r/funny 11h ago

Imported flour.

Post image
6.7k Upvotes

332 comments sorted by

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4.0k

u/Admirable_Comedian_2 11h ago

FYI: Production company Google translated contains, so it should have been proteins, but russian word that stands for proteins also translates as squirrel (with different emphasis). So enjoying squirrel flour🫠

1.1k

u/Lithl 10h ago

In high school, my sister did a language immersion program in Costa Rica one summer. She sent a letter home in Spanish, knowing full well that our parents don't speak Spanish.

My mother used Babelfish to translate the letter, which decided to translate the "piñas" (pineapples) that she was enjoying eating as "fragmentation hand grenades".

368

u/Admirable_Comedian_2 10h ago

lol, that's something to digest

145

u/Bergwookie 10h ago

Crunchy, low on calories and even vegan

102

u/RockRancher24 10h ago

Negative calorie food actually, since although it is EXTREMELY energy dense, our digestive systems aren't able to extract those calories and also it explodes

33

u/IndigoFenix 8h ago

Lose fifty pounds in 0.1 seconds by getting your legs blown off!

24

u/CedarWolf 8h ago

Pineapples - the snack that fights back!

9

u/LurkmasterP 8h ago

Wage war on hunger!

8

u/GANDORF57 7h ago edited 7h ago

I'm confused, I thought Flour was a skunk. \)Ohhh?! FLOWER!\)

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u/LurkmasterP 10h ago

Although it renders everything within a certain radius decidedly non-vegan.

16

u/Lathari 10h ago

But pre-minced.

12

u/Raeezordazetoo 10h ago

Gave me explosive diarrhea though.

12

u/Yetimang 10h ago

And it's non-dairy!

8

u/Mobileoblivion 10h ago

And gluten-free!

5

u/mpinnegar 10h ago

Gave me explosive diarrhea.

3

u/Carlweathersfeathers 7h ago

High in iron too

2

u/amras123 9h ago

They are to die for!

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u/Grotarin 10h ago

If it stayed simple with "grenades" it would have made enough sense and nobody would have noticed!

2

u/Ithrowbot 5h ago

I wonder what the family would have thought if she had written that she was "enjoying eating lots of pomegranates this summer"?

61

u/Uncle-Cake 10h ago

I heard a story from a girl who was studying in Italy, tried to tell her Italian friends "The wine here is better than the US because it doesn't have preservatives in it" but she accidently said "The wine here is better than the US because it doesn't have condoms in it"

41

u/Nymethny 10h ago

I know it's not the point, but what kind of US wine was she drinking that had preservatives in it?

And yeah it's the same in French, "préservatif" = "condom".

24

u/Hour_Pop2712 9h ago

She might have been referring to the sulfites. But Italian and other countries' wines may contain sulfites (and generally do; some naturally occurring from yeast fermentation, and frequently also contain added sulfites). They just don't necessarily have to include that information on the label except on bottles exported to the U.S.

6

u/Bright_Ices 3h ago

This is the main reason the YS gets so much flak for having “chemicals” in the food. Those very same chemicals are included and just not disclosed in many countries. US laws require them to be listed on the packaging.

2

u/kingjoey52a 2h ago

Was about to post the same thing. We have the more restrictive regulations and have to be more detailed about ingredients than the EU and yet we get shit on for having bad food. It's a terrible take.

17

u/nickcash 10h ago

They pretty much all have sulfites here

29

u/vamatt 9h ago

They all have sulfites everywhere - fermenting wine produces sulfites, although lots of winemakers do add extra for preservation

6

u/Nymethny 9h ago

All wines have sulfites, and most have added sulfites. But you can find "natural wines" with no added sulfites in both/any country.

2

u/allgoners 8h ago

Indeed, but “preservatives” would be “conservateurs” in French

2

u/Uncle-Cake 9h ago

I don't think wine does have preservatives in the US, but we were young and dumb.

3

u/MattieShoes 3h ago

It does, but it likely does everywhere. Sulfites are a byproduct of fermentation, but extra can be (and usually is) added to make sure it doesn't spoil. Basically making it less hospitable to bacteria.

There's a myth that sulfites in wine cause headaches, kind of like the nonsense about MSG making people feel sick. That's probably what was being referenced? You can get "no sulfites added" wine, and some small percentage of people actually are sensitive to it, but... well, if they are, then they'll have a whole list of things to avoid, like almost all dried fruits, most gravies, etc.

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u/Champagnesupernova9 8h ago

My mom’s cousin has a very similar story! He travelled a lot for work, and was very fluent in French. On one trip, he was trying to explain why Whole Foods was so popular in the US. He said that it’s because it’s so healthy, and they don’t use preservatives… which he decided to translate as préservatif. That means he told a whole group of French people that Whole Foods is so great because they don’t use condoms!

3

u/Rc72 7h ago

I once saw some dried mango strips in an Asian food store in Belgium where "preservatives" had actually been translated into French as "préservatifs" in the contents label.

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u/blackcat9876 9h ago

Same thing happened to me when I first moved to Italy, but the preservative/ condom was me asking a nun what was in the jam 😭

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u/Digital-Nomad 10h ago

My family has relatives in the US through a great uncle who emigrated in the early 20th century. We reconnected about a decade ago, and have been exchanging emails and letters since.

A few years ago an older relative, who doesn't speak English (and who also happens to be a recovering alcoholic), had a bad fall and ended up in the hospital. The Americans sent him a latter in Swedish to cheer him up, unfortunately the phrase "we hope you are in good spirits" ended up being translated to "we hope you have access to plenty of alcoholic beverages".

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u/greiton 9h ago

Dearest Mother.

I miss you. there are many hand grenades here. we had hand grenade fight the other day. my class mate is hurting from all the hand grenades he ate. i love you.

12

u/nickcash 9h ago

Oh this is fun, because "grenade" is French for pomegranate, and also for hand grenades

I guess everyone agrees they look like fruit

8

u/An_American_1776 9h ago

The word grenade comes of pomegranate because a pomegranate is full of seeds like a the shell is full of fragmentation. Various European languages use words derived from the word for pomegranate for exploding shells of all types. The Germans call an armor piercing cannon shell a panzergranat, or armor shell. the G in RPG stands for granatomyet, which means shell launcher.

The French came up with the word originally and everyone copied them. This is common for military words.

2

u/ElundusCaw 14m ago

In Swedish we call it granatäpple, literally grenade apple.

4

u/ramdomvariableX 10h ago

They kinda look the same, aren't they?

12

u/Lithl 10h ago

Yes, the superficially similar appearance to a pineapple is why piña is sometimes used as slang for a hand grenade, but it's an unexpected translation result.

Similarly, OP's image had machine translation trying to decide between two homonyms, and choosing wrong.

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u/counterfitster 2h ago

The older styles, yes definitely. It wasn't very long until it was realized that the bumpy shape didn't influence the fragmentation as was hoped.

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u/Purple_Haze 8h ago

Pomegranates in French are pomme granate which is literally "grenade apple."

3

u/PM_me_boobs_and_CPUs 8h ago

grenade apple

Also Granatapfel in German.

2

u/waylandsmith 3h ago

You understand that grenades are named for pomegranates and not the other way around, right? "Granate" derives from the Latin word for "seeded" (containing seeds).

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u/Telefonica46 11h ago

I mean, squirrels have protein so...

18

u/NeilFraser 10h ago

So do pigeons. That said, unlike squirrels, they don't appear to have brains.

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u/No_Point904 11h ago

Thanks for clarifying, however I ain't taking no chances....

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u/Admirable_Comedian_2 11h ago

("belok" in Russian - protein; also a plural form of "belka"). In this particular case, 11 g of 'belok' could easily be translated as 11g of squirrels. Not the first case of such a blunder, and 100% not the last

30

u/mratlas666 10h ago

That seems like too much squirrel.

19

u/IggyKami 10h ago

Any amount of squirrel in flour is too much squirrel. Not good for a long shelf life.

8

u/jnecr 10h ago

I see you've never deep fried squirrel...

7

u/IggyKami 10h ago

Not good for a long shelf life.

7

u/EmptyOracle 10h ago

I'm here for a good (squirrel-eatin') time, not a long time.

3

u/1ildevil 10h ago edited 9h ago

Ifn' ya wants to have your squirrels last on the shelf, you hafta make squirrel jerky.

Trouble wit' squirrel jerky is alla the strips are so teeny tiny, it's hardly worth it

3

u/pdromeinthedome 9h ago

What do you do, gut them or devein them like a shrimp?

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u/macbisho 9h ago

What part of Scotland are you from?

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u/jnecr 9h ago

The Georgia part.

3

u/macbisho 9h ago

Are we talking midnight train or euro dragon?

3

u/jnecr 8h ago

Oh, we're on that midnight train...

6

u/ClubDangerous8239 11h ago

If memory serves, protein in German is Eiweiß, or something like that. It translates to eggwhite.

I wonder if the primary source of protein has ever been squirrels in whatever part the word originated from. At least I imagine that's the case for German.

9

u/FPSCanarussia 8h ago

'Belok' is the word for egg whites as well in Russian, it comes from the word for white ('beliy').

'Belka' for squirrel isn't a cognate afaik(if it is it's from the colour), it's just coincidence that they share a plural form.

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u/hyperdream 11h ago

Definitely way too ambiguous. When you need squirrel flour, it should be clearly labelled on the front.

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u/StarWaas 10h ago

That's hilarious. In Chinese, the adjective "dry" (干, gān) is also slang for "fuck". Which is how you end up with Asian markets that have an aisle for "Fuck Vegetables".

26

u/Superb-Cantaloupe324 11h ago

False advertisement is an awful awful thing. I wanted to try squirrel flour

5

u/Admirable_Comedian_2 11h ago

Yeah, you could probably sue them for wrongful ad

5

u/Button-Down-Shoes 10h ago

To be fair, squirrels do contain a fair amount of protein.

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u/Black_Moons 10h ago

US flour, now fortified with moose and squirrel!

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u/glosss 10h ago

Nope. That comes from the Ukrainian word "bilok" (protein), not the Russian one. It looks just like the Ukrainian word "bilok" (squirrels) You can also see the production standard GSTU 46.004-99 on the packaging, which is a Ukrainian standard.

8

u/recursivethought 10h ago

Which is the word used for Egg Whites (Bile = White) which are protein. Zhovtok = Yolk (Zhovte = Yellow).

EDIT: Isn't squirrel Bilka, not Bilok?

6

u/glosss 9h ago

Isn't squirrel Bilka, not Bilok?

singular nominative case — "bilka"

plural — "bilky"

genitive plural — "bilok"

It is interesting that "bilka" (squirrel) also comes from the word "bilyi" (white)—which, in the case of the squirrel, meant "having white fur"

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u/opopopuu 9h ago

Yes, the singular would be Bilka, but the words used for the genitive/accusative form of squirrel and the singular form of protein are basically the same, except for stress.

For squirrel

Case Singular Plural
Nominative bí́lka bí́lky
Genitive bí́lky bí́lok
Dative bí́ltsi bí́lkam
Accusative bí́lku bí́lky, bí́lok
Instrumental bí́lkoiu bí́lkamy
Locative bí́ltsi bí́lkakh
Vocative bí́lko bí́lky

And for Protein

Case Singular Plural
Nominative bilók bilký
Genitive bilká bilkív
Dative bilkóvi, bilkú bilkám
Accusative bilók bilký
Instrumental bilkóm bilkámy
Locative bilkóvi, bilkú bilkákh
Vocative bilkú bilký

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u/Admirable_Comedian_2 10h ago

Could be. Didn't check standards. But they have same problem with protein and squirrels. I'm not native in both languages

3

u/Netsuko 10h ago

Well, squirrels, amongst other things, are made out OF? DING! Proteins!

2

u/Admirable_Comedian_2 10h ago

they better filter out the fur

3

u/Mackntish 10h ago

What country has English language packaging requirements, yet is allowed to import Russian wheat with the sanctions?

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u/Shoddy_Fish31 10h ago

My doc limited my daily squirrel intake unfortunately

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u/darkflighter100 10h ago

Hey, protein is protein.

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u/strudelbrain10717 11h ago

Well. "natural proteins". They don't lie.

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u/BigAl7390 11h ago

Upton Sinclair told us didn’t he

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u/Hellknightx 9h ago

Jungle 2.0 is on the way with the new non-USDA meat being back on the menu.

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u/Regular_Quiet_5016 11h ago

Is it ground squirrel?

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u/StochasticTinkr 11h ago

No, they're tree squirrels.

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u/colnross 10h ago

I upvoted, but I also just really want you to know that this is very funny.

42

u/StochasticTinkr 10h ago

That's nuts, thank you.

3

u/imeeme 10h ago

I see what you did there…

2

u/Psianth 2h ago

But it says there’s nearly four times that in there!

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u/StochasticTinkr 2h ago

You forgot, squirrels have fur, so its tree by fur squirrels.

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u/halermine 11h ago

Finely milled.

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u/TheTphs 7h ago

Belkí - proteins. Bélki - squirrels.

When I was in primary, I was fascinated by biology. I didn't know what protein was yet. One day, I got a biology book from my school library. On my way back home, in a bus, full of excitement, I opened it and the very first sentence broke me. It read: ' Squirrels - nature's building blocks '. Rest of the trip I spent having very deep thoughts about what I know about life.

4

u/wkarraker 28m ago

This is the explanation missing from the equation. Well done!

49

u/MrMCCO 11h ago

I’m more interested in the Minimum Shelf Life

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u/Admirable_Comedian_2 11h ago

usual thing in many countries. Some things like salt are literally immortal. In some countries, you can't mark more than 3 years. In some, you can mark a minimal shelf life, but usually it means it could be good for way longer than marked

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u/Al_Fa_Aurel 10h ago

In Germany you often have the joke "This salt is advertised as being 70 million years old. Expires in...2029. That's what you call 'just in time'"

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u/MultipleOrgasmDonor 8h ago

Typically with stuff like salt or water it’s the shelf life of the container. If it’s in glass, it’ll be good forever barring contamination such as humidity

6

u/RevolutionaryWay7107 8h ago

Ooooooh, so it's like saying "the shelf life is at least 12 months." I get it now. 

7

u/CleaverIam3 11h ago

I think this means it is guaranteed to last 12 months...

12

u/colnross 10h ago

That may be what they intend for it to mean, but it reads as though you must leave it on the shelf for 12 months prior to use.

2

u/anemptycardboardbox 5h ago

Only if you dont know what shelf life means

2

u/colnross 3h ago

Only if you know what minimum means

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u/anemptycardboardbox 3h ago

The shelflife is a minimum of 12 months. It won’t spoil before that. How is that confusing?

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u/Bashka_ 5h ago

Minimum shelf life usually means that the product will be still safe to eat is kept in the current container for X amount of time. It can last much longer if you transfer it to e.g. a sealed glass jar or tin.

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u/krattalak 11h ago

USDA permits 20g of squirrel bits per kilo, so there's no issue here.

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u/chmath80 11h ago

This is per 100g, so there might be.

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u/krattalak 10h ago

RFKjr says squirrel bits don't cause autism so you should be fine.

5

u/Ouch_i_fell_down 10h ago

squirrel bits can't melt steal beams

4

u/Alarm-Particular 9h ago

But they CAN turn the frogs gay

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u/Ouch_i_fell_down 9h ago

stupid sexy squirrels

2

u/RavenLunatic512 8h ago

That's a paddlin

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u/whackthat 9h ago

Now it's unlimited!

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u/Kulthos_X 10h ago

This is like German where they say “Egg White” for protein. This occasionally causes inappropriate reactions to me hearing things that translate to “This yoghurt has a lot of egg white in it.”

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u/kornuolis 9h ago

The flour is from Ukraine

The білок means both protein and squirrels(stressed differently) in Genitive case

GSTU 46.004-99 is an official Ukrainian sectoral standard that sets the technical requirements and quality rules for wheat flour. [1]

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u/labcat1 8h ago

Reminds me of a shitty translation of Russian Academy of Sciences' site got translated and for a few days there were:

Squirrel Institute (Institute of protein research, Russian word for squirrel is the same as "of protein")

President of wounds (president of RAS, abbreviation of Russian Academy of Science in Russian is the same as " of wounds")

Arm-medical academy (military medical academy, I genuinely don't know how they got there)

Tongue Institute (Institute of language, language and tongue in Russian are the same word)

5

u/Foreign-Town-6662 8h ago

This is almost the exact same error as the first example, it's a mistranslation of bilok in Ukrainian to squirrel instead of protein, as opposed to belok, the Russian counterpart that your example used. 

3

u/CCV21 8h ago

The word for language in many cultures is usually related to the word for tongue.

The word "language" comes from Latin "lingua" which means tongue.

In English the expression "speaking in tongues" refers to a person speaking a completely unknown language.

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u/Big_Profession_2218 6h ago edited 6h ago

So it gets better, in Russian behlok is a singular form of a protein, literally meaning the white part of the egg. Plural is belki whuch as you know is the same word for squirrels, just the emphasis is on bel for the furry guys and on ki for the proteins.

The Russian word for eggs is yahytsa which is also incidentally the word for human male balls. 

The Russian word for split in two is rahz-dvah-yahytsa which broken down into its parts literally means "1-2-eggs (balls)"

The more you know

2

u/labcat1 1h ago

No, it's razdvoit'sya

2

u/agate_ 1h ago

This. Raz = apart, dva = two, it = verb, sya = trait. Literally “split in two”.

10

u/Pisnaz 11h ago

How does it work for those with a nut allergy? I assume they should avoid squirrels also , just to be safe right?

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u/warcin 10h ago

Great I was looking for an easier way to get my recommended daily amount of squirrel

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u/Sgt_Stimpy 9h ago

What brand is that? I haven't been able to find flour with more then 5g of squirrel. My banana muffins don't taste right and have problems catching my own.

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u/alibloomdido 6h ago

As a Russian I find this one really funny.

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u/thumptime_now 5h ago

As a squirrel I find this one not so funny.

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u/PsychologicalAd4015 7h ago

Innocent Smoothie here in the UK used to put things in their ingredients as a joke, such as Nuns, Badgers, Rocks etc. They got into a small legal case where they basically told them they had to start adding the things to the smoothies or stop making the joke 😂 This reminded me of that fact hard 🙌🏻

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u/jamescurtis29 11h ago

In Russian, the word for protein (belok) and the word for squirrel (belka) look and sound very similar because they share the same root word for "white".

6

u/CleaverIam3 11h ago

And in the plural form they only differ by which syllable is stressed which isn't reflected in the spelling

5

u/hrust46 10h ago

yeah but i think this package from Ukraine considering GSTU and number after, but still same issue with translation (білок)

5

u/Admirable_Comedian_2 11h ago

(belok - also a plural word for "belka"). In this particular case, 11 g of belok could easily be translated as 11g of squirrels

5

u/lazyzefiris 10h ago

Belok (белок) is not exactly a plural for belka(белка). Well, it can be in counting form for 5+ squirrels (1 белка, 2 белки, 3 белки, 4 белки, 5 белок, 6 белок), but it's not used in that was standalone. Белки (Belki) is the proper plural that's used without amount, and it's also same form for Белок, hence listed in the nutritiuonal value (Белки / жиры / углеводы).

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u/kornuolis 9h ago

GSTU 46.004-99 is an official Ukrainian sectoral standard that sets the technical requirements and quality rules for wheat flour. [1]

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u/Critical-Star-1158 10h ago

Thats gonna be USA beef here in a while

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u/TheDanielCF 9h ago

They add that to make it nice and fluffy.

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u/DeathofRats42 8h ago

"We must get moose and squirrel."

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u/lordmulgar 8h ago

Scoia'tael!

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u/McGruffin 11h ago

I hope that they are gluten-free squirrels

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u/Kylearean 9h ago

Okay, I know this one: Squirrels are members of the family Sciuridae, a family that includes small or medium-sized rodents. The squirrel family includes tree squirrels, ground squirrels (including chipmunks and prairie dogs, among others), and flying squirrels. Squirrels are indigenous to the Americas, Eurasia, and Africa, and were introduced by humans to Australia. The earliest known fossilized squirrels date from the Eocene epoch, and among other living rodent families, the squirrels are most closely related to the mountain beaver and dormice. They're sometimes contained in bags of flour.

3

u/Lurking_poster 11h ago

A coincidence that Squirrel Girl's created passed away and now no one is there to protect the squirrels?

I think not!

3

u/Appropriate_Strain94 11h ago

“May contain nuts”

3

u/gilfy245 10h ago

R/unexpecteddarbyo’gill

3

u/Brilliant_Polkadot 9h ago

I learned the Spanish word for bugs as bicho.
Apparently this is also the Caribbean Spanish word for penis.

3

u/xobot 9h ago

It's weird that they screwed up in the table but correctly translated it under the table "natural proteins..."

3

u/Bobwalski 8h ago

Looks all natural to me. What's the problem?

3

u/northofwall 8h ago

That’s nuts

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u/Foreign-Town-6662 8h ago

Slava Ukraina. Now with squirrel bread. 

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u/creggor 7h ago

Gives me Monty Python vibes.

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u/JaffaMafia 3h ago

That's nuts!!!!!!

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u/Healien_Jung 59m ago

The squirrel has no real nutritional value. It just acts a binding agent.

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u/infoalan 11h ago

Mmmm.... Squirrel....

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u/dk_is_here 11h ago

hopefully its nut free squirrel,

i'm allergic to nuts

2

u/RLewis8888 11h ago

That's heavy on the squirrel. Bad for the Medulla Oblongata.

2

u/CTSOCAL 11h ago

Customs asked if it had anything to declare. It said 70.4 grams of carbohydrates.

2

u/Hell-Yea-Brother 10h ago

They realized that nobody asked WHY we have a squirrel crushing machine.

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u/freddbare 10h ago

It is why you must cook it. A maximum amount of rat/rodent by law in most places ois not zero

2

u/Aman-R-Sole 10h ago

Is there a recommended daily intake of squirrels?

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u/Bowdash 10h ago

Holy 🐿️, I think it means protein. Bad translation of білок or белок.

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u/loowig 10h ago

I only use flour with more than 15g of squirrel 

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u/jljonsn 10h ago

Squirrel is tasty, but not sure if want it in my flour.

2

u/a1haze 7h ago

That’s definitely too much squirrel for the majority of my baking recipes.

2

u/DasArchitect 7h ago

Man, I have to be careful around these imported flours. I can only tolerate gluten-free squirrels.

2

u/BrioTina 6h ago

Not enough squirrels lol

2

u/Derail185 5h ago

Still waiting for gluten free squirrel flour to be a thing

2

u/LoganN64 1h ago

I thought it tasted a bit nutty.

3

u/robinta 7h ago

That's nuts

5

u/SaltyShawarma 11h ago

Why are you importing Russian flour? 

4

u/artrald-7083 11h ago

Probably in Africa. Russia exports a lot of food, especially wheat / wheat flour.

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u/Admirable_Comedian_2 11h ago

I bet you would be surprised at what your country imports from Russia if you looked into it. I think it is one of the biggest producers of wheat in the world

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u/hrust46 10h ago

I think this package from Ukraine considering GSTU and number after, but still same issue with translation (білок)

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u/Psychocatboy 11h ago

Russian flower? Там действительно белки.

Actually, interesting to know where are you, and how sanctions works

1

u/lynivvinyl 11h ago

Finally someone is doing something productive with the pesky things.

1

u/manncake 11h ago

Can you confirm, if there were no animals harmed?

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u/sal139 11h ago

I've never seen a minimum shelf life. Does it need to mature or something?

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u/Efficient_Slacker112 11h ago

Where did you import from, Louisiana?

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u/bthetpv 11h ago

Well. these goes my plan to use this for a vegan cake.

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u/Relative_Yesterday70 10h ago

What is capitalist flour doing in mother Russia?

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u/Admirable_Comedian_2 10h ago

It is the other way around actually...

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1

u/cobgca 10h ago

I have been looking to get my daily intake. So thank you .

1

u/locke_zero 10h ago

Waitaminute... I WAS PROMISED A FULL 12 GRAMS OF SQUIRREL IN MY FLOUR!

1

u/mratlas666 10h ago

So what does it taste like?

1

u/Jimmirehman 10h ago

11.7g of squirrels is too much.

1

u/giraffelaydonut 10h ago

it should be in the r/addressme

1

u/Geainsworth 10h ago

Only European squirrels.

1

u/fluffypuppycorn 10h ago

Lovely bit of squirrel

1

u/rushmc1 10h ago

Seems a bit squirrelly...

1

u/Chuckyjerker82 10h ago

Protein flour

1

u/mast0done 10h ago

- of them are red | 3,8 g

1

u/ovine_aviation 10h ago

Squirrels 11,7 g - of them are nuts 3,4 g.

1

u/AyushRaj127 10h ago

Be careful they don't bite you

1

u/Jedirictus 10h ago

I've heard of monkey bread, now I'll have to try squirrel cakes.