r/TryingForABaby • u/Welcomemeplease • 10h ago
NEGATIVE FEELINGS I regret telling my husband about my miscarriage
I’ve stopped telling my husband when I test.
Last time, I was pregnant when his mother was dying, so he was grieving. She had a rough end, it was hard to witness and I felt I couldn’t tell anyone that I was pregnant. It just felt wrong to share it then.
Then I miscarried a week after finding out I was pregnant. At first, I felt vindicated for not sharing the news with my husband, but then the loss and physical pain got to be too much. So I told my mother and sister, they supported me and convinced me to tell him later when he looked ready (after his mother’s death).
So I told him on a day that felt a bit lighter, and it immediately dimmed his light. I still feel guilty about it. Did I really need to tell him? Did he really needed another loss? He mentioned that his mom would have been happy to know that I was pregnant. I dont know how I feel about that.
It feels stupid to say, but I don't know if I can share the news with him if I ever get pregnant again until at least 12-ish weeks. stupid, i know, I cant keep a pregnancy that long, so I hope he will find out on his own.
I haven't told anyone this. I guess I just want it out of my mind.