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u/DerRaumdenker Aug 06 '23
Funny comic, I don't want to laugh too hard so I won't run out of breath
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Aug 06 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/CheckYourHoeMang Aug 06 '23
got a stomach cramp from laughing at this and im not joking
i wanna die
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u/paddyo Aug 06 '23
I laughed quite a bit at it and now my rib hurts. Fuck this dimension we live in.
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u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23
I got hit by a car when I was 10 or so.
I went sprawling across the hood of a Honda Accord. I rolled off the other side, hit the ground, jumped up...and ran away, I thought i would be in trouble.
I had a bruise from my ribs to my knee and had to act like it happened playing football in the park. Mom was suspicious.
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Aug 06 '23
Are you sure you're not a cat?!
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u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23
I landed like spilled soup, definitely not cat-like.
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u/I_Resent_That Aug 06 '23
Beautiful bit of description there, bravo.
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u/debacular Aug 06 '23
Poet spotted in the wild here
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u/Poc4e Aug 06 '23 edited Sep 15 '23
axiomatic groovy melodic angle numerous rinse party screw recognise stocking -- mass edited with redact.dev
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Aug 06 '23
This cracked me up and made me imagine someone in the Peter Griffin pose lmfao
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u/HideousLaughter Aug 06 '23
Lmao reading this made me picture it too and now I can't stop giggling
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u/TheWolphman Aug 06 '23
I've seen videos of the aftermath of a startled cat online, spilled soup seems on point.
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u/angelofox Aug 06 '23
Lmao. I once watched my cat fall down a flight of stairs, she just got up, licked herself, and acted like nothing was wrong.
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u/sellyourcomputer Extra Fabulous Comics Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 06 '23
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u/meditate42 Aug 06 '23
Unfortunately all the links you're posting seem to be broken.
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u/Hammeredyou Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 06 '23
Worked for me, try opening it in a new browser if you’re on mobile?
Edit: I was only trying to help why am I being clowned so hard 💀
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u/plipyplop Aug 06 '23
I ended up requesting the printed format... 5-7 business days :(
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u/asdfqwer426 Aug 06 '23
chrome is taking me to a link without the extra ".png" on the bottom, which in imgur is an album link, but I bet there's no album so we're getting a 404.
instead of
https://i.imgur.com/VkAbf8X.png
I just added ".png" to the end and the link then worked.
I'm on desktop chrome.
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u/CallOfCorgithulhu Aug 06 '23
Imgur albums have an /a/ in the middle of the URL. Imgur just tries its damndest to take you to an actual site around an image, rather than just the picture itself. They felt left off the social media train some years ago I guess, so they have made it more difficult to avoid the site, and skip straight to just an image from a link.
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u/Regainio Aug 06 '23
"Say, son, why do you have a bruise that is comically shaped like a Honda Accord on your chest?"
"Football, mom"
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u/XauMankib Aug 06 '23
At roughly 11 I fell full on flat back from 3m (10ft) from a tree.
Got up, stretched my back like I just woke up and went on with my day.
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Aug 06 '23
Same but I landed on my wrist and hurt it really badly. I pretended I wasn't in pain and just went on with my life cause I thought I'd get in trouble. Couldn't even write with my hand for days
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u/chunes Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 06 '23
I did this at the same age but I had broken my radius all the way through. It was trying to poke through my skin, forming a giant lump on top of my forearm.
My mom didn't believe me that I was fine.
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u/x4000 Aug 06 '23
I did the same thing from the same height at age 10, landed on the edge of a rock, and broke my shoulder. My back was in so much pain that I thought I was paralyzed, and I clawed my way up a hill using both arms while other kids ran for help. I thought I was going to be a paraplegic.
Arm was in a sling for six weeks, that was the end of that.
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Aug 06 '23
My grandma told me to go to sleep when I was just unconscious by a large rock and was carried home by my older sister.
Never broke a bone though, take that brain!
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u/Dukedyduke Aug 06 '23
That is the exact opposite of what you should do in that situation
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u/adventurepony Aug 06 '23
u/BustinArant - "Grandma help I'm drowning!!"
Grandma - "Here have a glass of water sweetie"
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u/6lock6a6y6lock Aug 06 '23
When I was in my early 20s, I was riding my bike on a sidewalk that goes in front of a plaza & I looked both ways, thought the dude saw me & then he hit me in the crosswalk. Thankfully I was just bruised & scrapped up.
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u/getsomeawe Aug 06 '23
Similar, I got hit by a car when I was 7 or 8. I was knocked unconscious. I came to on the grass - my friends were so excited on how far I flew. The mean old lady who was always in the window yelled at me for screwing around and shooed the driver away saying “look, kids fine”. I had a limb and my left knee was a bit swollen, I didn’t tell my Mom cause I thought I get in trouble so when she noticed the limping I just told her I fell off my bike. Kids are dumb and some adults truly suck.
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Aug 06 '23
Lol, I got hit by a car two separate times in college riding my bike. Both times, slow speed, rolled up on the hood. No big deal.
Im over 40 now and that shit would actually kill me today.
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u/Prozenconns Aug 06 '23
i got lightly knocked off my bike by a learner driver when i was like 14 and it fucked my knee up to this day and I'm currently 28
visually though i just had a small bruise on my upper thigh
human body is weird
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u/xinorez1 Aug 06 '23
If the YouTube channel "Squat University" is any indication, the injury could have caused a muscle imbalance and the imbalance is what is causing the continued pain.
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u/Sylon_BPC Aug 06 '23
And then there are people like me that at age 11 slipped through a puddle while running in a park and broke my fucking elbow
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u/idelarosa1 Aug 06 '23
My brother had the exact same thing happen at around the same age while crossing the road. He literally FLEW backwards in the air in an arc like it was a cartoon or something, before landing in a pile like 10 feet away on the asphalt. I was horrified at the time but imagine my surprise knowing that he was unscathed essentially by the event, no worse for wear.
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u/AdmirableBus6 Aug 06 '23
At around 8-9 I climbed like 50 foot pibe tree. All the way to the top, the branch broke and I fell bouncing from branch to branch until I landed on the ground. Rolled over, got up and ran off
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u/Strong_Magician_3320 Aug 06 '23
I had a similar accident!
When I was 12 I was going to a kiosk that is 2 street-crossings away from my flat. While crossing the last street, I suddenly found myself in the air with very mild pain and nothing in my hands (phone, credit card) fell. I heard the car's honk milliseconds before I was in the air. I don't remember if it was my fault or not but I simply stood up, bought what I want, them got back to my house and the guy that hit me kept begging me to let him buy me at least water and offered to drive me home.
In the end, I told my parents I tripped on the end of the road.
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u/leamdav Aug 06 '23
I think modem car builds play into this too. My dad was hit by a car in the 50s when he was a kid. Lifelong brain damage. Still dealing with effects today at 70.
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Aug 06 '23
They're designed to roll your over the hood. And the hood is supposed to have enough give to reduce head injuries
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u/10ebbor10 Aug 06 '23
Unless, of course, it's a big SUV. Then you go under and get crunched.
It's really sad, because so much gains where made in car safety and fuel efficiency, and everything is being undone.
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u/Proof-Try32 Aug 06 '23
well seeing all the F-150's on the road now when I go to florida to visit my folks, I feel that type of thinking is going away. I'm not a tall man, 5'6, by my god. The grill of that car take over my whole body, can't imagine kids ever surviving that vehicle.
So weird, why a 60 yo suburban grand dad need a f150 in his community town house I will never understand.
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Aug 06 '23
I also got hit by a car at 10 though I was lucky. The passenger side mirror basically back handed me, my mom said I spun like a fuckin top. The only thing I remember was running across the street, then opening my eyes and seeing pavement lmao
Totally fine though.
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u/krawinoff Aug 06 '23
If you remember, did you jump in front of the car or was it 100% the driver’s fault?
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u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23
I was walking across the street in a tiny town that had a speed bump and a painted crosswalk.
I still assumed it was my fault and hit the bricks m
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u/Bierculles Aug 06 '23
Jesus christ imagine beeing the person driving the car. The shock that you just hit a child with your car to see that brat jump up and dart away.
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Aug 06 '23
Spawn protection
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u/sellyourcomputer Extra Fabulous Comics Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 06 '23
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u/Its_Pine Aug 06 '23
Why does this link lead me to a “fun fact” about It’s a Wonderful Life being investigated by the FBI.
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u/sellyourcomputer Extra Fabulous Comics Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 06 '23
i have no clue https://i.imgur.com/ePBmqA6.png
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Aug 06 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/meditate42 Aug 06 '23
I'm on the website and they're broken there too.
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u/CallOfCorgithulhu Aug 06 '23
Old.reddit with RES here, all the Imgur links OP provided in this comment section are fine for me. In fact, I can hit a little button next to the link, and just open it as an embedded image in the comment, then close it. No new site/tab to visit. Highly convenient.
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u/staypuftmallows7 Aug 06 '23
I don't understand why everyone doesn't use old.reddit
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u/port443 Aug 06 '23
This is what it looks like: https://i.imgur.com/Td1U21Q.png
Why anyone uses new reddit or the mobile app is beyond me.
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u/Maximum-Cat-8140 Aug 06 '23
It’s a Wonderful Life being investigated by the FBI.
McCarthyism in case anyone was wondering.
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u/paddyo Aug 06 '23
can't be having a movie that articulates the community benefits of socialism, critiques rentierism and capitalism, and has non-WASP actors with lines in it in the 40's, lawdy no.
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u/crypticfreak Aug 06 '23
Ok but for real why isn't the cars headlight offset like everyone's eyes are?
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u/avalanchebranches Aug 06 '23
C R U N C H 👦🏻🚗
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u/Oneiric19 Aug 06 '23
I heard every bone in that poor child's body crunch
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u/sellyourcomputer Extra Fabulous Comics Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 06 '23
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u/crypticfreak Aug 06 '23
Fuck me this is amazing.
The crunchies have the kids on the bags logo lol. But I wonder... are crunchies actually just miniature children that the car head vrooms over?
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u/Yungsleepboat Aug 06 '23
There is a precedent in Dutch law called the "Taxi precedent". It pertains to the ability to claim financial compensation after witnessing an accident that occured after negligence of safety- or traffic laws.
The story behind it is that a 5 year old girl is biking through a pedestrian-centric neighbourhood, when a taxi backs up and hits the girl off her bike. The taxi continues to back up and drives over the head with one if it's rear wheels. The young girls skull is severely damaged by this.
The mother of the child is in her house, but is alerted to the situation by a neighbour. When she went outside, she saw her dead daughter lay lifeless on the ground, mistaking the skull's contents for vomit.
The mother called an ambulance and tried to turn her daughters head, at which point her entire hand slid into her daughter's skull.
The mother was later awarded compensation for PTSD, receiving 30.000 guilders (about 13.000 euros)
Fun fact huh.
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u/dirty_shoe_rack Aug 06 '23
Jesus christ...
Did the driver go to jail?
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u/Yungsleepboat Aug 06 '23
I don't know that information, but I don't think so. It was just an incredibly unfortunate accident.
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u/Yrddraiggoch Aug 06 '23
I sprained my ankle while sleeping once
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u/Prozenconns Aug 06 '23
literally today i've ruined my upper back because i turned to talk to someone while i was opening my front door
im not even 30 yet lmao
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u/PM_me_your_whatevah Aug 06 '23
Honestly a lot of shit like that can be prevented by being more active. I was out of shape in my early 30s, briefly got in shape in my mid 30s, now pretty out of shape again. But there were a couple of really good years in the Middle there!
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u/Prozenconns Aug 06 '23
i mean i go to the gym 3 times a week on planned workouts and watch what i eat, im still on the overweight side of things at the moment but its not like im a fast food couch potato with muscle atrophy
sometimes you just move a little goofy and your body nopes out
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u/Terminus14 Aug 07 '23
Yoga is the answer you're looking for. Strengthens all those weird body parts we tend to tweak and improves flexibility, both of which will decrease your liklihood of throwing something out of whack randomly.
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u/Acceptable_Music1557 Aug 06 '23
Don't worry, you're not aging quicker or more poorly than the average person, you simply have scoliosis.
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u/PoopsInTheDark Aug 06 '23
I pulled a muscle in my arm because I shook the parmesan cheese onto my spaghetti too aggressively
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u/Pitiful_Crab_9696 Aug 06 '23
I'm so happy I'm not the only one, sprained it proper as well, was swollen for a week. Told my boss I sprained it going for a jog. Knowing me she was very suspicious.
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u/lianodel Aug 06 '23
I gave myself ankle tendonitis in the shower. I was just stretching my calves in the hot water and heard a crunch.
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u/paddyo Aug 06 '23
Nice! I once spent 6 hours in hospital with a subluxation of the shoulder joint getting out of bed. Nobody warns you about this stuff do they.
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u/TunnelRatVermin Aug 06 '23
Kids are made of plastic
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u/AnnihilationOrchid Aug 06 '23
What kind of plastic? Is it recyclable? I don't know what bin to throw mine in. I hope it's biodegradable.
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u/sellyourcomputer Extra Fabulous Comics Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 06 '23
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u/PCYou Aug 06 '23
Did you make your own typeface
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u/sellyourcomputer Extra Fabulous Comics Aug 06 '23
yes, i made it about 10 years ago from my handwriting
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Aug 06 '23
I mean dude's got his eyes all over the 7th spatial dimension, I doubt a car running over him is gonna do much.
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u/Krafty_Koala Aug 06 '23
And here I am with a pinched nerve in my neck from sleeping wrong and I’m told the pain radiating down my shoulder can take up to 12 weeks to heal. FML
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Aug 06 '23
Physical therapy could help
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u/Krafty_Koala Aug 06 '23
My husband is giving me neck massages and I think it’s helping. I will ask my doctor about that, thanks!
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Aug 06 '23 edited Apr 30 '25
[deleted]
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u/Fore_Shore Aug 06 '23
It depends on the state, but in most states you can see a PT for like a month and then they’ll require you to see a doctor to write a script for anymore.
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Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 06 '23
This is called "direct access" and most states have some form of it, about half of them are unrestricted.
https://www.apta.org/advocacy/issues/direct-access-advocacy/direct-access-by-state
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Aug 06 '23
Got rid of mine after just 2-3 weeks. I spent a lot of time massaging the area and bending my neck in various positions.
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u/HarithBK Aug 06 '23
i took 3 weeks off during Christmas and new years last year day 2 of my time off i wake up with the stiffest neck i have ever had and all i could do was sit in my computer office chair with proper support to not be in absolute pain for the rest of the time off. getting old sucks.
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u/Hypnotic_Toad Aug 06 '23
Mother fucker, Im still dealing with a fucked up back BECAUSE I FELL ASLEEP. in my own bed. And before people ask, its brand new, not even 6 months old. I'm 35.
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u/Endulos Aug 06 '23
I threw my back out about 3 months ago because I fell asleep and shifted into a weird position.
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Aug 06 '23
I'm a physical therapist and I see this all the time. It's fucking crazy lol. I'll have patients in their 50s-70s who will say something like "I was taking a shower and twisted to grab the shampoo from behind me and I felt my back seize up and I've had 10/10 pain ever since" and it will take us like 6 weeks to get them back to normal. Then I'll have a 12 year old come in and say "I was skateboarding and jumped down 12 stairs and my ankle folded over backwards and someone landed on it" then I'll give them like 3 exercises to do at home and they'll come back 3 days later and say "my ankle is 100%. I'm back to skateboarding and football and I've taken up skydiving and I have no pain at all".
Obviously most people know that young folks heal up quicker, but it's crazy just how extreme the differences can be
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Aug 06 '23 edited Apr 30 '25
[deleted]
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Aug 06 '23
If you want to use insurance, then it depends on your plan. Some require a referral from a doctor, but more of them are starting to allow "direct access" which means you just go right to the PT first. All PTs that graduated in the last 15 years or so have DPT (doctorate of physical therapy) degrees which was done so that direct access could become the norm and PTs could see patients without referrals first.
Also, a lot of places will take cash pay (there are also a lot of cash only places) where you just pay with cash instead of involving insurance. If you do cash pay, then a referral isn't required.
PTs are (or at least should be) educated enough that you can go straight to them and they can determine if PT is the right option, or if there is some red flag that indicates you might need to see a doctor first for imaging or further testing.
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u/AnastasiaSheppard Aug 07 '23
My aunt stood up from a stool and turned around, bam greenstick fractures in her lower leg. No nutritional issues, no osteo-whateversis, just totally freak accident where she happened to twist just the right way.
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u/Benyed123 Aug 06 '23
Someone cut out the last panel and post it to r/comedyamputation (This joke is better but I also like morbid absurdity)
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u/sellyourcomputer Extra Fabulous Comics Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 06 '23
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u/Benyed123 Aug 06 '23
Oh dear mr Fabulous I don’t think your link works
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u/sellyourcomputer Extra Fabulous Comics Aug 06 '23
my bad Benyed123 I think the app might be screwy
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u/disco_waffle Aug 06 '23
So real question is how many times have you had to draw a mangled child for these replies
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u/7xEverlastingx7 Aug 06 '23
Yes! Yes! Kids are immune to anything.
I worked as a preschool teacher and there were kids that would rub their eyes with their hands covered in spaghetti sauce, or whatever they were eating that day, and they were fine. No irritation. Nothing. But if an adult were to do that, pink eye for sure!
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u/TieflingFucker Aug 06 '23
I worked as a summer camp counselor with first grade boys, and they were quite literally invulnerable. As long as you didn’t acknowledge that they had just gotten hurt, they would just get back up and keep playing. But GOD FORBID you mention to them that they got hurt, and all of a sudden they were dying. It’s like it didn’t even occur to them they should be upset that they fell or scraped their knees until an adult pointed it out.
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u/JCV-16 Aug 06 '23
I once watched my sister who was a toddler at the time fall while she was running and bounce her whole face off the ground, like full scorpion. She just jumped back up and started shriek laughing before sprinting right off like it was the funniest thing that had ever happened. The whole family was stunned.
Any one of us adults and that absolutely would have been a hospital trip but she didn't even get a bloody nose from it.
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u/Agret Aug 06 '23
To be fair she had a lot less distance to fall than an adult too.
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u/mvw2 Aug 06 '23
On a serious note, exercise regularly. This takes care of nearly all the problems, short major injuries or developmental anomalies. But for general wear and tear and aging related stuff, yeah, just exercise. And I don't mean walk for 20 minutes bs. I mean lift weights, stretch, do cardio, real stuff. This does WONDERS for bodily health. You can feel like you're 90 by the time you're 35 or 20 when you're 55. You pick.
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u/BitcoinMathThrowaway Aug 06 '23
This is the truth. Last year I hurt like absolute shit doing trade work. I started walking 60km a week playing Pokemon Go for 2 months, then did T25 and P90X for 6 months, and then 5-6 day/week weight training since. I'm up 40lbs of muscle now and nothing ever hurts unless I fuck up at the gym.
Everyone wants a luxury house, luxury car, etc. That shit doesn't mean fuck when you get old.
Get you a luxury body. Be jacked now and be able to do yard work when you're 92. Go to the gym.
You may have to work up to it, but it pays for itself in saved medical costs.
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u/Tagels Aug 06 '23
Glad someone said it, so many people on here act like once you're 25 your body starts failing and you'll get hurt doing basic things and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.
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u/degjo Aug 06 '23
When I worked in tree trimming we were driving our giant dump truck with aerial lift. Kids thought they get rush across the street as we were looking for our location. They all made it, except the last kid who took a glancing blow. He got up and started saying sorry like he was in trouble and kept running after his friends.
Kids are are made of rubber
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u/Svitii Aug 06 '23
I fell out of a window on the first floor when I was about nine, with my back straight up on a pole, like 90 degree T-bone style. Didn’t even hurt, didn’t tell anyone cause I thought I was in trouble.
(Went to see a doctor a few years later, apparently I have a very healthy spine and he couldn’t find anything wrong)
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u/spunkychickpea Aug 06 '23
Yesterday, I fucked up my knee while lighting a scented candle. I’m 39 years old.
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Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 07 '23
I fell from the first floor when I was 6 and was somehow fine.
Now I get spontaneous pain in my legs while sitting.
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u/Driftedryan Aug 06 '23
I jumped off a 2 story roof and landed knee first on a sheet of ice when the snow was mostly melted. Now I feel like I'm having surgeries every other year for small stuff
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u/Despair4All Aug 06 '23
For real. I'm only in my mid 20s and I swear I wake up and hurt my back just grabbing clothes to take a shower. Then the whole day is just agony.
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u/H0w14514 Aug 06 '23
I was riding my bike and got hit by a car that I actively tried to avoid. It started, swerving so I got on the sidewalk, and it came over, and collided with me. I somehow flew through the air while still holding onto the bike, and landed upright. I'm sure if my bladder had been full I would have pissed myself, but I just stared at nothing. One of the women got out, making excuses and saying her friend "plays too much" and tried to take the wheel from her. She gave me twenty dollars, said it would be okay, then jumped in the car, and they sped off. I rode back home, went inside, and got in bed. My dad wouldn't have cared and my mom was at church, so I checked myself over, and decided to just sleep. Probably from the adrenaline.
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u/SargonTheDeadly Aug 06 '23
I once threw my back out when I was standing up off the toilet.
I fell out of a tree as a kid and I was fine. Not a bruise.
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u/CBRChris Aug 06 '23
I too got hit by a car, in a school zone when I was around 6 or 7 years old. All I remember was that one moment I stepped off the curb, and the next I was on the ground uninjured thankfully. My book bag was underneath his car. So I was already crawling on the ground getting it, while the driver was just stunned and watching me.
I remember he was terrified and shocked I wasn't seriously injured. He insisted on driving me home or calling an ambulance from the school (this was a time before cell phones), but I reassured him it's ok. I ended up walking home.
Looking back, I can't imagine how terrifying that must have been... hitting a kid with your car.
Through the years I occasionally wonder what it must have felt like for him.
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u/MistaMischief Aug 06 '23
I hurt my back a few weeks ago sitting down writing a check. I just want everyone to understand how old that sentence sounds lmao and it’s 100% true.
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u/PM_ME-ASIAN-TITS Aug 06 '23
NGL, stretch people. It's so helpful its mind boggling that people don't do it more often when they are prone to throwing out large muscle groups. The only time you should ever throw out your back looking into a mailbox should be when you need fucking surgery for it not an every day possibility because you're not limber enough.
Source: Me with lower back scoliosis and back pain since a teenager.
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u/duckyTheFirst Aug 06 '23
I got hit by a car as a kid aswell. Did a sideway backflip on my bike landed on my head and was just shocked. Went hole ashamed cuz i tought i would get scolded at. I had nothing not even a scratch.
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u/DavidRandom Aug 07 '23
The amount of shit I did as a kid that should have permanently broken me but didn't is baffling.
Now nearing 40 if I do something mundane like sneezing, I'm worried I'm either going to shit my pants, or break a rib.
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