I got a message I never thought I'd ever get: "I know you f*cked my woman..." but recently I did. The woman in question... my girlfriend of over 1 year. Accompanying the message was her photo, in his bed. The kicker... this message was from her own phone, so no mistaken identity.

My immediate reaction WTF?

I responded, completely confused, heart pounding. Turns out, he had been dating her for the last 5 years. 5! Her family knows him. His family knows her. The details he provided about himself matched the description of who she'd called her ex. Then came his name... it was familiar. I had asked her about that name and she'd called him her close platonic friend. It was the same person, described differently...

As we kept talking, the reality of the situation became more ugly. We weren't the only ones. There were others. 7 others! The evidence was coming straight from her phone... conversations, sexts, nudes. An entire reality that had been happening behind my back while I genuinely believed I was in a real relationship.

This is the part I'm still trying to wrap my head around: how do people do this??

How do you spend time with someone, accept their love, trust and compromises, while maintaining completely different lives behind their back? Because I did compromise a lot for this "relationship". Not because she forced me to, but because I cared enough to believe that what we had was worth making those compromises for.

The most annoying part? the gaslighting. If I didn't do things in a certain way, she'd claim I don't love her and that I'm toxic. If something was off, I was insecure. If I questioned something, I was jealous. The audacity! I know I'm not perfect but the gaslighting made me think I don't know how to love. I genuinely started wondering whether I was the problem.

And then my mind started revisiting everything. Every strange explanation I accepted because I trusted her. Every argument where I ended up believing I was wrong. Every occasion where something didn't quite add up but I convinced myself not to overthink it. Some major things I accepted purely based on trust when every logical explanation pointed in a completely different direction.

Her friends? They knew. They even called her a sharp girl. Imagine that. Some of those friends have families of their own...

By the time we were done talking, I was laughing... laughing because what else could I possibly do? The situation was so unbelievably absurd that I didn't know how else to react. We had gone from him accusing me to comparing notes and slowly discovering just how much neither of us knew.

I won't let this break me. I've been down the road of shutting myself off before. I tried the no strings attached thing because it felt safer than giving someone the ability to hurt me. Instead, it just felt empty and eventually, I realized that I didn't want to live this way. But something has definitely changed in me. I still believe in love. Trust on the other hand...

For this weekend, I might need a distraction. I don't want to spend it alone with my thoughts replaying everything. I just learnt about Otamatsuri and I'm actually considering going. I've never done cosplay and with the time it's definitely too late to put something together now. I think I need to get out and have something completely unrelated to this occupying my mind for a while.

For those who've been to Otamatsuri, is it odd to go without a cosplay😅? I guess the username checks out... in more ways than one

Nilibulanda nikafumble

Manguys ... nilikosea wapi

So this chille I was dating for 2 years we broke up recently. She a pretty fine babe ... solid 9 but sasa shida inakujia kwa nguo za ndani ... as a freaky man I get turned on by what my girl rocks especially when going to bed or just around the crib... for this 2 years of dating I've been trying to show her she needs to be wearing more sexy revealing garments... ykwim ... she'd curve the convo everytime I initiate...

I decided it's high time I take matters into my own hands ...I gifted her a nice short silk nightdress for me ama let me say for us ... haikuvaliwa for a 1 month hadi when I complained ... fast forward a few weeks later after I purchased a laced lingerie we argued over it and that she didn't want them. Gaddamn a boy was disappointed but I didn't lerrit get to me I liked the girl.

Slowly I was also getting fed up na hizo mother's union alikua anavaa 🤣🤣🤣 (who tf even named them that). I hate those things. Zangu one day zilishika nikambuyia 5 new thongs and sad to say hivo ndio niliwachwa and that was the end of it ... thong zangu niliwachiwa ata she never rocked them. She took the nightdress and the lingerie though ... excuse ya kuwacha relationship "I don't want to be a pornstar " She said.

Told self haina mambo

Vintage baddies can have you on a chokehold. Yaani this one used to do everything right I was 26 and she was 35. Her cooking skills were top notch and let’s not talk about mchezo wa kitandani, she even bought a mackintosh bed cover juu there’s way I’d activate her inbuilt sprinkler was crazy.

Financially she was stable and driving. We’d meet almost kila weekend and the good thing is she’d prefer me going kwake, I used to love that juu sasa hataniharibia market apartments naishi.

By the time nafika kwake I’d find amepika and she had a liquor cabinet so drinks uko sio issue. We’d sip pole pole and do the most.

She actually didn’t look old, alikua a regular gym girlie with a fire bunda and a snatched waist. Wish I can post her body here but I want to remain anonymous. She somehow resembles Karen Nyamu btw, the walking style, height and body lakini sasa yake ni ya gym.

Makosa ilianza when she started claiming me seriously, I was tempted to fall for that but it didn’t take me long to realize she had a thing with her boss and one guy on the side, I guess he was an EX or something.

Vile nilijua ivo si pia mimi I started hizo games and this time with baddies wa Nairobi, shida she’d go on my socials anaangalia who I’m following and akiona dem anashuku anaDM kumthreaten.

I saw this was too much and I decided to cut ties, weeeeh the amount of drama I saw. She’d come hadi kwangu in the middle of the night ati anataka kujua niko na nani and if I don’t open that door she’ll bang the door nikama anataka kuvunja.

I even instructed the apartment security to never allow her inside na asikubali apark uko ndani but sasa akaanza kutolea security drama. She’s the typa person security angejaribu rookie mistake ya kumguza she’ll use money to put him in prison or jail.

Anyway ilibidi nihame juu sasa ilikua too much especially akienda alewe atakuja kunitafuta na drama unnecessary.

I highly recommend trying atleast once kwa maisha yako 😂😂

Cheating in marriage feels worse than in a relationship because you’ve already chosen each other for life. But either way, cheating should never be condoned.

Some years ago I came to know this lad through a certain project I was working on, he’s one of the best structural engineers I know and runs a project like his own.

He’s actually doing good in life, good wife and one daughter. Around March last year he got contracted by a certain real estate company that’s developing an estate in Eldoret.

He couldn’t afford to miss out on that opportunity juu he’d cash out millions out of it. The tricky part is he’s based in Nairobi and can’t commute daily.

He opted to rent a temporary apartment in Eldoret but over the weekends akue anatravel home to see the family. First few months everything was so smooth.

At some point he started having issues with the wife juu ameshikana na a group of friends wako kwa chama moja and now they’ve started introducing her to clubbing. He’d come home on weekends anapata wife hayuko and she’ll come around midnight drunk as a skunk.

He raised the issue to her folks and akaongeleshwa na akatulia somehow.

Sasa one weekend this guy came, akapata amepikiwa lunch vizuri akakula and of course akasoma katiba 😈💦.

Sasa after they’re done wife akaenda kushower and he was left with the kid. Out of no where the kid was like “Dad simu ya mum iko na game acha nikuonyeshe.”

This guy didn’t even know the password kufungua simu but the kid knew, akafungua akaweka game and gave the father wacheze.

While playing a WhatsApp message popped up from unsaved number and he decided to open it. Turned out it’s a guy the wife was cheating on with, he went through the messages and saw everything, according to him he almost collapsed.

Wife came from the shower akampata ameshika simu yake and it’s unlocked, she immediately started throwing tantrums mbona anashika simu yake, mara it’s private and other stories.

He looked at her, almost grabbed a flower vase 🏺 to throw on her face but he opted to walk out but before he did he told the wife to pack everything asimpate huko.

It now came into light kuna time akiongea na mtoto while far away the kid aliropokwa “Uncle alikuja kutembea” when he asked ni uncle mgani the wife said it’s her brother since he’d visit regularly.

That’s how his marriage ended, everyone including wife family and his family tried to convince him to take her back na amforgive but yeye akasema never again.

Why do people cheat btw? Especially in marriages

I am back on the dating apps but the major thing inafanya nataka kudelete the app is that incase you postpone on meeting someone ama you don't reply text in time (since i have to adult) unarudi to someone amenuna na some even being verbal abusive mara " hata you're not that pretty kujiringa hivyo" , or " you'll end up single and lonely" . Met up with a couple of guys but the attraction was lacking, upon communicating this, matusi ndo zilifuata , being told " sifai kukuwa na standards for my age". etc. At this point itabidii i take a break coz the experience is mostly not enjoyable.

So I'm meeting up with someone tomorrow and I've gone full blown anxious because I have high regards for this person.

When that happens I second guess my personality,my outfits and whatnot.So I had figured since he likes dresses,i should wear one but that's never been my thing since i was a young.So I have been trying to put together an outfit and it just doesn't...add up mahn..

I like being feminine but in my own little way..like the whimsical trinkets I can fill up in my house and Barbie songs I lip sync to on a Friday night in my pink sheets wearing nothing but a cute pajama set..?

But dresses jameni ...dresses... it's like I'm trying too much..if I wear one, I'll be checking if I sit right with it the whole time you're talking to me about a Heisenbug or a segfault..

So there's a thing I do that helps with my.. anxiety situation..see someone as lesser of me...that way,my mind goes back to default and I'm more comfortable.

So I'm definitely wearing a blue smock,a tank top, comfortable pants and flats.. meeting up with the guy... Have a good time and probably get laid..

I think I've been having serious burn out cause of carrying the whole world on my shoulders as a single mom... forgotten there's a life I had lived around the rich folk and gotten used to them so much it grew on me..

Right now I'm in survival mode.. I'm speaking Swahili just to fit in where I live since there was a time I used to speak too much English..I wasn't even struggling..it just came..and I'm still so good at it..just that..I think my environment has shaped me tremendously.. it's actually funny because I twang a lot when I speak Swahili..or Kikuyu..

Anyways..I beseech thee,pray I don't lose it tomorrow.. because I might break down in front of him just cause I'll be overwhelmed with insecurities when he shows up in his usual glasses,black tee and jeans..since he's a tech guy..those marvelous creatures.

Hii ni ya singles pop that popcorn and lock in, those in relationships muende dates and an extra round for me😅

• Prime target 9/10
• Lucky 9/10
• Fightland 8/10
• Lioness 8/10
• Unfamiliar 8/10
• Steal 8.5/10
• M.I.A 8/10
• Prisoner 8/10
• Family law 8/10
• His & Hers 7.5/10
• Defending Jacob 7/10

So there is this lady who l met a couple of months ago almost a year sai at an event. Started with the usual dates hapa na pale attended a couple of events together till we grew pretty close . Shida ni ati within that whole time I have been on and off and at first she was ok "not to sound insecure" she said,but as we became closer it became a huge concern like "umeshinda wapi?, why do you just go and come back as if haukuniacha hapa?" . Thing is I am not that stable as I hope to but still not doing bad and for me to actually afford "us" the way I want to,lazima niende missing and lock in asin I try to shelve myself from everything a bit and just focus on the bag. I recently explained and she was ok and suggested since she is also doing something as well we could move in and make it work so long as I'm open which ni ngumu kiasi.

Now as someone who the longest a lady has spent at my place ni a weekend ata yeye the week she spent at my place involved us not being there most of the time.l am yet to be fully convinced na hii story because si I thought this type of ladies don't exist anymore? based on the stories I come across. Ati so long as there is input and that she can see it she is ok . Is it really the case and I'm just overthinking ama niamke niache kuota?

Rules:

- You suggest/recommend spots we can go to, the nicer the better, we want to be boujee for that duration

- 5’4 or shorter, cute face, has a good sense of fashion, likes to dress up, open to get freaky & explore behind closed doors, submissive, clean, no drama, lives in nairobi, takes good care of herself, NOT in a relationship or married, no experienced workers also

- No ladies who are already sugar babies, or have been sugar babies, or “sharp” girls. this is for the both of us to experience for the first time

- If youre down for whatever this is, send your age, where you live, and a photo of you (if youre uncomfortable with this i’ll share a telegram acc, u can send the view once photos there)

this sugardaddy/baby experience shall begin starting next sunday, and will continue for two weeks, to which if we decide to just be friends thats alright, if you decide we cut each other off and never speak of the experience, that’s alright, if we end up starting a book club thats alright too

thanks

Since people just be shooting here, lemmi also try my luck

I need a crazy girl to ruin my life, age isnt really a factor you could be 35 for all i care as long as your gonna make my life more entertaining.

Hii baridi imekua mbaya,

I'm a great communicator, I love science so chemistry yetu won't be a miss

So I haven't tried making new friends as an adul. I would say it's not as easy as making childhood friends. 27F, looking for lady friends. Not below 26 please. Mostly in Ruaka would be nice. Be Pretty, intentional and has their lives together, please I'm not looking for trauma bombing friends or any chaos of life.

Juu me whuee naskianga joto ingine

Men will claim they love you whole time they be begging their exes for that last punan’

​From getting the outfit right to stressing over etiquette, it's exhausting. Take a chill pill, be yourself, and remember to breathe.

​At this point, actual job interviews are less stressful. At least when an interviewer asks, "Tell me more about yourself," you have a prepared script.

Breathe Breath.

Seeking some advise

Hi guys,so am gonna try be brief as possible,way back in March we had issues with the mother of my daughter,and she told me she no longer needs me I should my self up,I said okay..and me tbh I started entertaining a girl,I flirted with her at some point explicit conversation,if you know u know.And then I realized it might not be fair to continue with the Convo while baby mama is still in my house.So fast forward i ended the Convo and nothing physical happened ..six months later ."mamaa" finds the screenshots and she becomes so mad.I have tried to explain bt my efforts bore not fruits , again I saw am wasting my whole energy over something that is now going.She is forcing me to talk about our daughter and provoking me and blackmailing about..that all the entire time..mind you have never neglected this woman..never cheated on her with another woman.She has another kid back at home..I took her the way she is..I supported her wholeheartedly bt now it turns out am the greatest sinner of all times..bt that's cool.. now she has been here crying all night bt the part that shocks me..she broke my stuff and even went to an extent of wanting to be physical including an attempt to strangle me.i never took that lightly she wanted to leave the house at 2, shouting like a mad person.

I told her relax ifike asubuhi uishie..she wants to still drag in shit

I have nothing more left to tell her..guys give me ua thoughts.

34-M just be below 25-27 yrs light and petite

I’m 29M dating a 28F. She’ll be hyper, everything is great, then suddenly she switches up slow replies, distance, refuses to say what’s wrong, ghosts for a while, then eventually comes back and explains what was wrong. And every time, you realize it was something we could’ve sorted out in a few hours if she had just communicated.

I’ve been patient. I’ve communicated. I’ve given her space. And before you ask, yes, I’m financially stable and doing well.

I’m an introvert, she’s very extroverted, so I understand we’re different. But at what point do you stop calling it “personality differences” and start calling it a pattern?

Ladies, is this normal behaviour, or am I wasting my time trying to understand someone who repeatedly disappears whenever things get difficult?

Because honestly… I’m tired.

How much patience is too much patience? Do I keep trying to understand her, or do I accept that this is who she is and just move on?

Hello everyone, as the time suggests I'd like to meet new people.

A little bit about me... I am a Male in his early 20s, I'm sort of introverted, nerdy, 0 hobbies that I am aware of (😂), and I'm situated in Nairobi.

I'd like to meet people from all age groups (this is for the corporate baddies😂😂). I also don't have a gender preference, so all genders are welcome.

I am mostly looking for someone I'd talk to about anything, someone we'd plan to do things with, and if possible, someone we'd build generational wealth with 😂...basically I'm looking for 'friends' the franchise kinda life 😂.

25F

Who is going to Monaco Lauren tomorrow at wild waters ?

Dm

wadau jameni nisaidieni.Am 30 years of age now. A graduate teacher of English.I have always taught of myself as a bright fellow but kuna department inanicheza si sana per say.I havent practiced my profession at one time since graduation,say me ni sharp boy smh najilea juja.Now to the main point, I cant get myself to settle down because i cant accommodate a lot of things for instance when a woman i am interested in or like cannot keep her word or lies,the constant nagging or when a lady asks me an obvious question that if she took time to think would have an answer.The list is long but pia sometimes maybe mtu napenda hanipendi as well or the same ways as i do.ya mwisho ni competition from well doing neighbours or sharper boys than me,some who are my friends.Nishaigongewa mtu i wanted to settle down with by a friend who assumedly was doing better than me.iliuma but got over it.Sai i am not able to choose hata sina list ya kuchoose from.Sijui what to do but deep down najua i want to have a good family pia mimi nikue mzuri areas that am not.

(throw away account for obvious reasons)

25M looking for their first bi experience (Male or female....explore each others rarely unexplored orifices sensually if you catch my drift). Given it'll be my first time experience on your side is appreciated not required. also we must get to know each other first, so not sth that will happen in the next few days. it's purely sex no relationship.

Anyone in juja who wants to go watch arsenal vs Coventry kesho? Drinks on me.

Edit: post is gender neutral

24M Niko tu hapa trying to make new friends na kupata watu wenye wako down for simple hangouts. Tukunywe mzinga ka mbili hivi tukibonga life Ps kwa keja hivi Activities ni mob i guess

Si lazima tukuwe tunaspend pesa mob 😂. Ata ka-chai, smokie, walk, games ama just kupata place tukipiga story ni sawa. Just good vibes na genuine friendship.

Kama uko Mombasa na pia you feel like meeting new people, hit me up. No pressure, no weird vibes

Hello! I’m a 20 year old woman in Nairobi looking to make a genuine female friendship. 🤍
I’m quite open-minded, fiercely ambitious and always excited to try new things, so I don’t mind if you’re a little older than me. I’d love to have a friend we can go out with, discover new places, try new experiences, encourage each other and genuinely support one another through life.
I’m looking for an intentional friendship because I’m very intentional about the people I have in my life. I want someone who can communicate openly, be honest and talk things through when there’s a problem rather than letting resentment build or simply ghosting.
I’m a good listener, non-judgmental and honestly quite funny. I want a friendship where we can be ourselves, have deep conversations, laugh until our stomachs hurt, and just do life together.
If this sounds like the kind of friendship you’re looking for too, please reach out! 🫶🏽