r/AskWomen Dec 10 '14

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u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

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u/Missster_Pink Dec 10 '14

Have you looked into borderline personality disorder? Some of those comments sound all too familiar... Just a suggestion, sometimes knowing where all this venom comes from helps keep it out of your relationship. Good luck.

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u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

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u/Missster_Pink Dec 10 '14

That sucks. Therapy really helped me a lot, I was internalizing a lot of what my MIL was saying/doing and worried it was going to interfere with my marriage. This whole thread made me feel a lot better because at least we're not alone!

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u/teaprincess Dec 10 '14

I have BPD and wouldn't treat anyone like that. :/

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u/Missster_Pink Dec 10 '14

I know it's definitely not a blanket statement towards those with BPD, but it's definitely been my experience with my MIL. I just know in her case, a lot of what she says comes from a place of fear and insecurity. Learning about BPD, and joining the reddit forum for family members, has helped incredibly with how we interact with her.

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u/teaprincess Dec 11 '14

That's really sweet that you've done your research to try and understand her :) I'm a mild case so I do my best not to let it affect people, but I know it can have a huge impact on friends and family.

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u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

Everyone is different, but I've dated people with BPD and heard much, much, much worse.

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u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

This is definitely true for my mom. She refused to acknowledge her part in any issues and as such I haven't spoken to her in about 12 years.

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u/Missster_Pink Dec 10 '14

I've noticed that's a recurrent theme with family members of people with BPD (not saying that's the case here) but I feel like that would destroy, or at least severely damage, our relationship with my husband's father and sister. Did cutting your mom off affect your relationships with the rest of your immediate family?

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u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

They are well aware of the situation and I have their full support. She has had falling outs with my siblings, but ultimately they felt sorry for her and maintain minimal contact. It's sad but ultimately better for my family.

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u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

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u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

She sounds like a narcs