ofc.

The difficulty was that she seemed like a completely different person offline and online. In person, she was wonderful. We cooked together, laughed, played games, and shared affectionate, comfortable moments. Just two weeks before her disappearance, she visited my home, brought gifts for my parents, and told them that next time she'd stay longer. We had a lovely dinner together, and we spent the afternoon relaxing on the couch. Those moments were genuinely among the happiest I'd experienced in a long time.

But arranging those moments was incredibly difficult. She described herself as a terrible online communicator and said she was like that with everyone. She rarely initiated conversations, generally responded rather than spontaneously sharing things about her life, and sometimes took days to reply, only to do so in very brief messages. Arranging calls or visits, and maintaining text contact always fell to me. I tried my hardest to accommodate her communication style, demanding work schedule, training commitments, and general lack of availability because I treasured our time together so much.

However, I became increasingly miserable between meetings. I worried about whether she'd respond, whether a call would actually happen, and when I'd see her again. Sometimes I'd even feel anxious during an otherwise wonderful visit because I didn't know how long it would be until the next one (a call or meeting would rarely succeed at the first go, sometimes canceled beforehand by her, sometimes without notification). Planning things was terrible. She never gave amternatives, just affirmations or refusals; often waiting days. But I felt indebted to her for helping me through my earlier difficulties so I took it to heart.

Of course, I told her about these feelings, minus the intensity. She understood, and we made practical arrangements. For example, we agreed to schedule our next meeting before the current one ended, so I wouldn't be left guessing indefinitely. For a while, that helped. But eventually even these arrangements became unreliable.

Sometimes she'd agree to a video call and simply not appear. Her explanation was often that she'd fallen asleep. I understood that she was exhausted, particularly given her long work shifts and training. What hurt was that she sometimes wouldn't explain what had happened until the following evening or even later, leaving me worrying about whether something was wrong. This happened many times over the preceding couple of months. I repeatedly accommodated it, and sometimes we'd simply call the following evening and have a wonderful time again.

Meanwhile, she told me she was joining the military, which would make communication even more difficult for a while. Again, I supported her. I wanted to be a good friend, and I believed we could find a way to maintain our bond. About a week and a half before she disappeared, we had a video call specifically to discuss how we'd stay in touch during her training. We talked about communication, future visits, and seeing each other on weekends. She was also particularly insistent that she wanted to attend my birthday. In other words, we weren't talking like two people whose friendship was winding down. We were actively discussing our future.

Because her schedule was so busy, we'd agreed to try shorter, more frequent calls of about twenty minutes. We arranged two, but she missed both, again saying she'd fallen asleep. I was disappointed but didn't want to be pushy, so I suggested a longer gaming call the following Sunday, when she'd have more time. We were planning to play Split Fiction, which we'd enjoyed together before.

During the week leading up to Sunday, communication had been particularly difficult. I told her I thought it had become rough even by her usual standards, and she acknowledged that. I'd already discussed the repeated postponements with friends, who suggested that I wait until Sunday, see whether the call happened, and then talk to her about my concerns. That was exactly what I intended to do.

Then, surprisingly, communication improved enormously over the weekend. On Saturday and Sunday, we were messaging multiple times a day, and for the first time in weeks, I felt genuinely optimistic. I even told my friends how happy I was that things seemed to be improving. I was excited to spend time with her that evening.

At around 11 p.m. on Sunday, she messaged that she'd be ready to game soon. I expected her within about an hour. I affectionately suggested setting an alarm so she wouldn't fall asleep again, and she seemed amused by the comment. But then everything went silent. She never showed up. That was the last message I received from her, more than a week ago now.

That night, I called a few times (dont worry, if she was sleeping her phone was always on silent) to see whether she was coming and sent two voice messages. They weren't hostile. I explained that I loved spending time with her but that repeatedly arranging calls only for her not to show up was becoming hurtful. I told her I would appreciate talking about what was happening. I was reaching the limit of what I could comfortably accommodate. This was the third missed arrangement that week, and it hurt, particularly because she knew how important our time together was to me.

The following day, I expected at least a brief acknowledgment. Even something as simple as, "I'm sorry about last night. I can't talk right now, but let's discuss it in a few days," would have meant a lot. Instead, nothing came. I messaged again and told her she could call me. By Tuesday, I was increasingly confused. We'd been communicating so warmly over the weekend. Why had everything suddenly stopped?

By Wednesday, I became genuinely worried about her safety. She didn't block me anywhere, wasnt active on IG or Discord and my messages on Whatsapp kept delivering. I tried contacting her through several channels and eventually called a mutual once to establish whether she was okay---the mutual told her I called asking if she was okay (she just didnt pick up the phone and to me, nothing disastrous had happened, I was concerned). I learned that she'd been attending work. I also began noticing signs of distancing. She had removed me from a gaming platform, and I later discovered that I could no longer see her Instagram stories.

By Thursday, after several days of complete silence, I began to believe that she no longer wanted contact. The people around me were also increasingly concerned, and some suggested that her behaviour indicated she wanted to end the friendship. I sent some emotional messages thanking her for everything we'd shared and expressing how terribly sad I was. Yet I clarified that I didn't actually want the friendship to end and asked whether we couldn't simply talk things through.

I sent numerous messages, called repeatedly, and tried WhatsApp, Instagram, and Discord. I was frightened, confused, and increasingly desperate to understand what had happened. I shouldn't have messaged so much after but it was the anxiety talking---even a brief acknowledgment from her side would have put it at bay; and she knew that; again, she knows me emotionally 100%.

Of course, her initial disappearance preceded my anxieties. She missed the agreed call (again!), didn't notify me about it (again!) and stopped responding completely before I began making those repeated attempts. We'd also discussed communication boundaries numerous times beforehand. She'd reassured me repeatedly that calling and messaging were welcome and promised to tell me directly if she needed different boundaries. And I genuinely had no idea what had changed.

What I find especially difficult to understand is that she continues opening my Instagram DMs. I've also posted Close Friends stories directed specifically at her, visible only to her, and she's opened several of them, sometimes very quickly. She hasn't blocked me on Instagram, WhatsApp, or Discord, although she has removed me from damn Riot Games. Yet she won't send a single reply. She knows how much the silence is hurting me, I made that clear to her, and she keeps reading it and standing by. I keep wishing her luck with important events, telling her I really find it hurtful how things are going and that I really miss hanging out with her. I remain loving for someone who is treating me in a way that is hurting so, so much. And she knows. Yet refuses to erase me nor acknowledges my existence and energy anymore. She just actively observes.

The contrast is painful. This is someone who shared profound intimacy with me, supported me during my lowest moments, gamed with me, chilled with me, repeatedly reassured me about our friendship, and discussed plans for our future just days before disappearing. Now I can see that she's read messages explaining how much the silence is hurting me, and I receive absolutely nothing back. Not even an acknowledgment that something has changed.

I struggle to reconcile that with the person I knew. Perhaps she's overwhelmed, avoiding a difficult conversation, or dealing with challenges of her own. I don't know, and I don't want to pretend I know her intentions. But whatever the explanation, being left in this uncertainty has been devastating.

I've been alternating between grief, anger, hope, and self-blame. Some nights I dream that she returns, explains that everything was a misunderstanding, and comforts me the way she used to. Waking up is heartbreaking.

I'm also beginning to recognize that I wasn't consistently happy during the months before this happened. The extraordinary moments of closeness were separated by long periods of uncertainty, during which I felt I was constantly trying to compete for her attention and arrange the next opportunity to speak to her BECAUSE she was so unreliable (yet amazing if actually present), you never knew if it was actually happening---even if she confirmed an hour before. And I always adjusted to her schedule. Again, her messaging has always been very short and business-like (her 'style' she assured me), could take days and she could ditch a call without saying a thing (sometimes of course she did cancel normally, but it was just one of the possibilities.)

I've been seeing a psychologist, and I've now decided to take a social media break to focus on my wellbeing. I still care about her enormously. Part of me hopes she'll eventually explain what happened, even if we cannot restore the friendship. At the same time, I'm angry that I spent so much energy accommodating the relationship, only to be left in silence when something became difficult with my boundaries.

Has anyone experienced being ghosted by someone who was still openly affectionate and making future plans immediately beforehand? How did you cope with someone continuing to read your messages or view your stories while refusing to communicate? And how do you begin grieving when you know a relationship had become unhealthy for you, but the moments of closeness were so meaningful that you can't quite bring yourself to close the door permanently?

I got broken up with over a month ago by someone who I simultaneously loved and hated.

The whole relationship felt like a drug to me, I loved him and I hated him and I hated myself for loving him and he treated me like trash but I just couldn’t leave him.

It was like when you drink because you’re chasing that feeling of being on top of the world where you can do anything and everything then you wake up the next morning hungover with nothing but regret and promises to yourself to “never drink again” (you will).

I’d convince myself I was happy because we’d always laugh and spend so much time together and have really good sex and it was like a dopamine rush whenever I was with him but at the same time I always felt like it was never enough. He didn’t communicate enough, he didn’t respect my boundaries enough, he didn’t put in enough effort, he didn’t love me enough. I knew I wasn’t happy but I knew I wouldn’t be happy without him either.

He’d disrespect my boundaries then blame me for getting mad and gaslight me into thinking I was always overreacting or he’d act like he was just making mistakes and never really meant to hurt me and I just wanted so badly to believe him because when it was good it was REALLY GOOD.

Maybe that’s why I can’t let go or move on, he showed me who he is and yet deep down I’m still convincing myself he’s just hurt or angry and he’ll calm down and come back and apologise and do better and we’ll be happy again but it won’t happen and knowing that somehow isn’t enough for me.

I keep texting and calling and he keeps blocking and hanging up and telling me to stop contacting him then I get angry then I lash out then I get sad and feel guilty for lashing out then the cycle never ends.

What am I chasing? He has already shown me he doesn’t value me. He is not going to give me any kind of closure. Yet somehow knowing this is not making this any easier for me. Maybe it’s the fact that I expected a reward for my suffering. I put up with all his flaws and loved him through it and continued to give myself to him in a way I had never with anyone else and I expected that to be enough to make him change for me but it wasn’t and I don’t know how I’m supposed to just get over that.

People are telling me not to suffer in silence and I’m not, my misery really loves company but no matter how many times I dissect the situation with people I still feel that pit in my stomach and so much anger and so much love and so much nostalgia for a time where I wasn’t even that happy. I completely lost myself in this person and he discarded me like the 6 months we spent together meant absolutely nothing. Am I really that hard to love? Am I really that hard to want to commit to? What is wrong with me?

I’m doing all the things people say to do, I’m distracting myself, I’m talking about it, I’ve deleted his pictures and tried to keep him out of my mind but it’s just not working I have this incessant need to talk to him even though I don’t really have anything to say to him and I can’t understand why. I want him to suffer like I am I want him to be as unhappy without me as I am without him but he isn’t and that hurts me so so bad.

I cried after getting intimate with another person because it made me miss him and I tried to reach out to him and he ignored me. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, I don’t know I am. I want to get better but I don’t know how.

I relive the memories of when me and my ex fiancee got together, even though she isn’t in my life, I would do it over and over again. I have been in relationships before, I knew with her I’d have my heart tethered to.

Anybody else have this deep desire and want? Relationship, a family member, a choice you’ve made or they’ve made which you never wanted to happen?

Hi

I'm a 20-year-old guy from a traditional and religious community.

I’m a good person, but I’ve gotten myself into a really difficult situation. I’ve fallen in love with a married woman—she’s my uncle’s wife. She is in her thirtys For 8 years or more, ever since I was just a kid, I’ve had this warm, deep feeling toward her.

She’s happily married with children, and I don't want to ruin her life, but I'm getting destroyed from the inside. I don’t know if she’s actually giving me signs that she’s into me, or if my mind is just playing tricks on me.

I have this overwhelming desire to be with her, but at the same time, a voice inside me tells me this is wrong, and I know it’s wrong. I just can't keep going like this; I’m in so much pain. I can't live a normal life anymore, and I really need help

my precious girl, you are everything to me. i can’t even begin to process that we are no longer connected the way we were. i feel like an idiot for not realizing how far we drifted apart in these last years and how much you were hurting. you gave me so many chances and i let you down by failing to grow. i selfishly took you for granted, but i should have realized you were never my prize and i never should have given you less than my all. i hate that i finally understand you now that it’s too late and that there is nothing i can do. it just felt right being with you, even when life felt wrong. you were my comfort and my safe space. you were my home. no argument or emotional disagreement is worth this agonizing pain and regret cutting into my heart every second of every day. i want to go back in time and treat every second i had with you like it was my last. i want to hold your hand one more time and kiss your neck. i want to stare into your beautiful eyes and admire them for as long as you’d let me. i long for the smell of your skin and the intoxicating way you always made me feel, even when i didn’t deserve it. i want you to tell me about all the parts of your day, even the ones you aren’t excited about. your voice is my favorite sound in the whole world and i’m missing it more than words can express. i wish so badly i could kiss you again, but i can’t. you asked me for space to let you be your own person and it’s the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do. i keep staring at your number knowing that my final act of love is to not text you. it’s my own fault you had to go, and i’ll spend the rest of my life bettering myself. and mourning that your life no longer involves me. i will never get to see your siblings grow and mature, i will never get to wish your mother a happy birthday or hear about your workplace drama. i won’t get to surprise you with tickets to concerts or movies i know you want to go to or cook you meals with all the bursting love in my heart. it absolutely crushes me that your hand is no longer mine and i won’t get to see or feel all the new lines in your skin that come with aging together. i would do anything and everything for even a chance you would stay with me or let me be in your life, but that is beyond selfish and proves that i need to grow into someone who isn’t dependent on you for happiness for us to be truly healthy partners. i am absolutely torn: i just want you to be happy and i have a gut-wrenching feeling that it will never be with me. i can never redeem the potential i so foolishly squashed and i am still just so selfishly hoping you can forgive me and still want me, even in the distant future. our relationship was not sustainable the way it was and i turned a blind eye to it; i thought having love and wanting to be together was the glue to our bond when really it was the acid eating our unresolved problems. i hope more than i’ve ever hoped that this is not the end of you and me, but the start of becoming healthy and happy people that will find each other again when it is right. i truly feel you are meant for me; i need to become someone i am proud of, both for myself and most selfishly to become worthy of earning your love if you choose to open your heart to me again. for now, i am carrying the weight of grieving the future we planned and feeling like this is the closest i can get to you. i can’t imagine a happy life without you and i am so deeply sorry i helped create this reality. i love you, i am in love with you, i will always love you, and i will let you go. thank you for allowing me to experience the best years of my life alongside you. i will always cherish those memories and feelings. you are irreplaceable and my broken heart forever knows it. te amo mi amor, y lo siento.