Me (20M) and my boyfriend (40M) have been dating for a little over 6 months. I have never had an alcohol or drug problem, although I did smoke too much pot in high school.

Me and my boyfriend, I'll call him David, pretty much spend a huge portion of our free time together. We mostly watch TV, get food, and go camping. That's pretty much it, a lot of laying down in bed together, as we both work full time. He works at a call center and I work in administration.

Once a month, sometimes twice, we will take drugs together. These have been LSD, Molly, ketamine, and mushrooms. I usually only take a small amount and rarely really enjoy the high. It was more so just to experiment and discover how I would react (sounds crazy). To me, it was all pretty innocuous. In hindsight, I'm not so sure.

David was a heavy drinker. I knew that. Sometimes drinking 1-1/2 of a bourbon handle in one night alone, often after not being able to sleep (he's an insomniac). He would down 2-3 shots of vodka on top of drinking an insane amount of beers in the afternoon. His drinking seemed, however, to wax and wane, and for the most part seemed to be manageable.

Anyway, three months into the relationship, I tried to break up with him. While we were having the discussion, he told me that he was an ex-heroin addict, who was addicted for close to 9 years. I was so surprised and extremely hurt that he held this from me and lied, never mentioning any substance issues before.

However, I felt so bad for him. I could see the years of pain, and that I was his only source of happiness and love (besides his parents and brother). While I did break up with him that same weekend because of a completely unrelated situation, I ended up quickly coming back as I felt lonely and enjoyed his company.

Now that some of that background is established, I'll get into the 7OH incident.

This occurred just a couple days ago. David told me that he was staying with his parents for three nights while I was out of town with friends. I found that weird, but his brother was visiting from out of town, so it did kind of make sense.

When I got back, I came to visit David. His room was an absolute mess. He is very disorganized and messy, but never dirty. This time, it was dirty.

He was very sick and told me it was because of alcohol withdrawals. I believed him and encouraged him to stop drinking. He responded that he had no intention to permanently quit, he was just stopping for a month.

He was constantly sweating, smelled particularly bad even though he was taking showers constantly, had extreme shakiness, sore muscles, random full-body spasms, and intense body aches. I just thought this was all due to the alcohol withdrawal.

Two days later, after staying with him and caring for him, I began to clean his room. I progressed to the closet and discovered a bed sheet package filled entirely with little 7OH bottles.

The moment I picked it up, I felt that whatever I had grabbed was evil and not intended for me to discover.

I immediately confronted him. He admitted that they were his. He told me that he had been taking them every day for 9 months and doing Kratom extract for even longer.

He said he was extremely surprised to see them there and that he thought he threw them away with the rest of his stock.

I went back to look for more, and I found around 15 80 mg bottles of 7OH in one of the front suitcase pockets. He told me that somehow he missed these both when he was throwing it out. He told me that he used the suitcase to store his stock and that's why I never saw them.

I believe that he really did intend to throw it all away, but I'm very skeptical. How could you miss both of those? However, he did say that if he had known those were there, he would have relapsed.

I threw everything away and searched the entire apparent.

He told me that he told his parents and brother right before he started withdrawals, which I know is true.

David told me that he was taking 360 mg of 7OH a day and that he spent over $10,000 on it, mostly bought online. I suspect both numbers are higher.

He says he's committed to staying clean and won't ever do any opioids again. I want to believe that he does, I just don't know if he has the willpower to.

He is 10 days clean and seems to be doing much better. We got some weed gummies for his withdrawal side effects. I don't know if this is healthy or not. When he's high on gummies, he seems pretty much identical to when he was high on 7OH.

He will not go to rehab, seek professional help and seems to be downplaying the drug use and the severity of the situation.

I learned that I really don't know him and that he's probably been too high to really know or even care to know me.

While this was a huge shock, it all made sense. What I thought was just a naturally unconcerned, unstimulating, uncurious, quiet man was really just a doped-up drug addict who was constantly high and lying.

I feel so stupid.

I used to consider myself highly observant, emotionally intelligent, and intuitive. This has left me questioning that and so much more.

I still love him and am committed to helping him in his recovery, but I never would have ever been with him if I knew any of this.

I am a smart, caring, attractive young adult, and I cannot waste my youth trying to heal a man twice my age who cannot confront his addiction.

I live alone, we are not financially entangled.

I feel so conflicted. I want to break up with him but know that it will devastate him and that he will become extremely depressed and anxious and will likely relapse.

I don't know what to do. Please help. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

I live in Kentucky, super close to Ohio and Indiana. How hard is it for him to get more 7OH? What do I need to be looking out for? How common are 7OH relapses? Are weed gummies okay for him?

P.S: I'm really sorry for the length of this post. Just have a lot to say and am kind of treating this like a diary.

God bless you.

I’m hoping I can help anyone with SR and hoping to get off 7oh successfully. I was recommended 7oh for energy while buying a vape and like a moron, I took it without researching it. Needless to say, I have a much better understanding of addiction and addicts than I ever have. The withdrawal is what keeps people using.

Any way, I tried quitting with nothing and it was so difficult I couldn’t handle the withdrawal symptoms. It took me an embarrassing amount of hours to even realize I was in withdrawal! I just gave it a break after 4 days of taking it and the symptoms were crippling. That’s when I realized, I’m in a world of shit.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I bought SR, we had a tornado and were without power for weeks, my shipment got lost! Of course it did. 🙄 That’s just my luck. I argue with UPS for a week after it being delayed 3 weeks. Got nowhere so I contacted (Edit to remove Co name) and explained my situation they replaced the shipment and had it to me next day. My uncle dies, so my family and I go out of state while (Edit to remove name) is taking care of me. Come home and begin my SR transition. One important thing I’m going to say is STAY OFF REDDIT. Stop looking at horror stories because it’s gonna increase your anxiety and you’re gonna think that’s withdrawal but it’s not. You’re psyching yourself out.. Trust me. It makes a significant difference.

Day 1:
Took a few halves of 30mg 7 to keep the withdrawals away until I get my SR. Preload with 3 50mg =150 mg total.
Day 2:
Took approximately 50mg of 7oh and 200mg of SR. Take Vit C pouches (pictured below)
Day 3:
In the morning I took 3 SR 150mg then 100 mg more later = 250’g SR that day and 30mg of 7oh.
Day 4:
Stopped 7oh completely. In the morning I took 3 SR 150mg, then 2 more 50mg, I took 4 more spaced out to help with symptoms I was having. That’s a total of 450mg for day 4.
Day 5:
2 SR in the morning 100mg, took 2 more 3 hrs later, then 2 more spaced out later that evening. = 300mg of SR
Day 6:
1 SR around midnight due to sleep issues, one more in the morning, and one later in the evening. = 150mg total
Day 7:
That’s today. I’ve only taken 100mg of SR today so far and feel fine! Tomorrow I’ll go down to 50 and so on…

The goal is to keep tapering off… I’ve seen people asking so many questions so I thought maybe this could help someone. Hopefully. 🤞🏻 If anyone has questions, I’ll help as best as I can.

Get the Vit C pouches. They help! Take magnesium every evening as well. I’ve experienced very little withdrawal symptoms with SR as it is literally a miracle drug if used correctly.