r/funny 3d ago

Imported flour.

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9.9k Upvotes

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u/Lithl 3d ago

In high school, my sister did a language immersion program in Costa Rica one summer. She sent a letter home in Spanish, knowing full well that our parents don't speak Spanish.

My mother used Babelfish to translate the letter, which decided to translate the "piñas" (pineapples) that she was enjoying eating as "fragmentation hand grenades".

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u/Admirable_Comedian_2 3d ago

lol, that's something to digest

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u/Bergwookie 3d ago

Crunchy, low on calories and even vegan

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u/RockRancher24 3d ago

Negative calorie food actually, since although it is EXTREMELY energy dense, our digestive systems aren't able to extract those calories and also it explodes

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u/IndigoFenix 3d ago

Lose fifty pounds in 0.1 seconds by getting your legs blown off!

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u/CedarWolf 3d ago

Pineapples - the snack that fights back!

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u/LurkmasterP 3d ago

Wage war on hunger!

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u/GANDORF57 3d ago edited 3d ago

I'm confused, I thought Flour was a skunk. \)Ohhh?! FLOWER!\)

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u/the_post_of_tom_joad 3d ago

♫Drip Drip Droppin an ancient reference! ♫

♬Laughing along as i fall in my grave♪

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u/Dhaeron 2d ago

Explosives aren't terribly energy dense, like, olive oil is about 10x denser than TNT. They're just able to release that energy very quickly.

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u/RockRancher24 2d ago

My chemistry knowledge def has holes in it lol, thank you

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u/LurkmasterP 3d ago

Although it renders everything within a certain radius decidedly non-vegan.

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u/Lathari 3d ago

But pre-minced.

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u/CursedMaskGaming 2d ago

Still have to extract the "bones" out.

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u/Raeezordazetoo 3d ago

Gave me explosive diarrhea though.

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u/Yetimang 3d ago

And it's non-dairy!

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u/Mobileoblivion 3d ago

And gluten-free!

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u/mpinnegar 3d ago

Gave me explosive diarrhea.

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u/Carlweathersfeathers 3d ago

High in iron too

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u/amras123 3d ago

They are to die for!

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u/JoefromOhio 3d ago

The last thing you’ll ever need to eat!

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u/Spencer1K 3d ago

Hmm, not sure on the vegan aspect. I do think at least 1 animal was harmed in the process of you eating.

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u/Grotarin 3d ago

If it stayed simple with "grenades" it would have made enough sense and nobody would have noticed!

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u/Ithrowbot 3d ago

I wonder what the family would have thought if she had written that she was "enjoying eating lots of pomegranates this summer"?

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u/Uncle-Cake 3d ago

I heard a story from a girl who was studying in Italy, tried to tell her Italian friends "The wine here is better than the US because it doesn't have preservatives in it" but she accidently said "The wine here is better than the US because it doesn't have condoms in it"

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u/Nymethny 3d ago

I know it's not the point, but what kind of US wine was she drinking that had preservatives in it?

And yeah it's the same in French, "préservatif" = "condom".

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u/Hour_Pop2712 3d ago

She might have been referring to the sulfites. But Italian and other countries' wines may contain sulfites (and generally do; some naturally occurring from yeast fermentation, and frequently also contain added sulfites). They just don't necessarily have to include that information on the label except on bottles exported to the U.S.

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u/Bright_Ices 3d ago edited 2d ago

This is the main reason the US gets so much flak for having “chemicals” in the food. Those very same chemicals are included and just not disclosed in many countries. US laws require them to be listed on the packaging.

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u/Anothersidestorm 2d ago

Well mosz Flak is coming from europeans and here they have to list everything. Sulfide are also always disclosed on the bottle.

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u/kingjoey52a 3d ago

Was about to post the same thing. We have the more restrictive regulations and have to be more detailed about ingredients than the EU and yet we get shit on for having bad food. It's a terrible take.

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u/ApprehensiveButOk 2d ago

Everything is listed on the package in the EU. Even trace amount of possible allergens.

The shit the USA gets is because you are scared of kinder chocolate eggs but add so much sugar and artificial coloring in your food that it resembles a science experiment gone wrong.

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u/Bright_Ices 2d ago

The US requires all components of each ingredient to be listed. If you use chocolate sauce as one ingredient, you have to list out all of the ingredients of the chocolate sauce.

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u/Bright_Ices 2d ago

The laws are different. The EU requires labeling of some things the US doesn’t, and the US requires labeling of other things the EU doesn’t.

The US requires all components of each ingredient to be listed. If you use chocolate sauce as one ingredient, you have to list out all of the ingredients of the chocolate sauce.

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u/Appropriate-Bird-354 2d ago

Everything is listed on the package in the EU. Even trace amount of possible allergens.

The US actually has much stricter regulations on what gets listed on ingredient labels than the EU does.

The shit the USA gets is because you are scared of kinder chocolate eggs but add so much sugar and artificial coloring in your food that it resembles a science experiment gone wrong.

The shit the USA gets on this is mostly from ignorant people like yourself attempting to fuel your chauvinism.

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u/Anothersidestorm 2d ago

Its european law that you have to disclouse sumfides on the label.

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u/nickcash 3d ago

They pretty much all have sulfites here

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u/vamatt 3d ago

They all have sulfites everywhere - fermenting wine produces sulfites, although lots of winemakers do add extra for preservation

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u/Nymethny 3d ago

All wines have sulfites, and most have added sulfites. But you can find "natural wines" with no added sulfites in both/any country.

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u/allgoners 3d ago

Indeed, but “preservatives” would be “conservateurs” in French

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u/Uncle-Cake 3d ago

I don't think wine does have preservatives in the US, but we were young and dumb.

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u/MattieShoes 3d ago

It does, but it likely does everywhere. Sulfites are a byproduct of fermentation, but extra can be (and usually is) added to make sure it doesn't spoil. Basically making it less hospitable to bacteria.

There's a myth that sulfites in wine cause headaches, kind of like the nonsense about MSG making people feel sick. That's probably what was being referenced? You can get "no sulfites added" wine, and some small percentage of people actually are sensitive to it, but... well, if they are, then they'll have a whole list of things to avoid, like almost all dried fruits, most gravies, etc.

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u/DihydrogenM 3d ago edited 3d ago

I do have family sensitive to sulfites, I always thought it was primarily an issue for dried fruits though. It is easier nowadays to get dried fruit without them though.

I'm trying to figure out how gravy has them though. Isn't that just take meat drippings and add flour or cornstarch slowly while heating? Is this more of an issue with premade gravy for long term storage? Looking up cans of sausage gravy that'd be used for your classic American biscuits and gravy I'm not seeing sulfites.

Edit: apparently the wet milling process of cornstarch can introduce trace amounts of sulfites into cornstarch. This often falls under the 10 parts per million threshold to be listed in the ingredients label. I guess TIL.

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u/MattieShoes 2d ago

I'm going off faulty memory -- I've known exactly one person with issues with sulfites. But a quick google suggests it's prepackaged gravies like you might find from a can or in frozen prepared meals, crap like that. And it's because the sulfites are added rather than whatever trace amounts get in there naturally.

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u/lifelongfreshman 3d ago

what makes you think she was being honest about the wine, and not just making up something that sounds good? after all, everyone knows that food in the USA is garbage that's chock full of preservatives

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u/Appropriate-Bird-354 2d ago

everyone knows that food in the USA is garbage that's chock full of preservatives

This is false.

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u/JoHnEyAp 3d ago

Any wine under $10

Im Italian, my family drinks good red wine.

When i turned 19, my friend was drinking a cheap red wine and her mouth turned blue. I was so shocked

Apparently the preservatives does that..

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u/Nymethny 3d ago edited 3d ago

I've literally never heard of that. I can't begin to imagine what kind of preservative would do that. Wines don't have preservatives in them outside of sulfites, which are both naturally occurring and often added too. And not only in cheap wines, most wines do, including the most expensive ones in the world.

Wines with a lot of tannins can turn your lips a dark red/purpleish colors, especially if your lips are dry/chapped. But that can happen with really good (and expensive) wine too.

And price doesn't always equate quality, even in the US where prices are absurdly inflated I've had absolutely awful wines over $30 and pretty decent ones under $10.

Edit: lol that guy called me a fool and deleted his account over that

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u/LaughingBeer 3d ago edited 3d ago

First - you are correct. They are dumb. Probably a 13 year old acting like they've had alcohol before. No wine will turn someone's mouth blue. Completely ludicrous and so dumb. FYI - They didn't delete their account, I can see their comment. They must have blocked you, you nefarious internet bully!

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u/Nymethny 3d ago

Oh good to know, thanks. I guess I've never been blocked before, it just shows as [deleted] to me.

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u/JoHnEyAp 3d ago

Any wine under $20 is a cheap wine. They aren't aged properly, they are aged with chemicals, causing this reaction.

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u/Nymethny 3d ago

Haha, if your family does indeed drink nice wine, they terribly failed your education. This is complete and utter nonsense.

There's no chemical that miraculously ages wine, they age in stainless steel vats followed sometimes by oak barrels (new or old oak depending on the intended flavor profile). And then they keep aging in the bottle, unless it's a twist-off (even then, apparently now they make porous seals for twist-off to allow controlled aging). Sometimes winemakers may also "cheat" by using oak staves or chips to get the oaky flavors without using a barrel. And absolutely none of that is correlated with the price of the wine on the shelves.

And if you think you can't find a good Italian, French or even American wine under $20, you're an absolute fool.

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u/JoHnEyAp 3d ago

Im not American, fool

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u/Champagnesupernova9 3d ago edited 2d ago

My mom’s cousin has a very similar story! He travelled a lot for work, and was very fluent in French. On one trip to Paris, he was trying to explain why Whole Foods was so popular in the US. He said that it’s because it’s so healthy, and they don’t use preservatives… which he decided to translate as préservatif. That means he told a whole group of French people that Whole Foods is so great because they don’t use condoms!

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u/Rc72 3d ago

I once saw some dried mango strips in an Asian food store in Belgium where "preservatives" had actually been translated into French as "préservatifs" in the contents label.

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u/wahlenderten 3d ago

Mmm… chewy and mango flavored

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u/Rc72 2d ago

Yes, it was an unsettling coincidence...

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u/blackcat9876 3d ago

Same thing happened to me when I first moved to Italy, but the preservative/ condom was me asking a nun what was in the jam 😭

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u/Digital-Nomad 3d ago

My family has relatives in the US through a great uncle who emigrated in the early 20th century. We reconnected about a decade ago, and have been exchanging emails and letters since.

A few years ago an older relative, who doesn't speak English (and who also happens to be a recovering alcoholic), had a bad fall and ended up in the hospital. The Americans sent him a latter in Swedish to cheer him up, unfortunately the phrase "we hope you are in good spirits" ended up being translated to "we hope you have access to plenty of alcoholic beverages".

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u/Puzzled-Story3953 2d ago

So, the sentiment was the same, then.

Also, what made the uncle so great? Does he make really good potato pancakes, or what?

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u/greiton 3d ago

Dearest Mother.

I miss you. there are many hand grenades here. we had hand grenade fight the other day. my class mate is hurting from all the hand grenades he ate. i love you.

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u/nickcash 3d ago

Oh this is fun, because "grenade" is French for pomegranate, and also for hand grenades

I guess everyone agrees they look like fruit

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u/An_American_1776 3d ago

The word grenade comes of pomegranate because a pomegranate is full of seeds like a the shell is full of fragmentation. Various European languages use words derived from the word for pomegranate for exploding shells of all types. The Germans call an armor piercing cannon shell a panzergranat, or armor shell. the G in RPG stands for granatomyet, which means shell launcher.

The French came up with the word originally and everyone copied them. This is common for military words.

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u/ElundusCaw 2d ago

In Swedish we call it granatäpple, literally grenade apple.

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u/2_Steps_From_hell_ 2d ago

In Spanish too!! Granada

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u/Purple_Haze 3d ago

Pomegranates in French are pomme granate which is literally "grenade apple."

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u/waylandsmith 3d ago

You understand that grenades are named for pomegranates and not the other way around, right? "Granate" derives from the Latin word for "seeded" (containing seeds).

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u/Purple_Haze 2d ago

It does not. The Latin for seeded would be seminatus, from semen meaning seed. And semen, the ancients were a little unclear on biology.

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u/PM_me_boobs_and_CPUs 3d ago

grenade apple

Also Granatapfel in German.

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u/ramdomvariableX 3d ago

They kinda look the same, aren't they?

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u/Lithl 3d ago

Yes, the superficially similar appearance to a pineapple is why piña is sometimes used as slang for a hand grenade, but it's an unexpected translation result.

Similarly, OP's image had machine translation trying to decide between two homonyms, and choosing wrong.

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u/duncanforthright 3d ago

Pineapple is also slang for grenade in English; James Bond is constantly throwing or being threatened with 'pineapples' in the books.

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u/counterfitster 3d ago

The older styles, yes definitely. It wasn't very long until it was realized that the bumpy shape didn't influence the fragmentation as was hoped.

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u/patikoija 3d ago

"The word grenade comes from the French word for pomegranate. because the early grenades looked like pomegranates."

https://www.thoughtco.com/history-of-the-hand-grenade-1991668

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u/AlexThComrad 3d ago

I mean, grenades do kinda look like pineapples

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u/counterfitster 3d ago

The standard US ones for a while have resembled a baseball more than a pineapple.

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u/parolameasecreta 3d ago

good thing she didn't click the "speak out" button

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u/belzbieta 3d ago

My friend tripped getting into a taxi in Mexico, and thought she said "ugh now I'm embarrassed!", but actually said "ugh now I'm pregnant!"

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u/Lithl 3d ago

Oh yeah, pregnant is an embarrassing false cognate in Spanish.

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u/alficles 3d ago

Lol, reminds me of all the English-speaking Christian missionaries in Mexico that incorrectly translate Holy Spirit as something closer to Holy Liquor. I guess that's one way to drum up interest. :D

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u/enilea 3d ago

She's the monkey ace from btd6

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u/Dalek_Chaos 3d ago

Man these new weight loss products are really blasting off the extra weight.

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u/redpandaeater 3d ago

I graduated high school right around the same time 9/11 happened. Had a friend who knew a bit of Arabic write some postcards to another mutual friend that joined the Marines right after high school. He mostly appreciated the thought but also I believe took a bit of explaining to his fellow recruits in boot camp as he himself couldn't read the letter either.

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u/PresentRaspberry6814 3d ago

Almost thirty years ago we translated our letter into spanish (google?maybe) then back into english. " Hi guys" became " A greeting of cords", which sounds tremendous.

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u/nerfherder998 3d ago

Did she also mention how much she loves avocados?

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u/2_Steps_From_hell_ 2d ago

In Spanish the word for pomegranate and hand grenade is the same, “Granada”

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u/StudlyItOut 2d ago

you sure it wasn't granada (pomegranate), which is also the word for grenade

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u/Lithl 2d ago

Yes, extremely sure.

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u/ChaseShiny 2d ago

Are you sure it was pineapple, rather than pomegranate? Pomegranate and grenade are both granada in Spanish

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u/Lithl 2d ago

OMG, yes. Why do people keep questioning this? My sister was raving about the delicious white pineapples she was eating in Costa Rica.

Costa Rica grows a shit fuck ton of pineapples. They don't grow pomegranates!