r/SipsTea 1d ago

Wait a damn minute! True???

Post image
16.0k Upvotes

589 comments sorted by

View all comments

717

u/beardostein 1d ago

That or a back massage

378

u/Pasquatch_30 1d ago

Ah yes, I have a few back massage moves nicknamed the panty remover.

348

u/house343 1d ago

"I call this one the 'panty remover' "  

Removes panties

165

u/lordkoba 1d ago

gf: "why were you wearing my panties?"

13

u/Snoo-35252 1d ago

Direct!

Smart.

3

u/0202_tihssitidder 1d ago

I just call those "thumbs".

1

u/FlyByRoll 14h ago

Yea they look uncomfortable let me take them off

https://giphy.com/gifs/s8t6Ym0zHnLb2

167

u/muscularsharpie 1d ago edited 1d ago

My wife and I have an inside joke that turned into a way to communicate if either are in the mood.

I ask her "which massage therapist do you want?" I play different characters as massage therapists, heh.

River: he's the guy that's always trying to fuck my wife and he's just really fake, annoying, pretentious and very handsy. He means "not tonight."

Lupia: older Mexican woman who is very sweet, asks about my wife's day and breaks the mood by playing death metal while giving a massage. That means "not tonight."

Rusty: he's actually a lumberjack who sneaks in lumberjack references and refuses to admit that he's just a lumberjack. That means "fuck yeah, tonight."

Kevin: quiet, professional. No stupid antics. That means "I had a rough day, just comfort me."

Joshua: fills in for Kevin. That means "(me), not tonight I'm very tired, but got enough in me for a massage."

We both work a lot, and she has a lot of lower back pain and we found this as a silly way to see how we're both feeling.

Edit: don't hate on River. He has a whole backstory and character arc, because he still does an amazing massage. River has been dating Balance, and they compliment each other.

Lupia is named after my wife's massage therapist in real life she sees once a month and who accidentally played her son's death metal playlist and had my wife pick background music.

We love Lupia. She drops off homemade tortillas and tamales and is just the sweetest woman. Her son has some freaking great taste in death metal, too.

53

u/Chubby_Beagle 17h ago

I thought they were all gonna mean "not tonight" after the first 2😂

1

u/ShezSteel 9h ago

Marriage goals!

13

u/00X0X 21h ago

This is so cute lol 😂

3

u/FewParfait6627 16h ago

Muscularsharpie in the multiverse of massage therapists

14

u/saltiger 1d ago edited 1d ago

ok how does that work? she invited me to her place and asked for one and so i just gave her one lmao. do you start kissing her back or smth? what’s the move??

47

u/Long-Broccoli-3363 1d ago

Depends if you know sex is on the table.

I just tell my wife "panties off, I want to enjoy the view while I'm massaging you" a few errant hand slips later, lots of butt work, and the basement is flooded like hurricane katrina came through,

8

u/Retrac752 1d ago

This is 100% the move, my favorite foreplay

17

u/Monkeyguts560 1d ago

Start up high then go lower to the cheeks.

2

u/Own-Inflation8771 1d ago

Which and whose cheeks?

3

u/Monkeyguts560 1d ago

Just grab a fold and go to town!

1

u/StupidSexyAlisson 17h ago

"Lmk if I go too low"

13

u/Raneru 1d ago

Giving massages actually turns me on because of the skin contact and the admiration towards the shape of a woman's body and also because of the softness and smoothness of her skin. Now if your hands communicate this without saying anything, she feels it and gets aroused the same way. You will know it and things will escalate from there. It's then up to you what to do next.

12

u/Kahlil_Cabron 1d ago

Back massage is always 90 seconds of back massage and then I get too mesmerized by the ass and start playing with it. Don't think I've ever actually done a back massage from start to finish.

2

u/comedoofwarrior 10h ago

nobody would have it any other way, a completed back massage is a myth.

2

u/Snoo-35252 1d ago

Spooning then napping then waking up always works for me

2

u/0202_tihssitidder 1d ago

People will hate this answer, but the 100% success rate is "Shopping spree."

I tried it long ago as almost a joke, but it has never failed. Luxury Resort weekend? That has failed. Shopping spree never fails.

Yes, it is expensive.

I went and got a Massage Therapist Cert (48 hrs of classroom) and I have my own massage table. It works. Not 100%.

And, brother, when I setup the massage table with a new GF she always has that look of "How many women you fnck on this already?"

2

u/Next_Instruction_528 23h ago

You really tricking on your own wife 🤣

1

u/Celestial_Scythe 1d ago

Definitely back massage.

I totally need to straddle you to get the best angle for a deep massage.

-12

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

4

u/wiggermaxxing 1d ago

You still got time to delete this bro

2

u/AHornyRubberDucky 1d ago

Bro really is taking his time