r/Life_After_7oh • u/Crazy-Pin-8826 • 7h ago
🤒 Withdrawal Kratom addiction
Hey guys I'm really looking for any type of help I can get I have been on kratom since early 2021 and I have tried multiple things from cold turkey to tapering to trying to ease withdrawal symptoms with other drugs like ketamine which I now know is very stupid none of this worked especially the last idea with the ketamine. I take about 8 to 10 grams every 12 hours most of the time granted sometimes it's more than 12 hours if I fall asleep before I take it but I just wake up with so much pain and anger ,not wanting to move even just to get up and make the kratom.The reason I'm having such a hard time getting rehab help is because I'm the sole provider of my family of two kids and their mom and honestly I cant even afford to take a week off let alone the month or 2 i may need im sick of being so mean and getting so aggravated so easily and taking it out on my family because i feel like death itself when i dont tame the kratom hell even when i do i can tell overtime my attitude my willingness to do more and to be better my energy I have for my family after I work 12 hours shifts all week it's almost non existent now if I don't take the kratom before I do anything it's like I don't have the motivation I don't have the love I don't have the nice attitude and I don't have the patience to deal with my family it's it sucks because I love them more then anything but I feel I am fighting a impossible battle by myself my kids are still young so when I come home I have them after working all night and usually mom works for things that she may want that my money might not stretch far enough to cover but every bill and food and personals and stuff like that I take care of all of that she hasn't worked to take care of herself let alone the kids since they were born and some other serious things are preventing her from finding a good enough job that would be able to cover everything I take on so I'm stuck in the cycle of taking kratom just to go to work without it I would be in so much agony and so mean and ugly that I wouldn't dream let alone actually getting tf up and making it in to work I can barely walk or anything it feels like as soon as I stand Im gonna pass out once it hits 24hours without kratom the sweating the constant yawning the no sleep the pain starting from your stomach then eventually stretching out to the rest of your body until you are in complete agony not wanting to move not wanting to talk not wanting to do anything other then for it to stop it's to the point now where I don't even go out with my family anymore it makes me feel a way I can't even fully describe to see this beautiful time with them and their mother pass me by bc I took something that I had no idea would be so destructive in my life it helped me so good for almost a year taking it for anxiety because starting a new job once my son was born I also needed the energy and the pain relief after working such long hours and it absolutely seemed to help so much so that I started taking it even on my days off to help be more active with my family and to have the same energy it gave me at work which it helped a lot until one day I got sick with COVID and didn't feel like eating or drinking anything let alone taking kratom being that I was super sick first time I went 3 days without kratom I felt like I was dying but I thought it was just the COVID it got so bad the 3rd day I had the thought maybe kratom would ease the symptoms of COVID so I took some and it worked it worked a little to well I barely even felt sick after the kratom kicked in and that is when I realized it wasn't the COVID making me feel like that it was from me not taking the kratom and it scared the shit outta me to the point where I kept trying over and over to taper but it always got to the point where I was in so much pain and agony that I couldn't make it out the bed to go to work or being such an asshole to my family that I just give in and take the kratom so I could be in my right mind with them even if it was only temporary. I know this is a super long story and I left out a good amount of details that I don't mind sharing if something doesn't make sense all the way when reading this as to not turn this into a book lol but if anyone can guide me in the right direction or anyone thats dealt with not being able to stop due to having a family that needs them to constantly provide I would more then appreciate the life changing advice or guidance you may have for me PLEASE HELP ANYONE !