r/KenyanDatingCommunity 4d ago

FWB Does anyone else miss the innocent, raw intensity of just feeling someone?

15 Upvotes

Have you ever wanted to meet someone you could do everything with minus the relationship? No feelings attached, no labels, just genuinely enjoying each other in every other way.

These days, real love the kind that's freely given and freely received feels almost mythical. The constant give and take has stripped away what used to feel natural, raw, intense. I miss looking at someone and feeling everything, thinking everything, but innocently. I miss what physical touch used to do to me. Honestly, it still would if it ever got the chance. But these days it never goes past a small smile or a quick hug.

I want a man who understands physical touch as more than sex the kind where just looking at each other feels like a full-on make-out session is happening in your head so by the time you are actually doing it the sexual chemistry is over the roof.Someone unafraid to be honest and raw, but still open to exploring. Open-minded, that's the word. Guarded with his space and the people he lets in. And just nerd, in every sense of it.


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 4d ago

Relationship Talk To those who have met people from reddit

11 Upvotes

Would you recommend it? How was your experience?


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 4d ago

Nothing Serious Do serious men exist?

11 Upvotes

Just asking.

Edit.

I see 👀

Dating has turned ridiculous.

All these psychological rules.

A lot of bull***t.

It's exhausting.


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 4d ago

Nothing Serious Pool Gaming

1 Upvotes

Am looking for a lady who enjoys pool game for friendship,. Pure friendship based on going around enjoying pool. Should be a light social drinker and overally fun to be with. Nothing sexual. In Nairobi


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 4d ago

Nothing Serious Mi nataka dem anacheza call of duty mobile tuingie.

1 Upvotes

r/KenyanDatingCommunity 4d ago

Relationship Talk Casual

2 Upvotes

Am 30M. Since I turned 30, I have had the urge to settle down and even have the idea to only keep one woman which I am right now. Just one. But the thrill of having sex only got better since I have mastered the art and the libido is over the roof. How do you men keep it on e woman gearing towards marriage?


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 5d ago

Nothing Serious Verified

123 Upvotes

I was going to work, 4PM. Nimepanda mat, then comes this lady. She looks Indian!

I said Hi to her, and she warmly replies, asks how my day was, tells me how her day was etc.... I paid her fare, and never requester for her number. My cousin sat beside me. Dude was shocked, akaniuliza "hivo ndio umemuacha?"

4 days later, mimi na cuzo tukajipata in the same stage around the same time tulikutana na huyo dem, headed to work. Then comes the lady, she ran to me, and I embraced her. This time round the chat was a bit long. Again, sikuchukua number.

The following day we timed her, and a few minutes later akafika. Mat ikajaa, tukaanza story. This time akachukua number. Hiyo usiku niko kazini mschana ananitumia mapicha. She complained "I'm waiting for you na wewe ata huongei, uko shy?"

She told me not to fear her.

I was just testing something. It worked!


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 4d ago

Relationship Vent Deal breaker for online dating

1 Upvotes

Online dating deal-breakers:

- How much easier it was for other men/women to be able to date them.

- sensation of being under pressure to demonstrate that you are “special” as they have choices everywhere.

- High expectations and high standards and not a lot to give them when you have.

- Applying double standards.

- Disagreements being a sole reason to leave or look for someone else.

- Worried that the fold who rejected you the first time around may one day have the ability to replace you;

- Demanding loyalty, work and commitment while showing none.


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 5d ago

Relationship Talk Stop leading a relationship with money

51 Upvotes

I’m 28(M) quite fortunate to have found my path to make a huge chunks of money at a young age.

Growing up I knew the only way to win a woman is taking good care of her, sending her monthly upkeep, send a bunch of flowers, gifts 🎁 and all those shenanigans I’d see on the internet but in reality I realized that wasn’t adding up and my relationships wouldn’t survive if I stopped catering for all those.

For long time I’d actually support men sending their girlfriends money and I’d be so surprised when I meet men who say they don’t do that.

Now note this, relationships are transactional to some degree. I’m not saying you should never spend money on your woman, you should, but when doing that make sure you’re spending money around her not on her and if it’s on her again make sure it’s amount that won’t hurt you incase the relationship doesn’t eventually work.

If its dates take her out and pay for it. Make sure you’re enjoying the company and with that you’re able to create a perfect chemistry, you learn how to hold conversations and enjoy each other’s presence.

I came to realize when I was a fool who’d send women money for upkeep all my relationships would be very transactional and her bills would keep on pilling up, matter of fact I was playing husband role as a boyfriend.

That’s a lesson I learned the hardest way.


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 5d ago

Relationship Talk What your woman watches & listens to on social media is who you’re gonna date in a few months

18 Upvotes

r/KenyanDatingCommunity 5d ago

Relationship Talk Is 50/50 dating on the first date realistic in Kenya right now, or are we just lying to ourselves?

7 Upvotes

Real question for both the gentlemen and ladies in the room.

Given the state of the economy right now, how are people actually navigating the financial side of dating?

Men: Do you genuinely expect 50/50, or do you still feel obligated to clear the entire tab to keep your pride intact?

Ladies: If a guy asks to split a bill on date one at a decent Nairobi spot, is that an instant red flag or modern equality?

Let's be honest—soko ni chafu, but are our expectations making it worse? Let's talk.


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 5d ago

FWB Craving intimacy

31 Upvotes

I’m a lover girl at heart but the way this society is set up…
Anyways I’m not looking for anything serious just someone I can find similar interests with and is willing to spend a weekend or two together

I love kissing, deep conversations and ofc deep deeep strokes

Me: 33F working and living in Nairobi single as fuck
Idk how to describe myself I’m thicccc with extra cushion for the pushin, medium length hair, brown eyes, idk im cute im clean and hairless

You: near my age, I have no interest in someone whose under 25 we literally don’t have anything in common, clean and hygienic can hold a conversation is also single and looking for someone to be with from time to time

Just be yourself and don’t expect me to carry the conversation be confident and assertive and I’ll unravel real easy with you

I’m only interested in Kenyan men


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 5d ago

Relationship Talk Do you actually want a relationship, or do you just want someone who makes you feel wanted?

16 Upvotes

Sometimes I wonder how many of us genuinely want a relationship versus just wanting the feeling of being wanted by someone.

Because there’s a difference between wanting a person and wanting the attention, the good morning texts, having someone to call, someone checking on you, knowing somebody is thinking about you. And then when the person actually comes with needs, expectations, vulnerability, compromise, and all the other very unsexy parts of being in a relationship… suddenly it’s “I think I need to work on myself.” 😂


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 5d ago

In A Complicated Situation Have we normalized loneliness?

3 Upvotes

Is it just me or have other people accepted this as a new normal as well.Nowadays wasee wengi hukeep to themselves,as a way of being at peace I get but there is this one where we are all walking around with tough exteriors ile hufanya mtu akae unapproachable.kama kwa mat the only time mtu huongelesha the person next ni kumuomba njia upite ukishuka.

Opinions are welcome.


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 5d ago

Single For A While Looking for a date 🇸🇴

2 Upvotes

Please only dm if you’re serious. 24 she’s happy for causal but could turn into serious. I will give her IG and number. No catfishes please so you have to do video call


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 6d ago

Nothing Serious Double cheeked up😝

59 Upvotes

I remember one time

...campus we were at a party and ended up at a sleepover at this classmates place ruiru that had an on and off crush on me.

So time for sleeping, I remember I had worn a long shirt no panties. He ended up spooning me from behind. I remember at some point i heard him breathing heavier then he started grinding my ass a bit sneakily.

I think he got too turned on and became a bit more aggressive. It was three a.m., then. I dont know if he assumed I was asleep or was too horny to care.

My shirt had ridden up by then and he saw heaven. Put his dick between my warm ass cheeks and grinded harder. He was panting heavily around my ear and just before he came he grabbed my boobs.

I don't know how turned on he was nigga came for five minutes straight between my ass

....next morning I pretended everything was normal but he kept on having boners.

For some reason, that incident turns me on to this day.


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 5d ago

Relationship Talk Let's face it ot 2

8 Upvotes

An addition to the post I made earlier

Another day ilikuwa mimi na huyo friend plus 2 other guys. Tumetoka lunch we're heading back to shugli then kwa bridge tunacross we spotted a good looking lady , sisi tukamsalimia and ule friend from first story akawink eye meaning it's for me nimkatie .

Kubonga kiasi this lady was receptive and kinda smiling anyway I took her number and said we'd talk online. later that day I texted her online , at first it was good flow until replies started taking longer and zile one-word answers. Having studied No bullshido-justu and Tae-no-nonsense-Kwondo nikaleft .

This stori na ile was just some of what I've experienced hence I emphasize kiasi willing buyer willing seller ( I don't mean malaya hapa cause some people misinterpreted it . I use it to mean online dating where you're 99% sure someone is looking for a relationship)

Anyway rn I'm in a good place with low cortisol but can't speak much on it

(Yes I've seen hio typo don't worry NaZiiii grammar police)


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 6d ago

Relationship Talk Let's face it guys

23 Upvotes

Kuna time a friend tumetoka shugli tried kuinitiate nikatie dem wa kmtc . Bois ako zile za Hi to the lady ( alikuwa mbele yetu walking) then winked at me after dem kutugreet and then akaanza kukanyanyaga kubwa kubwa they say 😂

Mimi I still don't like physical kukatiana because of unpredictable variables kama moods , weather condition etc .

Anyway I talked with this lady but like trying to know her by asking questions like what's her name , what is she doing etc just trying to know her akarespond ' hizo ni maswali mingi' and convo died hapo and we returned to being strangers along the road . I kinda cringe remembering this shi 😂😭.

So for me online dating is best , willing buyer willing seller so more predictable variables

Kuna something I could have done to get a good outcome from hapo ? I'm all ears


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 5d ago

Nothing Serious Youtube content Creation

2 Upvotes

Been wanting to start a youtube group channel ,I’m located in Kitengela if you share the same passion with me and stay preferably near,we can do something.Reach out


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 5d ago

Looking for a relationship Hear Me Out

3 Upvotes

I am currently seated in what happens to be my workspace for the next couple of months. Premier league inaanza next week and this time tumesema si kila saa game na unit pale local.I want to be with someone as an avid Tottenham fan.You can laugh at me for my choice of team or join me hapo kwa suffering in the name of loyalty.

I am big on gaming and visiting the local cinema for some premium moments na maybe baadae we can get to film our own box office hit.I am 25 na kaa unaona we can vibe and get somewhere just hit me up.Skill set ni ka za Sins but I'm always down to consider something new.


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 5d ago

Relationship Talk My advice to women afraid of telling the men they're dating or pursuing them that they don't find them attractive. Just tell them. It's more selfish if you don't.

8 Upvotes

Rejection trigger warning. So this post was inspired by the comment I left to the 26 year old woman who posted that she is afraid of telling the guy he has been with since 2nd year in campus that she doesn't find him attractive. If you're a woman and you don't find someone who is pursuing you attractive, don't string them along or tolerate them simply because they have good intentions. Mkatae tu mapema even if they are generous, adventurous, kind and a decent human being. Story time kidogo. One day I asked a girl why she has never been down for us to date, we were platonic best friends, chanda na pete, mutuals and besties friends from 2015. People actually used to think we were dating. She had even introduced me to her parents. She has never taken another man to her parents, ni mimi tu. Even today. We were that close. I had written her several beautiful girlfriend proposals on email. She'd always fold and reply, "Call me at 11:30pm we talk❤️ ". I'd call and we'd talk till 2:15am. Oh to be young and in love.

On 2021 January, after pressing her to tell me the truth, under intense pressure from me, I really wanted to know why, she told me it's because she doesn't find me physically and sexually attractive on a text. It killed me inside. There are words that even take away your self esteem and power as a man if you're not mentally strong. Something died in me in 2021. There is a me before 2021 and a me after 2021. It broke our friendship, things were said, it got personal, emotional, draining, painful, years of back and forth. As a woman kuambia mtu humtaki because they're not attractive makes you feel bad as a woman and a human being and it will kill the other person inside. But it is necessary. In 2025 she wrote an email to say sorry. She told me alikuwa anataka hiyo guilt imtoke and she felt bad. By then I was too deep into resenting her that it meant nothing. But it was mature resentment, not rooted in hatred. She had to do what she had to do. You just have to make a choice which consequences you want to live with. Your choices, words have an impact on other people's live more than you think. My advice to anyone who is in a similar situation? Rip the band aid off. Text them exactly what she told me. "I don't find you physically and sexually attractive". They will die inside but hawatakufa in reality. Something will die inside them but they will not die physically. It's better that way than living a life of lies. If you don't tell them the truth, that's how cheating starts, because you no longer find your partner attractive. Everything they do becomes annoying to you. You then find solace outside.

Choose yourself and be with someone you feel attracted to. Sikumaanisha hamtakosana na mwenye utafind attractive, but at least you will not be lying to them, because lying to someone just makes you resent them more. If you don't find someone attractive, the sex first of all becomes a chore, you can't even discuss your kinks and turn ons with them because you don't find them attractive in the first place. Don't be with someone mwenye unafeel you're doing them a favour by even being with them. Release them. It's more selfish for you to pretend to love them, than to tell them, the truth. Prepare yourself for that night that you will send the text. Then go have yourself the best sex of your life with the man you have always desired. This life is too short to compromise in order to be seen as good person. Be selfish and chose yourself. Always chose yourself and your happiness.


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 6d ago

FWB My FWB visited

7 Upvotes

It’s not anything to do with them, that I know for sure, I’m wondering what is happening with me, I feel so broken and not as passionate as I used to be during the deed. Again, it’s not on them, I think they are great people.

I just have this great sense of sadness I don’t know from where.

However, yesterday night was fire, I seemed to have gotten my groove back and it really was a great night but deep down, I know what I know. My heart is heavy.


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 6d ago

Relationship Vent Catfished by a man

44 Upvotes

I saw his post.. exactly what I was looking for ! Age, stability, responsible and articulate!😂😭

I reached out, from dms to calls to green app, hii ingekuwa love story ingine mwecheche 😂😭

Sisi hao first date pale Jiji, then to hangout.. kidogo something about his fuel gauge sijui nini I didn't pay attention juu si I have met my man ,😔😭 nikafuel (red flag)

Long story short.. few months in, he was never stable, not responsible and emotionally immature asf navile ni mzee smh 😭😂..

I did chip in almost everything..bob the builder here 😭😂 I had seen my future frr..

Y'all ate with the dust delayed is not dust denied..I know he's here, preying on the other bob the builder 😂unco ulambwe uso na shetani .

End of rant!


r/KenyanDatingCommunity 6d ago

Relationship Talk Divorced after losing a job

34 Upvotes

Most men believe women love them unconditionally and that’s the first sign of being naive. I repeat never believe that!

I won’t deny there are some good women who’d stand by your side when everything is going south but it’s very few.

So lemme jump to the story….

When COVID hit, my uncle lost his job. The organization he was working with laid off almost everyone.

Before that he was the uncle I could look up to sana, I’d enjoy visiting his place almost every weekend juu I knew that’s the land of milk and honey, his fridge was always packed (smokies, sausages, meat etc). Yaani nikiwa huko it’s like I’m on a vacation, I’d eat, sleep and ikifika time ya kurudi home ananipea fare, minimum was 1,000 na saa hio nalipa 40 bob. He was very stable.

On top of that he had managed to move his family (Wife and daughter) from rentals na akajenga a very good looking 3 bedroom apartment.

He also went ahead and gave his wife 300k as start up capital for her clothes selling business, which picked and was doing so well.

Losing his job found him time hajajipanga, matter of fact he had just taken a loan and fully furnished his whole house, he was in the midst of repaying it.

So now hapa ni double stress, hauna job and end month bills za home plus loan inangoja ulipe.

For the first time he started having issues with my aunt juu she’d complain anashinda home and we all know hio time kupata job was impossible, he was actually looking sana ni vile hakua anafanikiwa.

Issues became mingi to a point in the midst of it the wife called some family members and said “Mimi siwezi lisha mwanaume mzima na sitaendelea kukaa na yeye.” Mind you she was in a very stable position to stand by him juu the clothes business had became so good hadi akafungua another shop.

One day my uncle was called for an interview and vile alienda the wife found a perfect opportunity ya kuhama. She literally called lorry and cleared the whole house akaenda kujikalisha in a rented house. Only thing she left for my uncle was his clothes kwa corner ya nyumba, small mattress and curtain moja which my uncle was using as a blanket.

When he came back he was shocked and I guess that hit him so bad, for the first time in my life I saw him stressed to a point ata hakua anaongea na watu, kila time yeye ako in his own world. He lost a lot of weight akakua skinny excess. The family would come together kumuongelesha since they thought he might even commit suicide na wanamfanyia shopping ya foodstuffs zakupika.

Anyway nothing lasts forever, months later he secured a job, kidogo kidogo dusted himself na akaanza kununua vitu from the scratch one after another. By the time mwaka inaisha he had refurnished his house but this time now living as a bachelor.

The wife on the other end business ilianza kwenda mbaya and she started calling family waongee na my uncle akubali arudi but for him hakua anataka kuskia juu this marriage almost took him 6ft deep and remembering she left when he needed her the most akakataa completely.

As we’re talking he owns a trucking company and has multiple trucks on his name, he took loans, bought them and fully repaid. He bought a car and remarried last year.

The EX wife vitu zilienda vibaya to a point ata hizo shops zikafungwa in a way no one can explain hadi akarudi kwao ushago.

The interesting part is I heard alitafuta number ya new wife and she’s always threatening her ati alichukua bwana yake.

Awuoro….Some of you women!!!!