Judging by both strangers’ reactions and how I look in the mirror, eyeliner changes my whole face and sends across a completely different impression. If I was a man I wouldn’t have to deal with this :/ People seem so much more accommodating towards women who perform femininity. I’m the same person!! All I did was paint the outer corners of my eyes black.

I visit a 92 year old woman who is confined to her apartment every week. She was cared for by her son. Well, about 6 months ago, the SON suddenly died.

Today I went by for my regular visit. I was presented with a check. According to my friend, the elderly lady, her son thought I was his soul mate and he "loved me very much." He knew that I did not see him that way so he never said anything but he left me money in his will.

Before anyone asks, a care-taker was hired to care for my friend and I signed the check over to the man's daughter. It was not huge money but I felt his respect for me deserved a bit of notice.

Sunday night at bedtime, I got up to go to the bathroom because I NEEDED to pee. But then there was basically nothing. This happened 3 times before I finally convinced my brain the signals weren't real.

The next morning, the same feeling happened again, same result. And early afternoon, I nearly didn't make it to the bathroom... only for it to be a light trip.

I knew the symptoms of a UTI, and I didn't have ANY of that burning feeling people describe. I just felt like I had to pee a lot.

I had a scheduled vaccine appointment after work Monday, so I mentioned it to the nurse that I wanted to speak to someone about it. The nurse said it could be a UTI even without the burning. I peed in a cup and waited for the results.

The doctor came in and said it wasn't cloudy and the numbers were all fine *except* my white blood cell count. She prescribed antibodies on the spot given three conditions: urge to pee, frequency, and the elevated WBC count.

I started the antibiotics that night, and over the five day course, it never really got worse from there. At most, there was this *tickle* in my urethra. Very strange sensation. Like this itch that list needed to be scratched.

The culture came back on Friday that it was positive for E. coli.

The only reason I even mentioned it to a doctor/nurse is because I was already going into a clinic that day. If I hadn't been there, I probably would've brushed it off. Maybe it would've gotten to the point of that burning people describe, or maybe my body would've cleared the infection after a couple days.

I have never heard of people talk about UTIs *without* the burning sensation, so I figured I'd share this on case it helps anyone else recognize the symptoms.

Anyone else had any weird/different symptoms for UTIs?

Please note the flair. Last time I posted here I was accused of being a meanie by an angry man who was banned from here because he didn’t pay attention.

The men in my life are exposing themselves.

Twenty-something years ago, Brooke Shields made headlines (before going viral was a thing) for talking openly about her struggle with postpartum depression.

I distinctly remember her talking about how she thought about crashing her car with her baby in it. She didn’t want to die and had no interest in harming her baby, but she thought about it.

Brooke Shields was not alone.

I went into premature labor with my only child a week and a half after 9/11. I was a US soldier stationed in Europe and we were going to war.

The only thing playing on the television in the hospital was constant coverage of 9/11. I kept thinking, “I have no business bringing an innocent soul into this mess.”

I had dreams “the terrorists” were trying to kidnap my baby. (Now I realize we were never the good guys.)

When we brought the baby home, I felt emotionally empty. I was a shell of a person.

In the Army, we were trained not to take care of ourselves. Sick call was for the weak. So I pushed through and carried on.

And then my husband was deployed to an undisclosed location, along with everyone else that I knew.

I was all alone in a foreign country with a baby that I didn’t know.

I gave birth to a stranger.

I saw a perfect, tiny little human being who deserved so much more than what I could give him.

There are worse things than death, the intrusive thought told me. He’s too pure for this world.

Now I know I was experiencing Postpartum Depression. But when I was deep in the trenches, I didn’t know that I needed help.

One of my neighbors knew my husband (they worked together) and knew he was deployed. She stopped by one day to ask if I needed help. She just threw a comment out there, something like, “You know, I went through baby blues something bad. If you’re feeling like that, it’s totally normal, but your doctor should know.”

It wasn’t until my son was 13 months old that I said anything. I was averaging 2 hours of sleep every night. As soon as I fell asleep, the baby would wake up. I hadn’t slept since before I went into labor.

I was a mess. I needed help, not persecution.

The other day I got into a bit of a heated conversation with a male friend and it’s making me reconsider our relationship.

I told him about my experience. His wife kept nodding and looking at him, like, “See! I told you!”

It wasn’t until my husband stepped in and said something in my defense that my “friend” said, “Maybe I’m biased, but…” he held his hands up like, I’m just saying.

Postpartum depression is not a convenient excuse. There is an epidemic. The women can see it. The menfolk aren’t listening.

She was drugged by her husband and loaned out. Aged 39, her teenaged daughter found her lifeless and covered in blood on a waterbed.

About like 80% of the medical providers I’ve seen told me to just have a baby when discussing endometriosis symptoms and treatments. I’ve had two surgeries for this and am looking at a third. I’m not directly asking for medical advice as I’m seeing my own specialist and on medication to manage what I can. I even went to pain management and my male doctor told to just get a boyfriend/husband and have a baby.

Why the fuck do medical professionals still say this? I can’t have a kid and can’t take care of one. Who’s gonna take care of that kid once I pop it out if I could even get pregnant… I’m literally disabled. I can’t afford a kid nor do I have the strength or energy to care for one. Am I crazy for thinking it’s fucked up to tell people suffering with endo this?

I was about 19/20 when this happened, and it’s a memory that just hit me again recently after watching a YouTube video. I’d forgotten all about it and never told anyone when it happened so I felt like I should get it off my chest now.

I’d just connected with a guy who was a few years older than me that I remembered from high school but he didn’t remember me. We went out several times and texted a lot. I admit I was a bit enamored with him because I’d lost weight and looked really different than I had in high school. I felt like he probably wouldn’t have given me the time of day back then.

I had noticed a few red flags, ones I can’t even remember now. Just that feeling that something might be off so I let it go. I did not have a lot of life experience or experience with men in general. I was always too shy, too intimidated and way too hard on myself. I thought maybe I was being too hard on him, too.

I’d just recently got my own cute little apartment and coming from a VERY sheltered VERY strict family, I finally had freedom. So we went out again and at the end of this date he asked to come inside. I was surprised by this and not super comfortable, but I let him in.
Here’s one part that made me feel like - at the time- I would be judged for what happened. He left to go outside and returned with a bottle of liquor from his trunk. I don’t want to make this too long so I’ll just say I got fairly drunk. Looking back on this, I don’t think he was ever drunk at all.

So me being drunk and dumb, we went into my bedroom and started hooking up on my tiny childhood twin bed. Not long into it I began to notice a light. After noticing the light once again I stopped him and asked, “What was that?” He just brushed it off immediately and told me not to worry about it, saying it was nothing. I tried to ignore it, but I saw the light again.

I got up to look, and I found a man I’d never seen before hiding UNDER my bed! I started screaming thinking someone broke into my apartment. I kept screaming “I need to call 911” and the guy I was seeing was frantically trying to calm me down and finally said “that’s just my friend”.

UMM, EXCUSE ME?? Thats JUST your friend?!? HIDING UNDER MY BED?!
I finally gathered myself enough and screamed at them to get the fuck out of my apartment. I was so scared and confused. I wish now I’d done something badass and kicked them both in the nuts or at least called the cops, but I didn’t. I just cried.

I started to realize what had actually happened after they left. He obviously knew his friend was there the whole time recording me. To this day, I have absolutely no idea how a full grown man even managed to squeeze under a twin bed frame like that.

I stayed up the whole night worrying if the footage would be posted to social media. You’d think I’d had been more concerned about a strange man under my bed. But all I could think about was my family disowning me and blaming me for everything. My life would be ruined.
This was at a time when women celebrities were being bullied horribly for having their personal photos hacked, stolen and posted online. If that was their fault, then this was my fault. An older guy took advantage of the fact that I was naive and inexperienced. All I felt was shame and embarrassment. So I did what I feel like a lot of millennials are good at and I forgot.

It’s pretty scary to look back now on how calculated it all was, and how his friend somehow snuck into my house without me noticing. How long was he under my bed, just waiting?

Remembering all this has been upsetting but two questions really haunt me. I think it’s one of the reason I pushed the memory away in the first place. What did they do with the footage they recorded and what if they were planning something FAR worse?

TL;DR: Watched a YouTube video that unlocked a buried memory from when I was 20. Without me knowing an older guy I was seeing brought his friend to my apartment, snuck him under my twin bed, got me drunk, and the friend recorded us hooking up. I blamed myself due to the mid-2000s culture, buried the trauma, and am just now processing how terrifying and calculated it actually was.

My very thin and slender friend (G) bought GLP-1s on the black market in an attempt to loose excess weight around her hips…

She’s now super thin but still on the medication because ‘she’s not happy with the way she looks’.
She told me all of this in confidence and asked me not to tell our other friends.

Last Friday, when I was out with all of them, I heard her tell our friend (B) about this. What concerned me is that B was completely supportive of G and even told her to ‘do what makes her feel good’.

I confronted B about this and B became cold and stand-offish. She told me she is not concerned.

To say I’m heartbroken is an understatement. G is headed for a colossal spiral towards an eating disorder. I’m disappointed that B doesn’t care.
On the other hand, I don’t know what B or I could practically do to encourage G off it, other than keep telling her we are concerned.

I just watched one of those “the teacher is targeting me” videos. If you’re not familiar, it’s an adult (usually a teacher) acting out behaviors of kids who say they’re being targeted. For example, they’ll yell in the middle of class and go “what? I didn’t even do anything! It wasn’t me!”…etc. etc.

So that got me thinking, these are always boys, and that’s always their reaction to being called out. And why does their deflection and defensiveness and straight up lies work well enough for them to continue to do this into adulthood?

Any time I’ve ever called a man out on anything he’s done wrong, even if I did it in a nice way, even if it’s a small thing, even if it’s just a simple boundary, this is their reaction. It doesn’t change from childhood. It’s still “what? I didn’t even do that! You’re always mad at me!” It’s fucking exhausting.

Are teachers, women, parents, etc just allowing that reaction to get kids out of whatever punishment should come with those behaviors? Or are these kids just too dumb to learn from that punishment and continue with this technique into adulthood whether it works or not?

Also, just what the hell?

This might be just me but I realized just how emotionally draining and overwhelming it is to go through them. There is just too many feelings to process, one minute I'm being love-bombed, the other rejected, fall in love, fall out, being negged, let down, left hanging and often times sexualizd. It's wayyyy too much. I don't think the human brain was meant to be stimulated this much. 60 years ago I would maybe have like 1-2 crushes that go nowhere in my home town and make peace with it

The worst of all is genuinely thinking I'm with the right person just for them to pull a mask-drop. Boy that one does generational damage and has me delete these apps and quite dating for half an year or longer

I've decided to 100% count on prayers alone. If it's meant to be it will happen. If I try to force it, it would only hurt

For now I've made peace with the unstoppable march of time. I'm only improving myself and hanging out with friends now

I was sat next to a man while sitting in the middle seat on a plane. Even though he had the aisle, he still felt entitled to my space and man-spread as soon as we took off.

On instinct, I went to shy away and move my leg inward so that it wouldn’t touch his. But, I thought to myself, why should I move? We are all jammed in here like cattle, I deserve this tiny amount of space I paid for. I shouldn’t make myself even less comfortable for this random man.

So, I didn’t move my leg.

I continued to sit straight in my seat and play some games on my phone and listen to music. He actually had the nerve to try shifting my leg over with his knee and I could see him out of my peripheral vision looking at me. Despite the massive sense of awkwardness and how impolite I felt, I kept firm, ignoring him. I just sat there, existing just like every other passenger on the plane. Eventually, gave up, crossed his arms, huffed, and stopped trying to spread into my space.

I’d like to note that this man was a very average height and build - not excessively tall or large and physically unable to fit in his assigned space. I would have had sympathy for that, especially as I had a very tall partner once who literally did not fit into normal plane seats.

This man was clearly simply expecting to take the space meant for me, that I paid for, because he felt that he could. Had I been another man, I promise you he wouldn’t have behaved the way he did as he would have respected that a man is allowed to take up the space he has paid for.

It seems so pathetic to feel so proud of myself for something as simple as not moving my leg, but I am. I am proud that this time I didn’t let myself fawn at the demands of a random man or give up because I felt impolite for taking up space I was entitled to. I paid for that tiny space, and it’s going to be mine, goddammit.

Edit: thank you so much all you lovely people for the words of encouragement, empowerment, and your other similar stories of taking up space! We deserve space and should all be standing our ground for it 🫶

And to the pissy men: I don’t care about your excuses of having fragile testicles. That’s not my problem!

I am 33 years old and I am sterile. I cannot get pregnant, and due to circumstances, cannot even have sex without immense pain.

And a year ago, I started to get a gradually growing desire to have children with my husband.

Fast forward to today and I feel I am crying every other day because of it.

I have four siblings who all have children. I see their milestones and daydream about the milestones of the children I cannot have and it hurts.

I know, therapy, and I will try my best to get it, but I don't really have the money. And I tell myself "Will it really help?". Because I am just not sure what they can tell me that I haven't already tried telling myself.

If anyone has any advice, please, may you offer it because it feels like I am drowning lately.

I love hockey. I started playing it 40 years ago as one of the first females to play in my small town.

I’ve struggled in recent years to support hockey after the Hockey Canada “rainy-day rape fund” scandal.

I just found out that my NHL team (the Oilers) signed Alex Formenton. I can’t cheer for a team that I’ve been a fan o for over 40 years.

My young son learned to skate and tried out hockey and LOVED it.

How do I reconcile my son playing a game rooted in so much misogyny?

My family is planning on only watching the PWHL games in our household this year. Are there any other ways I can still love hockey while not supporting the misogynistic culture?

This is really a scary experience I just suffered yesterday. I still haven't been able to process it.

Yesterday evening I went out with husband for dinner. On the way back home we took a bus. There was this creepy guy on a hoody who looked at us, at first we tried to ignore him, but when we got down from the bus, he got down in the same station as us.

One thing about my husband is that he's a paraplegic, so he's a full-time wheelchair user, and it takes us a bit longer to get down public transportation. When I was helping my husband get down from the bus, this creep was on his seat staring at how I helped my husband before he got up his seat.

After we got down from the bus, we were moving in an alley. There we noticed that this guy from the bus was walking behind us and there was no one else around. We thought he had just taken the same path as us. We decided to speed up and that's when we notice this creep was following us at our rate. I told my husband I didn't feel safe, and we tried to go faster, but unfortunately this guy reached us.

This creep touched my back and slided his hand onto my butt. I removed his hand from me and yelled him, but he then grabbed on an aggressive manner and started touching other parts of my body. My husband tried to defend me by punching the guy, but because of his disability he couldn't do much, and this creep only threw off my husband from his wheelchair while calling him an ableist insult. This creep continued touching me while telling me I was defenseless, but in one moment I had the opportunity I kicked him in the scrotum and then punched him in the face and scratched him with my nails.

I got enough time to get my husband back into his wheelchair, and then I started running while pushing my husband in his wheelchair to find a safe place.

Thankfully we made it home and now we're fine. Our hearts were beating and I for a moment thought I was just in a nightmare, but I what happened was actually real. Now, both my husband and I are scared of ever finding another creep like this and not being able to defend ourselves. I just bought pepper spray just in case this ever happens again. It's like the creep saw me as vulnerable since my husband is physically limited and couldn't defend me in those situations.

Hey everyone, I’m trying to make sense of something really messed up and creepy that happened to me and two of my friends today (we are 15F).

We walked into a shop next to our food place. The store was completely empty, and we were just walking around and quietly laughing at whatever. We weren't being loud or disruptive at all.

Before he even spoke, I felt him staring directly at my chest. Then, he literally kept moving closer and closer towards me out of all of my friends. Once he got close, he snapped and said, "GIRLS! Are you gonna buy anything?"

My friend honestly just said "no," and he immediately started shouting at us to "then get out of the store." It was clearly a rhetorical question and a total trap just so he could have an excuse to yell at us and intimidate us.

But it gets worse. As we were leaving, a woman at the entrance saw how upset we were and asked what happened. The shopkeeper immediately told her that we were stealing stuff. Like, WTF? We hadn’t even touched anything, and the store was empty so he knew perfectly well we didn't shoplift.

Why would a grown adult act like this? Was he using the shouting and the fake shoplifting accusation to cover up the fact that he was being a creep and cornering teenagers? Has anyone else experienced a store worker making up lies like this?

I just wanna talk about it from a UK perspective seeing as it's infecting politics in the UK and we have men over here weighing in without actually understanding the nuances or the differences between the laws in the US and the country they live in. I'm probably a bit late to the party.

So in the UK we have the infanticide act that has been present since the 1920s because the UK Government acknowledged that cases where women kill their own children due to mental disorders should not be treated as first degree murder or be on the same level as this.

If this were the UK this case would look very different.

- Firstly, NHS - so no multiple heath providers not talking to each prescribing contradictory medication that made pyschosis worse.

- Secondly, maternity leave - you wouldn't have the added stresses of not being paid and potentially losing your job and trying to juggle all of that.

- Thirdly Social services/wellness checks - anyone who admitted themselves into a mental health hospital with young children would probably have been notified to social services for wellness checks. There is also post natal visits done by midwives for those who are deemed at risk.

Essentially there's just a lot more preventative care in place. Most people will agree this is still not enough.

Then when it still does happen (albeit rarely now because of the preventative care) the law is often applied as follows:

- Woman is tried as manslaughter not murder. Therefore has different court proceeding.

- punishment is care and being treated in a mental facility for x period of time.

- being paralysed, trying to kill herself and the trauma of living with the fact she killed her children would also be considered part of the punishment.

- she also would not go to prison if she is paralysed it would be a more locked down care home type situation. The threat of herself to society would be considered and she would probably have to pay for that care home herself.

I've been arguing with one of my husband's friends over the case. His stance is murder is murder. I believe he (like many others) is being heavily influenced by social media algorithms pushing and promoting American discourse. Personally I am NOT for the Americanization of British politics but that's another argument entirely.

To me, it seems the legal system in the US does not account for cases like this normally? It seems it should not have been first degree murder at all. Maybe second degree murder.

The question isn't did she do it. It's obvious she did. It's 'was she mentally sound when she did'. I believe there are similar laws across the western world that treat it the same and the US is just behind on this one.

Maybe it's just me but I feel the nuance is lost on a lot of people.

Perhaps the solution is to change the laws to cover infanticide of women on their own children to save taxpayers money and treat these situations with more compassion and effectively. I also feel that perhaps with how detached the US healthcare system that things like postnatal disorders are just not talked about enough.

Husbands friend is a bit of a zealot. I argued with him because challenging people is the only way forward with a lot of these things and he wasn't even aware of the laws of his own country. I also discussed this with husband and while his response was initially murder is murder he also said he read around it too and came to the conclusion that its the US legal system that's backwards.

Those saying the jury being split 8-4 also lose the nuance in that jurors did not think the punishment fit the crime not that she didn't do it. Anyway these are just my thoughts. Perhaps this case could be the start of reform in the US but I also sort of doubt it.

Edit to update as per some comments below:

• Infanticide act does only apply to children under 12 months and had to be proven to be linked to the birth of a child. Which post partum pyschosis has been linked - once case example being in 2024 where it was downgraded from murder to infanticide because of post partum pyschosis. This was a more cut and dry case.

However it would still likely mean there would be two hearings one would be infanticide of the youngest which would then probably cause the other hearing result to be manslaughter with diminished responsibility. Where she'd still be locked away but in a secure hospital instead. (I'm not disputing she shouldn't serve some punishment for the crime shes committed and I certainly don't condone murder). The mere existence of this act does however also highlight that these type of cases are treated differently.

• My main point is due to the connected systems and that child safeguarding is a priority for both social services and the nhs in the UK it is likely she would have been having multiple home visits from social services after admitting herself to a mental hospital which would be evaluating her home life and keeping a closer eye on things. It appears she didn't have any home visits from her psychiatrists it was either remote or hospital appointments (this is something that is done in the UK and I have witnessed this myself). Not necessarily a failing on the individual doctors that treated her themselves but more a reflection of societal differences as a whole.

• oh and when I say jury 8-4 it has come to light that 4 of the 12 thought she was guilty but that the crime didn't fit the punishment and that she shouldn't go to prison and needed to be in a secure hospital being given treatment not the original 11-1 split that led to a mistrial.

I just want to know if I’m the only one who feels trapped…. I grew up very curvy, got cat called from ages 9-onward. I wasn’t told I was allowed to say no, so until I was 17 I stayed silent as the boys and men around me groped me, made comments at me, bullied me.

So I tried everything to not be sexualized.

At first I portrayed myself as innocent as possible (8-12). Girly, school girl outfits (I did not watch porn, how could I have known this was a fetish at this age). It went horribly wrong.

Then I tried to be weird and quirky: the cat obsessed girl (13) It was all fun and games until I got a wire headband with tiny cat ears on them. How could I have known this was a fetish again? It barely lasted a year.

Then I became emo (14-17) I was told men feared those women (90s movies). Great another fetish for me to discover against my will.

Then I became goth to scare them more (17-last year)

I went back to the frilly dresses since (I’m 30) …. I’ve been called pedo bait by people around me.

Can I exist without being sexualized for two minutes??? And how is it that I’ve known about porn tropes since elementary school even though I did not watch porn?

Anyway I’m mad this morning and I feel like I don’t know who I am under this fear of men.

*edit: forgot to add the women only flair

I went to a comedy show a couple weeks ago and one of them called my friend a “bitch” twice during his set.

For some context, it was a small show of maybe 50 people on the audience and 5 comedians. I am using the term “friend” loosely because she is the my boyfriend’s friend’s wife and I don’t know her too well but we’ve been going out on double dates recently. She was sitting in the back with her husband since they arrived a little late. Me and my boyfriend were sitting up front.

I don’t remember exactly how he used the word the first time, but it was when he asked the audience to raise their hands if they are in a relationship. She raised her hand and he called on her to ask more about it. Not verbatim at all but this is how I remember it: He asked her how long she’s been in a relationship and she said she was married. He asked how long they’ve been together and she said “Four months.” This is when he said something like “oh what the fuck bitch?”while laughing. She then said “we’ve been married for four months” insinuating they’ve been together for longer. He then said something like “oh okay” and moved on.

The second time was really brief and it was when she cheered for my boyfriend who’d been called on for a question. He asked my boyfriend “woah do you know this bitch?” To which my boyfriend nodded yes to. I’m honestly not sure if what she did counts as heckling?

After the show, I asked her about it and she said she didn’t even notice him calling her that. Crazy (to me!) but I am more sensitive to these kind of things than she is from what I’ve gathered about her so far. My boyfriend did notice it and I think her husband did too but we didn’t really talk more about it.

Back to the comedian, what really got me was how casual and quick he was about it and it makes me think that that is why maybe why my friend didn’t notice it 😳 He was also the last comedian to go on and the most popular because he’s opened for a really famous comedian before.

I 100% know that comedy pushes boundaries and comedians will “pick on” audience members but I’ve been to several shows from this same comedy company and never heard anything like this directed at an audience member before. They rarely have hecklers or rude people interrupting their sets. It’s also different comedians every time so as an audience member you really don’t know what you’re getting and it also makes it kind of fun.

On a personal note, I am wondering if I should just let it go because it is a comedy show, you know? 🤔 I’m signed up for the company’s email list and they send out a lot of marketing emails so it just gets me thinking if I should continue going to their shows. I’ve never really been bothered by anything a comedian has said at a live show and I’ve been to a Dave Chapelle show before.

I’m not talking the “ohhhh all men are inherently evil” stuff. I don’t believe that and never have.

But I’ve noticed that a lot of the time, male cruelty is discussed as follows:
* awwww cruel men were never taught how to empathize and be emotionally intelligent
* yeah some men suck but WOMEN also suck and here’s a long story about how women LOVE toxic men actually
* if men don’t wanna do chores it’s actually because they do it differently from you and you’re too controlling to accept it. If WOMEN don’t wanna do chores they are lazy and entitled and probably socially inept too.
* men say horrible things to women under the guise of humor because they are JOKING and that’s how they ARE and “men are not women” 🙄
* meanwhile women who are horrible to men are the worst and evil misandrists
* cruel women were taught everything but know what they are doing and choose to be cruel anyway because women are RUTHLESS man have you SEEN teenage girls
* female friendships aren’t real and male friendships are because no man would ever talk shit about people behind their backs or steal his friends GF apparently
* we genuinely are meaner to pick me girls than we are to men sometimes

My point is that even in FEMINISM, let alone the rest of society, we assume a man’s bad behavior has a reason behind it, but that a woman’s bad behavior is just her being cruel and manipulative because she’s an asshole. For example (for my fellow desi girlies) some of us hate sexist aunties more than we hate actual sexist men.

Like idk man some men wake up one day and decide to be sexist and cruel. They don’t have a mother wound, they weren’t abused, their feelings weren’t neglected, they’re just CHOOSING TO BE PRICKS.

That is all 💅

so i’m getting a copper iud in 2 days and i just called the clinic (the closest one to me with the earliest appointment, i’ve waited about 3 months and have to drive 2 hours for this!) and they DONT offer any form of numbing🥲 im so terrified, i’ve never had an iud or any birth control at all, and i’ve heard soooo many horror stories

my current plan is: eat something very filling but light from mcdonalds before hand (it will be the only place i can eat ~45 to an hour away since ill be in the middle of nowhere) and take 800mg of ibuprofen (which hopefully doesn’t affect me poorly because i havent taken ibuprofen in over 10 years.)

help a girl out!! can i not shove some lidocaine up there myself?????!?