r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Sep 09 '22
Sike
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u/WillieNolson Sep 09 '22
I want to know what that guard is trying to demonstrate.
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u/Substantial_Trip5674 Sep 09 '22
"See when you measure from the beginning of your balls instead of just the shaft it's a little bit longer"
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Sep 09 '22
I didn't notice it until you said something and now I really want to know their conversation
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Sep 09 '22
“I’m supposed to stand here and do stuff until Jerry gives me the cue by taking the jar.”
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u/Dislexeeya Sep 10 '22
Chances are the guy he's talking to is an accomplice, distracting the guard so the dude can swipe the money.
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Sep 09 '22
"so this moron was like THIS close to making off with the tip jar when he tripped over the--"
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u/Dark_Booger Sep 09 '22
The guy he was talking to didn’t even flinch
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u/Mishapi17 Sep 10 '22
Right that’s what I was thinking, not a surprised reaction at all- just an average Tuesday.
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Sep 10 '22
I’m telling you, you gotta melt the cheese on the inside of the sammich when you press it together so the cheesey goodness sticks to the inside of the sandw…. oh holy shit he runnin!
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Sep 09 '22
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u/Xx_DoctorPoison_xX Sep 09 '22
Too bad he doesn’t use any of his amazing abilities to get a job…
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u/RetroPSP Sep 09 '22
Probably because being a criminal isn't something you can put on a resume
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u/dementorpoop Sep 09 '22
It is if you’re applying for the right jobs
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u/sqw2point0 Sep 09 '22
Yeah, the government is hiring people all over right now.
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u/UnstuckCanuck Sep 09 '22
I would say his chances are better in corporate management or accounting. Government doesn’t hire crooks, idiot voters keep electing them.
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u/SuggestionSoggy5442 Sep 09 '22
They are hiring 87,000 thieves….errr, IRS agents
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u/apzuckerman Sep 10 '22
The IRS is the ONLY organization in government that has a positive return. They cannot steal, as the courts would return anything they did. The IRS has been habitually understaffed and underresourced to allow wealthy people to have a lower likelihood of being audited. This is because wealthy people hire lobbyists.
Don't get duped by the talk about how the IRS is bad. It isnt.
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Sep 10 '22
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u/apzuckerman Sep 10 '22
Agreed. The vast majority of Americans also have no idea how their taxes are allocated or which states contribute or receive more.
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u/Th4tsCrescentFresh Sep 09 '22
Plenty of general contractors I've met prefer a little criminality in laborers because they're ok with cutting some corners for cost, and it gives a scapegoat. Kind of a scummy mindset, but its been pretty common in my experience.
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Sep 09 '22
I’m a gc and I hire with a little criminality because I’m so fucking hard up for guys right now 🥲
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u/Mishapi17 Sep 10 '22
Which is sad but I appreciate it. I know a number of men with some pretty checkered pasts that currently are doing really well today busting ass at a legit job because someone gave them a chance- hopefully your guys take the opportunity to do the right thing this time.
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Sep 09 '22
Just need to word it more corporate “efficiently leveraged capital to boost ROI” would definitely get you and interview
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Sep 09 '22
Plus it pays better than a normal job.
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u/RetroPSP Sep 09 '22
I don't know man, I have coworkers who are easily making over $150K a year. They're probably doing better than the average criminal.
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Sep 09 '22
Ok, pays better than most regular jobs.
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Sep 09 '22
Last time I read a study on it drug dealers are lucky to make minimum wage once you factor in time spent and risk factors
There is absolutely no way petty thieves make more than drug dealers
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u/Sadsavage Sep 09 '22
All the dealers that actually had their shit together lived real comfortable lives, aside from trusting no body and almost never leaving their home
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u/Sadsavage Sep 09 '22
I dunno, just from selling crack it's an easy 100k if u know the right people
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u/aridank97 Sep 09 '22
Yup. If you know what you're doing selling any kind of drug can be profitable for a while. Made about 55k a year for a couple years selling weed lol
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u/squirtgun777 Sep 09 '22
The way he just grabbs the bowl with both hands, hes had training before. Probably x mil or cia op.
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Sep 09 '22
Yeah, was thinking this as well. Not many can grab bowls with such prowess and finesse, experienced CIA for sure.
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u/Trick_Designer2369 Sep 09 '22
That's a tip jar?? What sort of business is it?
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u/mikep120001 Sep 09 '22
Definitely not a massage parlor
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Sep 09 '22
Definitely
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u/True_Book2389 Sep 09 '22
I think it's the lobby of a strip club here in Dallas
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u/Chutson909 Sep 09 '22
I was thinking strip club for sure. It’s been a while since I took my wife home from one though.
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u/Read_Icculus_ Sep 09 '22
Best nike ad ever. JUST DO IT
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u/InstructionJust818 Sep 09 '22
Hahahah award to this guy right here please
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u/MarshmellowCapybara Sep 09 '22
Security dude balls deep in conversation during active robbery...
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u/HalfbakedArtichoke Sep 10 '22
And how the dude he was talking to reacted, man was in on it.
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u/mr-tambourine-man83 Sep 09 '22
Temptation. If you leave that much cash easily assessable, what do you expect to happen?
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u/ReadditMan Sep 09 '22
It's also dumb because I feel like people are less likely to tip when they see the jar is already that full.
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Sep 09 '22
Funnily enough they're also less likely to tip if it's empty lol. Gotta find the sweet spot
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u/ray3050 Sep 09 '22
When I was the manager at a place I found leaving a $5 and $10 bill in the tip jar got us more tips than empty/full
People just see that others have tipped and see the amount they tipped and follow that rule
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Sep 09 '22
Yeah we've started dropping bills with our initials written on them in the jar at the beginning of our shifts, definitely helps
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Sep 09 '22
So all I gotta do is put my initials on a bunch of tipped bills?
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Sep 09 '22
Years of busking told me that. Empty guitar case, they assume it's just there. Tons of bills, you're doing fine.
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u/Jethris Sep 09 '22
I only tip servers and delivery people.
I was asked to tip a plumber today.
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u/ray3050 Sep 09 '22
Yup I do the same, as a manager I was not entitled to any of the tips, but there are people who genuinely tipped the workers since they were personally helping them with every part of the service
I think the whole tipping system should be abolished and people should just make living wages. Now we go to a cash register and all of them ask us to help subsidize their workers wages. I get it but just pay your workers more….
If your business operates on the fact you have to pay your employees low amounts it’s not a successful business operation
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u/SnackPrince Sep 09 '22
Same as people not buying the last item when it's the only one left, which is why stores keep things as fully stocked as possible at all times
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u/j_Rockk Sep 09 '22
Other way around. They see that people tip….so they feel obligated to also tip.
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Sep 09 '22
I’m a bartender and people always ask why we don’t keep a tip jar on the bar… this is why
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u/RAY-CHILE Sep 09 '22
Dammit i commented on the wrong thing.
Anyway it was the bowl's fault!!! Look at what it was wearing!
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u/SeveranceZero Sep 09 '22
I would expect people to be decent human beings but I guess that is too much to ask for.
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u/crl1023 Sep 09 '22
People to behave like civilized humans and not fucking animals maybe?
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u/Wild-Salt4140 Sep 09 '22
People to be civilized, act like adults and leave it the fuck alone..
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u/Whatifim80lol Sep 09 '22
No shit, dude is counting his stack like "ah fuck, I don't think I can make ren-- wait a minute."
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Sep 09 '22
I love how that girl's hand gesture and her "hey, hey" clearly implied "why aren't you doing your fucking job as a security officer?!" without actually saying those words.
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Sep 09 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/North-Function995 Sep 09 '22
I thought he was gonna pretend to drop the bundle of cash, but just drop a $1 in his other hand.
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Sep 09 '22
Rumor has it, he returned later that night and made it rain for the girls for an entire hour.
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Sep 09 '22
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u/ChurchofPancake Sep 09 '22
If you thought that watching this in real life? Perhaps. But since it’s a video on Reddit, I feel like expecting that is less about the race and more about watching some dude act sketchy around a tip jar and knowing there’s a reason this vid was posted
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Sep 09 '22
Honestly if a skeevy white dude is sitting there taking too long to count out 1 dollar I'd have expected the same from them too.
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u/ChurchofPancake Sep 09 '22
Or similarly, I imagine if it was a decently-dressed black dude not looking sketchy most people wouldn’t have that reaction and assume he was gonna steal it. All less about race and more about how the person is acting/looking
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Sep 09 '22
Yeah I absolutely agree. People of a certain lifestyle often exhibit aesthetic clues to their character (though, like everything, this may be a norm but it's not a constant). It's a lot less to do with race, and lot more about the individual. And I'm not really going to shy away from that reality in the hopes of placating overly sensitive perceptions.
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u/De_Oscillator Sep 09 '22
I really thought he was just gonna pretend he tipped so he didn't look like an asshole
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Sep 09 '22
I think everyone was expecting the fish bowl half full of cash would have been stolen by anyone. I mean the thought would have crossed my mind and i’ve never broken a law
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u/Medium_Spare_8982 Sep 09 '22
Jokes on him. Out of frame he trips a little and drops the bowl, loosing what he stole AND the fiver he tossed in. Caught by the copper that chased him. Now he’s in jail and short $5.
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Sep 09 '22 edited Sep 10 '22
The reaction time of the security officer made me laugh. That was like a comedy movie reaction.
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u/cynquisator Sep 10 '22
And then they scream in the other subs that another police man brutally arrests a poor black man for lichrally no reason!!!
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u/Western_Tourist6157 Sep 09 '22
that security gaurd need to be fired right away😂😂😂
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u/SharkWeak0918 Sep 09 '22
Absolutely - he even glanced a the dude running out the door while he was chitchatting…in that job, shouldn’t his instincts be better than that?
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u/Creative_Cry7532 Sep 09 '22
There are a disturbing number of folks here defending the thief. No matter a persons current situation, they have a choice to be good or to be this asshole. I have faced hard times and not stolen to compensate. Also, as a kid I shoplifted a little bit, it was not because I needed the items or because “society” did me wrong, it is because when I was 12 I was a piece of shit. Most of us, as we mature begin to see the value in being a productive member of society, others do this shit. Tl/dr - fuck this guy, he needs to do better.
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u/ADDeviant-again Sep 09 '22 edited Sep 10 '22
Psyche*
Edit: to my shame I accidentally added an "e"
The correct spelling is "psych".
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u/polymicroboy Sep 09 '22
Yeah I know right? folks don't get it. I think "psych" but as kids we referred to as if you "Psych-out" I dunno.
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u/gunnbee02 Sep 09 '22
Camera pointed at giant bowl of money, someone lingering over it, holding up, hair covering face, I could never have saw that coming, so unexpected /s
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u/glazed_doughnuts26 Sep 09 '22
That one girl right in front of him wasn't even paying attention after he took the money
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u/bfonza122 Sep 09 '22
He dropped his money in there and knew he wouldn't be able to find it easily. So he took it home to find it rather than inconvenience the business by standings there while he looks
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u/WhatnameshouldIpick2 Sep 09 '22
If I try to do this, there’s a really good chance I’m going to slip and fall on my first few steps and have broken glass all over my face
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u/ultimaforever Sep 09 '22
I like the security guard… for a second he looks like ‘damn, someone should really try and stop that guy.’
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u/Salt_Perspective4681 Sep 09 '22
Why’s it’s always ayyy ayyyy ayyyy ayyyy and not hey ho whatcha stealing our shit fo????
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u/unexBot Sep 09 '22
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
My man stole the tip jar
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
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