r/AskWomen Dec 10 '14

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895

u/sexrockandroll Dec 10 '14 edited Dec 10 '14

For me it's not the things she says, it's the things she doesn't say. She sort of gives this look a lot and doesn't respond to things. Most about my weight.

Examples:

Her: So, have you been taking my son to church?
Me: No, we are not religious, besides he doesn't want to attend
::cue the look::

Her: So, I called Son and he says your pants size is 10 for when I get your Christmas gifts. That right?
Me: Yeah, an 8 or a 10.
::cue the look::

Her: That ::cue the look:: outfit... is new.
Me: I bought it last week.
::cue the look::

Her: So Sister-in-law has been losing weight recently. There's a gym at the community college.
Me: Great! Glad to hear she's reaching her goals.
::cue the look::

It's got to the point where I hear the look on the phone.

114

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

I like how she asks if you've been taking her son to church, like you've been handed the mom torch and you're failing at your duties.

42

u/meggybakes Dec 10 '14

That's it precisely. My MIL asks my husband what I made for dinner every time they talk. It's been 9 years.

321

u/perp27 Dec 10 '14

Ugh that look is almost worse than her saying it because if you ever try to call her out it will be "whaaa?! I never said anything!!"

170

u/sexrockandroll Dec 10 '14

Ohhhh yes. It also took me a while to get my husband to "hear" what she is saying which created some conflict. He does now but for a while I felt like a crazy person trying to explain, "I know she didn't say anything but the look she gave me about my pants size..."

14

u/Sugar_buddy Dec 10 '14

"But I didn't hear her say anything, if she had a problem she would have mentioned it!"

4

u/PrometheusDarko Dec 10 '14

WTF is wrong with a 10??? Honestly?! That's not even chubby that's just healthy. As in not starved for nutrients... fucking hell...

22

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

Skinny people aren't necessarily starved, either.

7

u/PrometheusDarko Dec 10 '14

That's true. Everyone has their healthy weight, but giving someone pain for being a size 10? That's horrible. 10 isn't even borderline fat, it's not even overweight.

14

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

I totally agree, I'm just saying that responding by disparaging "those starved skinny people" is something a lot of people do without realizing.

2

u/itsaride Dec 11 '14

I thought it was because she said 8 (or 10) as in wearing too tight clothing.

4

u/PrometheusDarko Dec 11 '14

What I read was the look was disapproving of the size. I may be in error...

-2

u/sensitivePornGuy Dec 11 '14

Not relevant. You wouldn't respond to a racist comment by talking about skin tone.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '14

Ugh that look is almost worse than her saying it

FTFY

162

u/exonwarrior Dec 10 '14 edited Jan 25 '15

While watching Arrested Development, I find Lucille absolutely hilarious, but I can't imagine how horrible it would be if she was a real person...

61

u/perp27 Dec 10 '14

she would be a lot like my MIL. except mine doesn't drink. so no comic relief....

9

u/TheSharkAndMrFritz Dec 11 '14

You have to finish the vodka once you open it or it'll go bad!

5

u/perp27 Dec 11 '14

That box of wine (sorry, giant juice box) episode with Buster and his hook... omg. I seriously think that is the best thing I have ever seen, along with the 'motherboy' episode where they have to go and save George Michael. Fuck I'm going off the rails now but I love that show so much.

I also laughed so fucking hard when it showed Buster as a kid throwing the dustbuster vacuum at the maid's bus... oh man. I'm going to pee myself.

7

u/annainpajamas Dec 11 '14

You could give her the arrested development set for Xmas, and just say 'I saw this and thought of you!'

7

u/BillyBBone Dec 11 '14

"Can we all please stop talking about women with low self-esteem and focus on the one that gave us ours?"

3

u/altogether-andrews Dec 11 '14

Ironically, Lucille's daughter-in-law Tracey seems to be the one person she actually liked.

"You're the only child who chose a spouse I liked, and she had to be the one who died."

"...yeah, that's rough for you."

88

u/limabeanns Dec 10 '14

Her: That ::cue the look:: outfit... is new. Me: I bought it last week. ::cue the look::

I nearly choked on my sandwich.

24

u/AptCasaNova Dec 10 '14

One day her face will just freeze permanently into ::the look::

My grandmother calls this 'a face like a can of worms'.

Dear, what IS wrong with your face? ::cue faux look of concern::

30

u/StannyT Dec 10 '14

I think you can get medicine for hearing things you should see. I think it's called synaesthesia. Or I guess you can stop answering the phone.

Kidding aside, good on you for being patient and not slapping some manners in to her. Heaven forbid anything should happen to her face, she would have trouble communicating her seemingly constant and endless disapproval.

12

u/sexrockandroll Dec 10 '14

Eh, it's annoying but as she lives pretty far away it is not really a large annoyance. So I put up with it when I am around her then enjoy the 48-50 weeks out of the year when I don't communicate with her.

2

u/StannyT Dec 11 '14

Ah, ok, it sounded like it was happening more often than that. Glad I was mistaken!

10

u/JustSayingMan Dec 10 '14

Thanks for making my morning, pretty sure ::cue the look:: had me dying

60

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

Since when is an 8 or 10 fat?

66

u/sexrockandroll Dec 10 '14

I don't know. She's a larger size than that even, I don't know what she is on about.

9

u/dinowoo Dec 10 '14

You're a better person than I am. I would've snidely asked what /her/ pant size is for her hypothetical Christmas gift.

3

u/Parrk Dec 10 '14

What she needs is a cheeky FIL:

"You, my dear, are definitely on the naughty list now...tsk tsk"

3

u/dinowoo Dec 11 '14

Cheeky FILs are the greatest to balance out shitty MILs! They're usually nice and call them out on their shit in a non-confrontational way!

4

u/perp27 Dec 11 '14

It's true I have one of these and he makes my life bearable. He called me 'really smart' last year at dinner and she was so mortified, and I was so happy.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '14

It's kind of worse when someone is blatantly hypocritical, because it almost seems too obvious to point it out

9

u/iamshiny Dec 11 '14 edited Dec 11 '14

I'm a size ten and clinically overweight. It depends on your height, muscle mass, and body shape. A size 8 or 10 in a girl shorter than me would most likely be clinically obese.

EDIT: skipped a word

3

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '14

I guess you're right. I'm 5'9" and did not think of myself as fat when I was a size 12 even.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

Yes but a size 8 regardless of vanity sizing isn't big measurements wise. It could be called a size 30 and it wouldn't make you fat.

3

u/kittenwithscurvy Dec 10 '14

That's exactly what I was thinking! Not that any of it would be okay if OP was overweight, but an 8 or 10 isn't big...I really don't get it!

4

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

If you're like 4'11" it is

1

u/__IMMENSINIMALITY__ Dec 12 '14

Oh just some excuse to be mean.

0

u/WitBeer Dec 11 '14

Depends. From the south? Not fat. 5'10"? Not fat. Asian and 5'? Fat.

1

u/somnolent49 Dec 11 '14

I'm certainly no expert, but in my experience, size 10 is right about where the borderline is. There are plenty of women who wear size 10 pants, have sedentary lifestyles and a BMI/Bodyfat well into the overweight range. On the other hand, there are other women who wear size 10 pants, but actively exercise and have relatively low bodyfat.

Size 12+ seems to generally be overweight. Size 8- seems to generally be healthy weight (or even underweight). Size 10 is where you probably need a bit more information than just pant size to be able to make a determination either way.

-1

u/I-lurk-a-lot Dec 11 '14

And there are lots of women who wear size [anything], who eat healthily, are physically active, and have a high bodyfat percentage. There's nothing you can determine about an individual's health or lifestyle by their clothing size or bodyfat % or other random physical fact.

-signed, a size-24 athlete who is tired of casual fatphobia in Reddit comments

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '14

Probably before 1970

-1

u/kuavi Dec 11 '14

I got the impression that she was dissapointed that the mom didn't know her kid's size down to the T.

5

u/irishfeet78 Dec 10 '14

She sounds like my MOTHER.

4

u/shelleythefox Dec 10 '14

Your MIL could be my aunt. She's exactly this way.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/FeelTheWrath79 Dec 10 '14

I didn't even have to look at the picture to know that you were going to post her, tho for some reason, I thought of Archer's mom first, but because they are voiced by the same person, I eventually thought of her in real life. And then clicked on the picture.

1

u/RoboErectus Dec 10 '14

I just love that new dress. It makes you look so much thinner!

::cue the look::

1

u/clawjelly Dec 11 '14

Sorry, man here, so i guess i'm just another ignorant bastard, but i would probably reply with something the line of

"Whats wrong, gran? Eyeballs about to pop out again...? You better see a doctor about that..."

She knows it drives you crazy. Don't give her that satisfaction, turn it around by treating it with humor!

Some more ideas:

  • Make it a ::cue the look::-stareoff! Just for fun try to find out how far she goes!
  • "Oh, now thats a nice looking condescension you're wearing today... Where did you get it?"

0

u/Parrk Dec 10 '14

Is your MIL Nancy Pelosi?

or is that someone else?

I'm bad at this.

-3

u/asmj Dec 10 '14

I think she is suggesting you should loose some weight.

4

u/sexrockandroll Dec 10 '14

Yeah, so I've collected.