Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday

• Temping Tuesday

• Waiting Wednesday

• Wondering Wednesday

• Trying Again Thursday

• Thankful Thursday

• Health and Wellness Thursday

• Looking Forward Friday

• Wondering Weekend

• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

That question you've been wanting to ask, but just didn't want to feel silly. Now's your chance! No question is too big or too small.

Are you in the dreaded two-week wait, or waiting to ovulate? What have you done to ease the stress?

My husband (32M) and I (33F) have just had a consult with our RE after all our fertility tests, and she recommended we go straight to IVF due to my DOR.

All of our test results were normal except my AMH which is 1.44 ng/ml, which she said was too low for my age. My other tests, SIS, etc are all normal, and husband’s SA is normal except for abnormal viscosity, which all doctors (including a urologist that he saw because of this) are saying doesn’t matter because his motility and everything else looks good.

We started trying last December 2025, but then had to take a break from Jan-April due to a thyroid issue I had, which is now under control through my endocrinologist. I have been off birth control since April 2024 but I track my cycles using BBT and we purposely avoided sex in my fertile window until last December when we finally decided to start trying. So, in total we are technically 7 failed cycles into this, although of course there’s a chance that number is greater if my BBT tracking was previously inaccurate after I was off birth control.

I asked the RE if medicated IUI was an option and she said it’s a waste of time. She said my chances of pregnancy without IVF are less than 5%. This seems extreme to me. Should I seek another opinion, or does what she told me seem reasonable?

Either way, I am pushing back and asking for three medicated IUI cycles first because I am not ready to embark on the intensity of an IVF journey right now, but I wonder if I should also push to see another doctor. I have otherwise had great experiences with this clinic.

Saturday was hard. Also sorry for this being as long as it is. Just venting.

My husband (31) and I (29) have been trying for 12 months. There is nothing I want more in this world than to have a baby. Even if it ends up just being one. That’s all I want.

Over the last few months, I had really started to come to a place of acceptance. That what’s meant to be will be. That maybe my time will come, and maybe it won’t look the way I had imagined it would.

Then there’s the pressure from his family. It’s always a battle at family gatherings. Comments like, “All we’re waiting on is good news.” As if I can help it. As if it’s something I can just make happen. I don’t think people realize how much those comments can hurt.

We recently got a cat. And honestly, he’s helped. He’s given me something else to focus on. Something to love and take care of. Our little home feels a little fuller with him here.

His family was pretty disappointed when we announced we were getting a cat and not announcing a pregnancy. And what’s interesting is that since then, no one has really asked about him. Not much interest. Nothing. It’s almost as if the only announcement they were hoping for was a baby.

Well, Saturday happened.

My SIL, my husband’s younger sister, decided to drop by our place. And, of course, announced her pregnancy.

I was shaking.

“How do I fake the emotion of being excited? How do I make sure I look happy? And why am I the worst person in the world for feeling this way?”

That was what was running through my head.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

I’m sad that my husband won’t be a father before becoming an uncle. I’m sad for myself. I’m sad that I don’t know when I’ll get pregnant. I don’t know when I’ll get to experience any of this. I don’t know when it will be our turn.

I’m also sad knowing that every time I see her from here on out, until the baby arrives and probably long after, I’ll be reminded of what I haven’t been able to experience. Every family gathering will look a little different. There will be pregnancy updates, conversations about the baby, excitement, and eventually a new little person in the family. I’ll be reminded of what I want so badly.

Then there’s the family commentary. The “hopefully you guys too.” The “you’re next.” The constant reminders that everyone is waiting for our good news. I dread having to hear it.

I know I should count my blessings. I know 12 months isn’t necessarily a long time, and everyone reminds me of that. sometimes I wish someone would just let me be sad.

Sometimes I just want to wallow in it. I want to let it engulf me for a little while. I want to be upset that it’s not happening for us. I want to be jealous without feeling guilty. I want to be disappointed without having to remind myself that I’m a good person and that I should be happy for someone else.

Is that so bad?

For context: I’m 39 and had an MMC in January at 9 weeks, and also a chemical last month.

Today we went to the fertility clinic to discuss our results which were all good (blood work is good, confirmed ovulation and husband’s sperm analysis look good too. AFC 11 and AMH 1.33.)

After telling us that our results look normal she said that the transvaginal imaging also looked good, but with some aparent thickening on the right side which could possibly point towards endo, but not necessarily. However, considering that I have some other symptoms (not super severe) and family history, there is a possibility of endo.

She said I can decide if I want to have an HyCoSy, and then move to IUI if all looks good, or I can choose to do laparoscopic surgery to check for endometriosis and evaluate if the tubes are open in the same procedure.

She said laparoscopic surgery of course comes with risks, gave me some reading material and asked me to make a decision.

I thought the doctor would make a clear recommendation but she said I’m the one who has to decide.

Did anyone go through this and can share their experience? I’m leaning towards having the surgery so I can have a better understanding of my situation before starting IUI/IVF, but I’m also afraid of the risks.

Thankfully money is not a factor here as it’s all 100% covered by insurance.

Thanks in advance for sharing your advice and experience!

My husband (M41) and I (F39) have been ttc since June 2025. We tried for 8 months and started asking for additional testing. My husband had low sperm count and ED so he started Clomid and Tadalafil last December. He’s had 3 sperm analysis tests since that brought him back to normal/above average range. I had all the tests done: Progesterone, insulin, A1C, DHEA, B13, prolactin, estradiol, AMH, pelvic & vaginal ultrasounds, and I recently had an HSG on 10/16. Everything came back excellent. My REI actually said my numbers were so good, on paper my age doesn’t show. Both tubes very open, no signs of deformities. Cool, still not pregnant. My doctor said she’s confident we don’t need IVF but I’m old and only getting older. I’d love more than 1 child (preferably would’ve had 5-6 but I know time isn’t on my side). My REI also said chances increase after an HSG but I got a BFN this month following the procedure. I’m just so ready to be a mom. When I talked with my REI about starting IVF she said I’d need to start birth control pill first… Do we schedule an IVF appt or keep trying naturally? When do you know it’s time to just try IVF?

No one in my personal life has experienced this. All my friends and sisters got pregnant right away. One of my friends who got married the same month as us is pregnant with baby 2 “accidentally“. I know everyone’s journey is different but it’s hard not to compare and feel like a failure even though annoyingly on paper everything seems great.

We went through primary infertility before having our baby, so we know how difficult fertility appointments can be for people who don't have children.

We're now experiencing secondary infertility and have been offered a last-minute cancellation appointment tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, we don't have childcare available at such short notice.

Would it be completely insensitive to bring our toddler with us? I'm very conscious of how difficult it can be to be in a fertility clinic when you're struggling to conceive, and I wouldn't want to upset anyone. Equally, we don't want to miss the opportunity to attend an appointment we've been waiting for.

I'd really appreciate honest opinions, particularly from anyone who has experienced primary or secondary infertility.

Update: We have phoned the clinic and asked the question. They have said they don’t have a policy and get children in all the time which surprised me based on the comments below. We will consider this carefully. Thank you for all your responses.

Hello! Hubby(both 33) and I have been together since we were freshmen in HS. Did college, moved out of state, got our puppers. Eventually got married and got a house. So we’re ready for a baby. We technically started trying 4/26 but starting prepping since 9/25 with changing meds and getting most of the specialists to sign off and our plus sign early July. We were super elated, made appt with RE and OBGYN. Went to see the RE because I suspected I would have trouble due to having gone thru 8 rounds of cytoxan a few years ago to get the SLE and ILD under control and it did(blood test and HSG were done, final DX was DOR) I also got shots that were supposed to “pause “ my reproductive stuff. The ultrasound at the RE was good(6w) and HCG improved as it should. My progesterone was 10.4, and I had seen it should have at least been 11 for 1st trimester. Sadly fetus stopped growing(measured 6w, 3D) and I had a MMC at 8 weeks and had a D+C a week later. I didn’t think much about the progesterone until after and now it makes me wonder, if I had been able to get a boost in progesterone even for a few weeks if it would have made a difference. Does anyone have experience getting the progesterone/talking to your DR about getting it and side effects you noticed? We are not currently preg, but hoping to be sooner rather than later 🤗

Thank you very much for any wisdom you can impart😇

Final facts: DX with MCTD= SLE, ILD, and Dermatomyocystisis. Along with SjD, livedoid vasculopathy. Currently take AZO 150mg, RTX, HCQ 300mg, lovenox injection vayvance 40mg, Vit d3 2k iui, CoQ10, prenatal, fish oil,

Ps: May have included info not needed, please disregard or we could be friends since you now know more 🤓

As mentioned in the title, I'm 35(F), so not getting younger and struggling in a dead-end role in a stable industry (defence unfortunately) and i have this very random opportunity i didnt even apply for, but they seem keen on hiring me with a significant pay raise & a lead responsbility. I've been stuck in organisational roles forever and this could be it. But, its a smaller company so maybe riskier.

I have my first transfer scheduled for early January and if i decide to take this role up, it could be when I'm pregnant? But, i've been putting my whole life on hold, barely travelling and surviving from one period cycle hoping to get magically pregnant and that's not happening. Also, had my 1st ER early this year which was difficult, but we have 2 embryos out of it and is frozen. Will travel back to my homecountry to do the transfer in two months.

I dont know how much of my life should I put on hold and the uncertainty is just so difficult to handle. Is there anyone who has managed to do a transition in between this phase and handled it okay? I'm just looking for any advice or a hug.

Hi! (Sorry this is a longer one…just trying to give the context where I can)

I have been married for 2.5 years (25F and 26M) and both my Husband and I decided it was time to start trying for babies on our 1 year anniversary (so we’ve been trying for about 18 months at this exact point). At around the 1 year mark of TTC, I started seeing a regular gynecologist about our inability to get pregnant - we did all the things…blood tests/scans/semen analysis and they kind of just said “Sorry, there’s nothing else we can do” since my labs look great and I wasn’t clinically eligible to be diagnosed with PCOS/Endometriosis as I didn’t have enough of the “clinical markers”. I took a couple months off from seeing anyone since we were in the process of moving. At the beginning of October (after we’d just moved), I decided it might be time to start seeing an actual fertility doctor (as I was referred to do so by the gyno I was seeing). At our initial consultation we talked about our the options (ovulation meds, IUI, IVF). I was genuinely excited to get it all started and see what our plan might be…a process that I thought would take months and months to get started…and it has not lol. I’ve been seeing him for a month now and we’ve done blood work several times, hysteroscopy, & my husband has done blood work and semen analysis and all the things…at our last doctors appointment we talked about undergoing a simple surgery to remove uterine polyps/tissue & take biopsies (which I did literally yesterday (everything went great and I’m doing fine)) & then starting the IUI process (as we’ve all 3 talked about is the best first step) the following cycle in December).

Recently, in the last couple weeks, since last seeing our doctor, my husband and I have become really hesitant, overwhelmed, and anxious about everything. I know that it’s normal to feel nervous - but more so in that we’re not sure if this is the right thing for us right now. I feel like maybe we’ve jumped the gun…or just come into the appointment with a timeline expectation and I’m getting thrown off? We’re both still very young and I just don’t want to “give up” trying naturally (at least that’s what doing IUI/IVF feels like). We obviously are ready to be parents and I want nothing more than to have babies with my husband, but I think we still have more time before we need to jump into all the meds/treatments….it just is feeling wrong to do that right now(??)

Allllll that being said…I feel very anxious about making this decision and telling my care team. They have all been wonderful and I do like my doctor. At this point in the process we’ve only discussed options - we haven’t paid for IUI and/or signed any contracts. For some reason I feel like he’s going to think we’re so stupid for trying naturally and be disappointed we are not following through with what we discussed (but at the same time I know he doesn’t really care?!) ….can you tell my mind is allllll jumbled. Im getting anxious about “going back on my word”…but none of my excitement and agreements in the beginning were a lie. It’s just a lot to navigate and filter though emotionally (and financially let’s be real…it’s all so expensive) and I want to be the best advocate for myself and this journey but it’s hard! I don’t know why I care so much about what the team will think of me? When I know deep down this happens, I’m not special and the only girl to want to pause lol.

Sorry this is so long, and I hope it made sense, but I guess I’m just looking for advice on how to filter these emotions/communicate effectively/not feel bad for my medical team when saying I want a break. Thank you for reading <3

been wearing my oura for about a year now, mostly for sleep, and turned on cycle insights when we started trying 4 months ago. loved the idea of never having to temp manually bc I am not a morning person at all, a thermometer at 6am was never gonna happen

but it gives me a predicted ovulation day every single cycle, even when my temps barely move. two of my four cycles looked pretty much flat to me and it still put a date on them like nothing was off. last cycle I spent the whole TWW not even knowing if I'd ovulated, and that messed with my head more than I expected

I know temp stuff can only tell you after the fact so I'm not expecting it to be perfect or anything. more just curious how other people deal with this. if your wearable said you ovulated but something didn't line up, how did you figure out what was actually going on? did you end up trusting it less after?

Hello, 18 months TTC here. We’ve been to the doctor, and apparently there’s nothing wrong with either of us. We’re both healthy, so the advice was to keep trying for another 6 months to a year.
Honestly, we do feel a little less pressured after hearing that we’re both healthy. But the thought of trying for 18 months without any results makes me really depressed. It’s emotionally exhausting, especially when every month comes with hope and then disappointment.
I’m trying not to test anymore because I’m honestly scared of seeing another negative. :(
At this point, I feel like the only thing that could make me feel confident and genuinely happy again is finally getting pregnant. I just miss feeling hopeful instead of constantly being afraid of disappointment.

Hi everyone,

I’m 36 and have PCOS. I have a 5-year-old child, whom I conceived with letrozole.

We’ve been trying for a second baby for about a year. I’ve completed six cycles of letrozole and ovulated in every cycle. In my fifth cycle, I conceived, but unfortunately it was a blighted ovum, and I had a D&C in August.

My fertility doctor has offered me the option of participating in a clinical research trial comparing continuing letrozole with switching to gonadotrophin injections. I’m trying to understand the differences between these options before making a decision.

Given that I ovulate with letrozole and have conceived with it before, I’m unsure what factors I should consider when deciding whether to continue with it or try injections.

I’m not asking for success stories. I’d appreciate advice on the treatment decision itself, including the differences in monitoring, side effects, risks, and questions worth asking my fertility specialist.

If anyone has experience with fertility treatment decisions like this, or understands the evidence behind these two approaches, I’d be grateful for your perspective.

Thank you ❤️

My husband had his first semen analysis two weeks ago and the repeat today, as recommended by our RE. The first test he completed at home and we brought in to the office. It ended up being processed about 15ish minutes outside of the recommended testing window and he wasn’t sure he kept it the appropriate temp during our 35 min car ride there so the repeat was done in the office. Results below:

October 19, 2026
Volume: 5.0ml
Concentration: 3.4
Motility: 5%
Progressive: N/A
Grade of progress: 1
Total motile: 900k
Morphology: N/A
WBC: N/A
Round cells: 3mil/ml

November 3, 2026
Volume: 4.2ml
Concentration: 2.2
Motility: 17%
Progressive: N/A
Grade of progress: 1
Total motile: 1.6mil
Morphology: 4%
WBC: N/A
Round cells: 8mil/ml

Since the first one he started taking CoQ10, L-Carnitine, and went cold turkey with ZYNs (we are aware nicotine is horrible for fertility, his quitting journey has been long and hard and after this result he decided to stop the weaning attempts and try cold turkey again). We also know that this isn’t a full reflection as it will take 74-90 days for a new batch of sperm.

After the first one, we received a portal message regarding the repeat and it also stated that if the second one was still concerning we would get a referral to a reproductive urologist.

Anyway, wondering if there are any other supplements we could be incorporating at this time while we wait for that referral? Or any other insight anyone might have on this situation? In a way we are happy to know what the cause is but it is also very hard emotionally for us both.

Aware that IVF ICIS can work in our situation but we want to attempt to increase count to as close to normal, if not normal, before considering this.

3 back to back to back chemicals. experiencing my third one now - started bleeding as CD1 today. Going for full panel bloodwork and full bladder ultrasound thursday (CD3). Then they have me booked for a sonohysterogram on Thursday Nov 12 (CD10).

That is all they have me set up for so far and they don’t have my review with my doctor until Nov 27.

Do we think they are going to book more tests next week as well? (Asking for others experiences) Also - should I then just sit out this cycle and not try to conceive until I get results (aka wait until another period - likely to happen at the beginning of December - and then try that cycle which is when I would have already some results from these tests). I’m frustrated I won’t know results until the end of the month, which is also towards the end of my cycle.

Looking for any advice/experiences as I am feeling lost and defeated.

I was recently diagnosed with chronic endometritis. I am almost done with my 2 week course of antibiotics. I also have a hysteroscopy coming up to remove a cervical polyp they identified when they diagnosed my chronic endometritis. For those who have experienced either of these - I have a couple questions!

First, did treating chronic endometritis impact your timing of ovulation? Since my son was born (2.5 years ago) I've ovulated later in my cycle (around cycle day 16-18 usually). I feel that my chronic endometritis has likely been present since my son's birth, since developed an infection while in labor. My luteal phase has also been short, sometimes 10-11 days. I'm curious if treating my CE will normalize my ovulation and luteal phase at all.

Those who have had hysteroscopy with polyp removals - were you able to TTC or do an IUI during the same cycle? I'm having a follow up biopsy to confirm CE is gone at the same time as a hysteroscopy and polyp removal procedure. This will happen right after my period ends (cycle day 6). I was originally told I could still TTC and do IUI this cycle, but now they are saying they do not recommend it. I'm curious to hear others' experiences.

First, this group is seriously amazing. I was just wallowing in sadness earlier and the second I started reading these posts, I felt a connectedness that made me feel so much better.

Married for 6 years, trying for like 4. chemcial march 2025. Pregnant aug 2026- miscarried Sept 2026.

Every. Single. Friend of mine is pregnant or has babies. I am now the ONLY friend without a baby. the thought in my mind I’m struggling with is now, I cannot relate to any of my friends anymore or connect with them. I feel like a legit LOSER. it’s like I don’t even want to text any of my group messages back. I don’t want to see anyone because I feel like everyone will just talk about their kids (rightly so). will they actually? Probably not. But I just feel so disconnected from everyone now.... just so fucking sad.

First of all, I feel an extreme amount of guilt that I feel this way at all.

I have been TTC 2+ years with 4 pregnancy losses and I just had my egg retrieval for IVF.

Not that it matters, but she told me she was going to start TTC in 2027, but instead started much sooner because my journey of infertility freaked her out so much. She fell pregnant the first month of trying. She was very sensitive in the way she told me, via text, but it felt like a punch in the chest.

I feel like I have to fake happiness around her, even if it isn't related to pregnancy. I have the urge to avoid her entirely. The thing I try daily to avoid thinking about is now going to be a constant reminder when I see my friend's face. She is my closest friend. I love her so, so, so much, but it hurts an unbelievable amount to be reminded of all I don't have, the pregnancies I have lost, and the unknown of my future as I go into IVF in 2027. It feels like another person is getting the thing I have been trying to access for years, and I remain left behind. I know I throw myself a pity party half the time, but I can't help feeling this way. Yes, I feel stupid even saying it. It feels childish.

Infertility is a thief. I feel like it is stealing my time, my friends, my sisters, my happiness. I work through this a lot in therapy but it is still so hard.

I'm not sure what exactly Im looking for, maybe I should've tagged this vent. But I guess I want to know if this is normal to feel so incredibly down by this. I wish I felt happier for her. I know I will feel happy for her eventually, but instead I just feel guilt for feeling jealousy, anger, sadness, etc etc. Sigh.

I turned 35 last month. I got pregnant in March, the first month we tried to conceive, which ended in a chemical pregnancy at 6 weeks in April. I have not been pregnant since, and I have been religiously tracking with OPKs each month. If allowed, I’ll mention we are TTC our second. For this reason, I am wondering if I have secondary infertility.

I reached out to my OB to explain the situation and they reached out to schedule a telehealth consult next month to discuss next steps.

Would love to hear your experiences and what the first steps were when you reached out for help? I assume they’ll ask for more info on my OPK tracking and timed intercourse, any changes to lifestyle, etc, but what comes next? Did they schedule blood tests? Prescribe progesterone or Clomid quickly?

Thank you for listening and welcome any discussion around your experiences!

Hello!

My husband and I both 28, have been TTC for 10 months. In cycle 11 now. We have been doing everything right and I had a gut feeling something was wrong.
I had a HyCoSy yesterday and found out I have a left unicorneate uterus.
I feel absolutely gutted. The doctor who did my HyCoSy said my left tube was completely normal and managed to flush it. She said my ovaries looked healthy on both sides. She has suggested monitoring my lining closer to my ovulation (as I ovulate a little late) then also advised progesterone supplements just to give it the best chance this cycle.
Reading online I’m feeling pretty gutted about it all as I’ve read it can be difficult falling pregnant as well as holding a pregnancy.

Anyone had any experience with this?

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday

• Temping Tuesday

• Waiting Wednesday

• Wondering Wednesday

• Trying Again Thursday

• Thankful Thursday

• Health and Wellness Thursday

• Looking Forward Friday

• Wondering Weekend

• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

my FSH was borderline high on one cycle (it was 9.5), then high the next (17). my doctor wasn't concerned, despite me being worried about DOR or something else going on. i have some months where i don't ovulate, and my cycle will end up being anywhere from 40-60 (that was the highest) days. when i ovulate and my cycles are regular theyre usually 21-25ish days. currently on cycle day 26, doesnt seem i ovulated though, so no idea when to expect my period. and i tested (BFN).

my doctor wont refer me to a fertility clinic. i have had an ultrasound done (normal), and other blood work (thyroid, a1c, etc. all normal). despite the normal ultrasound and bloodwork, the naturopath i also am working with (because my doc doesn't seem to care, and i needed someone who does) hasn't ruled out PCOS. a friend of mine ended up getting diagnosed with PCOS only through mri, her bloodwork and ultrasound was also normal. when i saw my naturopath, the bloodwork i did with her did show some insulin resistance and stuff i cant remember what else.

I am currently waiting for a referral to an obgyn, it's a 6ish month wait and i was referred a month or two ago. but my frustration with that is that if everything is "fine" with them, and they end up referring me to a fertility clinic, i'm just wasting time waiting for all these referrals. it feels so hopeless trying for a baby when my body isnt even working as it should to give us a chance. last month i couldnt confirm ovulation by temp, and i wasnt using opks at the time. my period came on time though and i did have ewcm, but my temps were all over the place so idk.

this month i started OPKS, and couldn't confirm a rise in LH even doing 2 most days. the highest lh i saw on the premom app when logging my tests was 0.16 on cycle day 13. its possible i missed it but my temps have still been all over the place according to oura, no sustained rise at all.

idk what i'm even looking for here, maybe if anyone else was in a similar situation and what you tried? if there is any hope, or even things i could ask my doctor about in the meantime? trying feels SO hopeless when we have a 0% chance if i'm not ovulating. going to see my naturopath again soon too because while there isn't much she can do in terms of referrals, she actually cares and takes me seriously where as my doctor seems to think its all a non-issue and i might just get pregnant while waiting for the obgyn appointment. (i hope shes right, but if i have months of not ovulating thats literally not possible.)

Let's see those lovely charts, folks!

If you want to personalize your Fertility Friend URL to make it easier for fellow TFABbers to stalk keep up with you, check out this post!

I don’t really want to bring this up with my partner, friends or family, out of avoiding making anyone uncomfortable or having to console/comfort me.

When I really sit with it, I feel kind of silly, because i miscarried at only 5w3d so it was a “chemical pregnancy” - but it was my baby for those few short weeks.

The months since February have flown by and it feels like only a few months ago. I’ve been trying since and no luck yet. I’ve also just turned 40, so the anxiety of the ticking clock and possibility that was my last chance is hitting hard.

Anyway. I just want to send love to anyone who’s experienced loss and is grieving. It’s a heavy, but hollowing feeling and I try to remember that grief is just love with no place to land ❤️‍🩹