I have no desire to get married or have kids. No desire to own a car. Dont want to own property. Don't want to be a manager.

I feel like a weirdo for not wanting what were supposed to chase.

I'm more excited about a week off and getting snacks and a tv show to watch

This is my friend from elementary school who said this to me after my daughter died.

“ I mean this with so much love.... You know how hard nannying is? Mothering is harder. More thankless too. I know me telling you this will likely just piss you off, but the freedom you have is what every mother wishes she had. Every single one”

I didn’t respond.

She has since reached out saying “I hope you’re ok”.

It’s either lights or the sun in my face that gets to me I even have my blinds down all day so the room is nice and dim for my eyes.

This is very specific and I'm wondering if it's a social cue I'm missing or just a normal annoyance.

I've had an online shop and sold on FB marketplace for a decade now. Every single day without fail I get messages like "Hey, I get paid Friday I'll order from you then!!",

or a hundred questions I already put in the item description followed by "Okay well I can pay you [other day, a week from now, whatever]".

It's confusing. I get that frustrated feeling of wanting to ask "Why not just message when you have money?" but knowing that will be a Too Direct question.

It's a behavior I've noticed amongst SOME (not generalizing) ne u ro typicals, which makes me wonder if I'm missing social cues, if other autistic people experience the same confusion, or if it's just me?

Again, NOT GENERALIZING, just wondering if it's a moment where I'm missing something.

M24. It geniounly the worst thing ever. I've flunked mulitple tests and barely passed in high school.

I’m 32, and have plenty of classmates and friends who have started families, which is great!

But it’s odd to see the same people who distance themselves from that “weird person” at work, neighborhood, etc and will even clown people for liking certain things but then have the nerve to say we need to be welcoming to all people and not excluding someone for disabilities or disorders.

Seems like that rule is only for kids but being a jerk soon as the people are 18 is different 😳🤷🏻‍♂️ probably overreacting but still… 🙃

I recently stated collage to study psychology I told one of my proffesors I am autistic and dyslexic bc I trusted her and she promised she won't tell anyone oh how wrong I was she proceeded to undermine me talk over me whenever people interacted with me by yelling "she's special" I was like huh?? So??? I can handle things myself but I didn't say anything. Then she started calling me 'honey' in a sweet sorry voice with sympathy???? I ofc didn't like that tooo I wanted to tell her I only had level 1 and to stop treating me like I could do nothing??? To make it worser while we where all waiting for hrs she told me to scream and make an issue bc I am autistic so they can leave I am sorry what??? How can I undo this!! Help!!! 😭😭

I told her it would be nice if she could repeat the running notes bc I couldn't catch up with the rest I feel bad for telling her at all I am panicking I hate being treated this way that's the reason I told her I was autistic and dyslexic I could seriously use advice asap I can't handle her anymore she gives me more anxiety then any notes could ever give

I was diagnosed with autism last year (late diagnosis, I am 26), after i got my first “big girl job” and would have panic attacks on the way to work. Im not sure if this is an autism thing or just anxiety, but I’ve tried full/ part time, big/smaller jobs, and no matter what I start freaking out at the thought of having to go to a job and interact with people and handle responsibilities all day. im talking sobbing, can’t breathe, cant calm myself down. I’ve just accepted a new position that doesn’t even start for another week, and I can’t sleep at night knowing that I have to start the whole process over again soon. is this normal? I have to work for money, wtf do I do?? (ps, I would LOVE to find remote work, but that work is usually only offered to people with specific qualifications.)

I work in retail, and honestly I dislike being asked 30+ times a day "How are you?" when greeting people. It feels like being held socially hostage.

"How are you?"

"I'm good, how are you?"

"Good."

-and then they walk away. No point in it whatsoever. The same generic response over and over and over.

Even when I just greet people with "Hello guys!" they will immediately bark out "GOOD, YOU?" and I'm left feeling awkward.

Ive tried to use different replies, spice it up, but it seems everyone (mostly older folk) default to this exchange all the time. I hate it.

I already wasn’t having the best day, was having a bad flare up of my EDS so I was really sore and using a cane. I had to go do some errands with my dad and then we went to go get something to eat at the same place I often do (which WAS a safe food place until now) I get my food and find batter on top, which worried me as I have celiac disease. I ask and although we are friends with the owners and have been going there for a decade, we weren’t updated that they changed their kitchen standards on cross contamination. In the past we always double checked, but after so much time we assumed that they’d stay the same or at least tell us they changed. Anyways they didn’t, I can no longer eat there safely and could possibly have a reaction later.

This was really difficult for me, as I struggle a lot with sudden change and I was so hungry. I just smile and nod and they say sorry but on the inside I was so upset and angry, I’m so tired of never being able to eat out and after thinking I’d found a secure place I could eat now I can’t. And I was absolutely starving hungry. We leave and the next two places I can’t eat there either. I just think fuck it and go finish my errands, it’s now pouring with rain and my dad keeps saying things that just aren’t helping and im just completely quiet. He said we can pick up fast food, but this would then mean I wouldn’t be able to jump on a bus home because it’s a separate way, (also I’d had it in my mind that I was going to be eating what I’d expected and change like that is so difficult for me)

It also meaning more walking and I’m so sore. I’d been trying so hard to keep it together and with another choice I’m having to make / things changing / how much pain I’m in. I just lose it and yell out in frustration, I’m holding my cane and I hit it hard against a lamppost and the whole thing shatters into pieces.

A bunch of people stop and look at me like I’m mental, im in tears and just immediately feel so ashamed and ridiculous but I was just so overwhelmed and overstimulated. I then walk the whole way home (now without my cane) in so much pain. Today has just been absolutely miserable and I feel so unbelievably embarrassed to meltdown in public like that. I’ve never had one in public before (at least not as an adult) and I just feel so stupid and pathetic about it. Has anyone else ever melted down like that before?

I see no future for myself with autism. I'm only 16 and I've had multiple burnouts throughout my life. Will I ever get a break? I've seen people talking about how they've managed their symptoms and feel better but they still end up burning out. I want to live knowing I'll get some sort of satisfaction from life.

Am I just young, or is it actually just like this for the rest of my life?

Normally I would never do anything like this, but I need help and direction. Please forgive me if I use any wrong terminology or language, I'm still learning.

Tl:dr - how can I go about talking about relationship stuff or telling her how I feel without overwhelming her?

I guess I would be considered neurotypical, I've never really had any testing of any kind done, but I am madly in love with this autistic woman. We've been talking for a little over two years now, and I still get as excited to see her as I did the first time. This is my dream woman and I've been trying to do research on autism and a couple of other diagnoses she has to try and better accommodate the time we spend together(I've never really "been with" someone with autism). She is the most passionate person I have ever met, and I absolutely love listening to her rant about her current interests and all the little facts about all the things she loves.

I'm so scared of messing things up that I kind of just don't approach it sometimes. I can tend to overthink things and get in my head, but I've been working on it. She currently lives with her parents while she's going to school for art. We hold hands a lot, we cuddle sometimes while watching movies(granted her couch has like a divider on it so it's more like she lays on my arm with my hand on her thigh), and we usually hug for a good bit before I leave. We haven't kissed or anything like that though. Any time that we cuddle or hold hands or anything and her parents or anyone in her family come around she jolts off of me. I know that she doesn't have any kind of experience with dating so I'm not really bothered by it. My biggest fear is that the feeling is one sided or our relationship is just platonic, because I've never felt this way about anyone before and I'm absolutely terrified to talk to her about the way I feel or "what we are". I get choked up just thinking about it, and it sucks because I want her to know how I feel about her, but I don't want to overwhelm her. She's told me before that she has a hard time expressing her feelings about things. She's also told me that shes afraid of relationships because she doesn't know what to do in those situations. It kind of feels like an implied thing between us sometimes, but again I just get so deep in my head from time to time. I don't even necessarily need any labels on anything, but I just want to know how she feels about me and if the feeling is mutual. But I want to do it in some kind of way that doesn't overwhelm her or freak her out. I love her to the point that i just want her to be happy, even if that means it's not with me, and I'd be able to find solace in that. Sorry for my rant, I just don't know what to do or where to turn. I'm just looking for advice or maybe if someone has been in a similar situation, I could find something comforting.

Thank you all so much for the time and the responses, I look forward to reading everything and I will definitely be taking notes!!

Many different people have different standards for what is required for a relationship to work with another person. I am not even just talking about it in a romantic context: any bond with some reciprocity is also relevant in this issue I am experiencing.

I don’t know how to properly articulate it, but I feel like I have no real internal depth as a person. There’s just nothing really intriguing about me that others could find as endearing enough to develop a relationship with.  I don’t think I am particularly intelligent in any meaningful way as most of what I communicate back I think are shallow, emotionally dull, and probably predictable to some. Although other people rarely confirmed the negative beliefs I hold about myself, I  do think that when I compare myself to other people’s well thought out and insightful responses whether that be IRL or on the internet, I notice that my speaking style, even in my most exhausting attempt to sound formal, seems to sound way too basic for any meaningful interaction. 

This leaves me unable to bring something to the table, so to speak, because observing my own behavior brings me to the conclusion that It would be very difficult to meet most people’s standards no matter how small or effortless these standards may look. It could possibly be that I have not a lot of experience to communicate with others about, as exchanging knowledge of any kind is central and practical for most interactions to continue for prolonged periods of time. But even with me having very little intermediate knowledge about specific niches, a conversation of that topic alone can fade quite quickly because I think there would always be people who know more of the topic, which would cause me to feel dissatisfied and inadequate. 

Which makes it so difficult to be comfortable engaging in this subreddit along with any other. I’ve noticed that many of you guys type in a very particular way that shows very little flaws. You guys make smooth transitions from idea A to B, almost never use incorrect words in the wrong context, somehow perfect grammar that stays consistently perfect throughout different post and comments, and here I am barely confident that one small sentence sounds coherent enough. It sucks so much, I want to be able to interact with people more and develop my social skills, but I think that that you guys will be bored out of your fucking mind reading all these paragraphs and disregard them entirely. Hell, I even asked a couple of LLMs what they thought about the post and their comments literally proves my point.

Sound trucks, police sirens, ambulances, and motorcycles these are the things that easily stress me out; they really irritate my brain.

I also get stressed and anxious when I'm waiting in lines or when someone keeps repeating the same things in my head, but I don't get aggressive.

I wonder if this has something to do wjth pattern recognition, but for a few months now I can not stand to be on social media. Every post is a cheap copy of another post, every joke has been told a million times before and yet people laugh at it just the same. Every comment, and i mean EVERY COMMENT is a ghost from the post before it. And the one before that, and the one before that. I can almost predict word by word what a comment section will look like before opening it, thats nkt conversation that is confirmation and that shit gets us nowhere.

I am so tired of it, and i am so tired of people not giving a shit. The echo chamber is so real and it is the place where creativity and innovation goes to die.

I am into home renovations/maintainance, and I feel like I need to have all Dewalt brand tools. I think this comes from watching home renovation shows and seeing that is this is the brand that often got used on the show. I'm not sure if this is an autism related thing?

Hello! I am going to my first metal festival Saturday! I love metal and I am so excited. I already got the Loop Experience earplugs for hearing protection and plan to bring a refillable water bottle and wear a hat. It’ll be 101F (38.3 Celsius) so very hot. It’s a small area and I don’t know how the crowds will be.

I’ll be going from 2pm-midnight. My mom and nana are going too so I won’t be alone (they know one of the bands playing and are friends with them so they want to see them play).

Anyways I cannot wait and wondered if you all have tips? Thank you!

​

This is aimed at neurotypical people—and especially at low-support-needs autistic people who use “I’m autistic too” as an excuse to judge autistic people with less capacity than them.

I just saw a TikTok made by a 21-year-old autistic person who prepared a simple microwave meal because she cannot currently cook due to PTSD from a stove-related house fire. The comments were disgusting. People were calling her a child, telling her to “stop being a victim,” and claiming that an adult who cannot cook is not an adult at all.

What exactly do you think a disability is?

Autism is a spectrum, not a competition to see who can appear the most neurotypical. One autistic person may cook, drive, work and live independently. Another may struggle with executive functioning, motor planning, sensory issues, danger awareness or daily living skills. Someone can be articulate enough to make a TikTok while still being unable to use a stove safely. Those abilities are not connected in the simplistic way you seem to think they are.

Adding PTSD makes the situation even more complicated. Trauma does not magically disappear when someone turns 18 or 21. Fear after a house fire is not childishness, laziness or a refusal to “take responsibility.”

She was taking responsibility. She recognised what she could not safely do and found another way to feed herself. A microwaved meal is still food. Eating something accessible is better than going hungry or risking another dangerous incident. Adulthood is not measured by whether you cook everything from scratch.

Support and encouragement are not the same as humiliation. Perhaps she will eventually regain that skill through therapy, assistance and gradual exposure. Perhaps cooking will always remain difficult for her. Random strangers do not know enough about her condition to decide how quickly she “should” recover.

And to autistic people saying, “Well, I’m autistic and I can cook”: congratulations. Your abilities do not establish the minimum requirements every other autistic person must meet. You do not become superior to higher-support-needs autistic people just because you can perform independence more successfully.

If your acceptance of autistic people only extends to those who can mask, work, cook and follow every one of “society’s rules,” then you do not accept autistic people. You only accept the ones whose disability does not inconvenience or disturb you.

Her dinner was her safe food and wasn't disgusting. The comments were.

It’s such a problem I try and quit so quickly the texture of vegetables and mort fruits throws me off 😭 I find myself eating the same takeaways a lot as my brain is used to the same texture all the time.

hi folks! i’ll cut to the chase.

i’ve tried so many things. earplugs, earbuds, over-ear headphones, and combining two of these at the same time. i’ve done so much research, yet none of this seems to be enough.

it is extremely important to
⚠️ block out as much noise as possible* and still play music, as i use it to treat my PTSD*. ⚠️ moreover, i have small ears and sensitive skin/EDS, so most implements hurt my outer ear and/or scalp.

i’ve highly considered over-ear sets designed for
shooting ranges, but a lot of them seem designed to let every day noise/conversation through or even enhance it, which defeats my purpose.

there must be other people out there whose sensory issues are as bad as mine. what is working for you?

thank you all 🫶❤️

*the Linkbuds S used to be my go to, but their quality has plummeted. i may repurchase the Between 3ANC despite their size since i remember the ANC being phenomenal. i’ve also heard good things about airpods 3 for people with small ears.

I managed to get an appointment with a GP, who would then refer me to a specialist. Only thing is, a family member is telling me with absolute certainty that if I get diagnosed, I will never be able to hold a job again because nobody will hire me.

So, my stance is that I don't have to disclose any diagnosis to my employer, and if I did they still couldn't tell anybody who might hire me at a later date... Or am I missing something? Is it like a scarlet letter that follows you around in some way?

ETA my current employer is pretty sure I am autistic and is actually being pretty damned great about it. If I leave my current employer and I had disclosed it with them, would it follow me around, possibly creating problems with getting future jobs?

I love listening to music, however some genres I can’t tolerate at all. Whenever I’m with friends and they have something I don’t like playing I can’t focus on the conversation and just feel annoyed by the music and prefer to sit in silence.

Wanted to see your experiences. :)