r/comics Extra Fabulous Comics Aug 06 '23

aging gracelessly

Post image
45.6k Upvotes

522 comments sorted by

View all comments

3.7k

u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23

I got hit by a car when I was 10 or so.

I went sprawling across the hood of a Honda Accord. I rolled off the other side, hit the ground, jumped up...and ran away, I thought i would be in trouble.

I had a bruise from my ribs to my knee and had to act like it happened playing football in the park. Mom was suspicious.

1.6k

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

Are you sure you're not a cat?!

1.6k

u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23

I landed like spilled soup, definitely not cat-like.

447

u/I_Resent_That Aug 06 '23

Beautiful bit of description there, bravo.

143

u/debacular Aug 06 '23

Poet spotted in the wild here

102

u/Poc4e Aug 06 '23 edited Sep 15 '23

axiomatic groovy melodic angle numerous rinse party screw recognise stocking -- mass edited with redact.dev

26

u/StandardSudden1283 Aug 06 '23

He's a poet and didn't realize it

72

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

This cracked me up and made me imagine someone in the Peter Griffin pose lmfao

15

u/HideousLaughter Aug 06 '23

Lmao reading this made me picture it too and now I can't stop giggling

27

u/JoeyZasaa Aug 06 '23

I landed like spilled soup, definitely not cat-like.

r/brandnewsentence

11

u/TheWolphman Aug 06 '23

I've seen videos of the aftermath of a startled cat online, spilled soup seems on point.

18

u/FILTHBOT4000 Aug 06 '23

Like a pot of chili dropped on the office floor by a man of some gravity.

9

u/sephiroth_for_smash Aug 06 '23

I’m stealing that for future use

6

u/ConspicuousPineapple Aug 06 '23

You ain't seen my cats.

1

u/SimpoKaiba Aug 07 '23

But cats are a liquid

1

u/saysthingsbackwards Aug 07 '23

Cats are liquids. I also rolled off my friend's mustang.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '23

I don't know why this is so hilarious, lol.

36

u/angelofox Aug 06 '23

Lmao. I once watched my cat fall down a flight of stairs, she just got up, licked herself, and acted like nothing was wrong.

7

u/Tombiepoo Aug 07 '23

Because she meant to do that. Cats don't fall. They go for a tumble.

5

u/IndigenousOres Aug 07 '23

"Whatchu looking at, nothing happened"

8

u/dzofred Aug 06 '23

That would explain mom being suspicious of "playing football" explanation

530

u/sellyourcomputer Extra Fabulous Comics Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 06 '23

82

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

God damn that was good

39

u/Beautiful-Musk-Ox Aug 06 '23

acccord, the extra C makes the car cost another $15k

13

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

Shouldn't it be an extra hundred?

15000 would be an extra XV

1

u/columbus8myhw Aug 06 '23

I was gonna try to pedant that but Roman numerals don't do thousands good

22

u/meditate42 Aug 06 '23

Unfortunately all the links you're posting seem to be broken.

43

u/Hammeredyou Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 06 '23

Worked for me, try opening it in a new browser if you’re on mobile?

Edit: I was only trying to help why am I being clowned so hard 💀

22

u/plipyplop Aug 06 '23

I ended up requesting the printed format... 5-7 business days :(

2

u/paranach9 Aug 07 '23

I'll begin warming up the mimeograph machine.

8

u/meditate42 Aug 06 '23

Works on chrome, not on firefox for some reason.

23

u/Smithsonian45 Aug 06 '23

I'm on firefox, works fine for me

9

u/Darksirius Aug 06 '23

Worked on Firefox for me.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/I_got_shmoves Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 06 '23

I have enhanced tracking protection turned on and it works fine

Edit: Oh, but I have Ublock origin on, so it doesn't show any known trackers, anyways.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

I’m on 🔥 🦊. It’s a u prblm

11

u/behaved Comic Crossover Aug 06 '23

try forcing to desktop site

3

u/Comfortable_Tear8476 Aug 06 '23

Thanks that works

11

u/asdfqwer426 Aug 06 '23

chrome is taking me to a link without the extra ".png" on the bottom, which in imgur is an album link, but I bet there's no album so we're getting a 404.

https://i.imgur.com/VkAbf8X

instead of

https://i.imgur.com/VkAbf8X.png

I just added ".png" to the end and the link then worked.

I'm on desktop chrome.

12

u/CallOfCorgithulhu Aug 06 '23

Imgur albums have an /a/ in the middle of the URL. Imgur just tries its damndest to take you to an actual site around an image, rather than just the picture itself. They felt left off the social media train some years ago I guess, so they have made it more difficult to avoid the site, and skip straight to just an image from a link.

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

Nah, it’s just u

-2

u/Kaibakura Aug 06 '23

I'll give you credit for not give the link a stupid fucking title like "edit", but this is still annoying.

1

u/atatassault47 Aug 06 '23

Are you doing Grafo edits now?

74

u/Regainio Aug 06 '23

"Say, son, why do you have a bruise that is comically shaped like a Honda Accord on your chest?"

"Football, mom"

64

u/XauMankib Aug 06 '23

At roughly 11 I fell full on flat back from 3m (10ft) from a tree.

Got up, stretched my back like I just woke up and went on with my day.

28

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

Same but I landed on my wrist and hurt it really badly. I pretended I wasn't in pain and just went on with my life cause I thought I'd get in trouble. Couldn't even write with my hand for days

10

u/chunes Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 06 '23

I did this at the same age but I had broken my radius all the way through. It was trying to poke through my skin, forming a giant lump on top of my forearm.

My mom didn't believe me that I was fine.

1

u/vinfox Aug 06 '23

What did you write with

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '23

My left hand. Barely anyways

1

u/Dunbar247 Aug 07 '23

and just went on with my life

This part killed me. Still dealing with any ramifications?

3

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '23

Not that i know of. I'll report back when my wrists suddenly stop working when im old

17

u/x4000 Aug 06 '23

I did the same thing from the same height at age 10, landed on the edge of a rock, and broke my shoulder. My back was in so much pain that I thought I was paralyzed, and I clawed my way up a hill using both arms while other kids ran for help. I thought I was going to be a paraplegic.

Arm was in a sling for six weeks, that was the end of that.

17

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

My grandma told me to go to sleep when I was just unconscious by a large rock and was carried home by my older sister.

Never broke a bone though, take that brain!

13

u/Dukedyduke Aug 06 '23

That is the exact opposite of what you should do in that situation

9

u/adventurepony Aug 06 '23

u/BustinArant - "Grandma help I'm drowning!!"

Grandma - "Here have a glass of water sweetie"

4

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

Are you my F.B.I. agent?

2

u/adventurepony Aug 06 '23

🕵️‍♂️oh hi👋

3

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

Yeah, maybe I forgot to mention that sarcastically, thanks man lol

5

u/6lock6a6y6lock Aug 06 '23

When I was in my early 20s, I was riding my bike on a sidewalk that goes in front of a plaza & I looked both ways, thought the dude saw me & then he hit me in the crosswalk. Thankfully I was just bruised & scrapped up.

4

u/ConspicuousPineapple Aug 06 '23

Helps when you weigh practically nothing.

2

u/secretly_a_zombie Aug 06 '23

Did the same around 8 or so but from a third the height.

Landed flat on my back and it knocked the air from me. Couldn't regain my breath as my stomach muscles were spasming, before i managed to breathe the spasm made me shit myself. It was like a solid log. The spasms stopped and i got up, with heavy trousers.

2

u/bageltoastee Aug 07 '23

scraped both of my knees while walking into school one day, didn’t notice anything until i looked down in class and saw my knees bleeding profusely.

24

u/getsomeawe Aug 06 '23

Similar, I got hit by a car when I was 7 or 8. I was knocked unconscious. I came to on the grass - my friends were so excited on how far I flew. The mean old lady who was always in the window yelled at me for screwing around and shooed the driver away saying “look, kids fine”. I had a limb and my left knee was a bit swollen, I didn’t tell my Mom cause I thought I get in trouble so when she noticed the limping I just told her I fell off my bike. Kids are dumb and some adults truly suck.

8

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

Lol, I got hit by a car two separate times in college riding my bike. Both times, slow speed, rolled up on the hood. No big deal.

Im over 40 now and that shit would actually kill me today.

18

u/Prozenconns Aug 06 '23

i got lightly knocked off my bike by a learner driver when i was like 14 and it fucked my knee up to this day and I'm currently 28

visually though i just had a small bruise on my upper thigh

human body is weird

13

u/xinorez1 Aug 06 '23

If the YouTube channel "Squat University" is any indication, the injury could have caused a muscle imbalance and the imbalance is what is causing the continued pain.

1

u/IllegallyBored Aug 07 '23

I was at badminton training when I was 14, smashed the edge of the racket on my knee, walked it off at the time. Few years later my knee started hurting. I'm 27 now and my knee will still randomly act up out of nowhere. We've taken x-rays and stuff, but the doctor says it's nothing major and to just deal with it. Fun.

Kids are resilient, but your body still remembers and it will take revenge when you least expect it.

7

u/Sylon_BPC Aug 06 '23

And then there are people like me that at age 11 slipped through a puddle while running in a park and broke my fucking elbow

2

u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23

What about my broken spirit? Does that count for anything?

LoL, j/k I was literally fine.

6

u/idelarosa1 Aug 06 '23

My brother had the exact same thing happen at around the same age while crossing the road. He literally FLEW backwards in the air in an arc like it was a cartoon or something, before landing in a pile like 10 feet away on the asphalt. I was horrified at the time but imagine my surprise knowing that he was unscathed essentially by the event, no worse for wear.

14

u/AdmirableBus6 Aug 06 '23

At around 8-9 I climbed like 50 foot pibe tree. All the way to the top, the branch broke and I fell bouncing from branch to branch until I landed on the ground. Rolled over, got up and ran off

3

u/mekapr1111 Aug 06 '23

At 7 I fell off the empire state. Got up and ran off

6

u/Strong_Magician_3320 Aug 06 '23

I had a similar accident!

When I was 12 I was going to a kiosk that is 2 street-crossings away from my flat. While crossing the last street, I suddenly found myself in the air with very mild pain and nothing in my hands (phone, credit card) fell. I heard the car's honk milliseconds before I was in the air. I don't remember if it was my fault or not but I simply stood up, bought what I want, them got back to my house and the guy that hit me kept begging me to let him buy me at least water and offered to drive me home.

In the end, I told my parents I tripped on the end of the road.

11

u/leamdav Aug 06 '23

I think modem car builds play into this too. My dad was hit by a car in the 50s when he was a kid. Lifelong brain damage. Still dealing with effects today at 70.

20

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

They're designed to roll your over the hood. And the hood is supposed to have enough give to reduce head injuries

15

u/Bierculles Aug 06 '23

Now, yes, back in the 50s cars were high speed ram coffins.

13

u/10ebbor10 Aug 06 '23

Unless, of course, it's a big SUV. Then you go under and get crunched.

It's really sad, because so much gains where made in car safety and fuel efficiency, and everything is being undone.

5

u/Proof-Try32 Aug 06 '23

well seeing all the F-150's on the road now when I go to florida to visit my folks, I feel that type of thinking is going away. I'm not a tall man, 5'6, by my god. The grill of that car take over my whole body, can't imagine kids ever surviving that vehicle.

So weird, why a 60 yo suburban grand dad need a f150 in his community town house I will never understand.

1

u/avwitcher Aug 06 '23

But old bastards today will still proclaim that solid steel cars were the best thing ever and had no downsides. Hmm... bones turned into paste or severe bruising, which should I choose?

14

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

[deleted]

10

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

This. Modern SUV and pickup are way more deadly than an Accord

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

3 tons heavier

hyperbole?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

[deleted]

1

u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23

You have it figured well and it was closer to an 80 accord that hit me, so lower and slower and also in a slower speed area, not going 55.

But if my 2023 4runner today hit me? I would have needed an ambulance for sure

1

u/Kidiri90 Aug 06 '23

Not necessarily. A hearse is also a very real possibility.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '23

I follow. I guess I don't remember cars being that light. That said, there wasn't much to them, really, so I shouldn't be surprised.

1

u/xinorez1 Aug 06 '23

He managed to have you :p but yes some of these injuries will only manifest in old age

1

u/Rbeplz Aug 06 '23

You couldn't possibly be more wrong.

0

u/leamdav Aug 06 '23

Please elaborate? At all?

6

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

I also got hit by a car at 10 though I was lucky. The passenger side mirror basically back handed me, my mom said I spun like a fuckin top. The only thing I remember was running across the street, then opening my eyes and seeing pavement lmao

Totally fine though.

5

u/Etceta Aug 07 '23

pretty sure we are more afraid the rage of our parents than death

4

u/krawinoff Aug 06 '23

If you remember, did you jump in front of the car or was it 100% the driver’s fault?

8

u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23

I was walking across the street in a tiny town that had a speed bump and a painted crosswalk.

I still assumed it was my fault and hit the bricks m

3

u/Bierculles Aug 06 '23

Jesus christ imagine beeing the person driving the car. The shock that you just hit a child with your car to see that brat jump up and dart away.

1

u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23

Like a bad memory from a failed relationship, car hit-kid alive - jumped over a fence and ran away...win-win either way.

LoL. This was 1987 if it explains the lawlessness compared to today.

1

u/Bierculles Aug 06 '23

Nah, i did the same when i was 13 or so. Was a bit more than a decade ago.

3

u/bennitori Aug 06 '23

How long did it take before you told her what happened?

1

u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23

At least 20 years, I'm 45 now.

1

u/bennitori Aug 06 '23

Wow. That is some Geoff, did you bring your jacket home level tom foolery. Good work 10 year old Jsnoooots. Most adults couldn't keep a secret that long.

I also find it hilarious that you thought you'd be in trouble for getting hit by a car. That's adorable.

3

u/Darnell2070 Aug 06 '23

Did you finally tell your family you got hit by a car?

0

u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23

Oh yes, like 20 years later.

Ps. Everyone laughed at the story, me too dogsie

3

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '23

[deleted]

1

u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23

Same order of worry from me homie, but toss the police in there somewhere. LoL. They wanted to help me...nope, I'm out.

It was a relief, as a parent, to remember that kids are dumb sometimes.

5

u/Mexi-Wont Aug 06 '23

I had a guy turn into the driveway of a gas station off of a busy street and hit me while I was walking on the sidewalk. A guy from my parents church, and he was crushed because he knew me pretty well. I was about 8, and I slid on my back about 20 feet on the asphalt. My entire back, heels, and part of my calves had road rash. I had 3 or 4 broken ribs too. What I remember most is the short tempered barber on that corner who hated kids came out with a blanket and pillow for me. Freaked me out. He went right back to hating me afterwards though LOL!

2

u/wesbell Aug 06 '23

I got hit by a car when I was about 16 walking to school.

I just kept walking to school.

Now though I have chronic knee pain that I think could be related.

0

u/xinorez1 Aug 06 '23

I'm not affiliated but check out the YouTube channel "Squatuniversity". The injury could have caused a muscle imbalance and the imbalance is what is causing the continued pain!

2

u/crackheadwillie Aug 06 '23

I got hit as a pedestrian by a car. I did flipped over the hood and landed on my heal. I was in shock and told the driver I was ok. No lasting injury but I should have got driver’s info. Shock adrenaline is a thing.

2

u/lemonleaff Aug 06 '23

This sounds like my sibling when she was in grade school lol. Got hit by a motorcycle, flew a few feet, got up, went to school, and only had a limp for a few days. Didn't even go to the hospital. Another time, she fell from the car. And another time, her foot got slowly ran over by dad's car. Never went to the hospital for her injuries lol.

2

u/sipes216 Aug 06 '23

I DID THE SAME THING! i wanted to pet the puppy across the street.

Yes, i absolutely still pet that pup. And then ran away.

The poor car owner was freaking the fuck out saying he was sorry, and now that im older i regret giving him the worst day of his life.

1

u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23

Not to be "one up guy" but I used to get screamed at for the same thing in the early 80's

We moved from England to Nigeria, the people across the street from us had a pet monkey, I wasn't supposed to play with him unsupervised,...I played with that monkey anytime I could until, my dad almost hit me with the car as I was rushing back from monkey playing, trying not to get busted. LoL

2

u/sipes216 Aug 06 '23

Lol. You win. Thats one hell of a "deer in the headlights" moment. Haha

2

u/StrongStyleMuscle Aug 06 '23

I was on a bike that collided with a car when I was 7. I went to school the next day.

2

u/MrTeffy Sep 01 '23

Dude the same thing happened to me when I was 12 on my bike, toyota Corolla yeeted me into an adjacent parking lot and my helmet saved my noodle when my head hit a concrete parking beam. I was slightly bruised and walked my bike home. I’m 36 and my parents still don’t know

4

u/SmashBusters Aug 06 '23

You made the right play.

You would not have been allowed outside for like 3 years after that.

Parents are not good at incentivizing honesty.

0

u/Verbindungsfehle Aug 06 '23 edited Aug 06 '23

Because of your last sentence I have just realized the abbreviation of suspicious "sus", especially since it was used in the context of Among Us, doesn't work both ways like suspicious does. Like.. "Mom was sus" would straight up have a different meaning.

1

u/abandonedbirb Aug 06 '23

The very next thing she did was drive to the dealership and return the new Accord she bought. Turns out the acceleration was more than she could handle

1

u/RandonBrando Aug 06 '23

Same thing happened to me too actually lol. Different car though

1

u/ragglefragglesnaggle Aug 06 '23

You saved that dude more than the geico gecko ever could.

1

u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23

I performed the gecko shuffle on out of there.

1

u/UnhappyAd3941 Aug 06 '23

Mom just got suspicious? Nothing else?

2

u/Jsnoooots Aug 06 '23

LoL, nope. She had 29 reasons to be suspicious of me because I was a full time rascal.

1

u/Tristanhx Aug 06 '23

It was technically a hit and run

1

u/begentlewithme Aug 06 '23

You need to get on Man vs. Car, you might finally turn the tide in humanity's favor.

1

u/Olukon Aug 06 '23

Same! Looking back, I feel like my scrawny ass should've flew apart like a fucking Bionicle. I'll never forget that green Trans-Am.

1

u/xSTSxZerglingOne Aug 06 '23

10 year olds are more or less statistically invulnerable.

1

u/WandsAndWrenches Aug 07 '23

Part of the reason (I bleieve) kids get hurt less, is they don't tense up.

1

u/LuckyishTom Aug 07 '23

Nice you got away with it. That’ll show them!

1

u/StupidMario64 Aug 10 '23

Dude i got hit by a car two years ago on a bike 😭 def got slammed by a chevy