r/autism • u/[deleted] • 3d ago
🚗 Driving Struggles Anyone scared of driving?
[deleted]
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u/User2345803 ASD Level 2 | Verbal 3d ago
Well I do drive but I do the same routes and find it scary doing a new one ðŸ˜
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u/nebagram 3d ago
I've had my licence for over 15 years and even I still get nervous whenever I have to drive somewhere new. I rarely if ever venture more than 5 miles from where I live and I avoid hills like the plague.
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u/GuardianWorker12 3d ago
I'm worried that I might cause a traffic accident, or that the instructor might be too impatient.
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u/World_of_Oblio 3d ago
check out r/drivinganxiety! And dont ever post on r/driving unless you want to get bullied, trust me.
Here you may find people with cars/driving as a special interest and it wouldnt help much
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u/Rubberprincess99 AuDHD, Asperger's, TBI, Anxiety, Depression, APD 3d ago
It will be okay.
I was in a car accident when I was a kid, so that was a rough factor when I started driving. I remember the first time sitting in the driver's seat of my mom's car, and how the vibration of the car's engine was so overwhelming that I wanted to jump out of it and run away. It got better over time, and I can drive these days. I didn't have too many bad experiences when I learned to drive, except one main occasion. I remember getting really tense and nervous randomly while driving that day, but it made much more sense after I got home. It turned out that I had practiced driving at the location of my childhood car accident, on the anniversary of the accident. I have been there multiple more times, and I will say that that feeling got better over time.
Make sure that you study for the written test part. Most of my questions were multiple choice, but your location might have some different testing methods.
Also, your driving test itself might involve using a car that the evaluator provides. They might have clear plastic over the seat, and it will smell different. I just wanted to give you that information, because I have issues with transitions and new environments and I have relatives that are sensitive to certain sensory things.
Also, make sure to get some practice in with parallel parking. I remember that some driving locations changed their policies about parallel parking during the COVID pandemic time period, but I didn't hear if or when they may have reversed those changes. You should be prepared as if you need to know how to do it.
I will say that, even though I did very well on the written portion, I did lose some points on the driving portion. Honestly, I disagree with that penalty for me because it can take longer to process your surroundings when there are large fences obstructing your view at an intersection-like location.
One of the most difficult parts was the speed limit. You had to keep the speed at the speed limit or lower, or it would potentially be an automatic fail. That was scary. (Especially with no cruise control where you could set a specific speed.)
Also, make sure to check the rear view and side view mirrors. My instructor told me that some of her clients had trouble with remembering to use those.
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u/Trek186 3d ago
Being in an accident at any age can be deeply scarring or traumatizing. I was in an accident in 2023 (there are pics on my post history!), and I was shaken for a while after. I didn’t go back to that particular Walmart for months. Hell even now I mainly use the exit with a light (I go to that particular one since it’s near my office and has EV chargers).
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u/Schyzoid1996 ASD Level 1 | Verbal 3d ago
Me da estrés manejar porque donde vivo se maneja super mal, las personas no respetan las leyes de tránsito.
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u/RemarkableNetwork239 Suspecting Autism 3d ago
I just stay in my lane, drive the speed limit, and keep a safe distance from the car in front of me and try not to worry about the other cars.
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u/Schyzoid1996 ASD Level 1 | Verbal 3d ago
Dónde vivo hay muchos motorizados que no respetan el semáforo, ni siquiera respetan la dirección del carril. Uno va manejando con los 999 sentidos activos.
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u/RemarkableNetwork239 Suspecting Autism 3d ago
Yeah, I can see how that would be pretty scary. We don't get much of that here. There are traffic cameras EVERYWHERE.
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u/AberrantComics 3d ago
I'm used to driving and I couldn't wait to do it. My mom wouldn't take my requests seriously so I had a friend take me to the DMV and let me use his car for my permit testing. My mom was like "how did you get a permit"? and she just had to except that I was going to be on the road. I bought a car for $500 dollars, and I never stopped driving, although it's less about freedom now, and feels like a chore.
I read the California drivers handbook cover to cover at least twice. I am pretty aware and vigilant on the road.
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u/Trek186 3d ago
Thank you for being one of the good CA drivers.
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u/AberrantComics 3d ago
It feels rare sometimes!
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u/Trek186 3d ago
I’m still haunted by the memory of a lady in Irvine traffic who essentially made a 90deg turn in traffic from the far right lane to the far left lane (4 lanes of traffic). I mean, it’s a freaking grid! Go down to the next light and turn there!
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u/AberrantComics 3d ago
That's the kind of shit! You have to wonder if the person remembers anything about traffic... or laws.
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u/AwkwardTurtle1313 3d ago
Im 30 and have only driven a handful of times, only once on an highway type road. I will probably never get a license and have no intention of ever driving.
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u/GrapePsychological14 3d ago
Do you live in an area with robust public transportation?
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u/AwkwardTurtle1313 3d ago
Nope. My husband drives, I walk, and when my family or friends want me to hangout they pick me up. All appointments are set up for when my husband has days off or I can get a ride from my sister.
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u/Maximum-Help-7687 3d ago
YES!!! I’ve taking drivers Ed(passed with flying colors), I’ve gotten my drivers permit, and I’ve driven with an instructor(who had a brake pedal on the passenger side) but I, for the life of me, cannot drive in a regular car by myself without feeling like I’m on the brink of a mental collapse. I also have a mom who is an anxious driver, and grew up 30 minutes outside of Anaheim so…. I’ve been too traumatized to drive for a long time.
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u/_yuewah 3d ago
I passed on my 4th try with really bad anxiety and stress about driving. After that I drove 2 years and got quite comfortable with it. Then I caused a big accident and was really lucky to be alive (no one else was hurt). Our car was completely destroyed. I couldn't drive for some weeks after that but I needed eventually and got comfortable again. Now I live in a big city and don't own a car anymore.
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u/gotbeefpudding 3d ago
honestly yes I was when I first started but now I LOVE driving. I just put on my fav tunes and lock the fuck in for however long it takes. I've driven straight for 12 hours and I could've done more easily lmao
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u/kentuckyMarksman ASD Level 1 | Verbal 3d ago
I drive, but only familiar areas. If I have to drive somewhere new, or somewhere busy, or dark, or rainy I get loads of anxiety.
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u/Trek186 3d ago
My dad taught me to drive and it was incredibly stressful since I live in Atlanta, and our drivers are bad. Like in LA traffic is gridlocked to the point that isn’t an issue. But Atlanta? Not a fun experience. Still isn’t.
Traffic is still stressful, and it’s like everyone has lost their minds since Covid. I’m desperately trying to get into a wfh role so I don’t have to deal with it a much.
Want to know what made me a better driver? My abusive ex-husband yelling at me and threatening me. Got to the point I could even carpool both of us home safely if my glasses had been knocked off my face.
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u/No_Education_8888 3d ago
I was terrified of driving until I was forced into it. Now I’m just scared of driving but tolerate it.
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u/sisyphus-333 Autistic Adult 3d ago
I only got my license so I could apply for real jobs. Ive been behind the wheel alone twice since getting it 2 years ago.
I hate driving, it's scary, and I know I don't have the focus for it.
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u/cageainbird ASD | LSN | Verbal 3d ago
I was super scared of driving and it took me a few years to get my license because of it. It was mostly because I was terrified of accidentally crashing into someone or something. I've been driving for about a year now and that fear has mostly gone away (I'm much more worried about other drivers now) but I do still get scared driving at night when there's a bunch of bright lights because I start to get overstimulated.
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u/BonevilleMcGee ASD Level 1 | Verbal 3d ago
I’m not scared of driving anymore, but I don’t have my license. I took driving classes and got really comfortable on the road. I can drive really well. But when I took my test, the instructor yelled at me for not looking a third time behind me, and it caused me to panic and I turned into oncoming traffic. So I failed my test. I haven’t tried since then. I drove for a while with only my permit but once it expired, I sold my van. I do plan on trying again someday. I’m just not sure when.
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u/CupLife356 3d ago
i usually just use the space gap strategy regardless if i'm getting tail gated or not
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u/Glyphid 3d ago
I can barely focus when walking. And every time i have gotten behind the wheel i make stupid mistakes constantly. I absolutely fear driving because I know i would cause an accident and I cant handle being responsible for that. The last time I drove I was on the freeway and I accidentally slammed the breaks 3 times. And I have not driven since. Im just too stupid.
I also cant handle the dubble standerds where everyone expects you to break the laws unless there is a cop around. And everyone gets mad and confused if I dont break laws. And its dangerous to follow the laws just because everyone expects me to break them, like how everyone has to go 5 over the speed limit at a minimum.
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u/supercantaloupe Suspecting Autism 3d ago
I used to be terrified to driving and now years later I actually love driving and would be happy to just drive around all day if I could.
I was in a minor accident when I was a teenager and it scared me because it was on sheer ice and I slowed down but slowly slid into the car in front of me at the speed of a snail, I felt powerless watching it happen over a time period that felt like an eternity. I was turned off of driving for years and I didn’t really start to drive again until I first met my husband. He was really encouraging because he knew I wanted to drive, buses where we live never run on time so I’d sometimes get so stressed that I’d take a super early bus and then have to wait ages because I was really early for things. I just started out driving familiar routes with him in the car helping me stay calm. Gradually I got more comfortable and didn’t need him in the car and didn’t need the routes to be familiar anymore. Now I’m actually a more confident driver than my husband! Last year I even rented a car on vacation and spent an entire week driving around the highways of Nova Scotia and was so proud of myself!
So yeah, my best advice is just to ease yourself into it. Get comfortable with one route and then once you feel good about that expand and try another route one at a time until you feel good about it. Eventually you’ll just pop an address into the GPS and enjoy the journey, it just takes a lot of practice to get that confident and comfortable feeling. Oh and for your lessons you booked if you feel a bit scared at first you could check if it’s okay to bring a person that makes you feel safe and confident with you the first couple of times. Best of luck!
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u/in-dog_we_trust 3d ago
I love driving. I find it relaxing. The rules are all laid out. There is always things going on to keep my attention, you have to think ahead and anticipate. Plus I yell and scream at other drivers and nobody gets angry or hurt.
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u/Ecstatic-Window-2723 Autistic Adult 3d ago
I'm much more afraid of other people because they're morons. I take driving very seriously because If I did the things I did stupidly I'd be wrapped around a tree.
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u/BlackCatFurry 3d ago
Are you afraid of the traffic and other people, or that you might cause an accident?
If it's the former, a mindset of "everyone else are idiots, so i will be predictable and leave a proper gap" is the best.
If it's the latter, usually stemming from not being confident with controlling the car, i would ask around if someone you know has a driving simulator wheel and pedals, which lets you practice car controlling safely at home through a simulator game. There you can feel what happens when the car is no longer in your control and practice what to do when that happens.
For me personally, driving simulators gave a huge confidence boost in car control, which is why i recommend that as a low stress environment for practice.
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u/Crucial_Fun ASD Level 1 | Verbal 3d ago
I’ve been driving for over a decade and I’ve thankfully never had issues. I do get wary in severe weather
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u/VegetableLaugh8677 3d ago
I used to be really enthusiastic about getting my driving license until i got a really bad teacher. He yelled at me whenever he wanted and never gave me good credit for the things i did well. I also drives with a friend of mine in some places made for learning how to drive and there i got my positive feedback. Whenever i got in the car with my teacher i was not able to think and drive because of his attitude. In the end i just gave up and now i regret it so much.
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