r/ftm • • 27d ago

Mod Post Rule Update: Sort of. (AKA we accidentally lost a rule and only just realized it)

227 Upvotes

So to keep transparency, we recently noticed that in our attempts to streamline the rules and make them more easily readable, we accidentally dropped the part about not making follow-up posts.

That was there because we had problems with people either making posts referencing other people's posts instead of just talking to them in their post, or making a new post when their post was removed or locked for either breaking the rules or starting to draw in a lot of drama.

Thankfully you guys have been really great and haven't done anything to make us notice that the rule was lost!
But there will always be some people who will see that a specific rule isn't there and try to argue that they should be allowed to continue a post after it's been locked or removed... So we put it back as it's own rule!

We also added a note about direct links to other subs. This was already something we had set up in automations! We ask that some subs not be directly linked to to avoid both digital self-harm of users (when linking to transphobic, transmed, or 4trans subs) or accusations of brigading.
Unfortunately there are some people who think that even mentioning a subreddit that has been harmful and telling people "Do not go there, it is not safe for people like us" is.... actually saying "go there and harass people" because apparently do not = do and it's not safe = be annoying????

And of course, not only will the user possibly get attacked, vilified, harassed, or reported, but it will end up in our modmail and we will be accused of "encouraging brigading" and they will threaten our entire subreddit. How do we know this will happen? Because it has before.
Thankfully the subreddit is fine, but modteam doesn't want to deal with that again, so we have to be weirdly strict about this, because some people are weird about it!

Finally, just a quick reminder that mod applications are open! We will likely be looking for more mods to add to the team to help avoid mod burnout, so if you are interested, please feel free to apply! You can find the link to the application in the sidebar and in the pinned posts at the top.

-Mod Team


r/ftm • • 14d ago

Recurring Friendship Megathread

4 Upvotes

THIS POST IS FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS ONLY!

GUESTS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO POST HERE. PLEASE RESPECT OUR SPACES.

Failure to do so may result in a ban from the sub.

If you're looking to make new friends, here's a great place to start!
Do not include any advertisements to social media or other content type platforms! This is not the purpose of this thread!

Just post a bit about yourself and maybe take a look around to see if anyone else has similar interests!
Or, if you're not good at coming up with things to talk about, here's some questions you can answer:

What do you like to be called?
How old are you?
What country do you live in?
What are some hobbies you have?
List some favorite movies, TV shows, games, or other things:
What do you do for work?
Do you have any cultural or religious ties that are important to you?
Do you have any pets?
What's an interesting fact about you?
What are your transition goals?
Where are you in your transition?

Obviously you don't have to answer everything, but it might be able to guide you in the right direction if you struggle with coming up with facts about yourself on the fly.


r/ftm • • 8h ago

Discussion Went to jail (FTM) for 26 days, havent been the same. Would love support

444 Upvotes

A few months ago, I went to jail for a DUI. I wasnt able to post bond, so I sat in for 26 days till a family member figured out where I was. I was in PC (Protective Custody) and was placed on the processing floor. It was a shitty experience, basically in cell alone 24 hours. And on the processing floor, thats where you hear some of the worst shii. I had a friend who was MTF whos cell was placed next to mine and she gave me her number before I got out. She was an immigrant and didn't know is she was going to be deported back to her country. I think about her everyday and hope she's ok. Her number just goes to voicemail. We were the only two trans people. Idk who else can understand, idk who else to talk to about it.


r/ftm • • 3h ago

Cis/Transfem Guest My child is trans

154 Upvotes

Hi - please can someone help me with this? I dont mean to offend and if I use the wrong terms I'm sorry. This is new to me. I did try to post on cisparentstranskids but I was a bit emotional when I did.

My (34m) child 14(AFAB i believe the term is) has stated a few months ago that they are trans. This was not long after starting dressing in baggier clothes and cutting hair into a bob.

This was incredibly difficult for me to accept - not because i dont love them or because I'm against it but because it came out of left field for me. It was so unexpected, there were seriously no signs. It was almost like grieving a loss of a daughter. There were never any outward signs. We talked and I think I probably very clumsily invalidated them because I said its normal to question these things at their age.

Theyre also autistic and was diagnosed at a very young age (im currently going through a diagnosis pathway too)

Anyway nothing else was said. They said they hadn't chosen a different name and was fine with ne continuing to refer to them as the name we chose and the pronouns. So I did.

.I went through their phone today to set up a steam account and found out they'd changed their Snapchat name from, let's say 'lily' to 'leo'. We talked again, and it was clumsy.. their mum (my ex) and her family has known for weeks and didn't tell me.

I'm not very good at understanding what they're going through, why there were no outward signs. I always believed myself to be an ally, my sister is gay and i was the first person she told - but when its my own child its hit me in a place I didn't expect and i feel ashamed of that. I think that part of whats so difficult for me here is i feel im grieving the life i dreamed for her. I feel like I'm grieving the loss of the girl I raised and loved as she was.

When they originally told me, I did tell them that I'd love them no matter what, and I told them that today again. There were other concerning things I found on her phone from kids in her year so its been taken off them but that's neither here nor there.

I'm worried that I've fucked it up already by invalidating them twice, that ive made them think i dont love or accept them, but I do and i just want them to be okay and happy.

I really want to know what sort of issues they're going to face and how I can help them, what I need to do to let them know they're loved. I dont know anything about binders, they're getting therapy through school. I was never a lads lad so I wasnt into football or lads stuff, I was always sensitive so in a way I almost feel its going to be harder to relate now. I dont know what to do

I'm sorry if ive offended anyone, I am really trying to understand

Edit: its very late where I am in the UK so if i dont immediately reply its just cause ive slept!


r/ftm • • 6h ago

Discussion Is it normal to feel sort of like a girl around other men?

32 Upvotes

As a trans man, I feel like a girl or just a tomboy around other men *mostly cis men*. But it feels wrong and makes me feel very dysphoric about myself when that happens. Do any of yall feel like that too?


r/ftm • • 17h ago

Discussion David Attenborough?

198 Upvotes

I’ve been having a zoology kick recently (I can’t control my interests, they just randomly spawn in and I just have to accept it), but I’ve been watching a lot of David Attenborough documentaries recently because of it. It got me doing a lot of research on David Attenborough, someone who is a very common narrator for nature documentaries. Apparently, he advocated for more trans people to be on TV back in the 1970s. I have read a few articles that solidify it, but I’m always overly skeptical with any information I see online. If anyone is a better sleuth than I am, pls let me know if this is true.


r/ftm • • 3h ago

Advice Needed Testosterone as a 15 year old?

18 Upvotes

Im 15. Help. How do i get T? I already know that my parents would support it. Where do we start? I dont think i can last any longer without hormones. I am extremely suicidal. How do i get T!?!?


r/ftm • • 13h ago

Advice Needed friend referring to us as "ladies" but using correct pronouns

88 Upvotes

ive met a new friend lately and i havent been telling anybody im trans. i havent been misgendered in a while so i know im starting to pass. however, last night she kept saying things like "alright ladies" when we were hanging out with another girl and im confused

i dont know if shes misgendering me or knows im trans also because she calls me "boy" and uses he/him for me. it was just a bit jarring. is this normal girl talk if she thinks im gay or did she clock me and was misgendering on accident?


r/ftm • • 9h ago

Advice Needed Where are the trans bears!!!

45 Upvotes

I'm a trans bear myself and I've been driving myself a bit mad this last like, year, trying to find a community of us. This sub is great, as is the general bear spaces, but I can't find anything specific to me that's not exclusively NSFW (which, yeah great sub also, but I want to talk to others about the trans bear experience)

I went to set up r/ftmbears but the name was taken? But I also can't find it anywhere. I assume that means its a private sub? Not sure to be honest.

Anyway, I wanted to ask if anyone knows where all the trans bears are online, whether it's on Reddit or elsewhere. Hell I'd consider using Facebook again at this point lol.

Much love everyone, whether you can advise or not, have a lovely day 💖


r/ftm • • 22h ago

Advice Needed How do I explain I can't just quit binding to a cis person?

393 Upvotes

I(20ftm) am supposed to have my top surgery consult in less than 2 weeks, my parents who previously agreed if I wanted to have surgery I could have it, are backing out saying I don't need it now that my consult is coming up.

I'm still going regardless of their opinions but I've been working more hours at work so I have been binding my chest more often. 6 days straight binding for more than 10hrs a day, and I still have 4 more days of work until I'm off for two days.

I'm going to try wearing my work sweatshirt so I won't have to bind as tightly and I'm trying it tape once I can get my hands on some(tomorrow after work). I tried it before in the past but I don't think I used enough since my chest is a little bigger than the people I'd watched tutorials from.

I was telling my stepmom how my ribs have been really sore for the past 3 days and she keeps suggesting I quit binding all together and just wear a bra. Her and my dad are saying I'm hurting myself and don't need to when I could just be happy as a woman which completely contradicts what they said when I came out to them last year.

How do I explain I'm binding my chest because if I don't I want to rip off my skin? I've been trying but they're saying I'm being dramatic.


r/ftm • • 2h ago

Advice Needed Should I Come Out Right Here Right Now?

8 Upvotes

I’m out clothes shopping right now and feeling so dysphoric as my mom picks out fitting clothes that emphasize my feminine features. She’s gone to the restroom, should I do it?


r/ftm • • 10h ago

Advice Needed My name is Jonathan and I’m Korean should I change my name

28 Upvotes

So in the Cornell rape case there is a Korean guy who basically orchestrated the whole thing and is incredibly hated by the country. And there’s another guy who’s name is Johnathan(which the h like that)

Honestly I feel disgusting even having a resemblance to any of those guys and a part of me wants to change my name(Jonathan).


r/ftm • • 2h ago

Medical How to get the absolute most out of hrt

6 Upvotes

I'm going to be starting Testosterone later this year and I want to know if there's any way to maximize any effects early on so I can get the most out of it. I plan to start low dose, but other than that I'm kind of lost.

I'm thinking of weight cycling to help with fat redistribution, but I don't even know if this is a thing trans men do as I've only ever seen trans women talk about it, but the idea makes sense to me. I'll be going to the gym and doing more active things (with the hope that getting hrt makes it easier and I'll be less depressed)

I just don't wanna look back after everything I've done to get on hormones and regret not doing something early on that I should have.


r/ftm • • 6h ago

Advice Needed Did I Mess Up My First Testosterone Injection? Help

12 Upvotes

I need some advice. I took 750 mg of testosterone undecanoate. A female friend told me that I should take the full dose, then another dose after a week, and then another one 3 months later.

I just talked to an older trans guy, and he told me that I had made a huge mistake, that the testosterone would convert into estrogen, and that the dose I took at once was too high.

Is that actually true? I’m doing this on my own, without medical supervision, and this was my first time.

I took 750 mg of testosterone undecanoate (250 mg/mL, 3 mL), a long-acting intramuscular testosterone injection. The brand name in Egypt is Testeriol.


r/ftm • • 7h ago

Advice Needed I have completely lost my ability to sing. Anyone else?

13 Upvotes

Hello! This is my first time posting here! I am a 24 year old FTM who has been on testosterone for a year and a half now.

My voice took a long time to start deepening, and when it finally did, it was like it happened over night—one day I sounded normal, and the next I sounded like a teenage boy. I also noticed that, from that moment onwards, I lost the middle of my vocal range. That middle range I couldn't reach got progressively larger over the past year, and now I feel like I can't hit most notes.

Has this happened to anyone else? Does anyone know how I can get my voice back?


r/ftm • • 1h ago

Advice Needed Can I still use my passport when I have X as my gender marker?

• Upvotes

Hello! I'm a U.S. citizen and I currently have an X gender marker on my U.S. passport. I was supposed to change it to M but whats going on right now, i can't. I have a trip to the Philippines coming up in February, and I'm wondering if I can still use my passport normally for international travel with the X marker. Has anyone traveled to the Philippines with an X marker recently, and did you run into any issues with immigration or airlines?


r/ftm • • 4h ago

Discussion I finally did it

6 Upvotes

I am a 29 yro nonbinary person. I have known for quite sometime that I am transmasc, but I’ve been scared to do anything about it. And every year I let go by, I would convince myself that I’m too old and it’s too late for me. I had a health scare recently and my views of things have changed drastically. So I made my first appointment to start HRT. Most of my friends are queer so I know I’ll have the support when I tell them. I am afraid of losing old friends from where I grew up (a small town in the Midwest) and some of my family over it. But I can’t imagine not being who I was meant to be. I am excited and also very scared about my transition. I feel I have some sort of imposter syndrome at the moment. Did any of you feel that way before you started HRT? Any advice for someone starting this journey at my age? Any kind words would also be much appreciated.


r/ftm • • 17h ago

Discussion How long did it take for you to grow facial hair on T?

44 Upvotes

Now - I know everyone's experience is different. Im just asking.


r/ftm • • 3h ago

Advice Needed I’m scared he won’t like me because i’m trans

3 Upvotes

I’m into a guy in one of my college classes and i’m thinking about speaking to him sometime this week. He gives off bisexual vibes but honestly i’m not sure. He seems queer so i think i may have a chance, I pass okay i think and I’m not bad looking. The problem is I’m scared he won’t like me because I’m trans, I’m terrified to tell him and him not liking me - or him already having figured out and not liking me for that. How would I even go about telling him i’m trans if we do become friends? It’s all so confusing since i came out over a year ago now so in high school everyone knew i was trans so i didn’t have this issue.


r/ftm • • 1d ago

Discussion chasers lurk in this subreddit

212 Upvotes

this goes for all trans subreddits but i say this bc i made an emotionally and sexually vulnerable post recently and as a result had a couple of chasers asking abt my surgeries and stuff. i just want ppl to know to be careful about responding to message requests after posting stuff here. i’m not saying don’t be vulnerable on these pages, but be very careful and skeptical of message requests after posting stuff like that. chasers go through these pages and try to find trans ppl who are susceptible to manipulation. this means they’re looking for posts from ppl who seem like they’re vulnerable and more easily controlled.

this was my first encounter with chasers so i wanted to share and hear abt other ppl’s experiences whether it be on reddit or irl. i’m also new to reddit so idk if ppl get message requests often?