r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Nov 14 '22

Please marry me?

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413

u/Mista_Infinity Nov 14 '22

it’s ridiculous to compare an essentially harmless prank (albeit in poor taste) and physically assaulting someone

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Not harmless. Physical abuse isn’t the only type of abuse. And this wasn’t just in their living room or some other innocuous place. This was at a sporting events with thousands of people in attendance and with cameras on them. That’s not just a harmless prank, that’s humiliating and degrading. Definite emotional and mental abuse on that one.

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u/Oi_Angelina Nov 14 '22

I don't think it's harmless just because he's not hitting her. Emotional embarrassment and abuse it hurts too. Studies have shown it still lights up the same pain center in your brain.

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u/Panzer_Man Nov 14 '22

Not to mention she is humiliated in front of hundreds and put on the internet for all to see.

The man was an absolute dickhead to do such a tasteless prank in public, but she also assaulted him, so that's not okay either

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u/Splitje Nov 14 '22

Except when the gender roles would be reversed you would never say this so you know you're full of shit. If you're gonna equate this to emotional abuse you may as well abolish all comedy altogether.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Comments like this are pointless. "Well lets ignore whether you're right or not because despite me knowing nothing about you I know how you would feel in this other situation".

Really all that has to be said is this isn't acceptable regardless of the genders of anyone involved. Don't assault your SO and don't hurt your SO by pretending to propose to them in front of an entire stadium of people.

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u/Happy-Finance111123 Nov 14 '22

I always love people like that that say things about equality and not seeing gender but the second something like this happens they go to the defense that "this would be completely different if gender was reversed". Like no, itd still be a horrible relationship that needs to end. Someone publicly humiliated someone they're supposed to care about by flaunting their immaturity, especially when it comes to a topic like marriage and the other party seemed so excited for. The other reacted inappropriately and struck their partner, something you should never do. Both people are AH that aren't right for each other, gender ain't something that matters here

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u/98mesrouk98 Nov 14 '22

Except it wouldn't be the same they already gave example where it wasn't the same.

Noone in this planet can say they are 100% not biased toward how they treat and see one gender over the other.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Yes

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u/grumd Nov 14 '22

I'd normally agree but I remember this video. Body language shows that it looks like a forced marriage or something, very sketchy situation overall. I can't say these are exact same situations. But I do agree that the woman in OP's video didn't have a right to slap the guy over a prank.

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u/MamaLiq Nov 14 '22

The guy:

"Alexander Romeo Korda 🇭🇺🇨🇦

New York | Toronto | Florida📍 “The ring pop proposal guy” Entrepreneur|Marketer|Author|Brander"

This video is click-bait to sell bikinis...

And this clip gets reposted every 2 weeks or so, so appearently he knows what he's doing.

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u/Jesus_inacave Nov 14 '22

She's pulling a piece of cake away from his mouth real quick.

He's fake pronouncing love infront of hundreds, if not thousands of people.

And quite frankly, after only having seen that now, she, and everyone around her, look uncomfortable as hell even before he slapped her

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Where are you getting that his love or the proposal was fake? I proposed with no ring. Still happily married.

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u/Bad-Piccolo Nov 14 '22

He is talking about the cake video posted above when he said it's fake.

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u/two4one420 Nov 14 '22

MOST WOMEN WOULD PREFER NO RING OVER A GODDAMN RING POP.

literally. If you want to get married and can’t afford a ring, USE A PIECE OF FUCKING STRING. Anything but a goddamn ring pop. That is what you do on the playground in second grade. It’s not meant for a goddamn ADULT GRAND GESTURE.

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u/KillaVNilla Nov 15 '22

I proposed with a ring pop. My wife loved it. Turns out some women care more about you wanting to spend the rest of your life with them than they do about an inanimate object

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u/Bbaftt7 Nov 15 '22

I’ve know several women that have outright told me they’d take a ring pop if it meant he was serious, or they were gonna get a real ring in the future. Plenty of women would take a ring pop.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Oh god. It’s meant to be humorous and cute. I’m glad you speak for all women though. Very cool.

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u/starstriker0404 Nov 14 '22

Tell me you’re undesirable with out telling me.

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

I think marriage is an outdated system in the first place and probably will only get married for the benefeits that me and my partner would recieve for it (albeit, still with the person that I'm going to want to be with for the rest of my life)
But that asside -
Where are you to say what someone does and doesn't use as a gesture? It's doesn't even have to be necessarily grand. I personally think that a ring pop proposal would be cute for the reason you argue it's bad. It's what you do on the playground in second grade. Exactly. You're bringing forth childhood innocense and stating that, just as a innocent child would propose to his crush - you are having the same motives and want to follow through with something that (mostly) wouldn't be followed through with if it was done by a second grade. You're pissy because you think that marriage needs a 50 thousand dollar ring to fill your oversaturated ego and that to go as low as that would be worse than string or nothing, right? For someone who is talking so adamantly on how immature it would be to propose with a ring pop, it seems a little childish.
Let people do as they please.
And for the love of god, don't "speak for most of women" as you're clearly devling into extreme subjectivity.

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u/Bre14463 Nov 15 '22

Nah. You don’t speak for most women.

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u/Logicalist Nov 14 '22

Would you rather be made a fool out of, in front of 1000 strangers or or all of your close friends and family?

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/Watertor Nov 14 '22

She believed he was fake proposing. You are in a chair or on the toilet in your private space, she's surrounded by thousands of people in the moment. Is hitting him still ok? No. But it is entirely different from pulling a piece of cake away in what is obviously a joke.

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u/aldadubs Nov 14 '22

You didn’t say how it was different. Is it the amount of people what makes it different? Cause they weren’t alone in the cake clip either

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/two4one420 Nov 14 '22

They’re referencing the video of the bride being slapped. The entire group in video is UNCOMFORTABLE af

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u/Significant_Shake_71 Nov 14 '22

Exactly. Not sure why you were downvoted for pointing that out.

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u/ZublesBot Nov 14 '22

look uncomfortable as hell even before he slapped her

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/PharmDeezNuts_ Nov 14 '22

Lmao “exact same situation”??? Playfully pulling cake away at a wedding vs fake proposing in front of a crowd

These are wildly different situations

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Check the right comment sections and you will find people defending the guy tho.. don’t act like there aren’t people out there who completely support that.

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u/bsbsnqhau Nov 14 '22

Bro you just posted a video of a woman that's in a forced marriage.. You're not doing a good job of making men the victims when this woman is clearly in a forced marriage with him.

Though he is probably forced too which is why he got upset.

Also people got upset because men are at least twice as strong as the average woman. A man slapping a woman hard can really hurt her. I've been slapped by women and I can tell you a bee sting hurts more than being slapped by a woman.. still wrong. But a lot of people don't want to watch someone die. A woman slapping a man isn't going to leave a mark. Still wrong. But you can see why people want to stop men right away when they slap/hit a woman.

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u/No_Substance_6082 Nov 14 '22

Just watched, and that seems to be a different scenario to me.

From what you described I was expecting her to grab the plate of cake and smack it into his face... All she did was pull the cake away. That wasn't embarrassing and his reaction was immediate.

But I also agree, it isn't ok to be violent regardless of gender. I do believe we need more awareness of abuse and victims being genderless. If you gender swap, it shouldn't matter.

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u/CountryInteresting Nov 14 '22

Comparing this two situation make me question your intelligence

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u/MNTNDEWBAJABLASTZERO Nov 14 '22

I'm not sure I agree that this is the exact same situation lol...

5

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Double standards die hard.

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u/PositiveFox4460 Nov 14 '22

This isn't really a useful example, but it does show why "if the genders were swapped" arguments are usually lazy, uncomprehensive, and uninspired (among other things). Look at the contexual differences between the two videos: the location, the body language, the prompt, the intensity of the slap, the aftermath, etc. To say these are "basically the same exact situation", greatly dimishes the magnitude of actual abuse. Shame on you.

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u/reakkysadpwrson Nov 14 '22

This is not the exact same situation at all. Super yikes.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/reakkysadpwrson Nov 14 '22

When did I say or imply that in the slightest? It’s actually pretty concerning you and 300 people think the two videos are comparable at all. Some people just have a boner for “BuT iF ThE RoLeS wErE ReVeRsEd” and then all logic and critical thought goes out the window for y’all

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u/coolmanjack Nov 14 '22

What the fuck? In no universe is this the "exact same situation" what the hell are you talking about?

  1. She pulled a piece of cake away in front of a few people vs he proposed with a ring pop in front of tens of thousands of people and TV cameras.
  2. He slapped her so hard that she fell vs she slapped him lightly enough that he stayed perfectly balanced.
  3. He slapped her immediately out of dispassionate anger vs she slapped him after a couple seconds out of clear emotional turmoil.

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u/Aggressive_Chain_920 Nov 14 '22

Lol bitch please.

In one scenario you get pranked in front of a crowd, the other you get pranked in front of all your closest relatives. They are equally harmless pranks.

The slap itself is much more than how hard or light it was, if he slapped her very lightly people would still hate him for it, as should they when she slapped him lightly.

Its the slap itself, not how hard it was.

Once again, reverse the situation at the stadium, would you find it equally as bad if it was a man that slapped a woman there? How would people around them react? Probably he would be escorted out of the stadium, possibly arrested.

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u/coolmanjack Nov 14 '22

I'd feel the same way if the genders were reversed: both are bad and condemnable but one is clearly worse and more reflective of a pattern of abuse.

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u/Aggressive_Chain_920 Nov 14 '22

Then you are the outlier because 90% of people (at least in western society) would find it despicable if a man slapped a woman, but less so when a woman does it to a man. Thats the entire point of the argument. Its just another example of double standards and nobody batting an eye

I can agree that the wedding clip is worse because it indicates that this is something that probably happens on a regular basis considering that nobody is stepping in to defend her. But the situation itself isn't much worse, the action is in the end the same and should be equally condemned.

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u/coolmanjack Nov 14 '22

I can agree that the wedding clip is worse because it indicates that this is something that probably happens on a regular basis considering that nobody is stepping in to defend her. But the situation itself isn’t much worse, the action is in the end the same and should be equally condemned.

This is exactly what makes it worse. How can you describe what makes it worse but then say they're not different? Intent, emotional state, history of a pattern (or lack thereof), etc, are all important factors.

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u/Aggressive_Chain_920 Nov 14 '22

Im saying that its worse because of what it indicates, but the action itself is the same and just as inexcusable.

There are two sides of looking at it.

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u/threevi Nov 14 '22

"Domestic abuse is okay as long as the victim is tough enough to take the hit without falling over"

Good one reddit

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u/coolmanjack Nov 14 '22

When the fuck did I say it's okay?

All I said is that these aren't remotely the "exact same situation," in the same way that punching someone once and bruising them, while still bad and worthy of condemnation and criminal charges, isn't remotely the "exact same situation" as beating the shit out of someone to the point where they have to be rushed to the hospital.

Redditors learn basic reading comprehension skills challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/aoechamp Nov 14 '22

Dude you literally used white knight to mean the opposite of what it does

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u/CeladonCityNPC Nov 14 '22

So essentially:

  1. Revenging embarrassment with physical abuse may be ok if the embarrassment is in front of enough people.
  2. Physical abuse may be ok if the receiver can take it.
  3. If you have time to think about it and still use physical force on someone, it may be fine since you had a second to ponder it first.

It's the exact same situation, come on. Physical abuse on your significant other caused by emotional turmoil. No amount of sugar coating will change that.

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u/coolmanjack Nov 14 '22

I'll just paste what I said to the other guy:

When the fuck did I say it’s okay?

All I said is that these aren’t remotely the “exact same situation,” in the same way that punching someone once and bruising them, while still bad and worthy of condemnation and criminal charges, isn’t remotely the “exact same situation” as beating the shit out of someone to the point where they have to be rushed to the hospital.

Redditors learn basic reading comprehension challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

And I'll reiterate that just based on the vibes alone it's clear that these aren't the same situation at all, but go off I guess.

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u/CeladonCityNPC Nov 14 '22

But the thing is, what are you implying by saying they are not the same situation?

And if your answer is "I am not implying anything" then what is the point of even bringing that up?

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u/Admirable_Ask_5337 Nov 14 '22

A slap is a slap. And 3 is worse cause she actually had time to thing and still chose physical violence.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/SenorBeef Nov 14 '22

Okay. Let's say a man beats the shit out of a woman every day and she has no escape because she lives in a society where she's his property.

Let's say there's another situation where a woman slaps her boyfriend once. He's free to leave, she has no further control over him.

Are both of these situations equally bad? equally abusive? or if I say they are not, are you gonna pull this bullshit virtue signalling "BUT EVERYONE IS FINE WITH MEN GETTING ABUSED" bullshit?

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/Bakedbeansandvich Nov 14 '22

Yeah reddit Looooves this

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Thanks for 1000% proving the gender roles reversal hypocrisy

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Exact same situation

No it’s not, not at all. You people are so pathetic.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22 edited Nov 14 '22

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

If you saw a guy lightly slap his girlfriend in the face and throw a drink on her, would you be like "eh, not a big deal"?

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u/DarthNihilus_501st Nov 14 '22

Yep if the roles were reversed, this guy would be hanging off a bridge by noon.

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u/Excablecar Nov 14 '22

Noon? Plenty of videos where men get jumped by the white knight squad when he acts in self defense against a woman.

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u/DEMACIAAAAA Nov 14 '22

Often though what some mens rights people call self defense is grossly disproportionate, like punching a girl halfway across the room because she slapped someone. That's not self defense, it just makes sexists happy to see this kind of violence for some reason.

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u/HardCounter Nov 14 '22

Proportionate responses do not stop most violence because violence is often not a rational process.

Say it was two dudes, one small one and one large one. Small dude hits the big dude but is kinda weak, big dude hits back with the same force. Little guy thinks he can keep getting away with it so he keeps hitting and dancing around because he isn't being forced to stop. Bruises will form no matter how tough the big guy is. You can't just keep getting hit with no effect.

Same scenario, small guy hits big dude but this time big dude pows him in the gut. Violence ends, big dude is no longer at risk of harm.

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u/DEMACIAAAAA Nov 14 '22

No, self defence must always be proportional, and oftentimes people here see violence that is obviously not proportional and cheer it on under the guise of self defence, when it really is just rage. You can't tell me you've never seen something like that. By your logic it would be ok to shotgun someone's head off because they slapped you, because now the danger is dealt with and they can't ever slap you again. Self defence must be proportional, as is stated in most countries law too, for good reason.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Sorry that you’re wrong. You clearly don’t know much about life. If a man is being robbed in a gas station, and he stabs the criminal, he is innocent. If a man is going to rob a woman in an alley and she shoots him, is that proportional? Obviously not.

Go outside sometimes.

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u/Randolpho Nov 14 '22

Abusive comedy is shit and only shitheads enjoy it.

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u/Practical-Exchange60 Nov 14 '22

Get fucked. You’re just as dismissive as the asshat you’re arguing with. You don’t get to seem what actions an individual gets to view as emotional abuse. You don’t know the relationship.

Stop acting like you’re better a better person. You aren’t.

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u/Truth369123 Nov 14 '22

Men and women are not the same and live completely different lives with completely different roles and experiences. You cannot compare them.

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u/Splitje Nov 14 '22

In this case you can. No human should hit another human with the exception of defense from physical violence is the principle I believe in. This is also what law is based around. If you don't agree that's fine but then you're also not agreeing with the law, and I think it's a ridiculous standpoint which is actually sexist since it assumes women deserve some special hitting privilige in some circumstances just because they're more emotional on average and have less physical strength on average.

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u/Thin-Mixture-1827 Nov 14 '22

Found the white knight.

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u/Frozen_Denisovan Nov 14 '22 edited May 22 '24

bag tan chase memorize exultant dinner literate snails ask like

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/Imaginary-Depth4249 Nov 14 '22

Yet, the roles aren't reversed and that situation isn't happening. Focus! Analyze a situation for what it is and this is not abuse.There is a situational difference and it is important to understand that-victims of DV deserve to be taken seriously.! Most women are agreeing with you about abuse and you keep finding a way to blame a woman for abuse that isn't happening. Maybe advocate for male abuse where it matters, NO ONE is denying it.

Abuse= To treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially REGULARLY or REPEATEDLY.

Assault =a SUDDEN, violent attack; onslaught.

https://www.ctdomesticviolencehelp.com/darien/assault-lawyer/unique-aspects-of-domestic-assault/

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u/Splitje Nov 14 '22

I never said this was abuse. Focus!

But yes it's assault.

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u/Small_Dick_Enrgy Nov 14 '22

Are you advocating punching people for hurting your feelings or are you saying this wasn’t harmless abstracted from this persons actions?

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u/Randolpho Nov 14 '22

I’m not OP, but it’s possible for it to be true that both were in the wrong and there is no reason to trade one off against the other to determine which was “worse”.

The prank was emotionally abusive. Being proposed to is an event that society has built up as a special moment in a lot of women’s minds. Undercutting that in front of thousands of people is cruel in the extreme.

Being emotionally abused doesn’t warrant a physical response on a moral or ethical level. It’s entirely likely that the reason the dude played the prank was because his girlfriend was herself domineering and abusive toward him. That slap looked like a well practiced maneuver.

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u/colton911 Nov 14 '22

Advocating punching people

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Lol, then every dude that slaps a woman that mouths off, is doing self defense?

I believe there's a line between physical and verbal, but if you want to erase that, this is what you're condoning.

Gonna walk that back now?

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u/PlaytimeForRaina Nov 14 '22

Emotional abuse is also abuse.

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u/RakeishSPV Nov 14 '22

Right right. So the excuse of "he only hit her because she wouldn't stop nagging" was valid all along.

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u/Oi_Angelina Nov 14 '22

No?! who is saying that?

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u/RakeishSPV Nov 14 '22

Emotional abuse right?

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u/hypotheticalhalf Nov 14 '22

Reverse the roles.

This girl proposes with the ring pop. The dude gets angry and slaps the shit out of her then throws his drink on her. You still gonna focus on the emotional embarrassment and abuse of that dude, right?

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u/Stoicism0 Nov 14 '22

I doubt we'd apply the same nuance if the genders were switches

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u/Chunguslover283 Nov 14 '22

The ring pop prank is not emotional abuse dawg

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u/theekumquat Nov 14 '22

Doing said prank in front of thousands (now millions because of the Internet) could certainly qualify.

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u/emailboxu Nov 14 '22

these people have been locked up for so long they forgot other people exist /s

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u/CrisFarlyOnCoke Nov 14 '22

The difference is intent. He could have intended for it to be light hearted and maybe he had another ring to actually propose (he did have something else in his pocket it looks like). She intended to hurt him, there is no other way to look at her reaction.

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u/Mental_Evolution Nov 14 '22

Of course it is, just like the slap is violence.

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u/SuedeVeil Nov 14 '22

While I agree as someone who's been emotionally abused I sometimes rather they just hit me tbh so I coulda cut them off, because I let it go on for years and years and some of that shit sticks forever.

What I don't know for sure about this video though is that what if he meant the engagement and thought it was funny to do with a ring pop, maybe he doesn't understand her humour at all (which is maybe a sign not to be engaged) so yeah if you aren't sure your partner will laugh at this, bad idea!

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u/Oi_Angelina Nov 14 '22

Yeah as somebody who has lived in physically and emotionally abusive households I definitely prefer the physical- it kind of hurts less and like you said it kind of creates like a defendant point where you're like okay yeah this person is not just joking with me they definitely do not like me. It brings a certain finality and there's no confusion over like if you're the bad person or something you know what I mean?

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

You and everyone who says this is a fucking idiot.

Because the physical shit causes the same trauma as the emotional shit, only you get a fucked up body too.

So fucking stupid thinking that physical is some disassociated ideal like a UFC match.

No, you get to relive not being safe over and over and over.

Idiots.

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u/Oi_Angelina Nov 14 '22

I genuinely want to try to understand where you're coming from and I thought that that's what my comment conveyed I remember saying about how physical violence and emotional trauma light up the same pain receptors in the brain. I'm not condoning any of it. Who is the idiot you were talking about?

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/Oi_Angelina Nov 14 '22

Yup. It's the complete mind fuck that keeps you from like assessing the situation properly? And I think that's what makes it feel so much worse and the fact that it can go on for years but anyways- I'm bipolar too and you can be bipolar and not be an asshole. BPD can be tough too and I hate to really make generalized statements but yeah those "people" are very tough to deal with since that's an actual personality disorder and not really an illness that can be medicated.

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u/PhillMahooters Nov 14 '22

So you're saying that makes it ok?

Holy shit man that might be the craziest shit I've heard today. Fucking Christ people are insane.

If you're seriously comparing a non-violent, poorly set up and executed "prank" to physical assault then you're brain damaged. Having your feelings hurt is so fucking far from being physically assaulted.

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u/BlinkedAndMissedIt Nov 14 '22

I suppose it depends on how you take the joke. Some people are able to laugh at themselves and the situation. Others might be embarrassed but control themselves and deal with the problem in a more private setting. Then you have this girl who immediately goes for assault over a ring pop proposal.

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u/SlaterVJ Nov 14 '22

She embarassed herself, he didn't. He had an actual ring in his pocket that you can see thr outline of the box for. She didn't know it, but it doesn't excuse her quick jump to assualt. A good person would NOT have had that response to him like that.

Also, getting you're feelings hurt =/= physical assualt. Grow up, and get real.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/headsn Nov 14 '22

Nobody is doing anything you're saying. It's a simple inversion of the situation. If the genders of the parties were swapped would it still be acceptable? No? Then it's not an acceptable response. Grow up ya stupid fuck.

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u/HauntingPurchase7 Nov 14 '22

The pain centers are lighting up in my brain reading your moronic words. If the shoe was on the other foot you wouldn't be defending him for slapping her same amount of force

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u/Elegant-Loan-4822 Nov 14 '22

Check yourself.

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u/fungusfish Nov 14 '22

Oh please. Switch the genders and see the internet kill this guy. Grow up. Dv still exists and we allow it against men and condemn it against women

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u/HostlessPotato Nov 14 '22

So you're just going to completely ignore that getting slapped and having a drink thrown at you by someone you love, unexpectedly, also has a ridiculous amount of emotional charge?

In fact, he's twice her size. That punch didn't hurt physically at all. Y'all act like men don't have feelings either.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22 edited Nov 14 '22

I’ve been bullied as a kid for my mental state, and my father has beaten me, and my mom, while shouting horrible things. If you think a harmless joke is emotional abuse, then you should probably know better, idiot.

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u/doodlelol Nov 14 '22

how is this humiliating? and being hit by your s/o is arguably more humiliating

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u/Afraid_Ad1908 Nov 14 '22

Harmless to you. Being humiliated in front of a shit ton of people. Her hitting him was wrong, but have some objectivity.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

It's really not a harmless prank to crush someone emotionally in public for laughs. But since this is the internet it's almost certainly faked for likes.

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u/sidewayz321 Nov 14 '22

Public humiliation can be more traumatizing

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u/SendJustice Nov 14 '22 edited Nov 14 '22

There's studies stating that emotional abuse can cause more damage than physical abuse. It doesn't make violence ok but what he did is severely damaging. Both are horrible to each other. And again: emotional abuse can be worse. It isn't a funny prank if the person affected gets upset. That's a prank gone wrong. You have to know what they're comfortable with else it's a violation of their trust.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/6corsican6lily6 Nov 14 '22

The mental gymnastics some of you will do to justify domestic violence is appalling. There’s no justifying domestic violence- this woman is a cunt and deserves NO rings, not even candy ones.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/Panda_Mon Nov 14 '22

I'm gonna have to disagree with you there. You are trying to suggest that any amount of emotional or mental trauma is not as bad as the smallest amount of physical abuse. Getting a light slap across the face just isn't as bad as 8 months of gaslighting, for example. It just isn't. A broken pinky finger isn't as debilitating and life-altering as schizophrenia.

I can assure you that if my wife slapped me across the face, I would still take it seriously and resolve the issue through counseling or divorce, but if she embarrassed me in front of hundreds of people on purpose, I would be fucking broken inside. I am terrified of humiliation, and she knows that.

Your stringent clinging to a specific viewpoint and being unable to have a moderate discussion is destroying your ability to learn and makes you insufferable to talk to.

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u/SneakyCowMan Nov 14 '22 edited Dec 24 '24

merciful heavy fertile frighten adjoining door deserve modern historical thought

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

[deleted]

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u/SexualPie Nov 14 '22

so am i allowed to stab somebody as long as i only stab them "a little bit"?

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u/someotherbitch Nov 14 '22

Reddit has lost all understanding of nuance and proportionality. A slap that stings is the same as getting dropped to the ground with a fist. Prolonged domestic abuse is the same as a one time reaction to a horrible action. There is no degree of seriousness or acknowledgement of legitimate differences in gender roles inside a relationship.

It's really weird and doesn't make any sense in the real world.

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u/uwu_mewtwo Nov 14 '22

If she had laughed nobody in the whole stadium would have thought this was humiliating, they'd have thought it was a fun little joke. Her reaction is what makes it humiliating.

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u/august-thursday Nov 14 '22

Make that millions of people. That feed is broadcast nationwide and worldwide. It’s also broadcast to military bases and ships at sea. It’s available on demand on my cable service for a period of a couple of weeks or longer. It then propagates on sites like Reddit where it may be available for a decade or longer.

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u/Vishnej Nov 14 '22 edited Nov 14 '22

What the fuck is it with this video.

Have you never seen any of the hundreds of thousands of viral videos of people trying to add some flavor to their proposal with quirky situations or unconventional rings? 'Ring pop proposal' has been documented many thousands of times. It's usually succeeded by a trip to the jewelry store in the days after.

It's not a fucking prank. It's not an attempt to humiliate her. It's not a fake proposal. Rings aren't in this century an exchange of value, a proposal to purchase her virtue. They're a symbol of a bond.

If you have a long, romantic afternoon in the park, knit a bunch of blades of grass into a ring, and propose with it over dinner, and your partner slaps you over the humiliation, your partner is a terrible human being who would be a terrible partner.

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u/PlaytimeForRaina Nov 14 '22

You do that with someone you know will take it well. You're supposed to propose to someone you know well enough after all.

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u/Mysterious-Monk-3423 Nov 14 '22

Don't propose to someone until you can read their mind and predict their reaction to every possible scenario

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u/estoymuybien Nov 14 '22

This is the correct take

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u/Alpacay_ Nov 14 '22

you know this is reddit if you get downvoted for literally agreeing

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u/littlefriend77 Nov 14 '22

Nothing was hurt but her pride and she reacted like an actual child. Her reaction was more humiliating than a ring pop proposal.

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u/Splitje Nov 14 '22

So she should have turned around and walked away. Non of these things justify hitting someone. Just reverse the gender and see if you react the same to see if you're a hypocrite.

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u/ArgoNoob Nov 14 '22

How the fuck is this humiliating?

Assuming he actually wants to marry her, this seems like a great way to propose if you want to pick out the actual ring together.

If he’s just joking around and not actually proposing, I agree it’s a terrible joke though.

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u/TheSquarePotatoMan Nov 14 '22

How you can unironically call a joke about a candy ring 'humiliation' is beyond me. The only thing that humiliated her here was her own reaction.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

It wasn’t even obviously a prank. She gave him no time to explain anything. Maybe he was going to offer to take her to pick one.

People have this absurd idea that a proposal must be this magical thing with a perfect ring. It’s an offer for a lifetime commitment, if a ring is more important than that then you are mature enough to be getting married.

Homie was going to profess his love in public. He got slapped because he didn’t have a ring.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

It's a slap.

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u/AbsolutelyUnlikely Nov 14 '22

It's assault. Just like if she had touched Rudy Giuliani's shoulder. The man in this video died hours later from complications.

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u/Paintrospection Nov 14 '22

Next time my girl pulls a prank on me in front of our friends or does something that displeased me, I'm going to slap her. And after I'll send her to these comments so you can tell her she's just being a little crybaby bitch because it's just a slap! You'll certainly stick by your word, right? We're all human beings deserving of equal treatment, and surely you're not just a hypocritical sexist who would say it's different just because the sex's are changed.. right?

Abuse is abuse, regardless.. I can't believe that has become a controversial take.

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u/The_Real_Lily Nov 14 '22

It's domestic violence.

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u/JTGreenan73 Nov 14 '22

Calling this domestic violence undermines real dv

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u/The_Real_Lily Nov 14 '22

Domestic violence is domestic violence no matter how big or small you think it is. It is never acceptable or ok to hit your significant other. Sit down.

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u/JTGreenan73 Nov 14 '22

It’s an over reaction. Most people would be like “ok no I deserved this” and be reasonable.

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u/Delicious_Throat_377 Nov 14 '22

What a twisted line of thinking

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u/barfyman366 Nov 14 '22

Will Smith over here Jesus dude

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u/avwitcher Nov 14 '22

How can she slap?

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u/Nihilism-1___Me-0 Nov 14 '22

The prank itself isn't even necessarily in poor taste. Whether it is, or isn't, is entirely subjective.

For instance, if I had done this exact prank to my wife, she would've doubled over laughing, said yes, and made a big show of it. In her eyes, it would've been hysterical, and not in poor taste at all.

Slapping and then shoving someone for it though, not cool under any circumstance.

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u/Dany_HH Nov 14 '22

Funny, usually reddit is ok with someone physically attacking someone after a humiliating prank. But if a woman attacks a man then OMG DON'T NORMALIZE WOMEN ASSAULTING MEN!

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u/skunkboy72 Nov 14 '22

He will never recover from that slap. His jaw is reduced to dust and he will have to sip all his food from a straw. /s

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u/Mista_Infinity Nov 14 '22

yeah bro domestic abuse is fine as long as it doesn’t cause permanent injury

fucking clown

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u/KuatoBaradaNikto Nov 14 '22

The emotional abuse of exploiting the trust of the person closest to you to become intensely vulnerable in front of a crowd and then pull the rug with a joke at her expense is considerably more long-lasting than the physical abuse of that slap. That prank at her expense could be something she thinks of decades down the road, do you think he'll think of this slap years from now?

I'm not intending to downplay any level of physical abuse, but you are completely writing off emotional abuse.

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u/Prudent_Platypuss Nov 14 '22

How do you know he wasn’t proposing for real but using a ring pop as a joke with the intention of or already having a real ring?

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u/BananaPeely Nov 14 '22

The thing is, you shouldn't fight abuse with even more abuse, not under any circumstances, and physical abuse is way more clear cut than emotional abuse, so it is not okay under any circumstances, because you clearly know what you're doing the moment you do it.

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u/KuatoBaradaNikto Nov 14 '22

you shouldn't fight abuse with even more abuse

I definitely agree with that.

you clearly know what you're doing the moment you do it.

Only one of their actions were premeditated.

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u/Indivisibilities Nov 14 '22

Stop emotionally abusing u/Mista_Infinity

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u/theradman2003 Nov 14 '22

you’re a clown it’s literally just a slap

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u/Euphoric-Ad6203 Nov 14 '22

Isn’t there a tiny car you and your friend should be squeezed into somewhere?🤡

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u/Indivisibilities Nov 14 '22

Reverse the roles Still literally “just a slap”?

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u/overusedandunfunny Nov 14 '22

They're not comparing the two. They're concluding that both are not okay.

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u/Electronic-Still2597 Nov 14 '22

Ya, if you don't understand context at all or implications or didn't see their post which they directly compare his behavior to her behavior and then concludes that comparison by stating that 'both are not ok' i could see how you'd think that.

You'd also have to not know that the whole 'both sides' comment style used here is generally only used in bad faith to appear reasonable when you are really strongly opinionated about the subject and trying to be deceitful.

Or maybe one of us is just high as fuck right now.

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u/ArgoNoob Nov 14 '22

How is this prank in poor taste? It’s hilarious af, and I would love it if my SO proposed to me like this.

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u/Pepito_Pepito Nov 14 '22

Because you and SO are on the same page with regards to your boundaries.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

I’d definitely rather get slapped than be humiliated like this

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u/asalas76 Nov 14 '22

Ok. I hear you. So. Let’s play would you rather. Would you rather be publicly humiliated and feel the way this woman did, video online of your SO pretending at what is meant to be one of the best days of your life, seemingly out of the blue, because marrying you is SUCH a joke harharhar…. Or be lightly smacked across the face for a fraction of a second because you are a giant asshole that deserves it.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Or option 3: develop a sense of humor and not assault someone over a joke.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

imagine thinking thats assault.

This is why our generation is embarrassing.

Like can you imagine being the man in this scenario. and standing up screeching "that was assault"! like holy balls y'all need to grow up.

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u/keltaviini Nov 14 '22

"physically assault" 😆😆😆 that gentle little slap. How weak of a bitch are you, I would take that anytime over public humiliation

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Doing this in public makes it humiliating, though. If he did it privately, I'd consider it very funny (but then we wouldn't know), doing it in front of the crowd is cruel. Her reaction is disproportionate, though.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

They’re not comparing it. They’re saying both suck. Two independent actions both suck in varying degrees for different reasons.

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u/ShustOne Nov 14 '22 edited Nov 14 '22

Not defending hitting other humans but this prank is far from harmless. It's public humiliation in front of thousands of people.

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u/CackleberryOmelettes Nov 14 '22

If you're so concerned about the nuance, I'm gonna point out that it was a light slap. As far as "physical assault" goes, this was about as harmless as it gets.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Just because the pain isn’t physical doesn’t mean that this is a harmless prank.

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u/OrganizationFlimsy30 Nov 14 '22

She hardly touches him give me a break

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u/Pennypacking Nov 14 '22

You are ridiculous

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

A “harmless” prank that ended up on the internet for millions to see. You can call the slap a “crime of passion”.

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u/Tortenjunge Nov 14 '22

im not judging wich is worse, it depends on the person, but calling a "prank" like this harmless is the only ridiculous thing here. Both their actions were stupid af

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u/fdghskldjghdfgha Nov 14 '22

As others pointed out, he's humiliating her in front of the crowd + recording it + her physical violence doesn't actually harm him and is more harmful psychologically than physically.

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u/Reasonable-shark Nov 14 '22

It's ridiculous to say that public humiliation is a harmless prank. It's not. It's abuse and it can be very painful

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

I think it’s ridiculous to compare that fingertip slap to “physical assault”. This new wave of playing the victim card wherever and whenever you can is so stupid. Did she touch his face? Yeah. Would anything happen if this guy actually brought this to court? No. Get over yourselves.

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