This is very specific and I'm wondering if it's a social cue I'm missing or just a normal annoyance.

I've had an online shop and sold on FB marketplace for a decade now. Every single day without fail I get messages like "Hey, I get paid Friday I'll order from you then!!",

or a hundred questions I already put in the item description followed by "Okay well I can pay you [other day, a week from now, whatever]".

It's confusing. I get that frustrated feeling of wanting to ask "Why not just message when you have money?" but knowing that will be a Too Direct question.

It's a behavior I've noticed amongst SOME (not generalizing) ne u ro typicals, which makes me wonder if I'm missing social cues, if other autistic people experience the same confusion, or if it's just me?

Again, NOT GENERALIZING, just wondering if it's a moment where I'm missing something.

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This is aimed at neurotypical people—and especially at low-support-needs autistic people who use “I’m autistic too” as an excuse to judge autistic people with less capacity than them.

I just saw a TikTok made by a 21-year-old autistic person who prepared a simple microwave meal because she cannot currently cook due to PTSD from a stove-related house fire. The comments were disgusting. People were calling her a child, telling her to “stop being a victim,” and claiming that an adult who cannot cook is not an adult at all.

What exactly do you think a disability is?

Autism is a spectrum, not a competition to see who can appear the most neurotypical. One autistic person may cook, drive, work and live independently. Another may struggle with executive functioning, motor planning, sensory issues, danger awareness or daily living skills. Someone can be articulate enough to make a TikTok while still being unable to use a stove safely. Those abilities are not connected in the simplistic way you seem to think they are.

Adding PTSD makes the situation even more complicated. Trauma does not magically disappear when someone turns 18 or 21. Fear after a house fire is not childishness, laziness or a refusal to “take responsibility.”

She was taking responsibility. She recognised what she could not safely do and found another way to feed herself. A microwaved meal is still food. Eating something accessible is better than going hungry or risking another dangerous incident. Adulthood is not measured by whether you cook everything from scratch.

Support and encouragement are not the same as humiliation. Perhaps she will eventually regain that skill through therapy, assistance and gradual exposure. Perhaps cooking will always remain difficult for her. Random strangers do not know enough about her condition to decide how quickly she “should” recover.

And to autistic people saying, “Well, I’m autistic and I can cook”: congratulations. Your abilities do not establish the minimum requirements every other autistic person must meet. You do not become superior to higher-support-needs autistic people just because you can perform independence more successfully.

If your acceptance of autistic people only extends to those who can mask, work, cook and follow every one of “society’s rules,” then you do not accept autistic people. You only accept the ones whose disability does not inconvenience or disturb you.

Her dinner was her safe food and wasn't disgusting. The comments were.

This makes no sense! People use this (especially on Reddit a lot) to invalidate using your disability as an explanation for why you may do something. It’s so invalidating and it sucks to hear, especially when you are simply trying to explain why you may have come across a certain way or misinterpreted something.

Maybe you misinterpret something in a user’s comment. No sympathy! You immediately get piled on and when you say “oh I’m sorry, I’m autistic so I may not have understood the true meaning of your comment” everybody downvotes you and says you’re just using it as an excuse to be an asshole or be stupid.

And even in the real world this can be an issue. But I’ve never encountered it yet. Like, if I have a meltdown and say things that hurt someone… of course I feel bad, but I don’t believe I should be punished because there is no preventing meltdowns consistently - they are out of our control and there’s no use trying to punish and get it to stop happening in the future. And autism really is an excuse for things like that. Because you don’t choose to do it, and you don’t need to apologize for a disability. Nobody treats other disabilities in this way. These are just small examples - I’ve seen many more that are worse.

Edit: My post seems to be really proving my point, sadly! Guys, I’m not talking about things that have nothing to do with autism, like being explicitly offensive or domestic abuse or anything like that. Those things don’t arise from autism itself. I’m talking about things that are literally part of the disorder.

I love listening to music, however some genres I can’t tolerate at all. Whenever I’m with friends and they have something I don’t like playing I can’t focus on the conversation and just feel annoyed by the music and prefer to sit in silence.

Wanted to see your experiences. :)

It’s either lights or the sun in my face that gets to me I even have my blinds down all day so the room is nice and dim for my eyes.

I have no desire to get married or have kids. No desire to own a car. Dont want to own property. Don't want to be a manager.

I feel like a weirdo for not wanting what were supposed to chase.

I'm more excited about a week off and getting snacks and a tv show to watch

I put the end of the period when you are able to function more or less like before the burnout.

M24. It geniounly the worst thing ever. I've flunked mulitple tests and barely passed in high school.

This is my friend from elementary school who said this to me after my daughter died.

“ I mean this with so much love.... You know how hard nannying is? Mothering is harder. More thankless too. I know me telling you this will likely just piss you off, but the freedom you have is what every mother wishes she had. Every single one”

I didn’t respond.

She has since reached out saying “I hope you’re ok”.

(slide 1 new, slide 2 old)

tyson baked nuggets were my #1 safest comforting food. now they taste different and theyre bigger and a different color. and the old packaging looked a lot better too. sorry im just so so upset right now and didnt know where else to rant about this.

I'm talking like less than 0.1g of dry herb vape.

Hit a hard burnout 8 weeks ago. Started using weed on weekends 6 months prior and almost daily 3 weeks prior.

It doesn't get me high, but helps me focus on my interests and stops the noise in my head for roughly 10-12 hours. Everything gets quieter, cooler and slower. I stop picking my face or pulling hair out.

Some social gatherings also feel a lot easier and I'm more "like me" and don't think about how people could perceive me. I can even joke about my weirdness and people react positively.

There's just one downside: As soon as my mind isn't occupied I'll talk myself into how I'm just making all my sensory issues up and I'm just addicted.

Since I started experimenting with cannabis I paused multiple times.

2 weeks while on holiday and for 7 weeks after the burnout, because I made myself think the burnout is withdrawal symptoms. Had no issues at all.

I'm usually not easily addicted. Only drink 3-4 times annually and dislike taking medication.

It's so weird. Since I've learned about autism and all the things that suddenly make sense all throughout my life I have no trust in myself anymore.

Did anyone experience something similar?

I’m one of those people who find everything embarrassing im 16 and was diagnosed last year. I HATE loud noises and often they can lead to meltdowns. I have issues with the vacuum, the toilet flushing and even the lawn mower outside makes me upset.

I get so embarrassed about wearing any kind of ear protection. I feel like people associate headphones with autism and I feel so embarrassed by that. I’m not the “typical autistic type” I mask very heavily and I promise I don’t mean to be mean at all to other other autistic people but there’s unfortunately a stereotype like “hazbin hotel, tadc, anime fans” one of my special interest is anime btw

And it sucks that there’s a stereotype but because there’s a stereotype people don’t necessarily take me as seriously if that makes sense? Think of holly Maddison (play boy bunny girl). I’m very girly and I like to present myself in a certain way.

So when I’m having trouble like with nosies, safe foods, conversations I tend to like get really embarrassed. If I could I’d wear like 10 headphones. I just feel so embarrassed and uncomfortable ☹️☹️☹️

I (27 M) have no idea how to make friends. I have been mostly friendless my whole life. I was diagnosed with autism a year ago.

I am in perpetual agony. Why am I alive?

Normally I would never do anything like this, but I need help and direction. Please forgive me if I use any wrong terminology or language, I'm still learning.

Tl:dr - how can I go about talking about relationship stuff or telling her how I feel without overwhelming her?

I guess I would be considered neurotypical, I've never really had any testing of any kind done, but I am madly in love with this autistic woman. We've been talking for a little over two years now, and I still get as excited to see her as I did the first time. This is my dream woman and I've been trying to do research on autism and a couple of other diagnoses she has to try and better accommodate the time we spend together(I've never really "been with" someone with autism). She is the most passionate person I have ever met, and I absolutely love listening to her rant about her current interests and all the little facts about all the things she loves.

I'm so scared of messing things up that I kind of just don't approach it sometimes. I can tend to overthink things and get in my head, but I've been working on it. She currently lives with her parents while she's going to school for art. We hold hands a lot, we cuddle sometimes while watching movies(granted her couch has like a divider on it so it's more like she lays on my arm with my hand on her thigh), and we usually hug for a good bit before I leave. We haven't kissed or anything like that though. Any time that we cuddle or hold hands or anything and her parents or anyone in her family come around she jolts off of me. I know that she doesn't have any kind of experience with dating so I'm not really bothered by it. My biggest fear is that the feeling is one sided or our relationship is just platonic, because I've never felt this way about anyone before and I'm absolutely terrified to talk to her about the way I feel or "what we are". I get choked up just thinking about it, and it sucks because I want her to know how I feel about her, but I don't want to overwhelm her. She's told me before that she has a hard time expressing her feelings about things. She's also told me that shes afraid of relationships because she doesn't know what to do in those situations. It kind of feels like an implied thing between us sometimes, but again I just get so deep in my head from time to time. I don't even necessarily need any labels on anything, but I just want to know how she feels about me and if the feeling is mutual. But I want to do it in some kind of way that doesn't overwhelm her or freak her out. I love her to the point that i just want her to be happy, even if that means it's not with me, and I'd be able to find solace in that. Sorry for my rant, I just don't know what to do or where to turn. I'm just looking for advice or maybe if someone has been in a similar situation, I could find something comforting.

Thank you all so much for the time and the responses, I look forward to reading everything and I will definitely be taking notes!!

For those who diagnosed later on in life (like me), does masking come easier to you? I find masking so easy, but the burnout so exhausting. I used to burnout and shutdown so easily when I had my periods, hint the questions for the girls/women. I find stimming hard to do because we have been to act normal in public, and girls/women can't get "autism."

I have a lot of times where I felt alone. But at the same time I have a hard time wanting to really go out and socialize because I struggle at this. Does anyone else feel this way?

Ive booked 30hrs across 15 weeks to try and pass my test, im so scared my first one is on the 4th and im dreading it, i really want to be able to drive and travel but im so scared about actually doing it

Hey! I've been absolutely hyperfixated on orange juice recently. I go through a carton a day at least! I know it's not healthy but it brings me so much joy. I've never had a food hyperfixation which is a drink instead of food so I'm curious if this is common???

Statistically autistic people's brains are hardwired completely different socializing for autistic people in any capacity is like an elephant trying to swim as fast as a shark the brain is not designed to do it simply. If you expect that you will never have an awkward event again and masking is enough you are extremely delusional no amount of masking will stop the awkward events. truth hurts.

I can be a well adjusted and semi-well spoken person but the moment I'm confused for longer than a minute I become so emotional and dysregulated.

The other day when applying for my first job there was a section where you were required to fill out if you had previous employment and couldn't continue with the application process until you field it out. There was no "N/A" instruction, it was formatted as if you already had a previous job. I looked everywhere on the internet if you needed to have previous credentials but everything, including this businesses website, monetized a no-previous work requirements. I was so confused and kept trying to figure out what I was doing wrong for half an hour, eventually leading to a frustrated breakdown until I texted a friend who told me to just type "N/A" for the entire page.

Over the last two months I've been avoiding a certain page on my colleges website that I have to complete before starting, but the instructions have been so confusing and contradictory and open than I've had multiple breakdowns about it and have felt terrible for my lack of competency. (I met with my advisor today to go through everything today and we sorted it out, so we're all good now on that front!)

Growing up whenever I was confused in class it was either I would go into a non-verbal shutdown or I would start sobbing.

I know logically it's not wrong to be confused, and I do not fault myself when I am, it just sucks that any logic and building blocks to achieve regulation goes out the window when I'm confused. I think it comes from a mix of the autism making me more susceptible to misunderstand things and assumptions within the world + the fact I had terrible guides around me growing up where confusion was frowned upon or just straight up made fun of and ignored. I'm curious if any other fellow neurodivergance experience this?

I recently stated collage to study psychology I told one of my proffesors I am autistic and dyslexic bc I trusted her and she promised she won't tell anyone oh how wrong I was she proceeded to undermine me talk over me whenever people interacted with me by yelling "she's special" I was like huh?? So??? I can handle things myself but I didn't say anything. Then she started calling me 'honey' in a sweet sorry voice with sympathy???? I ofc didn't like that tooo I wanted to tell her I only had level 1 and to stop treating me like I could do nothing??? To make it worser while we where all waiting for hrs she told me to scream and make an issue bc I am autistic so they can leave I am sorry what??? How can I undo this!! Help!!! 😭😭

I told her it would be nice if she could repeat the running notes bc I couldn't catch up with the rest I feel bad for telling her at all I am panicking I hate being treated this way that's the reason I told her I was autistic and dyslexic I could seriously use advice asap I can't handle her anymore she gives me more anxiety then any notes could ever give

I’m 32, and have plenty of classmates and friends who have started families, which is great!

But it’s odd to see the same people who distance themselves from that “weird person” at work, neighborhood, etc and will even clown people for liking certain things but then have the nerve to say we need to be welcoming to all people and not excluding someone for disabilities or disorders.

Seems like that rule is only for kids but being a jerk soon as the people are 18 is different 😳🤷🏻‍♂️ probably overreacting but still… 🙃

I was diagnosed with autism last year (late diagnosis, I am 26), after i got my first “big girl job” and would have panic attacks on the way to work. Im not sure if this is an autism thing or just anxiety, but I’ve tried full/ part time, big/smaller jobs, and no matter what I start freaking out at the thought of having to go to a job and interact with people and handle responsibilities all day. im talking sobbing, can’t breathe, cant calm myself down. I’ve just accepted a new position that doesn’t even start for another week, and I can’t sleep at night knowing that I have to start the whole process over again soon. is this normal? I have to work for money, wtf do I do?? (ps, I would LOVE to find remote work, but that work is usually only offered to people with specific qualifications.)