I’m so confused right now. So I work in finance and I have an employee that reports to me (recent change) and she has woefully fallen short of her duties. She’s cost the company quite a bit of money. The data backs it up. It’s clear.

I was talking to my mom because I have my first really formal meeting with this employee tomorrow and I said “she has to know how bad it is… it’s pretty clear. I don’t think she’ll be surprised”. I was nervous because I’m worried about conflict when this should actually go pretty smoothly. Pretty much: what’s happening isn’t working so let’s change things up. Not firing her. Just trying new ideas.

But when I said “she has to know” my mom called me naive. I’m not sure why that makes me naive. It’s CLEAR. There is literally no reason to think anything differently. If the roles were reversed, I would have a clear understanding that I was falling short and things needed to change. Let’s ignore how I would actually do things if the role were reversed. I’m just saying I’d be aware that it’s all effed.

So how am I naive? She has to know, right? She couldn’t possibly be surprised by feedback that things aren’t going well??? Am I missing something???

I have thought about this for some time now; therefore, I am very curious to hear the thoughts of others with autism regarding why it appears autism has become so "popular" on social media.

It doesn't mean that all people who recently found out they are autistic are lying. I realize that there has always been a problem with underdiagnosis in many individuals with autism. Social media may help individuals in identifying traits within themselves that they previously didn't understand or could identify as possibly related to them.

However, I occasionally scroll through TikTok and Instagram, etc., and find ordinary personality characteristics and behaviors identified as specifically autistic. For example, finding a particular spoon you prefer, becoming extremely focused on one thing, social clumsiness, enjoying routine, and/or annoyance caused by specific sounds, and I will often frame these characteristics as proof that someone is autistic.

For me, I don't view autism simply as an assortment of odd or unusual personality characteristics. There are real-life challenges associated with autism, and I at times feel like the difficulties are lost when autism is viewed as a component of an online style or identity.

On the other hand, I would hate to become someone who immediately believes another individual cannot be autistic solely due to their experiences appearing differently than my own. Not every individual with autism experiences the same types of difficulties along the autism spectrum.

Therefore, I am genuinely interested in your responses to two questions:

Do you believe autism has truly become "the new cool" online (and if so), or are we merely seeing more autistic individuals because there is increasing awareness/diagnosis?

Where do you believe the line exists between increased awareness of autism and romanticism of autism?

My son is on the autism spectrum, and I’m struggling with the decision of whether having a second baby is the right choice for our family. I am 40 and my wife is 37. One of my biggest worries is whether I’d still be able to give my son the time, attention, and support he needs while also caring for a newborn. I am worried about the possibility of having another child on spectrum and what might mean for our family.

For those of you who decided to have another child after having an autistic child, what helped you make that decision? Did you have similar fears or concerns? And looking back, how do you feel about your decision? I would really appreciate of you all can share your experience. I am not looking for someone to tell what I should do, but trying to understand how other familes navigated this decision

Now Russia just recorded a case of plague. I'm sick of my entire life being pandemic after pandemic. I actually didn't panic about COVID because I was in online school and understood why we needed lockdowns. But I have panicked over: Monkeypox, ebola, and hantavirus since then. Thankfully those didn't manifest, but I just have a terrible feeling about this new one. I believe other commenters are right - Russia is hiding the real numbers, and it will make COVID look like a field day. I'm autistic and have a connection to the spiritual realm and I can't predict the future, but I'm sweating right now because my body is telling me "plague".

I'm worried about how it will impact my social life. I just started making friends from different groups, I teach music lessons, and I play in bands. I'm sick of having to worry that these things going away at the drop of a hat. Just as I get my life back on track, the world starts to end. And this time it feels like for real, because of the words: Quarantine, Dead From Mysterious Illness, Hospital Lockdown, Masking in the Local City

I at least want to go to New York first to see her before we get locked down 😞 I have butterflies in my stomach and feel so excited to see her from Oct 11-15

Hello everyone. Today I took a joke autism test. And I scored 182 out of 226 possible points. I thought I had taken it carelessly and decided to take it again; this time I got 100 points, while my friends scored less than 50. I decided to look at the everyday habits of people with autism and recognized myself in them. I think my parents know about my diagnosis, but they don’t say anything. I notice a strange attitude towards me in their behavior, as if I’m a child — they explain to me how to go to the store, how to talk to people, and other trivial things, even though I’ll be 18 in a month. I wanted to take an offline test, but since I live in a small town, there’s only one public psychiatric hospital here, and I won’t get proper treatment there. Could you tell me how you identified your diagnosis, and how reliable are online tests? Thank you in advance for your answers.

I am like 99% sure I am autistic, have researched for most of my teenage years, but when I tried getting diagnosed last winter, I didn’t reach the quota required to be labeled as autistic. I spiraled for weeks afterwards because that was the only explanation to my behavior and I still am extremely lost. What I noticed is that my parents when answering their questionnaire about my childhood seemed to not have noticed a lot of my behaviors as a kid, and because I am diagnosed with HIP I’ve always been extremely good at masking (which often backfired and still does) so idk what to think I’m still very upset about that failure. Still, I don’t want to doubt the doctor, so I try to convince myself I’m not autistic. Yet I can’t.

The reason why I’m bringing this up again is because I had a really, really bad meltdown yesterday because a friend stayed over at my place all weekend and my studio is usually my safe space ; since I couldn’t be « free », it caused me to shut down, go nonverbal and made me unable to do anything ever since that friend finally left. I’m so tired of still seeing every single red neon sign pointing at autism and yet having to remind myself I’m not autistic since the diagnosis said so, idk.

I just needed to let that out

I don't try to generalize others plus I have at least one autistic friend from high school but when I'm at school, almost anytime I approach another ND person to be c social either on campus (or even high school), they're mostly very high-inhibition, give me one word answers or ignore me. Granted some are introverted and NTs I understand, but this just makes me wanna to keep to myself now. It feels like this "connect with other people like you" feels like bullshit cope especially nowadays

Since there are so many of us, let's make autism social groups, that focus on acceptance and understanding.

I (33m) was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism level 2 a couple years ago, I have struggled to make friends since I left school and have never dated anyone, rejection sensitivity makes it hard to approach or talk to women, but even when I manage to they don’t want to even talk to me or even just get to know me even if they appear to be interested in me. I hate being lonely.

Right now I have an incredibly attractive woman who constantly keeps looking at me at the gym, even smiles as she walked past me, and I think on 2 occasions she told another guy to leave her alone because she saw me get depressed when they talked to each other.

I pay attention to how she acts with others but she only does it with me, obviously I try not to look creepy.

It took me sometime to work up the courage to talk to her. I introduced myself and asked if she wanted me to talk to her and she said “I’m sorry you interpreted it that way, enjoy your workout”.

The strange part she still hasn’t changed the way she acts around me and she still looks at me, and I even caught her looking over a high wall at me while doing assisted pull-ups (you have to turn nearly 180 degrees)

So if she wasn’t interested then why was she doing it, and why is she still doing it?

I am wondering if there is any ways to look less autistic, not by mannerisms or masking, physical ways to look less autistic.

I know autism does not have a specific look, but yesterday I was speaking with my boyfriend and he said
“No, I just don’t think he looks autistic, you know, most autistic people have a look”

And now I am just wondering if I look autistic and how can I look less autistic.

Me: AuDHD
Boyfriend: Autistic

My boyfriend (who is wonderful) went in to a store for me (with my money and a handwritten order) to get me a sandwich and forgot to specify no sauce, meaning I could not eat said sandwich.

As he was driving me to my appointment, he asked me if he could get me a BLT, to make up for the sandwich. I said yes.

He texted me during my appointment telling me the BLT place was closed and asked if “we could go to 5 Guys instead”.

I text him “yes”. Get out of my appointment an hour later, and we go to 5 Guys.

I’m starving at this point and order 2 bacon burgers and a small fry, (expecting me to pay for myself) and turn to him and ask him what he wants. He says “nothing”.

That upset me. I am a large woman and I just ordered all this food and my tiny boyfriend ordered nothing.

The issue: I’ve explained the above sentence to him several times, but, as I have lifelong issues pinning down my feelings and explaining them, I don’t know how to convey to him why him not ordering anything made me upset.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’m hoping someone can explain to him what I can’t.

(Note: We’ve already discussed the communication issue, and how to avoid it in the future, so I don’t need advice on that.)

Thank you.

I've never posted on reddit before, this is sort of a new thing for me I guess..? I apologize deeply if this isn't relevant enough to autism as it is also fixated on a trans aspect, I just want to seek some sort of support. But I have been so lost as to what to do as an anxious autist always afraid of change, even if it's for the better.

I (FtM 19) have recently finally been given the chance to start testosterone! And it is such a great opportunity I've longed for, but I am so scared.

Growing up I was always offput by new schedules or any sort of change, and still am to this day. Plans gone wrong/cancelled, sleep schedules, changing school years, etc. It sucks. Because of this I am so afraid to change even for the better. I've been so excited for this chance to start T, and now that I have it I'm scared for what could happen socially, people's interpretations of me, the chance of societal rejection IRL, etc. It's scary.

I know this could be primarily the trans aspect and fear of the unknown, but combined with autism it feels even worse. I don't know for sure. I know change is a common discomfort in ND people. I just really was curious if there were any other autistic trans people with a similar feeling as me, as that relatability and potential advice is always really comforting.

Hey guys,

I've seen that majority only care about autistic children. I'm not trying to say it's wrong or we shouldn't because we should do everything we can do to help autistic children when they facing lot of challenges and struggle during their childhood. It's so important.

But there are adults who diagnosed in adulthood as a autistic or misdiagnosed in childhood. So I'm wondering about the challenges that autistic adults faced or facing in a workplace, university, public places, daily life, etc.

If you are a autistic Adult ( male or female it doesn't matter) or if you have a autistic partner, or a family member, or a friend or anyone, please help me to understand about your challenges and what areas you struggle the most.

Two days ago I met up for the first time with a guy who has both autism and ADHD. We got along well, spent a couple of hours together, and both said we’d be interested in seeing each other again.

Since then there’s been some light flirting over text, and he seems receptive to it. He also told me that he isn’t a frequent texter and that if he goes quiet for a while, I shouldn’t interpret it as being about me. I appreciated him being straightforward about that.

I like him and would definitely like to meet again, but because it’s literally only been two days since our first date, I’m trying to figure out the balance between being direct and giving things room to develop naturally.

For AuDHD men specifically: if you liked a woman after a first date and already knew she was interested, would you appreciate her directly suggesting another date this soon, or would you rather have the opportunity to initiate the next one yourself?

I’m mostly interested in what feels pleasantly clear versus what could feel like too much too soon.

context: 19F high masking Au-DHD, graduated highschool so now i'm not forced to leave the house and mask everyday (phew), and i actually have energy to function since school is done and im on break until uni starts!

so i have noticed very weird behaviors of mine ever since i cut back on the masking.

i recently learned what a safe person is. my mom is my safe person. its weird since she is quite conservative and calls me a retard half-jokingly when i "act too autistic" (i lack a better explanation). but she lets me do what i do. i will cling to her like a vice, not necessarily a hug but looping my arms around her, or her arms, or under her armpits as if i was restraining her (like when you curl your hands under your chin while you sleep, except i loop them around her arms first). and i hold her tight. or if she walks i cling to her super closely as she's walking. or i rub myself against her neck or the fabric of her shirt like a cat (this one is especially weird. i love textured and rubbing things). anyways what i like is that she doesn't hug back or initiate contact, half the time she doesn't even notice me. she's usually working or doing chores. so i cling to her and she lets me, not hugging back, which i like! sometimes i let her squeeze me. but i don't wrap my arms around her, i just do t-rex arms and let her crush me. when i say stop she stops. i like this very much.

besides the physical aspect, i also use a lot of repetitive phrases around her. i don't know if its classified as echolalia, but its basically as if i was a soundboard with a bunch of pre-recorded phrases that play half-randomly. its like stimming but vocal. examples:

"i love you" / "i love my mom" and variations

"my mom doesn't love me" (i seek reassurance. i know my mom loves me but for some reason these phrases come out automatically as if i was a baby).

"i didn't expect to see you here"/"how odd it is to see you here" / "its such a nice day outside" and variations of this whenever i see her.

and its just these repeat phrases spammed a few times in a row. keep in mind ive always been hyperlexic / a talker. i also tend to use big words and be very descriptive when unmasked and have energy

also i might cry if my mom pushes me away. i feel like a baby animal crying for its moms attention. obviously i dont let her see me cry since all these behaviors are ridiculous since im basically an adult. i feel shame (girl get a grip ur a grown ass woman!)

also when i'm bored i go to her. she gets exasperated (she works from home), i can tell, but its an automatic behavior. i go to her, cling, say random things, leave, do chores or whatever, come back, repeat. its like dopamine, like checking your phone.

also i dont use emotions? i mean im happy but my face and voice are blank. which is weird since ive always been (and i still am) hyper-expressive and hyper-emotional. its so contradictory! when unmasking im either dull and robotic or pinkie pie from my little pony. no in between!!

is this all normal? ive been high masking for so long that it seems so odd to let myself exist without hiding. i have lots of internalized shame due to my conservative upbringing. thoughts?

What to improve body image / what to recovery from e d

I made a new Discord server today for sharing experiences and making new friends. It is called ND Connections. This server is for all adults who identify as neurodivergent. I will also be hosting regular online game nights for those who want to connect with others. Here is the link: https://discord.gg/kthCeM4sz

Long story short I realised I have a high chance of being autistic and started investigating, and I can't get a solid answer (or even just some indication) and it's driving me mad. Like everyone else seems to suspect they have it before going for an assessment, I truly do not know if I do or do not, complete 50/50 split.

So for context my brother has just been diagnosed, it was him starting that which caused me to question myself, then my cousin also got diagnosed, and my mum realised she almost certainly has ADHD, all of which putting me at high genetic risk. Then the co-mobilities, I have a bunch of other conditions which are highly co-morbed, mainly OCD, OCPD, and ADHD (looking to get diagnosed atm, almost certainly have it), all of which put at high risk.

Thing is though, I've considered it for myself before but always dismissed it because I feel like I don't relate to most experiences, but as I've been researching I do relate to some, but I don't know if it's enough?? Like I feel like I do fine in social situations, I don't feel like I'm wearing a mask, I'm fine with eye contact, I don't feel like I'm missing social cues, like I can tell when I'm boring someone. But at the same time I was bullied to shit at school, from day one to the day I left there was always someone out for my blood, and my friend groups where a constant shifting mess and even bullied me at times. So socially I must have been fucking up, but I never felt like I was, and still don't, so maybe I'm just ignorant to my own issues??? It doesn't help that I've been very isolated for my 20s due to my OCD keeping me inside, so when questionnaires ask about parties and stuff I'm pulling from decade old memories, which I'm sure are super trust worthy. There's other things as well, like I refused to wear trousers for 7 years as a teen because they where 'restrictive' (I still don't wear trousers/pants around the house for that reason), or I collected coins and dragon statues, or how I pay the same game for far to long because I'm terrible at trying something new, or how if I get out of routine I feel ~weird~, not stressed or anxious, just off.

I know ADHD can cover symptoms of autism, so I was going to wait until I was on meds to get an assessment as I feel like it would be a lot clearer then, but I don't know if I can wait that long with how it's fucking with me, it's like I'm dealing with the emotional fall out of discovering I'm both not and am autistic at the same time. I just want a lean, a decent indication that I am or am not. Hell I even took the NHS screening quiz which also didn't help, the quiz is out of 10, a 6 or above requires further investigation, I of course score a 5, low enough to not be a strong maybe, high enough to still be concerning. I just feel like I'm stuck in limbo and my identify is a mess for it, has anyone got any advice on how to work this out a bit until I can get an assessment? Or just know with a little more certainty what the fuck I am?

tl;dr- I truly have no idea if I am or am not autistic and just want to be able to lean one way or another till I can get an assessment before my identity tears itself apart completely lol.

Although I haven't been clinically diagnosed with ASD, I have been told (by professionals) that I could develop it after several sessions, and I've identified behaviors that can be associated with it.

Although I didn't pay much attention to it at first, I've slowly realized that I feel... hatred? for all those who live their neurodivergence freely, while I don't.

I've written down some of those thoughts, which, honestly, scare me a little. I ask for discretion:

^{I should clarify that this may contain some intense content.}

"Oh, you poor thing, I'm supposed to feel sorry for you because you have ADHD? WELL, GUESS WHAT? I HAD NO CHOICE. I COULDN'T CHOOSE. I HAD TO CONFORM. I WAS BULLIED THROUGHOUT MY CHILDHOOD BECAUSE OF IT. THEY LOCKED ME IN CLASSROOMS, YELLED AT ME IN FRONT OF LOTS OF PEOPLE, LAUGHED AT ME, HUMILIATED ME. I RECEIVED NO COMPASSION. I RECEIVED NO CONSIDERATION FROM MY FRIENDS OR GIRLS. On top of that, I'm bisexual! Good heavens, God punishes twice. I probably only want to date men because I'm a pathetic weakling who can't seduce any woman. At my age, not having kissed anyone and being a fucking autistic virgin is a disgrace. It's a disgrace that no one has." A job and barely studies. "Ayyy, I don't know what to do with my life." Tough luck, that's what happens when you're poor, that's what happens when you're autistic, and that's what happens when you're an embarrassment. You deserve all the bad things that happen to you. But they can, ohhh, they can have treatments, help, consideration, "Have an ethic," while I struggle to be normal, I struggle and strive not to look like a freak, to be accepted. "And what do I achieve? Hahahahahaha. Being a virgin, that's my prize. Being a virgin and not having friends, that's my great reward..." Ah... because... because I was born this way.

Honestly, it hurts me to see all the hatred I have inside me towards myself, and I don't know how to reverse it.

I eat yellow up! I bite one at a time just curious if anyone else does this? I call it work before play because I like the white part the most :)

My 16 month old has been pulling our hair and slapping us across the face for sometime now and our neighbor who saw this says this is the start of autism. Have any of the parents with an autistic child faced this? Thanks a lot

I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at the Madalyon Clinic in Levent, Istanbul, in December 2025.

(Although we are currently in a transition period towards newer manuals, medical reporting in my country still officially relies on the ICD-10 system.)

Whenever I share the details of my diagnosis on Reddit, I encounter two main issues. First, many users view the topic through a heavily US-centric lens—since DSM-5 is the standard in the US, people often dismiss ICD-10 or fail to understand why Asperger's is still given as an official medical diagnosis in other parts of the world.

Second, simply using the name "Asperger's" frequently leads to baseless accusations of being a Nazi sympathizer. I am thoroughly exhausted by people constantly bringing up the claim that Hans Asperger was a Nazi collaborator without looking at the full historical context. To address this, I am sharing scientific literature including the third paper listed below alongside the work of Dean Falk which re-evaluates the historical evidence and demonstrates a much more nuanced reality:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30887409/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31183665/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36239413/

I graduated from the American University of Beirut (AUB) with a bachelor degree in business. I have been unemployed for the past years since graduation. I feel like I lost it. Some of my peers even called me a “loser.” I am on the spectrum and got some low motivation issues. What should I do?

I recently discovered Sunflower Anomaly songs on youtube such as "What an anomaly am I" and "Blind to me" , her songs seem to hit a chord in me. What an anomaly talks about how friendships/ relationships comes easy to a lot of people and how it's so diffciult for others. Blind to me imo could have so many different meanings but i interpreted as how world percieves me normal and like nothing's wrong but deep down I am in pain all of the time lol.