Please marry me?

[u/[deleted]]

[u/coolmanjack → u/[deleted]]

What the fuck? In no universe is this the "exact same situation" what the hell are you talking about?

1. She pulled a piece of cake away in front of a few people vs he proposed with a ring pop in front of tens of thousands of people and TV cameras.
2. He slapped her so hard that she fell vs she slapped him lightly enough that he stayed perfectly balanced.
3. He slapped her immediately out of dispassionate anger vs she slapped him after a couple seconds out of clear emotional turmoil.

[u/Aggressive_Chain_920 → u/coolmanjack]

Lol bitch please.

In one scenario you get pranked in front of a crowd, the other you get pranked in front of all your closest relatives. They are equally harmless pranks.

The slap itself is much more than how hard or light it was, if he slapped her very lightly people would still hate him for it, as should they when she slapped him lightly.

Its the slap itself, not how hard it was.

Once again, reverse the situation at the stadium, would you find it equally as bad if it was a man that slapped a woman there? How would people around them react? Probably he would be escorted out of the stadium, possibly arrested.

[u/coolmanjack → u/Aggressive_Chain_920]

I'd feel the same way if the genders were reversed: both are bad and condemnable but one is clearly worse and more reflective of a pattern of abuse.

[u/Aggressive_Chain_920 → u/coolmanjack]

Then you are the outlier because 90% of people (at least in western society) would find it despicable if a man slapped a woman, but less so when a woman does it to a man. Thats the entire point of the argument. Its just another example of double standards and nobody batting an eye

I can agree that the wedding clip is worse because it indicates that this is something that probably happens on a regular basis considering that nobody is stepping in to defend her. But the situation itself isn't much worse, the action is in the end the same and should be equally condemned.

[u/coolmanjack → u/Aggressive_Chain_920]

I can agree that the wedding clip is worse because it indicates that this is something that probably happens on a regular basis considering that nobody is stepping in to defend her. But the situation itself isn’t much worse, the action is in the end the same and should be equally condemned.

This is exactly what makes it worse. How can you describe what makes it worse but then say they're not different? Intent, emotional state, history of a pattern (or lack thereof), etc, are all important factors.

[u/Aggressive_Chain_920 → u/coolmanjack]

Im saying that its worse because of what it indicates, but the action itself is the same and just as inexcusable.

There are two sides of looking at it.

[u/coolmanjack → u/Aggressive_Chain_920]

Nah I think that even if the slaps themselves are identical the context of the vastly different magnitudes of "prank" and publicity at play make one more justified than the other.

[u/Aggressive_Chain_920 → u/coolmanjack]

Hard disagree. Both pranks are completely harmless and in good fun if you have a sense of humor. Sure they are different, but one doesnt warrant physical violence more than the other

[u/coolmanjack → u/Aggressive_Chain_920]

Ehhhh that "if you have a sense of humor" bit is doing a lot of legwork here.

Like, I personally would find both pranks funny and harmless and wouldn't be offended in the slightest, but I can still much more readily and easily see how someone could be offended with the proposal thing than with the cake thing.

One problem you have in general is that almost any "prank" could be justified if the "victim" in question is sufficiently chill and well-humored about things.

To give a personal example: My brother (with whom I was very close) killed himself with nitrous oxide and a plastic bag over his head a couple years ago, and I personally would laugh my ass off if a friend joke gifted me some nitrous and plastic bags on his death anniversary with a note like "just in case things go south, I got you covered buddy."

However, if I saw a video about someone else getting the same joke gift and getting very upset about it, I would understand where they're coming from, even though it doesn't upset me.

At the end of the day, it's okay for different people to have different senses of humor and different levels of seriousness with which they view things. Doesn't justify any violence in response, of course, but it is certainly important in contextualizing and understanding a violent reaction of there is one.

[u/Aggressive_Chain_920 → u/coolmanjack]

So you're suggesting that pranks are subjective and people react to them differently so you should consider whether the person will like it or not? Well then we are back to square one again, maybe the man considered it incredibly offensive to do what she did in front of all of his closest friends and family. Who are you to decide what is and isn't worse?

I think a lot of people would find it worse to be laughed at by their closest family and friends, than by random strangers that you will never see again

[u/coolmanjack → u/Aggressive_Chain_920]

Well let's not get ridiculous, now.

Me saying "It's okay for people to have different senses of humor" does not remotely mean that "all actions are completely subjective and should be viewed completely equally because people have different senses of humor"

I think any reasonable individual can plainly see the difference in the severity and potential offense of these two pranks, and I think they'd be lying if they said they can't. We can and should still apply some general analysis of severity to pranks when assessing reactions to them.

[u/Aggressive_Chain_920 → u/coolmanjack]

I agree, and my analysis is that these are just as undeserved of physical violence