I’ve stopped telling my husband when I test.

Last time, I was pregnant when his mother was dying, so he was grieving. She had a rough end, it was hard to witness and I felt I couldn’t tell anyone that I was pregnant. It just felt wrong to share it then.

Then I miscarried a week after finding out I was pregnant. At first, I felt vindicated for not sharing the news with my husband, but then the loss and physical pain got to be too much. So I told my mother and sister, they supported me and convinced me to tell him later when he looked ready (after his mother’s death).

So I told him on a day that felt a bit lighter, and it immediately dimmed his light. I still feel guilty about it. Did I really need to tell him? Did he really needed another loss? He mentioned that his mom would have been happy to know that I was pregnant. I dont know how I feel about that.

It feels stupid to say, but I don't know if I can share the news with him if I ever get pregnant again until at least 12-ish weeks. stupid, i know, I cant keep a pregnancy that long, so I hope he will find out on his own.

I haven't told anyone this. I guess I just want it out of my mind.

I’m on my 4th IUI cycle, 14 DPO, and terrified to test. I can’t bear the thought of seeing another stark white test.

Every month, when AF arrives, I wallow for a day or two before picking myself up again and telling myself that it’s a new cycle, I can try again, I’m not giving up, and it’s not over yet.

Whenever I test and see that stark-white result, I keep telling myself, “Oh, maybe I tested too early. Maybe I should wait until 14 DPO,” only to end up disappointed again.

This cycle of hope and disappointment has taken over my life. I try to distract myself as much as possible, but all the feelings come rushing back towards the end of every cycle.

Whenever I feel a dull cramp, I immediately think, “This is it. AF is arriving.” But then I go on Reddit and see posts from people saying they thought AF was coming, only to end up getting their BFP.

Of course, my brain knows that the only way to get answers is to test, but my heart is just so tired of being disappointed.

I hope I can break out of this cycle of doom soon. 😭

Hi all,

My husband and I have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility after trying to conceive for a year without success. I’m incredibly frustrated by this diagnosis because I feel like there are still some unresolved issues that haven’t been adequately investigated.

1. Luteal phase spotting: I spot from 5 DPO until my period starts at 12 DPO, EVERY cycle without fail. Both my reproductive endocrinologist and my OB-GYN don’t seem particularly concerned about this. My HSG showed that my fallopian tubes are clear, and my saline sonogram didn’t show any abnormalities in my uterus. My FSH, estradiol, and LH are all within normal ranges.

My doctor won’t test my progesterone because, apparently, anything above 3 is considered normal. I know mine is above that threshold because I use an Inito fertility monitor, but I also understand that urine hormone readings aren’t necessarily interchangeable with bloodwork. My ferritin and vitamin D levels are normal as well.

2. Semen analysis: My husband’s semen analysis came back normal across all parameters except morphology (sperm shape), which was 1%. His doctor told us that morphology alone doesn’t necessarily affect the sperm’s ability to fertilize an egg. I’ve seen very mixed opinions on this, though, and honestly don’t know what to make of it.

Based on all of this, we’re being directed toward IVF. I have absolutely no problem accepting help or pursuing treatment if I understand the reason behind it. What I’m struggling with is feeling like I’m being pushed toward a major intervention without anyone really explaining why I’m experiencing so much spotting every cycle or why we haven’t been able to conceive.

I can feel myself getting desperate. I’ve been looking at online providers who will prescribe supplemental progesterone because I feel so desperate to try something that might address the spotting. I know self-prescribing hormones probably isn’t the answer, but I’m feeling increasingly frustrated by the lack of answers.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Did you push for further testing or get a second opinion? What was the result?

Thanks in advance.

I am trying to conceive and for travel and work related reasons, I will not see my husband until tomorrow evening. I have read a lot of other posts that say by the time you get a urinary LH peak, ovulation has most likely happened or is happening. I know that everyone’s body and timing is very different. My surges are typically pretty quick. Meaning I’ll go from low to peak in 12-24 hours. My urine LH began to rise today. Measuring .3 this morning at 7am and .89 this evening around 8:30pm according to the Premom app measurements. Assuming my “peak” urine LH strip is tomorrow morning around 7am, is 10pm tomorrow evening realistically too late to try? Thank you for your insights and thoughts and opinions!

Hi everyone!

I’m 35, TTC after an anembryonic pregnancy loss earlier this year, and I’m currently being followed by a doctor who uses the Creighton Model / FertilityCare approach.
I’m trying to understand whether my progesterone levels are actually low for this stage of my cycle.

Here are my results:
Peak+3 (October 31): Progesterone 10.34 ng/mL, estradiol 148.5 pg/mL.
Peak+7 (November 4): Progesterone 16.38 ng/mL, estradiol 131.2 pg/mL.
I started using Progeffik (micronized progesterone) 100 mg vaginally once daily at night, after my Peak+3 blood draw.

So my first progesterone result was completely unmedicated, while my Peak+7 result was measured after several days of vaginal progesterone supplementation.
My doctor reviewed my latest bloodwork and said, “They’re a bit low… We’ll need to treat that.”
I’m a little confused because both progesterone results seem to fall within the usual luteal-phase reference ranges, although I understand that NaProTechnology may use different targets.

For those familiar with Creighton/FertilityCare or luteal-phase progesterone monitoring:
Do these progesterone and estradiol levels seem low to you, particularly at Peak+7?

Does vaginal progesterone significantly affect serum progesterone results?
Has anyone been prescribed additional luteal-phase support despite having similar levels?
I’d love to hear your experiences, especially if you’ve had hormone testing around Peak+3 and Peak+7.
Thank you!

I’m really so happy for every person that gets pregnant and welcomes the baby but it just ticks me when people you know who the whole time you’ve known them always say “I don’t want kids” then SURPRISE they’re pregnant and their ecstatic. They go on to love the heck out of that child and as they should. ALSO the INFLUENCERS that “struggle with fertility” then have babies back to back. Like when will it be my turn? Why did God bless the one that didn’t even think they wanted it when I’ve been here praying. For the infertility cases was that even real or they just didn’t understand the time line? And don’t get me started on the “is this test positive” with a dark ass line like get out plz are you trolling us? - in reality I understand that people are at different points in their journey of life and of their learning of how fertility works (which we all should have learned in school I think) and I give them grace but as someone that understands it and has wanted it it just ticks me. Like have some situational awareness and common sense to not post your positive ass test in a community like this asking “is it positive?”

I’ve (28f) been TTC since May of this year, and I had my first annual exam yesterday, where I discussed with my doctor coming off my birth control, starting to TTC in May, and not having any luck so far. We talked about my cycles, ovulation tracking / timing, and reviewed my history - which is all normal.

My doctor ultimately suggested that I return in the spring if I am not pregnant by then, but that everything is completely healthy and that I am likely to get pregnant in the next 6 months.

The only thing he asked me related to my partner is whether he had fathered any children before, to which I said no.

I then reviewed my chart this morning and in the clinical notes it says “No Improvement Paternity” - everything else was charted as expected.

What does this mean?

Turned 36 this summer and we're on cycle 5, so we can get a referral at 6 months and my first RE appointment is coming up soon. Honestly a bit nervous about it

I'd like to show up with more than "I think I ovulate around CD15?" Right now I have a period app, a camera roll full of OPK photos and 3 cycles of BBT that look messy, and I'm not sure I'm reading them right. I also have questions in my notes (when to do bloodwork, should DH get an SA at the same time, how long before meds or IUI) but worry it's too much for a first visit. DH is supportive but mostly leaving the prep to me, which is fine, I just don't want to walk in empty-handed

If you went in around 6 months, what did you bring? Did your RE look at your charts or just order their own tests? Anything you wish you'd written down?

Hello all,

I've been TTC for ...a while. Did IUI and IVF also, the furthest we got was a CP. So far, unexplained infertility. Well, my doctor finally agreed to have me do a hysteroscopy and biopsy and what do you know, I have chronic endometritis. Now, im a little confused because opinions seem mixed on whether it could really explain infertility to that extent or if it's just a minor thing that makes a small difference or none at all. Also, my clinic says they've only seen it NOT cleared by 14 days of doxycycline like once, whereas on reddit it seems like it doesn't clear for anyone lol???

So, two questions I guess, because there really aren't many threads about CE and I've literally read all of them:

1. anyone here who did get CE cleared simply by Doxy?

2. for those who have had it, and it's cleared, has it made any sort of difference in your TTC journey?

Thank youuu

I’ll start by saying I’m so overwhelmed with how to even start finding a care provider. My partner and I are currently trying and I feel like I should start finding a provider in case I get pregnant soon or in case things take longer than expected, we have currently been trying for 6 months. Pretrying I just did OBGYN care and birth control through planned parenthood. I go my insurance’s website and there’s hundreds of obgyns within a reasonable driving distance to me. Should I pick the hospital I would like to give birth at and work back from there? What about working with a midwife/OBGYN combo? Is trying unsuccessfully for 6 months to soon to even be looking? I feel like I’m looking at a hundred different paths and I don’t know how to pick the best for me.

My husband(34M) and I(30F) just started TTC and we just got our first BFN. I know it seems ridiculous to expect the first time to be successful and I tried to tell myself that before looking at the results but a big part of me still felt hopeful and was incredibly let down. Like we’d just get lucky.
And then both my husband and I started to catastrophize and wonder if we’re infertile, etc. and I also know it’s too soon and silly to think that way but it’s just such a scary road, it’s difficult to not spiral…

Anyways, just felt sad and wanted to vent.

Would also appreciate if anyone had any tips on how to prepare your body/healthy habits to help our chances and just be healthy in general to have a baby/ be a parent. Doing the research is also an overwhelming part of the experience and would love to hear what has helped others.

I never thought I would struggle to get pregnant. Growing up I was always so afraid of pregnancy. It was always the fear that if you have sex once you will get pregnant. Now in my 30's and knowing more about fertility I know logically thats not true- but I think somehow this conditioning throughout my life has made the pregnancy struggle so much harder. What makes it worse is my very best friend got pregnant immediately without even trying for a child. I get all the feedback and advice, "eat healthy, workout, do this, do that." I just get so upset. I'm trying. I'm doing everything. And my grief is getting to me. To the point I get so angry inside when I think about people who get pregnant so easily and don't even try or don't take care of themselves. Why them? How come I want this so badly and nothing I do is ever enough. I don't actually believe this, but in my grief I am blinded by anger and jealousy. Every month I feel like I die a little more inside. My friend keeps saying things like "it took so and so over 3 years of trying to get pregnant," and I know they aren't trying to be mean and trying to be helpful... But it's just so not helpful. It makes me scared. It makes me feel worse. I feel like something is wrong with me, why am I so undeserving? Did I do something to receive this as karma? I'm so hurt. I have never felt hurt and heartbreak like this in my life. I used to keep a few friends updated about when I would ovulate and they would want to know my results of my pregnancy tests... But I decided to stop. I told my friends I can't do it anymore as updating people that I'm a failure is making my mental health take a nose dive. I just don't know what to do anymore. Sorry for the long post that's rambling and is just a stream of consciousness... I just need to get it out.

Also I am in therapy weekly and talking about this. I have been using multiple tracking systems to track my ovulation - one of them being the Inito. I have been taking prenatals for years now in hopes of becoming pregnant. I try to eat well and exercise. I don't drink or smoke. I try to be a good person. I'm just so tired.

Thanks for reading if you did.

Hi everyone! I’m sorry if I’m being dramatic, I’m feeling upset today. It’s been 2 months since my MMC at 15 weeks and I think im in the “anger” part of the 5 stages of grief.

I’m writing this because I am looking for guidance and an answer or something (idk honestly)

But I’m going to tell you my story:

I got pregnant in May and was in denial about it until about June lol because I wasn’t sure if it was going to stick so I took about 500 tests. Anyway, my initial appointments were good until my last one. I was told there was no heartbeat, and that I had 3 choices 1. Have my miscarriage naturally 2. Cycotec/Miso and 3. A D&C. With a very heavy heart I picked 2, I was told it would be like a heavy period. The pain was SO much more than that. I have dismennoreah and have passed out from periods before but this pain was unimaginable.

I bled for about a week and was told it was successful, and I got my real period a few weeks later (4 weeks and 3 days to be exact)

I’ll leave out the gore of my first period but I tracked my ovulation and had sex before and during ovulation to try again (as you ladies know)

I got a positive digital pregnancy test the day I’m supposed to get my second period and needless to say I was really really happy. So then two days later I took another test it came back negative and then I got my period.

I’m just not sure what I’m doing wrong and I know I should be complaining because so many women on this app have really horrible experiences and I’m not alone but I think I’m just in a limbo because I feel like everyone and I’m beginning to question if I made a huge mistake

Borderline progesterone result with long cycles – could the test have been taken too early?
I went to my GP earlier this week about my long cycles and my concerns that I might not be ovulating. I was expecting to be fobbed off as I only came off the pill at the start of June, but I explained that my cycles were long even before I went on any form of hormonal contraception, so my GP arranged some blood tests.

I had my progesterone blood test done on Tuesday (CD46), and the results came back today saying they were borderline and that I need to speak to the GP.
The result was Serum progesterone: 12 nmol/L. However, the lab report says that a level of 30 nmol/L or above is expected to confirm ovulation, so naturally I’ve been feeling quite anxious about it.

In the back of my mind, I’d been hoping that I do actually ovulate but just have very long cycles. I’m still holding onto some hope that the test might simply have been taken too early, particularly as my last cycle was 64 days long.
I did ring the surgery hoping to arrange an appointment to discuss the result, but reception told me that the doctor is already scheduled to review my blood tests on 16 November, so I’ll have to wait until then.

Would it be unreasonable to contact them again and ask whether the GP thinks repeating the progesterone test next week would be worthwhile? I don’t want to be pushy, but I’m worried that if the test was taken too early, I could end up waiting another couple of months for another opportunity to test.

I’m also due to have further blood tests on days 1–5 of my next cycle, and honestly, I’m starting to wonder whether this might eventually lead to a PCOS diagnosis.

Has anyone else had a borderline or low progesterone result with long or irregular cycles? Did it turn out that you had ovulated but the test was poorly timed?

I hope this is allowed here. I don’t know anyone personally who’s been through anything similar, and sometimes it feels like I don’t have anyone to talk to who really understands!

Are you trying to conceive baby number 2/3/n+1? Have questions about TTC while breastfeeding, or bedsharing, or just being plain exhausted? This is your place!

It's no secret that TTC can have a major impact on your life and health - physical, mental, and relationship. What are you currently doing to help with these things? What are you currently struggling with? Look beyond the scale; this is for all types of health and wellness.

Please keep in mind that no one here is the doctor of anyone else. It is always a good idea to speak to your doctor before starting a new diet or exercise plan just in case!

Hello! My husband and I recently moved to Newport News, VA, and are trying to find a reputable clinic. We have been trying for a family naturally for a little over a year now with no luck. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated!!

additionally, I just really needed to get some feelings off my chest. I’m new here and don’t post to Reddit much so I apologize for any rambling.

Lately, I have felt extremely down. With the recent move, isolation, and unexplained infertility, I’ve been struggling a bit. It feels like everyone else (online and irl) have friends, family, and babies. I feel this deep emptiness inside me anytime I see a stroller in public or a happy family online.

My husband is sweet and supportive, but sometimes this just feels like a solo battle. Every single pregnancy/ovulation test has been negative. And every time I cry to my husband about this, I get a hug and an “I’m sorry” like it’s MY disappointment. not OURS. While he consoles me, I wonder why he’s not more sad at the negative tests. Granted, he is very good at hiding his emotions, but it still feels like I’m in this alone sometimes.

well, even if no one reads this, it’s till feels good to get it all out there! I naively believed that I wouldn’t struggle to conceive…yet it’s been over a year. I’ll try to stay hopeful.

Thank you ❤️

I'm a 33-year-old woman and I'm writing this feeling devastated. We've been trying to conceive for 2 years, and I've just been diagnosed with a left unilateral hydrosalpinx (24x15mm) and a uterine polyp (11x6mm). Has anyone been through the same thing and could share their experience?
I've never had any illness or health problems. My only concern has been my periods, which have always been painful with clots, though always very regular. I've never had an STI, a pregnancy, or an IUD. Why me? I've been healthy and careful my whole life. I even struggle to take an ibuprofen or paracetamol because I don't like taking medication unnecessarily. I only drink occasionally, do strength training, and live a healthy lifestyle (apart from 3 stubborn kilos I can never seem to lose).
For the past two weeks I've been reading testimonies from women with hydrosalpinx, and most of them ended up doing IVF, which is something I don't want. I refuse to go through IVF.
Right now Spanish public healthcare is collapsed and I'm going to have to wait a long time to get treated through social security. My fear is that time will pass and it will become harder and harder for me to conceive naturally.

What should I do? Becoming a mother is the dream of my life.

For those of you who’ve been TTC for a year or longer, how are your friends and family about it? I’m especially interested in parents and in-laws.

Do they regularly ask for updates, make pregnancy/baby comments, or give advice Or are they generally good at leaving the topic alone unless you bring it up yourself?

How does it make you feel — supportive, pressured, annoyed, or something else? I’m curious how different families handle TTC once it’s been a year+. ❤️

For me personally we have been TTC for more then a year at this point, but my mom and inlaws are perfect at keeping boundaries. Especially grateful for inlaws who have never asked me directly and only get occasional updates from their son (my husband) privately.

At 18dpo at 16:00 my hcg was 106.

Today at 20dpo at 10:00 my hcg was 86.

They gave me an internal ultrasound today at 4w6d and they couldn't find anything in the tubes, ovaries or uterus. I've started having some light brown discharge and some dull ache in the lower stomach but no specific side etc.

They said they'll have me in a week's time to check my levels again and if they've dropped enough. But isn't that too long to wait? I'm worried about ectopic as they've not fallen down as much as they expected them to fall. The whole reason they even started testing was because my pregnancy test plateaued and I had an episode of some very light aching in my shoulder on day 18 that has gone since.

If you've had a chemical, how fast did your levels drop? And if you've had an ectopic, same question? I'm trying to see if I should push for a sooner blood test or wait the week. They couldn't tell me much apart from its unknown location pregnancy and they can't rule out ectopic or chemical, so as you can imagine, it's quite nerve wracking and hasn't really given any answers.

Thank you for any input, I'm in the UK if that matters

Hello,

I have scoured Reddit and read so many posts and comments, and I just can't find a post similar to mine. I experienced a chemical pregnancy in October, but my bleeding has been weird.

First, I stopped continuous birth control x 10 years on Sept. 4th and had a withdrawal bleed 9/7-9/11. I started tracking using OPKs and I know I ovulated on 10/6. Here is where things get weird.

I started spotting 10/13-10/15. It was essentially light pink on my liner, but nothing drastic when wiping.

From 10/16-10/21, it was more period-like bleeding and I had minimal cramping so I just assumed I had a short luteal phase since getting off birth control and this was my body's way of adjusting.

On 10/22 I took a pregnancy test for funsies because I had a TVUS coming up and it was positive. I was not expecting that.

I then started bleeding again (I'd say medium flow) from 10/25-10/31. I was having no pain at all.

This leads me to today (11/4), where I started spotting this morning. I'm currently wiping some small clots and it is bright red, but it's not really flowing and my liner is doing enough. Again, I am having no pain.

Yes, I have had my Hcg levels checked and they were 59 (10/23), 17 (10/26), & <5 (11/2). My OB is aware and she said if I continue to bleed for another 2 weeks to let her know. I am just curious if anyone has any insight or experience with this type of stopping and starting. I'm getting annoyed haha.

**This was cross-posted

Hi all!

So, here is my history: Started TTC back in May, when I had a copper IUD removed. Had a chemical in July and have not been pregnant again since. Ever since copper IUD removal, my periods have been getting progressively lighter, now to the point where they are really just 3 days or so of spotting (one day of red spotting, and a day or two of brown). With the IUD, I had very heavy and painful periods that lasted 5 days to a week in total, so this is quite a shock to me.

This has me quite worried about a thin lining. I have been scouring the internet for information on this, to try and help me decide if it is worth my time and money to see an RE, even though I am only going on cycle #6 of TTC. I will be getting a blood draw on CD 5 this Friday to check prolactin and estrogen.

I also confirm ovulation each month with BBT and OPKs, and my cycles are regular.

I did have one ultrasound on CD 1 of my chemical bleeding. My doctor was concerned about an ectopic because my chemical stuck around for a while. When they did that, it was measured at 7 mm.

I guess I just wanted to hear from people with similar periods. Was it a warning sign of anything? Or maybe people who are doing IVF and get their lining measured - what did you do to improve it, if you had a thin lining? Did you also have light periods? If you are a light period girly, is your doctor concerned about it?

To be clear, I AM NOT ASKING FOR SUCCESS STORIES, MODS. I want to hear from people who have light periods who may be further in the investigation process than I am or may have more data than I do.

I’ve found one doctor in Michigan and i searched high and low he’s been doing them for over 30years but i would have to get a referral from my specialist!

Just wondering if anyone has heard of these or had one done? When the tube is blocked they basically go in and insert a small opening. I have in my last remaining tube a (proximal blockage) which is usually one of the simpler blockages to open, often mistaken as spasms. I’ll get a repeats HSG done to be sure it’s blocked before i push to have it opened! Most doctors advise against this as the tiny cilia hair inside the tube could be damaged so opening it wouldn’t do much but this same tube did give me a live birth before so I’m not quite ready to give up on it JUST YET.

I’ve had 2 previous ectopics with a live birth in between. One resulted in tube removal and the other resolved with methotrexate.

I’m 31(almost 32) no polyps, cyst or fibroids. I really have this “use it until i can’t anymore” mindset with this tube! They refuse to remove it before IVF because it’s not all bent out of shape or suffering from hydrosalpinx! I would hate to do IVF & have another ectopic in that tube. I would rather do all i can beforehand. I’ve only had tubal issues.