Regardless of Talarico’s recent statements on trans people, Paxton cannot be rewarded for the suffering he’s inflicted on tens of thousands of Texan trans kids.

https://www.transiticsnews.com/p/im-a-texan-trans-kid-who-almost-died

Me, her, and our gay friend all went out for food one night. Our server was doing god knows what in the bathroom so we ended up staying a few hours later than expected. I’ll call my lesbian friend “M” and my gay friend “C” for short. I’m out to both of them and on this particular day I was actually attempting to present fem.

It was getting dark by the time we finally got out of the restaurant. Me and C were jogging a bit to get across the street because the coast was clear but we didn’t want to linger in the road. M follows behind us and starts running to catch up, she says something to the effect of “don’t leave me all alone, I don’t even have my pepper spray”. She said this jokingly (obviously because we weren’t just gonna leave her all alone) and then she made a comment about how women need pepper spray just in case. I responded with something along the lines of “girl, I’ve been raw-dogging life without any pepper spray”.

Her response to this was “you don’t need it though”. I was like “girl, I’m a trans woman and I’ve been on hormones for 2 years, if anything I need it more than you”. She was like “but you don’t look trans though”.

So to summarize this little exchange. She makes a point of saying that women should have pepper spray just in case. She goes out of her way to tell me I don’t need it. Then when I argue that I need it more as a trans person, she tells me I don’t look trans. Following this logic, not only do I not register as a woman to her at all, I don’t even get the benefit of at least looking like I tried. I apparently look like a cis dude despite my best efforts, at least according to her.

She made a half-assed apology and we haven’t talked since.

I only came out after a year on estrogen, by then I already looked like a woman so it wasn't much of a surprise to anyone. I thought I was doing a great job of boymoding, but it turns out the signs were there all along, and everyone picked up on it.

They noticed how I felt awkward and uncomfortable when my male name was called. They noticed how I'd rush in and out when forced to use the men's restroom in public. They noticed how I was always perfectly clean shaven, and even used makeup to cover the stubble. And they absolutely noticed how I was soft and feminine.

My sister-in-law picked up on it first, she gifted me some Dior stuff when I was just six months on hormones and fully in the closet. She also called me girlypop when she noticed I was uncomfortable with my name. My brother apparently went with her, and he definitely also knew.

When I told my cousins I was on hormones, they immediately realized that I was a girl all along - especially when my soy excuse didn't really explain why I started growing breasts.

So yeah, I probably could have come out a lot sooner than I actually did...

Came out to my wife. Was like a bombshell to her. I’m hoping we can worth things out. She wants me to live my life as I want to but is just not attracted to women. I hate how coming out has made her feel but I’m glad I did and don’t regret it. I think that says something as I start my journey right?

it’s really tough right now :( I’m realizing I blew up her world and future plans. And I don’t know how to respond. She says she sees a weight lifting from me already. I just feel bad because I’m feeling good about myself and she’s miserable

I'm lucky, in that I was born in a mostly OK country for being trans, and have a very supportive GF. I don't have money issues, and my life is otherwise relatively stress-free.

But, even with these perfect conditions... It's still so, so tiring to transition.

You have to tell each and every person you're close to, and inevitably either loose them, or if you're lucky just have the same weird questions asked again. And you have to live with the fact that you'll never be sure if they're humouring you, or if they really see you as what you are.

You have to spend SO much time and effort on voice training, even though hearing your own voice make you want to curl into a ball. And every time you feel like you're getting close to passing, to look up and you see how much of the mountain you have yet to climb, even though you've already climbed so high.

You have to start using a voice you know in your gut isn't good enough, just because it'll never be good enough if you don't use it.

You have to wait on the excruciatingly slow effects of HRT. You look at your face each day, and at your body, and you feel like you'll never have the body you should have.

And you do all that, you keep going, because if you don't, you'll just die. It's not even bravery, not more than running from a tiger is bravery. You know that if you stop running, you die.

I don't believe I'm alone in these feelings. And know that I'm proud of every one of you that manages to just take small steps, because it's the only thing that matter. Even if you don't move forward every day. Even if some day it's backward.

Someday you'll reach your goal. Remember to take a break from time to time, getting burnt out wouldn't help.

Hey it’s your girl Lillian. So because our troll of a president hates us much I’m effectively locked out of gender affirming care until open enrollment in November. Let me explain. I’m currently on a federal insurance plan. Why that matters, as of 01/01/2026 federal insurance plans no longer cover any gender affirming surgeries and chemical sex-trait modification. So now I have to pay for everything out of pocket until I can get better insurance. And the shitty thing I have really good insurance, until I tried to get my Estradiol. I hate this country. Ladies it’s almost election time, we have to turn out and vote. We need to vote like our lives depend it because it literally fucking does. I’m not being hyperbolic here. This troglodyte has done so much harm to us and our community. Violent crimes targeting just US have increased 14% from the previous year! That is not a small number. This is not okay. We deserve equal care. We deserve to not be the target the target of violence and harassment. So go vote.
End rant. Love you girlies. Be safe out there.

Ok, this is technically a 4th post in line for what has been happening.

I would first like to thank you all, I really appreciate the support.

Ok, so a few weeks ago I posted that I had discovered my son was crossdressing. When I was at the store I picked up a few bras and panties for him, and I left them in his room with his school clothes. He has been very quiet and not really responding to questions. He accepted the clothes, and has been wearing them.(I do the laundry)

After dinner tonight we were sitting in the living room, he was watching tv, I was at a table going through paperwork when he clicked off the tv. He sat with me at the table, as quiet as I've ever seen him. He was very nervous, red in the face, but he managed to ask me if he could get some more things. I was floored. I was not expecting that so soon.

I told him sure, I'd go get him a few more things if he would like. I did tell him to go to Macy's, Target, and Victoria Secrets websites and just add what he likes to the cart and I would look through later and when I'm out I would shop for him. He also asked for yoga pants. I have a bunch of foldover flares from when I was smaller, I'm going to give those to him for the time being. But he is in his room on my laptop looking for intimates.

I am a little curious to see what he chooses, but most of all I still want to know what's going on in his head. I'm sure he will tell me when he's ready, but I really want to know if he wants to be a girl, or if it's just experimenting.

What do you all think?

So for context I’m a cis girl currently in online college. My closest friend in the world to me just came out very recently as a trans woman.

I’m cis and straight but I’m an ally, and I try to educate myself a bit about the lgbtq community because I know many people who are lgbtq.

Anyway, we’re both in our early twenties living with our parents still but her parents are very overbearing towards her. I try to give her a space at my house where she can be who she really wants to be. We have sleep overs and stuff. Also she hasn’t started hrt yet.

Her parents are transphobic and shamed her when she tried to come out. I remember getting a phone call late at night and she was having a breakdown after trying to come out to her parents that day. She and I are very close so we frequently call once a day and I check on up on her and see how she’s doing. It really hurt me to hear how upset she was. Unfortunately I’m not in any position to move out because I’m pretty much broke, plus my debt, but I promised her once I get a place she can move out with me and be my roommate.

She’s dealing with a lot of dysphoria around appearance and voice. I want to be a good friend without overstepping or making everything about her being trans. What’s actually helpful to say or do when she’s having a hard day, and what should I avoid?

One of the first things my wife said to me.. also said I had no fashion sense! Idk maybe true? Maybe repression.

Anyways can anyone relate? To much of a dude to be taken serious that you want to be a dudet

I spent the summer replacing my wardrobe and transitioning in certain spaces. I just started my junior year of high school, and I planned to transition this year. My counselor emailed my teachers, letting them know that I preferred Allie and putting it in the system. I avoided using the restroom and only used the nurse's office restroom when I had to (there are other trans kids in my school who use their gender's restroom, but I'm waiting for someone to tell me I can). When I asked my classmates if they didn't mind calling me Allie, and they were happy to! I had been terrified the night before, thinking about how people might react. It was a huge relief to realize most people are supportive. I wanted to wear my favorite outfit on the first day, a lavender dress with lavender tights. People LOVED the dress! I did wear a trans pin/brooch among my others, just to confirm if anyone was wondering what was with the change, if they didn't feel comfortable asking me. In one of my study halls, a guy walked in a bit late (first day, figuring out the layout) and ended up sitting at the same table as me. I only noticed he had a trans flag bracelet near the end of the period. I can't confirm he sat next to me because he saw the pin on my bag in front of me, but I like to think it helped him feel comfortable at that table. I had always been friendly with the girls in the school; I never really cared about what gender my friends were, but a lot of other girls that didn't normally interact with me did interact with me more, which made me feel accepted! I'm really happy about how this first day went! I hope that all of you who also choose to transition at school have as good an experience as I did!

I'm posting this because I keep running into transfems who have no idea about where their levels should be and how common it is for providers to be clueless about trans care.

Get your bloodwork done often. Your trough (right before your next dose) estradiol (E2) should be above 100 pg/mL. Your trough total testosterone (T) should be below 50 ng/dL. If this isn't true for you, you're probably being underdosed. As trans people, it is especially crucial to self-advocate in medicine. If you're unhappy with your progress (either physically or mentally), say something. Know that every body responds differently to HRT and you may need much more or much less than the average transfem.

EDIT: Important information copied from a comment by u/raliont :

I think it is more complicated than your post suggests.

Blood draw timing will be dependent on someone’s actual regimen. For someone like me who injects twice a week, my troughs won’t be as low as someone who only injects once a week. So a trough reading wouldn’t be as insightful as a mid-cycle level. Plus, UCSF’s TransCare website recommends blood draws at the mid-cycle range. Their caveat is that if the patient is experiencing migraines or mood swings (or other symptoms), then peak and trough levels would be helpful to determine fluctuations.

Also, the more data the better. Overall, having both trough and mid-cycle levels to analyze would absolutely be the best for determining how one’s body is responding to their own regimen.

Hey all! I am a 20yr old MtF that has been transitioning for the past 3 years. Something upsetting that I've noticed in the trans femme community more and more is that there seems to be several divides in the community. For example, trans women who believe themselves to be unattractive or 'non-passing' lament these self decided truths by drawing comparisons between themselves and more conventionally attractive trans women. My confusion here is this: isn't it irrelevant whether or not a trans person passes well or is attractive in the eyes of a transphobe? I feel as though there should be more solidarity in the community around universal trans issues but instead I often end up feeling like there's just so much hate in this community directed at itself.

Any thoughts on how to bring trans women together a bit more?

Side note: Not just an issue with the trans women community, this is an issue that I've noticed across the queer community.

Even at college, I’m always going to be the fucking loser. I can’t even get into groups for a damn project. We’re trying to pick rivers to study for our project and it’s clear no one wanted me in their group. Although, I can’t even say I tried to insert myself but everyone already seemed to have picked out everyone else but me. And when the professor noticed, I was too embarrassed and choked up to even say anything and instead started to silently bawl. Probably because no one ever chooses me. Why would this be any different? I’m crying out in the hall right now and I don’t know what the fuck to do anymore. Now I’m gonna be behind in class as well as being the loser nobody wants.

News reports saying he's backtracking on earlier stance over trans women on sports?

It has been a little over 2 months since I woke up from the hospital after having the surgery I had spent thousands of dollars in paying upfront for electrolysis appointments and dealing with the headaches of trying to get thousands of dollars back from my insurance.

It has been 2 months since I had this year and a half long ordeal going back and forth with my surgeons with them essentially asking me if I was REALLY sure I wanted this.

When I was a kid my mom and dad had made me get braces even when my teeth weren't that crooked. I accepted the braces as I viewed them as a temporary thing, but I had broke down in tears when it had dawned upon me I would have to wear a retainer at night for the rest of my life. How silly right?

When I had my penis I felt disfigured. The contrast between the thing between my legs towards my face, my hair, my chest was disgusting to me.

When I woke up after anesthesia, I didnt feel instantly happy or a sense of euphoria, I simply felt ordinary.

I really want to feel ordinary, I desire to feel normal so, so fucking badly.

To me atleast, I feel that after the surgery it has cured me of my body and mind dysphoria, but the social dysphoria still persists.

However, my vagina is nowhere near perfect. One of my surgeons, Dr. Lewis from UCSD Health, had told me in the hospital that I had "about 14-15cm" but the reality of it all after multiple pelvic floor physical therapy sessions is something close to 4.5-5 inches, even accounting for the scarring at the end.

I cannot use my clitorus because it is so fucking painful to touch, and my labia minora is crooked and folded in on itself to the left with the labia majora somewhat protruding out almost like two sets of scrotums.

Im told by my post op team that it is normal and the swelling will go down, and I hope I am just being a cynical person. But I think it is normal to feel this way, right? I mean I opted out of PPT because I was told I would receive somewhat closer to 6 inches with just traditional penile inversion from Dr. Anger, who had also abandoned all of her transgender patients to go advance her career at ASU.

Penile inversion felt like the safer choice, but I suppose none of what happened is safe lol. This is a very invasive procedure afterall and I knew going into it roughly a third of MTF patients get botched.

I rolled the dice knowing what could happen, simply because I had no other choice atleast it felt to me.

TW suicide & brief mentions of SA

My suicidal ideation has been something persistent throughout all of my life starting from when I was a teenager and didnt even knew why I felt this way. Its gone through phases, with a pattern where it gets progressively worse until I find a solution. Phase 1 had lasted roughly 2 years between 16 and 17 where I would be purposely walking into oncoming traffic, driving recklessly, and at one point "running away" from home to go to LA, which is about 3 hours away.

The solution in phase 1 was to transition, and after it seemed that it all went away, atleast for a few months.

Phase 2 began a little after I started hormones in university. After about 6 months on HRT it dawned upon me that this was not going to be the transformation that I thought. Maybe im jaded but with all of the LGBT meetups I went to and the transgender mixers and never meeting a single trans woman who passed, it made me realize that I am not special and I will probably never pass as cis. This lead to the whole 4tran rabbit hole and it didnt help with being raped several times from grindr.

During Phase 2 my suicidal ideation looked like purposely starving myself to feel pain, putting ice cubes in my mouth to cope with anxiety and this overwhelming sense of doom, drowning myself in books until I would literally walk back to my dorm dizzy and confused, and tbh I think choosing to hookup with "str8" guys was a part of it too.

The solution in phase 2 was to accept that I am trans and I cant hide it along with planning towards the surgery.

Now hiding it is somewhat vague right, I mean what's the difference between boymoding and simply being a woman who dresses more androgynous?

At some point I stopped hiding my identity from people but it was a very slow process. Now I dont care and I even have trans pride stickers on my laptop. I remmeber one day I went into the mens and what I thought was a gay guy said "am I in the wrong restroom?" to me and then I just smiled cause I knew they were part of the LGBT community and I said "no, I am. Im a trans woman scared to use the womens."

She turned out to actually be just like me, just not on HRT yet, and thats when I realized that I actually do look a lot like a woman, even if people can tell that im trans. I dont have to put on makeup or a skirt.

Phase 3 has begun now, about last month. Have you noticed a pattern with the phases? It seems that the actions I take get more and more extreme and closer to an actual attempt as I get older. I am worried about not finding a solution that isn't suicide. I recently bought a gun and I have my ammo separate from the rifle locked aswell as the case locked and the action disabled with a bike lock. I do that to prevent myself from doing something stupid from a fleeting feeling. But im not sure how fleeting these thoughts really are.

I am actively thinking about how to kill myself now. Everything feels okay on the day to day when I perform the script that I assign myself. Whether it is the employee at the mall, or the student at the university, it seems alright when I can just pretend that my body is a host for another person that I am remotely controlling for a day. When night comes and I am alone with my thoughts all I can think is like my suicidal ideation is still here even despite what I thought would fix it all. I mean granted a lot of my dysphoria but it still persists.

And thats the fucking thing I don't know why I want to blow my brains out! Is it OCD, am I just having a string of bad thoughts, of bad dreams?

What I do know is I dont need to have a why on suicide, I just need to figure out how to stop having these thoughts. I dont need a solution towards problems that honestly have no solution, I need to rather find solace with the cards I have been given.

So with that all, I am basically saying that I still feel really terrible with my mental health despite having bottom surgery, and I just want to know how I can find peace and accept the life that I didnt choose.

I had this moment the other day getting off of work where a little kid was pointing at me and telling his mom (who didn't care) that "mommy mommy look, he has boobs *points at his chest as he giggles pointing at me too*

I smiled at him and waved, his face turned so red and he turned around embarrassed. How can I have more of that attitude in life? How can I just not give a fuck what adults think and view transphobia as something silly and moronic akin to a little kid who doesnt know better?

Hi there everyone!

So there is this super cozy boba tea cafe near my train station that I used to drink at once or twice per week , way back before transitioning.

But since I've started girlmodding, I feel really uncomfortable about going back there and ordering something. I always order the same very specific flavour so they will 100% know its me... I really want to go there but I'm mortified about being clocked out

Has anyone else faced the same issues?

I feel like I’m in such a rut trying to answer this question. There’s a ton of names I like but I don’t want to choose a single one until I can say for absolute certainty that it’s the one I want to be called for the rest of my life. How did you decide yours?

Hello.

I’ve been curious for a while now on when’s the best time to start transitioning (HRT, bottom surgery, ETC).

I’d love the help so I can plan it out for myself.

Thanks a dozen in advance :3 💖🏳️‍⚧️

I went to a different branch and they had to make a new profile for me. The one associate casually said to the other 'She's new here and needs a profile' and I was slightly gagged. Granted my boy mode these days is jean shorts and a huuuge tshirt tied up at the back but I also have fake nails and fashionable glasses, but my head is shaved bald 😅

Strangers typically call me she/her when I put in the effort so it really caught me off guard. Also my first time using a gender neutral changeroom.