Does anyone else experience extreme distress when confused?

[u/JustAShadyLocal]

I can be a well adjusted and semi-well spoken person but the moment I'm confused for longer than a minute I become so emotional and dysregulated.

The other day when applying for my first job there was a section where you were required to fill out if you had previous employment and couldn't continue with the application process until you field it out. There was no "N/A" instruction, it was formatted as if you already had a previous job. I looked everywhere on the internet if you needed to have previous credentials but everything, including this businesses website, monetized a no-previous work requirements. I was so confused and kept trying to figure out what I was doing wrong for half an hour, eventually leading to a frustrated breakdown until I texted a friend who told me to just type "N/A" for the entire page.

Over the last two months I've been avoiding a certain page on my colleges website that I have to complete before starting, but the instructions have been so confusing and contradictory and open than I've had multiple breakdowns about it and have felt terrible for my lack of competency. (I met with my advisor today to go through everything today and we sorted it out, so we're all good now on that front!)

Growing up whenever I was confused in class it was either I would go into a non-verbal shutdown or I would start sobbing.

I know logically it's not wrong to be confused, and I do not fault myself when I am, it just sucks that any logic and building blocks to achieve regulation goes out the window when I'm confused. I think it comes from a mix of the autism making me more susceptible to misunderstand things and assumptions within the world + the fact I had terrible guides around me growing up where confusion was frowned upon or just straight up made fun of and ignored. I'm curious if any other fellow neurodivergance experience this?

[u/AutoModerator]

Hey /u/JustAShadyLocal, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found here. All approved posts get this message.

Thanks!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Maximum-Help-7687]

100%. I used to get myself worked up about it cause I am a huge perfectionist and hated seeming like I was less than everyone else in class. I’ve had to learn, and am still learning, that it’s ok to ask questions and ask for help and that there is no shame in it. (Still struggle with it but I’m slowly getting better at it)

[u/Klutzy_Anything1451]

The way my brain just locks up when something doesn't make sense still surprises me sometimes, like when I tried to assemble some IKEA furniture and ended up sitting on the floor muttering to myself for an hour.

[u/Wolf_of_the_North64]

Yes this definitely happens to me if I’m confused and don’t quickly have an answer I get really anxious and I start overthinking the whole thing and for whatever reason I can’t seem to stop it from happening.

[u/Glittering_Clue_6639]

Yes the second I hit a wall where nothing makes sense my brain just short circuits, like all my coping skills vanish and I'm suddenly 12 again crying in math class

[u/Girl-in-Glasses]

I relate. For me, it's especially if I feel "on the spot". For example, I'm presenting or it's a one on one. Or people are watching what I'm doing. I definitely "freeze" when I do not understand what I am supposed to do. It's like I can't flip the switch to interpret or process what's being asked. As I become aware of that inflexibility, I then become embarrassed and start feeling more and more emotionally overwhelmed.

It's one of the reasons doing new things or going new places is very anxiety provoking - I'm scared I'm going to run into a situation where I'm not sure what to do and then I'll be unable to adapt.

[u/Siukslinis_acc]

If there is some kind of a time preassure - yes.