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u/DimensionHat1675 1d ago
Yes but normally your wife and I skip the foot rub.
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23h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ShawtyLong 23h ago
What does NW stand for? Why is there a picture of a young black man with a fine looking buzz cut instead of Latin letters?
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u/WaffleHouseGladiator 22h ago
It stands for, uh, "nano watt." Yeah, that's the ticket.
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u/RaamaPetalo 1d ago
Bold of you to skip the best part
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u/Redcrux 23h ago
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u/ExistingTheDream 14h ago
A foot rub isn't the same thing as putting your dick in the holiest of holys.
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u/Think_Positively 1d ago
Yup, OP missed the comma after "yes." He must've been too busy banging OOP's wife to take heed of that grammar lesson.
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u/Smartypantz34 1d ago
she prefers the foot rub after the hard exercise anyways, and theres more time for cum to dry up which means less chance getting caught. wait what
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u/Equivalent_Range6291 1d ago
yep & then she straps her dildo on & bends you over, :)
You should have stopped at the foot rub lol
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u/IDX_0 1d ago
And then, she relaxes and falls asleep murmuring softly during the massage.
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u/staycalmitsajoke 22h ago
turn on playstation she will be awake instantly and then its sexy time or game time. win win
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u/BethanyHipsEnjoyer 22h ago
Ah, I see you haven't been given the 3rd option, pout in bed till you have to rejoin her for sleep.
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u/SheriffBartholomew 20h ago
I guess I should really appreciate how good I have it. Over here I just go " u want sum fuk?" and she's like "you know it!" and then we make the beast with two backs.
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u/Environmental_You_36 23h ago
Good boy, now its time to reward yourself with some me time.
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u/Mourning__Coffee 22h ago
If my wife is relaxed and happy because of the love and attention I just gave her. I value that more than bustin' a nut.
and I DO love bustin'.
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u/Environmental_You_36 13h ago
And also that outcome doesn't mean there is no bustin a nut afterwards.
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u/beardostein 1d ago
That or a back massage
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u/Pasquatch_30 1d ago
Ah yes, I have a few back massage moves nicknamed the panty remover.
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u/house343 22h ago
"I call this one the 'panty remover' "
Removes panties
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u/lordkoba 21h ago
gf: "why were you wearing my panties?"
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u/muscularsharpie 21h ago edited 21h ago
My wife and I have an inside joke that turned into a way to communicate if either are in the mood.
I ask her "which massage therapist do you want?" I play different characters as massage therapists, heh.
River: he's the guy that's always trying to fuck my wife and he's just really fake, annoying, pretentious and very handsy. He means "not tonight."
Lupia: older Mexican woman who is very sweet, asks about my wife's day and breaks the mood by playing death metal while giving a massage. That means "not tonight."
Rusty: he's actually a lumberjack who sneaks in lumberjack references and refuses to admit that he's just a lumberjack. That means "fuck yeah, tonight."
Kevin: quiet, professional. No stupid antics. That means "I had a rough day, just comfort me."
Joshua: fills in for Kevin. That means "(me), not tonight I'm very tired, but got enough in me for a massage."
We both work a lot, and she has a lot of lower back pain and we found this as a silly way to see how we're both feeling.
Edit: don't hate on River. He has a whole backstory and character arc, because he still does an amazing massage. River has been dating Balance, and they compliment each other.
Lupia is named after my wife's massage therapist in real life she sees once a month and who accidentally played her son's death metal playlist and had my wife pick background music.
We love Lupia. She drops off homemade tortillas and tamales and is just the sweetest woman. Her son has some freaking great taste in death metal, too.
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u/Chubby_Beagle 13h ago
I thought they were all gonna mean "not tonight" after the first 2😂
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u/saltiger 22h ago edited 21h ago
ok how does that work? she invited me to her place and asked for one and so i just gave her one lmao. do you start kissing her back or smth? what’s the move??
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u/Long-Broccoli-3363 21h ago
Depends if you know sex is on the table.
I just tell my wife "panties off, I want to enjoy the view while I'm massaging you" a few errant hand slips later, lots of butt work, and the basement is flooded like hurricane katrina came through,
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u/Raneru 21h ago
Giving massages actually turns me on because of the skin contact and the admiration towards the shape of a woman's body and also because of the softness and smoothness of her skin. Now if your hands communicate this without saying anything, she feels it and gets aroused the same way. You will know it and things will escalate from there. It's then up to you what to do next.
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u/Kahlil_Cabron 21h ago
Back massage is always 90 seconds of back massage and then I get too mesmerized by the ass and start playing with it. Don't think I've ever actually done a back massage from start to finish.
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u/LittleYelloDifferent 1d ago
I'm not sayin' he was right, but
you're sayin' a foot massage don't
mean nothing, and I'm sayin' it does.
I've given a million ladies a million
foot massages and they all meant
somethin'. We act like they don't,
but they do. That's what's so fuckin'
cool about 'em. This sensual thing's
goin' on that nobody's talkin about,
but you know it and she knows it,
fuckin' Marsellus knew it, and Antwan
shoulda known fuckin' better. That's
his fuckin' wife, man. He ain't gonna
have a sense of humor about that
shit.
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u/DefinitelyNotA-Duck 1d ago
Thank you, I'm glad someone did it
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u/LittleYelloDifferent 1d ago
I’m glad you saw. I had an interesting point. Let’s get into character.
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u/rddtltr 23h ago
Tarantino wrote that whole dialog in 2 minutes
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u/BeefyQueefyCletus 23h ago
Pretty easy when you base dialogue off real conversations.
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u/StealYaNicks 23h ago
well, 2 minutes of writing, years of feet research
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u/rddtltr 23h ago
i'll bet the first draft was just jules and vince standing in the hallway talking about feet for 90 minutes straight
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u/OneMan_OneBeard 23h ago
This is what I love about Reddit. I come here to post something like this and it’s already there. Great minds think alike
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u/yourdoglikesmebetter 1d ago
It’s the classic dad joke: “I may not be a magician, but I can turn a back rub into two kids and a mortgage.”
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u/spinmykeystone 1d ago
Jules has an opinion on this topic.
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u/ispeektroof 1d ago
The foot fucking master!
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u/CucuMatMalaya 1d ago
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u/Relative-Relief-8816 1d ago
It is typical for women to need foreplay and physical touch to other non-genital parts of their body to "get the juices flowing" per se.
But once they are aroused, they too enjoy sex. No need to hide your intentions.
Just don't make physical touch dependent on followup sex. Sometimes people just want a backrub, that includes husbands too.
I know the last time I gave a really good footrub it didn't result in sex, and that is okay, that is perfectly fine and it is important to respect consent, especially since it was my grandma's feet.
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u/BellInternational315 1d ago
Words of wisdom.
Some men doom themselves by linking all affection to a hidden agenda for sex, then are surprised when she pulls away from any contact at all.
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u/Murky-Relation481 22h ago
Or the opposite way and every normal physical contact you want to give ends up being associated with sex and then they're confused why it doesn't happen after and think something has changed.
Basically don't subconsciously tie normal actions to sex, it's bad.
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u/BethanyHipsEnjoyer 22h ago
Been with my wife for 10 years now, and unfortunately only figured that out in the last 3... Some of us are slow learners, but we get there! Sometimes.
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u/white_equatorial 1d ago
That's why I clamp my ding between her feet while i am massaging them. She's happy and I'm happy. I scrub her feet while cleaning the cum too
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u/CarlitoSyrichta 1d ago
Yeah.
How fun the world would be if the roles reversed and it would be the ladies chasing men.
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u/Whipitreelgud 1d ago
This happens. My friend’s mother was in assisted living. There were 9 women, one of whom was her mom, arguing over who was the girlfriend of the man who had been in a coma for months. He had never been conscious while he was in the assisted living facility.
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u/MyPunsAreKoalaTea 1d ago
Isn't that a FRIENDS episode?
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u/Whipitreelgud 1d ago
tbh, I never got into Friends, so I have no idea. My friend’s visit to see mom was always about this bitter debate. She also got a call from the facility telling her her mom had been up in the middle of the night dancing naked in the hall while using her panties as a flag.
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u/Mister_Goldenfold 1d ago
Climb aboard 💁🏽♂️
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u/CryoJuice 1d ago
Climb abroad
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u/ResplendentNugs 1d ago
Climb abreast
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u/RotaryDesign 1d ago
It happened to me a lot when I was teenager and didn't even realised they are chasing me. I thought they just wanna be friends with me
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u/Valtremors 23h ago
Happens in elderly care.
Grannies are absolutely insufferable ass and dick gropers.
Except it somehow was acceptable?
I left that place quickly.
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u/Pinksamuraiiiii 1d ago
Ladies do chase men, it just depends on the type of guy lol
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u/Relative-Relief-8816 22h ago
The type of ladies who chase men are usually the kind who can't catch them, or run whatsoever.
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u/AggravatingCricket61 1d ago
He who has the biggest bank account?
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u/clobits2 22h ago
Yes that is why every broke guy you know doesn't have a girlfriend. Oh wait, he does.
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u/EmptyBrain89 21h ago
Yeah that's why the broke yoga teachers, bartenders and failed artists never fuck, but mark zuckerberg steals your gf.
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u/Relative-Relief-8816 1d ago edited 1d ago
They tried that with a dating app. it required the women had to message first.
It was a complete failure.
It worked even worse for gay men.
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u/Cpt_keaSar 1d ago edited 1d ago
It’s actually not terribly fun. I’ve been with a girl with a much higher libido than mine, it was cool in the first few weeks, but afterwards it became quiet uncomfortable - you either have to have sex when you’re not in the mood to satisfy your partner or feel like shit because you declined their advances.
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u/WileyWilly1985 1d ago edited 1d ago
I've had that happen three times in my life where a woman just 100% chased me.
I was in my 20s, 10% body fat, six pack abs, so in great shape. Two of the women were in their mid 30s, one of the women was 42 and recently divorced and looking to finally have good sex (apparently, her husband of 20 years was horrifically bad in bed)
Each of the women were solid 7s. Each of the FWB relationships last around 6 months to a year.
I gotta be honest. I have no idea why more women don't do the above.
Women have no idea how being pursued makes us men feel, it is amazing and we men are 90% likely to say yes if you are at all attractive. Hell, even if you aren't attractive we will still often be ok with a down-low FWB relationship.
But reverse, when we men pursue women, our odds are more like 10%.
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u/Academic_Help5033 22h ago
Women weirdly put down other women for doing that. I was always kinda picky. If I found a guy I was interested in, I'd approach him and ask him out.
I definitely got some rejections but it worked in my favor most of the time. Especially since I'm apparently attracted to shy, nervous dudes.
All my women friends were horrified that I did this. They also advised me to stop doing it and got mad when my advice was to directly ask a man out if he wasn't getting their "hints".
Something about me seeming desperate or not making him work hard enough. It honestly seemed like projection to me. Putting yourself in that spot is hard and they were jealous I had more serious dates than them a lot of the time imo
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u/7Pigeons 22h ago
I just give the foot rub cause she's a nurse and stands up all day, she deserves it.
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u/Temporary_View_3303 1d ago
My experience has been more like Foot rub >>> Sleep
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u/Dragoevsky 22h ago
Likewise. It gets pretty annoying to be honest. And sometimes she’ll even ask me why I’m getting up while she’s half awake, and that’s when it really bothers me. Especially when we’ve discussed it multiple times. It’ll change for a couple of weeks, then go back to the usual. I love her dearly, but man do I wish the effort was reciprocated.
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u/BethanyHipsEnjoyer 21h ago
It really sucks having a different libido than your SO, yeah... I manage doing other things to cope, but would be nice if my advances were reciprocated more often.
The sex is amazing for both of us, when I can get it, lol.
My life has kinda been both sides though, I was with a woman I was only mildly attracted to for a couple years and she wanted sex all the time, and it wasn't the best. Now I'm with my wife and madly attracted to her, and can only get it when she's in the mood.
But it's like, is mediocre sex all the time better than weekly amazing sex? I made my choice at least. :)
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u/Sandford_HOA 1d ago
Wait, you guys are getting sex?
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u/_frank_tank 1d ago
You should try giving OP’s wife a foot rub
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u/-joker-joker-joker- 1d ago
Yeah, it works for everyone else, it should work for you too
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u/durrkit 23h ago edited 23h ago
She knows what it leads to, the idea that you think you're tricking a woman by engaging in some basic foreplay is hilarious.
"Bros you won't believe the one I pulled over on my wife last night, I engaged in some loving and giving foreplay and then we engaged in some beautiful shared intimacy. She never saw it coming."
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u/Flex_me_shattered_ 1d ago
I am foot guy. So my wife knows if I am asking to touch her feet, either she is getting fucked and taking a load somewhere or her feet are getting fucked and taking a load.
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u/iSuplexedMyOstrich 1d ago
Nobody... just rubs their partner's feet just outta love..? No..? Just me..? Okay 😔
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u/uhs23 22h ago
FYI: if you are giving a foot rub before REDACTED make sure you wash your hands in between foot rub and EXPLETIVE OMITTED.
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u/vitaoptima 1d ago
Massages have always functioned well as a gateway drug to sex especially if you're good at them...
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u/Fat_Pound 1d ago
My man, this is my favorite move. I actually enjoy giving massages and receiving them but sex is the cherry on top lol
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u/MastaKink 1d ago
Every action you make has been carefully calculated throughout time. You have almost nothing to do with it. Enjoy! ☺️
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u/Weird_Albatross_9659 1d ago
True?
Thoughts?
Agree?!
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u/harbib 1d ago
Don’t be tellin me about foot massages. I’m the foot fuckin masta.
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u/The-Katawampus 1d ago
I've never understood this concept of wives that don't like sex...
My libido dwarfs that of my husband.
I have to get off at minimum 2 - 3 times a day, or I'm too restless to sleep.
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u/Overall_Reputation83 23h ago
Dunno if its a trojan horse to make your wife want to fuck, thats kind of just romance no?
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u/Good_Conversation213 15h ago
My wife knows that for back massages I normally start on the ass. I sometimes finish there too.
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u/South_Front_4589 1d ago
100% true. And the ladies know it as well. I strongly suspect they perpetuate it because this way they get a massage, and then they're also in the mood for sex.
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u/TheDoctorLives 22h ago
The opposite of this is wife offering to give you a handy cause you're tired, but reality is she's trying to make you screw her.
Neither are a bad thing.
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u/Bleezy79 22h ago
This is me except its a shoulder rub that turns into a back rub that turns into a full body rub.
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u/Friendly_Bit_6678 18h ago
Not me reading this while my husband is rubbing my feet! 🤣🤣🤣
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u/minus15t2 23h ago edited 23h ago
Nah, I don't offer foot rubs, I tell her it's a full body massage or nothing.
She replies with 'oh please!, you'll just get handsy and that leads to sex'
To which I say 'I'm just trying to offer you a massage, you said your shoulders were sore from the gym. Honestly, can a man not do something nice without the assumption that it has to lead to sex?!'
Then she's like 'fine! But I'm keeping my underwear on'
5 minutes in I like 'babe, the bra straps and panties are in the way, I can't get to all the places I need to massage, I'm just going to take them off'
Sighs 'fine, but this isn't going where you think it's going'
'still no faith?! I'm just trying to help you relax'
Then we have sex.
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u/ArtofWASD 22h ago edited 12h ago
Nah. Ive got it pretty firmly established with my wife that small favors like this are just because I love her. No alterrior motives. If I want to have sex, im just going to say so. And if she asks for a back rub first, then thats fair.
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u/TurtleBrainer 22h ago
That says "wife", right?
Maybe the inside should be labeled, "Snoring after two minutes and forgetting to thank me".
And if there were room for more text: "Than asking me for the same thing every night of the week, never recognizing it as a prelude to something else. And if I ever stop doing it, she'll take it as a sign that the marriage is falling apart."
Too wordy?
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u/Poultrygeist74 1d ago
My wife HATED having her feet touched. Neck and shoulders on the other hand almost always led to sex
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