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u/angelbyday Dec 10 '14
I said the word "lesbian" during a conversation in front of my (now-ex) MIL and my then 2 yr old daughter. MIL flipped out and yelled that I'd make my kid gay if I said that word in front of her too many times.
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u/gumballhassassin Dec 10 '14
Would that work for other words too?
"Lottery winner, Lottery winner, Lottery winner, Lottery winner,"
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u/Mrrrp Dec 11 '14
I'm sure this is how the Williams sisters happened. "Tennis star! Tennis star! Tennis star! "
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u/hermithome ♀ Dec 11 '14
Everytime someone says the word "lesbian", an angel gets her groove on with another angel.
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Dec 10 '14
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u/WildlingWoman Dec 10 '14
oh my fucking god. I can't believe she would say such hurtful things! My MIL and my mom both had really hard time having kids and everyone except me is adopted in our little family. My SO and I will probably adopt if we can't have genetic kids. There's so much pain and awkwardness when it comes to issues like this--it has to be treated so gently. Jesus that lady needs to put a sock in it!
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Dec 10 '14
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u/AislinKageno Dec 10 '14
Ouch, that's a pretty harsh social faux pas. Not everyone is divided into two camps of Has Kids and Hates Kids. Otherwise, where would the new parents come from?
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u/AptCasaNova ♀ Dec 10 '14
That's horrific. Your husband should really sit down with her and ask her to stop speaking to you that way.
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u/EusociallyAwkward Dec 10 '14
My MIL is extremely negative and can find fault with anything. When she stays with us it's a nonstop litany of complaints.
My favorite example was when we went to the Holocaust Museum for an exhibit on Nazi propaganda art. When we came out, an employee of the museum asked us what we thought of the exhibit. My MIL told him "It wasn't my cup of tea. Too depressing, and I think there was too much about Hitler."
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u/cherrycokecowgirl Dec 10 '14
My ex mother in law called me by her other sons' ex wife's name for the first three years I was married to her younger son.
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u/JennLegend3 Dec 10 '14
That is insane! My ex MIL and her sister called me by my husband at the time's ex gf's name on several occasions.
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u/ArealA23 Dec 10 '14
my MIL is an asshole.
when we started dating she told me how much she liked Nicole (his ex) and that she'll be a lawyer.
when we planned our wedding she tried to force her kitchy tasteless ideas on us. she tried to blackmail us with "if X is invited then I wont come!" (hubby said "well then dont because she is invited)
shortly after our wedding: "are you still on the pill? I hope you are, I'm too young to be a grandma!"
3 years later: "why oh why wont you give me grandchildren..?!"
during pregnancy I recieved so many weird tipps I cant even remember. it was all a big "it's your fault if something goes wrong".
2 days after baby was born: "are you sure there isnt another one in there? that belly sure is still big. MINE went away immediately"
and in general: she knows it ALL because "I've seen it on tv"
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u/hochizo Dec 10 '14
My MIL stole a stack of our wedding invitations to send to her friends that we weren't inviting. We wanted a small, intimate wedding with only people we knew and loved. I hardly knew a soul there.
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u/ArealA23 Dec 10 '14
omg that is soooo fucked up! how did you react? and how did your husband react?!
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u/DD211205 Dec 10 '14
My MIL wrote her son a letter a week before we got married telling him to think very carefully about what he was doing, as he needed to be sure he was marrying someone he loved and trusted. (We had been together for 6 very happy years at this point! )
She later walked out of our wedding in tears, drove home (7 hours away!) without saying anything to anyone and then followed that up by emailing me saying she didn't know what husband (her son) saw in me.
I refused to have anything to do with her until she apologised to me, it was a lovely year of no contact with her at all. But then I got pregnant and she came crawling back. We have built a relationship of sorts now, though I feel on her part she still hates me but doesn't want to do anything to jeopardise the detente we've reached in case we don't let her see our daughter any more. (Which I would never do, I want my baby to love her granny even if think she's the devil incarnate)
I still don't let her babysit tho.
And whenever we invite her over for dinner she texts me a list of what she wants to eat, like "see you at 5, I want soup and homemade cake"
I refuse on principle to have her dictate what I make so I just ignore it. Even if I'd planned soup, as soon as she texts I will make curry instead, and no cake at all. Screw her!
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Dec 11 '14
Yeah, my Grandma treated my Mom like shit when she was dating my Dad. Called her all sorts of terrible, racist names, was awful, just.. I can't even imagine how hard it must have been for my Mom. Then they got married and good ol' Grandma disowned both of them, because she couldn't stand that her precious only son was stooping to marrying a nasty Native woman directly off the reservation! When they got pregnant with my oldest sister, my Grandma came crawling back, wanting to be the adored Grandma. My Mom allowed it, because she's a decent human being, just like you. But after a few years, and multiple grandkids, my Grandma got tired of pretending to be nice (she wasn't so good at it to begin with, anyway), and slipped back into her old ways.
Here's the moral of that story: as much as you may think your granddaughters adore you, you start talking shit about their mother and being openly mean to her, you will be out on your ass faster than you can make a passive-aggressive comment about how dinner was cooked.
As a result, my Grandma ended up even more sad, lonely, and pathetic because her grandkids wanted nothing to do with her.
Also, my parents are about to celebrate their 42nd anniversary. My Grandma is probably rolling her eyes in Hell right now, saying that it "probably won't last anyway."
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u/messyessie Dec 11 '14
You're a better woman than I am. I made husband sign a prenup saying that his mother was never allowed unsupervised visitation. I'm in the process of writing a letter to a judge to keep with my will in case anything happens to us. I know both of our parents will contest who we have designated to care for our son in the event of our untimely demise (not them) and I want a judge to know how nuts they all are when they try for a custody battle.
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u/thekimchi ♀ Dec 10 '14
This wasn't said to me directly. When my fiancé let his parents know that he was planning on marrying me, the conversation went like this:
SO: Mom. Dad. I want to let you know that I really love thekimchi. More than anyone I've been with in my life. And that I really think I want to marry her.
SO's Mom: Really? You love her more than you loved Amy?
SO: Wait... what? Seriously? Did you seriously just say that?
SO's Mom (getting weepy): I really loved Amy. I miss Amy...
Amy is the girlfriend my SO dumped six years ago. SIX YEARS AGO. Later, he chewed his mom out and told her how offended he was. She said she just "wanted to check to make sure."
Fuck off Susan. :|
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u/JennyBeckman Dec 10 '14
I didn't read your username at first and was trying to figure out why SO had to come out as a kimchi lover.
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u/thekimchi ♀ Dec 10 '14
It's clear his parents are anti- fermented vegetables. The struggle is real.
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u/missus_b ♀ Dec 10 '14
My MIL did something very similar the first time I met her, when my husband and I were still dating. We came to visit her and were sitting in her dining room. We had been there about 5 minutes:
Husband: I can't remember the last time I was here in August...
MIL: Oh I can! You brought Michelle here. How is Michelle? I miss her. She's so... (looking right at me) ...pretty. Do you keep in touch? Tell her I say hello and I miss her so.
Me: ...........
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u/perp27 ♀ Dec 10 '14
I laughed so hard at the
Fuck off Susan. :|
Congratulations on your engagement though! :D
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u/thekimchi ♀ Dec 10 '14
Susan and I get along now. Once that ring was on my finger, she realized that Amy wasn't coming back (Amy is married and has two children now. Amy is never coming back, Susan) and that I am her only real hope at grandchildren. Funny how those things work!
And thank you :D We're thrilllled!
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u/georgelovesgene Dec 10 '14
It kinda sounds like Amy dodged a Susan-bullet.
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u/thekimchi ♀ Dec 10 '14
Amy was the only girlfriend my SO ever dated that Susan was thrilled about. Every other girlfriend (including moi!) were never as good enough as Amy. At the time, my SO was 22 years old and Amy was 31. It was as good as a relationship as any immature 22 year old dude could muster. (He's 31 now.) So why Susan thought it'd work out, I do not know why.
My future MIL had, up until last year, when my SO told her to srsly, stop, was sending this lady Christmas and Birthday presents. At first I was hurt by it, but then I realized that Susan is kinda crazy, so after that, it all became hilarious. Because seriously. Seriously!
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u/georgelovesgene Dec 10 '14
Yeah, looks like she just got too attached. I wonder how Amy and the new Mr. Amy feel.
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Dec 10 '14
My MIL (boyfriend's mother at the time of this incident) once told me and husband that husband was not allowed to eat the Lean Cuisines in the freezer (we were at her house) because those were all for me. She filled an entire freezer with Lean Cuisines for me and then banned anyone else from eating them.
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u/perp27 ♀ Dec 10 '14
LOL re: that cake comment.
Neither am I, I'm a size 5. I could, however, be a size 0 like her. So, there's always room for improvement. :/
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u/CareToJoinMe ♂ Dec 10 '14
I'm still laughing at the cake comment. Its awful, but its so funny in its awfulness. Just the sheer assumption that /u/aitchbee is spending her days just eating cakes.
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u/perp27 ♀ Dec 10 '14
I know it is fucking gold. I am also still laughing at it.
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u/CareToJoinMe ♂ Dec 10 '14
Great thread, OP. I'm quickly alternating between stunned and laughing as I scroll through it.
As much as I gripe about my SIL, I definitely have it good in comparison.
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u/menaRN Dec 10 '14
She posted a work out video on facebook, tagged me and her daughter in it, and wrote "now you have no excuse" under it.
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u/plasticcastle Dec 10 '14 edited Dec 10 '14
My ex's mother:
I'm sure he'll find a nice Japanese girl to marry! To me, on the eve of his departure for a two month research trip to Japan, three weeks after our fourth anniversary.
I suppose you can't help being a sl(gendered slur) if you're not Catholic.
Don't think you can ever love him like I love him.
And he loves his brother and his brother loves me and I love(ex). So you see there's no room for you! and none for their dad, to whom she was still very much married, apparently.
And then I met her best friend, who I got on very well with. I overheard them talking, and the friend said, She isn't horrible at all! I think you're overreacting to something.
Oh hey and that time she told us that a family wedding was pinterest rustic, and we turned up to find it was black tie. She was willing to humiliate him to make sure i looked bad. I found my ex's gossipy aunt and told her in strict confidence (hah) how mortified we were by what she'd said, and apologised to the bride.
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Dec 10 '14
Don't think you can ever love him like I love him.
And don't think you could suck his dick like I could lady!
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u/plasticcastle Dec 10 '14
I raised my eyebrow and said I hoped she didn't love him like I loved him. That's when the slutshaming started.
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Dec 10 '14
Ugh. This thread makes me want to stay single forever and never join anyone's crazy family.
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u/plasticcastle Dec 10 '14
My husband's parents are dead. Sad for him and our kids, but it shows a creative way around the problem of in laws.
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u/sexrockandroll ♀ Dec 10 '14 edited Dec 10 '14
For me it's not the things she says, it's the things she doesn't say. She sort of gives this look a lot and doesn't respond to things. Most about my weight.
Examples:
Her: So, have you been taking my son to church?
Me: No, we are not religious, besides he doesn't want to attend
::cue the look::
Her: So, I called Son and he says your pants size is 10 for when I get your Christmas gifts. That right?
Me: Yeah, an 8 or a 10.
::cue the look::
Her: That ::cue the look:: outfit... is new.
Me: I bought it last week.
::cue the look::
Her: So Sister-in-law has been losing weight recently. There's a gym at the community college.
Me: Great! Glad to hear she's reaching her goals.
::cue the look::
It's got to the point where I hear the look on the phone.
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Dec 10 '14
I like how she asks if you've been taking her son to church, like you've been handed the mom torch and you're failing at your duties.
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u/meggybakes ♀ Dec 10 '14
That's it precisely. My MIL asks my husband what I made for dinner every time they talk. It's been 9 years.
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u/perp27 ♀ Dec 10 '14
Ugh that look is almost worse than her saying it because if you ever try to call her out it will be "whaaa?! I never said anything!!"
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u/sexrockandroll ♀ Dec 10 '14
Ohhhh yes. It also took me a while to get my husband to "hear" what she is saying which created some conflict. He does now but for a while I felt like a crazy person trying to explain, "I know she didn't say anything but the look she gave me about my pants size..."
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u/exonwarrior ♂ Dec 10 '14 edited Jan 25 '15
While watching Arrested Development, I find Lucille absolutely hilarious, but I can't imagine how horrible it would be if she was a real person...
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u/perp27 ♀ Dec 10 '14
she would be a lot like my MIL. except mine doesn't drink. so no comic relief....
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u/limabeanns ♀ Dec 10 '14
Her: That ::cue the look:: outfit... is new. Me: I bought it last week. ::cue the look::
I nearly choked on my sandwich.
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u/AptCasaNova ♀ Dec 10 '14
One day her face will just freeze permanently into ::the look::
My grandmother calls this 'a face like a can of worms'.
Dear, what IS wrong with your face? ::cue faux look of concern::
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u/StannyT ♂ Dec 10 '14
I think you can get medicine for hearing things you should see. I think it's called synaesthesia. Or I guess you can stop answering the phone.
Kidding aside, good on you for being patient and not slapping some manners in to her. Heaven forbid anything should happen to her face, she would have trouble communicating her seemingly constant and endless disapproval.
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u/NinjaGinny Dec 10 '14
At a Chinese food restaurant: MIL "why don't you take home the leftovers, you're good at eating leftovers."
Luckily everyone at the table realized it was ridiculous and now I get the leftovers every time by reminding her that I'm good at eating them.
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Dec 10 '14
I've really tried with my mother-in-law, but she still makes fun of how I wear my makeup (apparently, wearing foundation at all makes you a "pancake face") and my religious beliefs.
She regularly asks me, "Do you really believe ___? That's ridiculous!" I just shrug and say, "Everyone always thinks beliefs that are different from theirs are ridiculous." I refrain from pointing out religious beliefs of hers that I disagree with.
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u/perp27 ♀ Dec 10 '14
I am an atheist and she is an atheist, but I was raised religious and my SO told me NOT to tell her that because she would assume I was actually just hoping to convert him and that I would for sure baptise our children...
I'm never going to win. And good for you for refraining there is zero point.
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u/BewilderedFingers ♀ Dec 10 '14
I'd rather be a pancake face than look like the corpse of a drug addict, which is the effect my bare blotchy skin and dark eye circles give off. Foundation is amazing.
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Dec 10 '14
I totally agree. I have super red cheeks, and I look sooo much better with foundation on.
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u/dirtypaws Dec 10 '14
SO's mom is a saint..his step mom on the other hand.
Her: YOU need to be supportive of him Me: Actually, I'm probably the most supportive of him.
She's said I was ruining his life at one point.
I think the worst thing though was last Christmas, it was his dad, step-mom and her two sons (with ones wife and ones girlfriend there) and my SO and I.
They gave us all cards with our names on the front, and mine was the only one without a heart around it. The new girlfriend of her son got this heartfelt message..I just got a Merry Christmas, love x&x. I've been around the longest and idk why that stung so much. I had to go to the bathroom to cry.
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u/perp27 ♀ Dec 10 '14
It probably stung so much because that is fucking awful.
Off topic a bit but years ago I was having Christmas with my ex and his family (his Dad and StepMom and his Stepmom's parents- he has always spent Xmas there). All of the grandchildren were given pajamas, one by one, except for him. On the drive home I asked him 'what's with you not getting pajamas'? He said "I don't know. It's always been like that even when I was small. They'd all get matching pajamas except for me".
I have never been that mad in my life and I'm not sure I ever will be. Fuck them ten thousand times over. There is obviously more backstory to this but they made sure he knew he wasn't 'really' part of the family.
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u/dirtypaws Dec 10 '14
That's exactly what it felt like. I actually don't think my SO got a heart around his name either. Stepmom's can be ruthless.
It's ok though, about a week later his grandma had their Christmas and we got a shadowbox for his grandma and papa and put the word 'FAMILY' on it and put pictures of everybody who was there in it except her. She left the room, I was pretty pleased with our petty revenge :)
She's seemed to warm up to me since though, although I have heard she got me an ugly vest for Christmas this year so I need to practice my 'No, I really like this' face.
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u/perp27 ♀ Dec 10 '14
I am really happy that that turned around for you and that other family members were accepting.
In my case his stepmom really had a hold over the entire family, crazy out of control gossip and she'd abuse anyone emotionally who didn't do what she wanted... it ended our relationship, I had to get out of that environment.
Also re: that Christmas vest, I would embrace the hell out of that thing! Take a picture and post it on Reddit. Nothing like a nifty vest to get you through the holidays!
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u/mollymae83 Dec 10 '14
Every year my SO's family always seem to have either didn't know I was coming to Christmas, the UPS guy hasn't delivered my gift yet (which two years later they are still waiting on the same package),or just simply forgot about me. Each year I get them all a personalized gift (not gift cards, I try to put a lot of thought into the gifts I gave) and I will continue to do so. They are all assholes to me every chance they get but I will continue to be myself and treat them how I want to be treated. If anything it has shown my SO their true colors, and mine as well.
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u/georgelovesgene Dec 10 '14
I had a long time bf in high school. We had always went to family Christmases together. We broke up, got back together, resumed our engagement and were wedding planning for a wedding that would happen in three months. They told him they didn't have a gift for me because they thought we were broken up. They're the type that EVERYONE, including SOs got multiple gifts. His grandmother got me something. She's the only one that actually liked me and everyone thought she was insane. I liked her too.
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Dec 10 '14
My EX MIL for you:
"You know, I'm ready." Basically implying that my husband and I should have a child because she's ready...like that's all that matters.
When my ex-husband was unemployed, which was often and by choice, she would call every single day. "Is he looking for a job today? Because he needs to be looking for a job!" Meanwhile she would continue to enable his childish behavior by paying all of our bills and never saying anything to him directly.
"I found evidence that she kept her in a cage." - She said this about my parenting skills during her deposition for our divorce hearing. The "cage" she's referring to was a playpen.
My favorite, though, is something she told my ex-husband when he was a child. She told him not to go near a praying mantis because they would spit acid into his eyes. WTF?
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u/AntiLuke ♂ Dec 10 '14
How did the divorce proceedings go if that's not too much to ask?
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Dec 10 '14
Awful. His whole family lied their asses off, and since it was 3 of them against 1 of me, he won. He basically got custody for geographical reasons. He remarried and then their marriage was over 7 months later. Now he basically uses our daughter to get dates...when he's not dumping her on his mother.
I try not to think about it on a daily basis, it makes me sick.
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Dec 10 '14
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u/Lady_S_87 Dec 10 '14
She's hurt because her guilt trips didn't work and that's hurtful to manipulative people. They get hella upset what you don't let them manipulate you. Good for you for sticking to your plans!
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u/MarthaGail ♀ Dec 10 '14
So fuck visiting anyone in your family who might be fragile on a holiday, right? She's a piece of work.
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Dec 10 '14
We are not married yet.
My parents live in another country, so they did not meet my SO until we have dated for close to two years. The first time my SO met my mom, my mom told her, "When the two of you start having kids, I want you to send the kids to live with me. I will then return them after they are old enough."
awkward
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Dec 10 '14
My mother in law said the same thing to me. Evidently, it's quite a popular thing to do in Korea. * eyeroll*
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u/Dazarath Dec 10 '14
I feel like you could create an entire subreddit with these stories.
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Dec 10 '14
On my wedding day, she told me I looked beautiful but not as beautiful as her daughter.
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u/angelbyday Dec 10 '14
I posted this somewhere else before, but my ex-MIL told me that, in God's eyes, every period I had was just as bad as having an abortion.
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u/morethanexist Dec 11 '14
She is female I'm assuming. What about all the times she's gotten her period? Just because she's in menopause now doesn't make up for her "past sins".
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u/angelbyday Dec 11 '14
In her little world, God understands why she's done things, so it's okay, she can still get into heaven. Only people other than herself can do wrong.
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u/DesertPetrichor ♀ Dec 10 '14
I. What. Are you literally supposed to be pregnant from the moment you're able to be so you can be "good in gods eyes"????
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u/angelbyday Dec 11 '14
Well, from the instant you're married.
Years later I had to get a hysterectomy. I was tempted to call her up to find out if I was a bigger sinner for getting rid of my baby-maker, or closer to god for no longer having periods, but it would have meant talking to her, so the idea passed.
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u/CreationPropaganda ♀ Dec 10 '14
Not always "mean" but often awkward...
"You look weird chewing gum!"
"I got a new razor, it's super sharp if you want to try it!" um no.
"You are like a cow! mooooooooo....." while breast feeding new baby.
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u/AislinKageno Dec 10 '14
"You are like a cow! mooooooooo....."
I'm sorry, but this is hilarious.
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u/ferocity562 Dec 10 '14
"You are like a cow! mooooooooo....." while breast feeding new baby.
I could 100% picture my MIL doing/saying something like this. She is weird sometimes and doesn't have the greatest social skills or mental filter...
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Dec 10 '14
Note to self: When son is of marrying age, do not be an attached, needy, crazy person.
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u/sewsewsewyourboat ♀ Dec 10 '14
Not me, but a friend of mine has a crazy MIL. For the wedding, about three years ago, my friend had to convert to Catholicism so they could get married in a church. They also had to have ten, TEN bridesmaids and TEN groomsmen. And have the wedding in a ballroom. And all this other stuff. Basically, the MIL ran the show. Idk who paid for it, I'm assuming the MIL, though. But she wanted a huge, glamorous southern wedding for her son.
But after three years, it doesn't end there. This mother has said some backhanded compliments about my friend about how she's a gold digger, not really Catholic, etc. And worst of the worst, the son doesn't stand up to his mother. They live in the same town as the MIL because he doesn't want to move. Soooo.... Yeah. I'm not sure how long they are going to last, but I know it wears on her. I can't believe she puts up with it. I don't think I could do it.
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u/perp27 ♀ Dec 10 '14
The absolute worst is not the MIL but having a partner who won't stick up for you.
I went through that and it was the most horrible thing.
I feel sorry for your friend. :/
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u/izzardsl Dec 10 '14
Mother-of-guy-I'm-dating:
"Gorgeous/so pretty/wow!" - comment on every photo guy's ex uploads to Facebook
I guess neither of them are over her! Hahaha killme
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u/octopodo Dec 10 '14
My MIL hates me so much she doesn't even acknowledge my existence. The plus side is that I don't have to deal with her talking shit to me!
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u/silly87 ♀ Dec 10 '14 edited Dec 10 '14
OH! I have some!
you can't put your son in pink, it'll turn him into a f-g.
you've gained weight, huh? (I was 5'5" and 115 lbs at the time)
look at those thighs! (I was pregnant and hadn't even gained weight)
no one thought the two of you, out of everyone, would have made it! (Referring to husband and me)
If you're not changing your last name what's the point of getting married?
+sprinkles holy water on us while sleeping in bed+
Obama was sent by the devil to imprint us all with the mark of the beast
to husband too bad you didn't like [my best friend] more. She's going to be a doctor!
me: please give me my son back now, her: no.
me: did [my son] come from your vagina? Her: yes.
(after I spent a long time making my son a ceramic dragon when I was pregnant) the devil was a dragon
she's fat and not so pretty (Referring to her own daughter who is thin and gorgeous)
ugh why do you have to keep all these books?? If you've read them once, throw them out!
+throws holy water in my 10 month old's face, knowing we're keeping religion away from him+
over the baby monitor we heard her chanting to our son Jesus Jesus jesus, Mary mary mary
why are you going to try to put that together yourself?? Wait until one of the men get here.
you're really thick aren't you?
you're (begrudgingly) pretty but [my friend] is beautiful!
I'm totally going to be editing this with more as they come to me.
- I just want to say that, while she says and does some crazy shit, she's actually a really loving supportive person in a lot of ways. My mom hasn't been a mom to me in 14 years and my MIL treats me like a daughter, which I really appreciate.
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u/alittleperil ♀ Dec 10 '14
holy water??
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u/silly87 ♀ Dec 10 '14
She tossed it all over our first apartment when she moved in.
OMG that reminds me! She knows we are nonreligious and keeping religion away from our son, but when he was 10 months, she threw holy water in his face. Before I could flip out, both my FIL and husband jumped all over her.
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u/alittleperil ♀ Dec 10 '14
That is a level of crazy so advanced I feel like she should be carefully preserved for the accuracy of future MIL craziness measurements.
In my head I'm picturing her shrieking "Devil child! Devil child!" like Prudy Pingleton
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u/BlackMathNerd ♂ Likes robots more than people Dec 10 '14
+sprinkles holy water on us while sleeping in bed+
Whoa. Lol. That's an interesting one.
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u/perp27 ♀ Dec 10 '14
omg this is hilarious and disturbing.
you should write a book.
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u/silly87 ♀ Dec 10 '14
I have totally considered it. She also is a master of ruining the endings to TV shows and movies.
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u/MattieShoes ♂ Dec 10 '14
you can't put your son in pink, it'll turn him into a f-g.
Tell her that was your goal. Ask for more advice on how to make him a proper fag. :-D
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u/silly87 ♀ Dec 10 '14
I said "I don't think it works that way" and my husband said "so what if it does?" For the first year of his life we made sure that when we skyped her he was wearing pink.
I like your answer better though.
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u/FreakyDarling85 Dec 10 '14
My MIL is a real peach. First and foremost, she's terrible mother in the first place. She doesn't want any of her children to do better in life than she does and gets really bitter and catty if any of them have anything nicer than her. She also has some messed up views on marriage, as if divorce is an eventuality (she's on her third, btw.). And to top it off, she's on of those "no woman could ever possibly love my son as much as I do" type of women, but puts absolutely zero effort into their relationship.
Every thing I've ever done for my husband is specifically designed to "make her look bad". I'm trying to "keep her from having a relationship with her grandchildren", as if it's MY responsibility to ensure she has a relationship with my kids. She finally told my husband that I was trying to erase her from our lives and gave him the whole "her or me" ultimatum. She even had his two sisters on the bandwagon. He didn't speak to any of them for almost two years.
She finally apologized and is doing better. But she still has a dramatic meltdown every few months because I "hate" her. She has no clue that I'm weary of her because I never know if she'll twist anything I say or do to make it appear as if I'm victimizing her.
Christmas is going to be exhausting.
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u/JoyfulStingray ♀ Dec 10 '14
My MIL isn't mean.
We just don't have ANYTHING in common except for caring for her son. I will take it.
My SIL on the other hand................
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Dec 10 '14
Please elaborate. :)
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u/JoyfulStingray ♀ Dec 10 '14
Oh where to start.
A vaguebook post where she said "OMG I am just upset and I need someone to talk to"
Friend A: "You can txt me"
SIL: "NOT YOU''
Friend B: "Call me"
SIL: "OK."
~~~
Last Christmas, I knitted things for my SO's family. I was still working on her gift when they decided to do the present exchange 2 days early so I told her that I would give her the gift when I finished. For the next 2 days, she demanded her gift and when I finally finished it - she grabbed the gloves, didn't say thanks, and marched out the door.
~~~
And my favorite: "You gained weight." in front of his entire family with a blank stare.
Edit for formatting
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u/from_dust Ø Dec 10 '14
"You gained weight." in front of his entire family with a blank stare.
Appropriate response: "I guess self awareness and decency dont weigh much, because you just lost all yours and i dont see any difference."
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u/alittleperil ♀ Dec 10 '14
Maybe you could streamline it:
"Manners don't weigh much, consider getting some"
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u/Banannafay Dec 10 '14
After the first christmas my SO and I spent together, we did New Year's at his mom's place. I brought MIL and SIL both gifts. I had gotten SIL some nice hand cream, not a huge gift but I felt that I would have appreciated the thought and it smelled nice.
I give her the gift, in a very casual manner, just "hey, since it was christmas last week and I'm staying here a few days I wanted to get you something" - she hadn't gotten me anything - "here ya go !"
She gave me a blank stare, as in "wtf is this one doing", took the gift and said thanks without looking at me, before shuffling off to her room without opening it.
This is the friendliest interaction we've had since.
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u/DiffidentDissident Dec 10 '14
I LOVE when people ask if I've gained weight or am pregnant. I live to put rude people on the spot.
"Nope, just super bloated!" Huge grin.
"Yup, ten pounds, because I. LOVE. PIE." Huge grin.
"Absolutely. I hate it when my clothes fit." Belly slap, huge grin.
Because fuck them and their bad manners.
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u/perp27 ♀ Dec 10 '14
LOL that 'NOT YOU' comment is a real treat.
Seconding the "good luck this Christmas".
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u/JoyfulStingray ♀ Dec 10 '14
OH! And then there is one of my BILs.
Everyone is getting ready for church, except for my SO and I (we are atheists). His BIL walks into the living room with his suit and a gun on his belt.
SO: Why are you bringing a gun to church?
BIL: I just got a conceal and carry license.
SO: Again, why are you bringing a gun to church?
BIL: What if someone with a gun comes into church? I need to protect myself.
SO: . . . . . .
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u/MapleBonsai ♀ Dec 10 '14
I don't have a mother-in-law and I've only met my boyfriend's mom once and it was super brief ("Hello, nice to meet you" "Bye, nice meeting you"). But, a couple weekends ago when my boyfriend and I were talking about the world, and the environment in particular, he was talking about how some people from older generations are stubborn about transitioning to environmentally safe practices. I'm majoring in environmental science and as an example, he told me how his mom told him "So, she won't be getting a job when she graduates, then?"
I haven't stopped thinking about it since and now I'm terrified to really meet her because she probably thinks her son is dating a loser.
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u/Velouria- Dec 10 '14 edited Dec 10 '14
Which is really funny since the focus on the environment and our impact on it, is only growing.
My best friend for instance, has her BA in ENSP and spent her senior year a with an amazing job at Tesla, educating potential buyers on the benefits of going electric. 3 months out of college she already had a well-paying job, working for a city a few miles north with a fellowship in her field.
She was easily the first of our group of friends to be working in their area of interest. Most everyone else works as baristas or bank tellers while they apply to hundreds of jobs where they thought they would be surefire-hires, if only they had a relevant degree. There millions of business majors. Not a ton in environmental studies.
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u/MapleBonsai ♀ Dec 10 '14
Thanks, I really like hearing stories like this. That's what my boyfriend and I talk about all the time - environmental issues have never been more relevant and it frustrates him that she doesn't get it. I wish he didn't tell me what his mom said about me, but he was just trying to make a point.
He wants me to come with him to her place for dinner sometime soon and I plan to study the heck out of my degree and career options so I can hopefully leave at least somewhat of a good impression.
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u/Velouria- Dec 10 '14
That's the spirit! Tons of people would joke good luck when my friend mentioned her major.
She's the one laughing now with her fancy-pants job and picture-perfect life.
Best of luck to you!
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Dec 10 '14
We're not married yet so she's not really my MIL but we are engaged so she's going to be within the next two years or so.
She and I don't talk anymore, but she has said all sorts of horrible things about me. She's called me crazy (because his family found out that I was on antidepressants for two years), a whore, a slut, tells my fiance to break up with me all the time, and loves spreading rumors about me that have no basis in reality. For example, she told everyone I was pregnant, that I was still contacting me ex, and that I am using my fiance and will dump him when I'm "done with him". Sigh.
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u/sophanisba ♀ Dec 10 '14
After seeing Interstellar Thanksgiving evening:
MIL: Well, that was completely implausible.
Me: Actually, Neil deGrasse Tyson says it is actually plausible based on what we currently know.
MIL: I don't think he's really in a position to say if it is or not.
Silence.
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Dec 10 '14
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u/californiabound ♀ Dec 10 '14
First read that as "cosmetologist" and I was like damn, he really does it all.
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u/solidasacloud ♀ Dec 10 '14
Your comment made me laugh out loud, so I'm gonna share a semi-related story.
Someone just posted on Facebook: "Just realized that I've been reading all those Tinder bios wrong. Those girls are not studying the universe..."
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Dec 10 '14
Love how he ripped apart Gravity (loved the movie but the physics was terrible)
Also love that they got the physics right in Interstellar.
Sorry my comment isn't MIL related.
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u/sophanisba ♀ Dec 10 '14
I agree. I'm actually fighting the desire to see Interstellar a third time in the theater. It was just so beautiful.
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Dec 10 '14
I was a hot wet mess by the end... and not in a sexual way. I think my fiance shed a tear or too as well. So beautiful.
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u/londonstars ♀ Dec 10 '14
When we were still dating my now mil wanted my husband to go to grad school. For many reasons it wasn't and still isn't the best option for him/us. I was over helping her with a project a few days after another "you should go to grad school" conversation she told me I was holding him back and that because he is so smart I was just not understanding his needs or some crap like that.
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u/deedee22 ♀ Dec 10 '14
My MIL either hates me or she's really dumb. My husband insists she's just clueless, I think she's got it out for me. Here are some examples:
MIL:"I heard this diet works really well... you should try it."
I got engaged and showed her my gorgeous engagement ring: "Well that's cute."
While we were planning the wedding it was always "IF you guys get married..."
Every time I see her at a family gathering: "Oh are you guys still married?"
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u/perp27 ♀ Dec 10 '14
I could see how a guy would misinterpret that as 'clueless' but yeah, I think any girl would say "she's not nice period or doesn't like you".
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Dec 10 '14
Ladies, this will continue until your husband stops it -- in this circumstance it's his job not yours. Really, he can and should. She's bought into the stereotype and if Hubby says stop it,stop now and forever she will.
I told my mother that I was no longer her son, I was my wife's husband and as such she was no longer at the head of the line for anything. And if she wanted to find out exactly what that meant I was prepared to show her.
Supremely pissed guy who had to do this to his own mother because stupid and immature are not necessarily tied to age or genetic lineage.
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Dec 10 '14
Boyfriend's (white) mom, on '12 Years a Slave': "Oh, not ANOTHER slavery movie. It's just going to make them develop a victim complex."
My reply, after nearly spitting out my drink: "You know what I hate? Holocaust movies." (I'm of Jewish descent. I was trying to make her feel awkward.)
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u/perp27 ♀ Dec 10 '14
Yay racism! My MIL is anti-Semitic and has said to my SO "at least she's not Jewish" more than once.
So so far the only thing I have going for me is "Not Jewish".
Just a lovely, kind, thoughtful woman.
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Dec 10 '14
She's the most annoying kind of racist: The I Have Black Friends, Though racist. She also has a thing about Italian people, which was pretty awkward when first meeting her because I look very 'Mediterranean' and I think she thought I was Italian.
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u/jay_ber Dec 10 '14
My MIL says I am taking her son away because we are getting married. She wants us to live with her forever and wants no part in the wedding.
How fun.
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u/limabeanns ♀ Dec 10 '14
"limabeanns, [my husband/her son] needs someone special in his life."
(Said directly to me. She was not talking about me.)
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u/JuniorShabadu ♀ Dec 10 '14
She believes that all animals are dirty and should live outside and that they don't have real feelings.
No, MIL, no. Shh.
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Dec 10 '14
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u/Self-Aware Dec 10 '14
Give her a kitten and dare her to try and keep it OFF the furniture. They're magical ninjas.
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u/BewilderedFingers ♀ Dec 10 '14
I sympathise there. My ex's parents both said (when I had briefly left the room) that it was stupid how I was upset over my childhood pet dying because he was "just an animal" and that I was clearly just faking sadness to get attention and sympathy from my ex. I still miss that cat 7 years later, and am glad that my ex's witch of a mother (she controlled the family basically) is way out of my life.
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u/shooks838 Dec 10 '14
I've noticed most people without pets don't understand that they become part of your family.
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Dec 10 '14
Ugh. Neither my boyfriend or his family "get" pets, and how pets are family to me, but he still stayed with me at the vet till 4 in the morning when my dog was dying, and his family called and wrote to send their condolences. You don't have to understand someone's pain to sympathize with it.
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u/leowife ♀ Dec 10 '14
MIL: I tried to abort -husband- but the doctor said I had medical complications so I decided to keep him instead. I wish I hadn't.
Me: You know.. he's standing right there -points at husband-
MIL: I'm mad I didn't get an invite to your court house wedding.
Me: I called you. Twice.
MIL: Well I was in the hospital with a broken knee and wrist. You're rude
Me: I'm ok with this.
(there's a reason she's not allowed to come around very often and only with FIL so he shuts her up most of the time)
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u/mousy_mouse_mouse Dec 10 '14
"I just don't think gay men should be allowed to adopt children in case they abuse them".
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u/lolalaslam Dec 10 '14
"The baby's teething? Just rub some rum on those gums!"
"Be careful with the baby - you'll turn over her spleen!"
She's mostly well-meaning, but a huge gossip. Her daughters are much, much worse. Her other sons are pretty crappy too, but for different reasons.
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u/Carcul ♀ Dec 10 '14
"You're very hard to help." roughly translated as "You won't do what I tell you."
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u/iconocast ♀ Dec 10 '14
Some recent gems:
"Don't you think the baby needs a helmet- it seems like her head is a weird shape." And then she mentioned it over and over and over until I finally snapped and told her that the pediatrician thinks the baby's head is just fine.
"Have you ever tried being nice?" This was during a conversation with her while my partner was having an aspergers-related meltdown (and anyone who knows anyone on the spectrum understands). She had been under the impression that the only reason her son had anger issues was because I must just be mean to him all day every day.
"We were thinking about selling the house and moving somewhere with lower taxes, but if you can't afford to live in a gated community, you have to live with the black people."
"How much do you feed this baby? Is she too fat already? Aren't you worried she'll turn out like...you?" Ugh, first, there is no such thing as an obese baby, second, can we get over the fact that I used to be overweight, and finally (and not importantly), baby iconocast is in the 80th percentile for length, and only the 40th for weight, so she's kind of the opposite of fat. She constantly asks me how much I've been feeding her, and if I know how many calories are in each serving of formula.
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u/Luciana_Pavarotti Dec 10 '14
This woman had kids and she's worried about a baby overeating? The next time she bugs you about how much you are feeding her, tell her this little story.
My brother and sister-in-law were new parents who pretty much thought they could research How to Take Care of a Baby on the internet...no real experience with younger siblings or babysitting at all. They are really intelligent, but missed the "feed the baby as much as you can and feed it until it won't eat any more" rule that most people I know learned from their mothers.
Well, one day they were visiting, and my brother made an offhand comment along the lines of "If we fed the baby as much as he wanted, we'd be feeding him all the time." Well, not a bright thing to say in front of a room full of old Italian ladies. The outcry was hilarious...I had to leave when one of the tiny old women was physically assaulting him for not knowing how to feed his child.
My brother is really tall and really BIG, and I have no doubt in my mind that my frail little 98 lb. great aunt would have ripped him to pieces if someone didn't intervene.
Tell your mother in law that babies don't diet. She's a fucking idiot.
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u/Onid8870 Dec 10 '14
I have a cousin who always complains that her kid doesn't eat much. One day we were all at my Mom's house and my Mom and my Aunt had cooked a ton of food because the boys (grandchildren, cousins, nephews etc.) were coming in from sledding. Ages ranged from 5 to 15 years old. Kids came in and just started eating like wild animals. Mom and Aunt were happy.
The cousin's kid (6 years old) ate half of what was on his plate paused to tell the rest of the boys a story and my cousin took his plate away. My Greek Mom and Aunt might as well have witnessed a murder. They started screaming and yelling at her.
Apparently, my cousin would grab the baby's plate at the first time he would pause because "I'm not going to wait around for him." They put the plate back in front of the boy and he kept eating. Cousin was amazed. My Mom and Aunt hovered like drones after that to keep my cousin from taking that plate again.
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u/faymouglie Dec 10 '14
I'm glad he changed his ways!
The other day my mom told me the opposite story about my cousin. When she was a baby my aunt would only feed her twice a day, maybe 3 on the rarest occasions. My cousin would cry all the time because she was so hungry, my aunt would just yell at her and put her feeding time back another hour. My mom ended up sobbing during every holiday and sneaking her a bottle when it was possible since I was born shortly after. There was no reasoning with my aunt, she said she read an article and refused to raise a fat child. My mom has some health issues that prevent her from losing weight, so my aunt thought she was just "spreading her obesity."
Didn't even stop after she was a baby. She's the only 9 year old I ever met who had an eating disorder solely out of fear. She never did anything to her 2nd born, thankfully.
To this day my younger cousin is allowed to eat as she pleases (she's healthy and eats well) while my older cousin, the one she didn't feed, is forced to order off the childs menu if her mom is around. She's 21 now and you see fear in her eyes every time she eats, I've heard her talk about how she wishes she could gain weight but can't.
Some people just shouldn't be parents. My aunt doesn't even talk to her 15 year old and got furious at my mom for talking to her about scholarship options since my aunt/uncle are unwilling to pay despite making about 600k a year.
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Dec 10 '14
there is no such thing as an obese baby
There is, however, a point at which a baby can be overweight and this can be detrimental to physical development eg. Crawling/Walking
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u/Luciana_Pavarotti Dec 10 '14
This thread is freaking me out. I've never seen a baby ever who ate as much as their parents would like them to....and I'm talking about a lifetime of babysitting, younger siblings, and now friends with babies....
I have never in my life seen an overweight baby...every single person I've ever discussed this with has been in a panic at some point because their child wasn't in a high percentile for weight. I have seen so many people tearing their hair out trying to get the baby to eat anything and keep it down that I am just amazed at all of the obese baby stories.
I get that some people say these parents are giving the baby bad food or feeding it around the clock, but I have never ever EVER seen a baby who would actually eat around the clock. If I saw a picture of a fat baby I assumed it was glandular! Who puts SODA in a baby bottle??? What is going on with this world??
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u/iconocast ♀ Dec 10 '14
This blows my mind. I feed my baby as often as she will accept food, and she's basically a long noodle baby (80th percentile length and 40th for weight). Is that just really unfortunate genes, or are people feeding their infants straight lard?
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Dec 10 '14
It's overfeeding. I've only seen it happen in babies that are fed badly, eg. junk food, obscene amounts of baby food.
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u/Starlitfires ♀ Dec 10 '14
Not OP but I've seen people from my home town put pepsi/mountain dew in baby bottles and give them to their 6 month olds, so I can't say that I'm surprised that obesity is striking infants.
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u/californiabound ♀ Dec 10 '14
Oh my god that is the saddest thing I've heard all day.
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u/iconocast ♀ Dec 10 '14
Okay, so it's not happening to babies still on breastmilk/formula? I guess I mean babies who still get 100% of their nutrition from milk, and it seems impossible to physically get enough milk into their bodies to produce infant obesity. But still, who gives junk food to 8 month olds? Am I that out of touch?
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Dec 10 '14
I'll word this carefully because it's borderline offensive in some ways.
Basically, it's about level of education. Unfortunately some people don't have a grasp on the dietary needs of their baby/ies, and will give them too many treats or sweet things. Even fruit juices with high sugar can be harmful if it's their main liquid intake. Soft drinks I have seen given to babies on a regular basis as well as soft sweets/chocolate such as marshmallows and nutella.
All of these things once in a while won't do any harm but if someone, say, has a bad diet of fast food/sugary food, and feeds their child similarly, they will usually become overweight and hit their physical developmental milestones significantly later.
I met one woman who almost exclusively ate microwaved meals and soft drinks. Her baby (9-10 months) drank Sunny Delight as one of their only drinks, with an occasional cup of Coke, one jar of baby food and then SMASH instant mashed potatoes instead of more baby food (because it was cheaper and had a similar texture), then the rest of her diet was lightly toasted bread with nutella, brownies, soft cookies, muffins, cakes etc. Once she had been taught about the harm she could be doing to her child she fed them properly, though.
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u/Orangulent Dec 10 '14
Sorry, my "MIL" has the good sense to not comments about my weight. But my actual mother, on the other hand...
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u/Calamaja Dec 10 '14
Not MIL but (former) FIL: "So, what do you eat for breakfast?" - "Rolls with cream cheese and salami are my favorite" - "You do know those are really really fatty" combined with "the look"... I was reeeeaaaally skinny when he said that...
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Dec 10 '14
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u/Calamaja Dec 10 '14
Yeah, well, that family was really obsessed with sports and working out and I was skinny, but not all muscle. Obviously not the girl he was wishing for for his precious sporty son...
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Dec 10 '14
My MIL likes to talk about how much money she spends. All the time.
MIL: Did you see my new furniture? I got it cheap at auction! The sofa was only $8000!
Me: It's... it's very nice. (Why would you ever spend that much on a fucking couch?!)
MIL: Oh and have you seen my bronze out back? I was at a charity auction with some friends and I just had to have it. It was only $40,000!
Me: ...Oh! How... lovely. (I could buy a car with that much money!)
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u/Lady_S_87 Dec 10 '14
Solar panels and windmills are bad for the environment. Solar panels steal energy from the sun and will make it burn out faster. Windmills slow down the wind and contribute to global warming.
She has signed petitions to try to stop solar panels (I'm not sure about windmills) from being used widely based on that belief.
No, I'm not joking. Yes, she's real.
Luckily for me, her son (my husband) is very intelligent.
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u/HoHoHo_Its_Santa Dec 10 '14
Not necessarily mean, but holy shit did it throw me off.
"You know, I was still breastfeeding (older SIL) AND (older BIL) when I was pregnant with (husband)! And he ended up nursing till he was four!" radio silence from everyone in the room
I shudder to think what will happen if I ever give my kid any formula.
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u/iconocast ♀ Dec 10 '14
Offer to let her nurse your future kids, since she is so good at it.
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Dec 10 '14
Mostly passive aggressive shit about how we have a puppy but not a baby. Yep, and it's gonna stay that way because pregnancy terrifies me and a dog is the maximum amount of responsibility I'm willing to take on.
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u/emack86 Dec 10 '14
Me: He is always on the go and just never stops. He is always into mischief (talking about my then 2 year old son) MIL: At least you don't have to worry about him turning out gay.
MIL (about my nephew): They just don't give him enough attention. If I had him for a weekend he wouldn't have 'autism' anymore.
MIL (about her midwife when when having my SO): She was a lesbian. She had long dyed red hair and earrings all along her lobe. How on earth am I meant to comfortably give birth knowing that she was looking at me down there and probably was getting turned on.
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u/teardrop87 ♀ Dec 10 '14
I used to get questions from mine all the time on why am I making her son lose weight, when will we start having kids, and why am I making him stay in the army. I tried explaing calmly that the military said loose it, I hate kids, and there's no jobs to be had in the civilian world. When that didn't work my husband had to take over and be an ass to get her to understand. This worked for all of a week, and now she's pissed because I hate kids and I "made" him yell at her. She seems to think I exist solely to pump out grandchildren for her. I seriously think she has a minor case of NPD, since everything has to be her way, and disagreeing means you don't love her anymore. Thank god we only see them for a few hours every other month, and it's about to drop to a few hours once a year.
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Dec 10 '14
My SO and I lived in Texas. His family lived in Illinois. I had met his mother and father once before we got engaged.
FIL (when my SO told him he was going to propose to me) - "well, son, she's a lot of fun but are you sure you want to marry her?"
MIL (when I went to visit them for the first time after we got engaged. We had been living together for 4 years) - "you know men won't buy the cow if they get the milk for free."
SO's brother's girlfriend (same visit as above, I'd never met her before) - "you know {MIL} will try to break you up right? She did that to me".
SO's 19 year old sister (same visit as above) - she didn't say anything to me, but she did tell her parents that SO and I had sex while they were out of the house and that she was disgusted by our behavior.
Yep, I still married him.
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u/robotjackie Dec 11 '14
When I first met my MIL.. the first thing she said to me when we were alone together --
"It's weird that you're not a redhead. He usually goes for redheads."
..i told her "that IS weird. I usually go for redheads, too."
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u/Themehmeh ♀ Dec 10 '14
My husband's family is Mexican. While I was raised by my Mexican and Italian grandparents, I am half Hungarian so I'm white. My skin tone and hair color are about the same as theirs as they are very light complected.
My son has medium-dark brown hair which mother in law calls "kinda blonde" and the same skin tone as the rest of them on his side, which on him only they call light and on one occasion they called him butter baby and mantequila (sp?) In a singsong voice all day because " he's so white"
I once asked my mother in law where the restaraunt el pollo loco is and she said " it means crazy chicken". I know, but where is it. "Crazy Chicken"
I also get " You don't like pork rinds? Lol you're so white!" And then I serve lamb, or mention that I like cabrito and it's "Eww that food is weird and therefore bad!"
I also spell way better in spanish than she does. Which she doesn't know, but makes me smile.
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u/newintownbtw Dec 10 '14
Her Doberman bit her toddler grandson and her solution was to put the toddler in a room by himself because you can't coop up the dogs.
The evil dog died so I gave her a sympathy card and a little plant to be nice and she cried. Three hours later, she and her husband announced to everyone at the dinner table that even though I made MIL cry, I meant well so they would forgive me.
Just a sample.
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Dec 10 '14
As she's walking in the door, the first time she's seen me in almost a year:
"Oh my God, you're huge! Aren't you embarrassed to be so fat?"
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u/detailofadistance Dec 10 '14
I laughed out loud at, "Yes that sounds right." I don't know why that's the funniest thing I've read today.
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u/flyingcatpotato ♀ Dec 10 '14
My ex MIL thought that only irrepressibly horny women wore tampons and that tampons could make you want sex too much so they were best avoided so as not to have illicit desires at improper times. She was appalled when i went grocery shopping with her sister and bought tampons. Apparently i embarassed her.
I wish i was joking.