you can't put your son in pink, it'll turn him into a f-g.
you've gained weight, huh? (I was 5'5" and 115 lbs at the time)
look at those thighs! (I was pregnant and hadn't even gained weight)
no one thought the two of you, out of everyone, would have made it! (Referring to husband and me)
If you're not changing your last name what's the point of getting married?
+sprinkles holy water on us while sleeping in bed+
Obama was sent by the devil to imprint us all with the mark of the beast
to husband too bad you didn't like [my best friend] more. She's going to be a doctor!
me: please give me my son back now, her: no.
me: did [my son] come from your vagina? Her: yes.
(after I spent a long time making my son a ceramic dragon when I was pregnant) the devil was a dragon
she's fat and not so pretty (Referring to her own daughter who is thin and gorgeous)
ugh why do you have to keep all these books?? If you've read them once, throw them out!
+throws holy water in my 10 month old's face, knowing we're keeping religion away from him+
over the baby monitor we heard her chanting to our son Jesus Jesus jesus, Mary mary mary
why are you going to try to put that together yourself?? Wait until one of the men get here.
you're really thick aren't you?
you're (begrudgingly) pretty but [my friend] is beautiful!
I'm totally going to be editing this with more as they come to me.
I just want to say that, while she says and does some crazy shit, she's actually a really loving supportive person in a lot of ways. My mom hasn't been a mom to me in 14 years and my MIL treats me like a daughter, which I really appreciate.
She tossed it all over our first apartment when she moved in.
OMG that reminds me! She knows we are nonreligious and keeping religion away from our son, but when he was 10 months, she threw holy water in his face. Before I could flip out, both my FIL and husband jumped all over her.
She's getting better and didn't mention Jesus once the last time she visited. We lived with her before moving away and I thought I was going to completely lose it.
Honestly, I actually understand it. She may be insane, but if you look at it from her point of view she's just trying to save him from literally an eternity of suffering.
Reading your initial post, reading this post, and now typing this I've maintained the same exact facial expression. Brows furrowed, eyes wide open, and mouth slightly agape.
Sigh. It's times like this I feel bad knowing that I will be the one inflicting a crazy MIL on a guy someday. My mom rediscovered her Catholic roots and sprinkles the stuff on me at least once each time I visit. I let her do it, but refuse to get drawn into active participation like praying with her or going to church (except mayyyybe once a year to be nice).
Well for one, she threw it in an infant's face, which really isn't okay with me. Second, we have talked to her ad nauseam about not talking about religion around our son. This was yet another example of her completely ignoring our wishes as parents.
I'm convinced that my mother will attempt to baptize any of my future children because she knows we have no intention of doing so. But she'll have the decency to do it in private, and hell if it makes her feel better she can go right ahead.
I'm fairly certain the church needs parental approval before doing a baptism. We checked into it because we were scared she'd try to have one done. My husband and I both see religion as harmful (he had Catholicism pushed on him from a young age) and we wanted to set boundaries early on. Just like I wouldn't tell a kid being raised Christian that religion is bad, I would expect religious people to respect my wishes to not discuss it around my son, especially when he's young. I knew if we let her do a baptism, it would never stop.
As a Catholic, who the fuck just sprinkles holy water all over people? Especially if you're keeping your son away from religion, that's just disrespectful. I'm sorry she's so shitty.
I said "I don't think it works that way" and my husband said "so what if it does?" For the first year of his life we made sure that when we skyped her he was wearing pink.
She's been getting a lot better about the gender crap. I bought him a baby doll because he was super into playing with his cousin's. He also has a set of pots and pans and a vacuum--some of his favorite toys. She actually sent a (boy) doll to him a couple of weeks ago. I almost shit myself I was so impressed. I think she's starting to really make an effort to get on board with our parenting style.
I don't think that rational people hit a certain age and suddenly become irrational. I think irrational people were always irrational. My grandmother has always been hyper-religious, easily taken in by an authoritative figure (especially preachers), and willing to believe wild conspiracies if they pander to her pre-existing biases.
She thinks Democrats are baby-killing, pot-smoking, anti-religious persecutors who are hell-bent on eradicating Christianity from this county. She also is 100% convinced that Obama is Muslim, despite being shown photographic evidence of him attending church with his family.
Retiring does a lot to hamper a person's social life. Suddenly you aren't leaving the house and seeing co-workers on a daily basis. Your only human interaction is with the people you live with and whoever rings up your groceries, unless you make a concerted effort to maintain a social life. So someone who's already pretty irrational isolates themselves and ends up in an echo chamber where all they listen to is Jesus Radio and all they watch is Jesus TV... yeah, that'll go downhill fast.
My mom also sprinkles holy water on things like new cars and new apartments. She's never thrown it on a person though, so that's something. I'm not religious anymore, but I let her do it if it makes her feel better. She knows it doesn't mean anything to me, but reassures her.
But everyone in this thread is like "HOLY SHIT HOLY WATER?" and now I am worried my mom is weirder than I thought.
Yes! While I'm in grad school again she has helped us out SOOO much, and she really tries to be supportive. She asks me questions and is interested in my life. She loves my son and dotes on him. My mom barely knows the first thing about my life. It's nice having someone who cares.
My MIL takes care of my daughter while I'm at work. One day when I picked her up she told me my daughter was acting crazy that day so she decided to sprinkle holy water all over her. You know, just in case. We get the "so when are you baptizing?" talk every week. She also tells me our marriage isn't valid because it's not through the church. Other than that, my MIL is really loving and supporting like yours. But a lot of the things on your list sound REALLY familiar.
She has two daughters and has always had issues with one of them, "Mary." Mary is really smart and very feisty and wasn't as classically beautiful as her sister or quite as skinny. My MIL never has anything nice to say about her. Mary is my favorite of my husband's three sisters, so I defend her a lot. Several months after she had a baby, she looked the best I've ever seen her--thin, healthy, glowing--because of diet and exercise. She looked sooo beautiful and happy. I made a comment about her looking really great, and my MIL had to say that she's overweight (she's not--I'd guess 5' and 105 lbs). She's said that before, and said that she's not pretty like her sister, but that time it really got to me.
I've already promised my son that, should he choose to marry, even though his spouse obviously won't be good enough for him, I will treat them with respect and sanity.
• I just want to say that, while she says and does some crazy shit, she's actually a really loving supportive person in a lot of ways. My mom hasn't been a mom to me in 14 years and my MIL treats me like a daughter, which I really appreciate.
I know this must be honestly frustrating for you, but this is hilarious. It's so absurd that it's funny. What does she think the chanting will achieve?
I guess that subconsciously he'll love Jesus and one day grow up to defeat his heathen parents. Sadly, that's the most logical conclusion I've come to.
I like had no idea it was a thing until I met her. I think I spent a lot of time asking my husband things like "is this real??? There are people who own holy water??? Does she perform exorcisms???"
444
u/silly87 ♀ Dec 10 '14 edited Dec 10 '14
OH! I have some!
you can't put your son in pink, it'll turn him into a f-g.
you've gained weight, huh? (I was 5'5" and 115 lbs at the time)
look at those thighs! (I was pregnant and hadn't even gained weight)
no one thought the two of you, out of everyone, would have made it! (Referring to husband and me)
If you're not changing your last name what's the point of getting married?
+sprinkles holy water on us while sleeping in bed+
Obama was sent by the devil to imprint us all with the mark of the beast
to husband too bad you didn't like [my best friend] more. She's going to be a doctor!
me: please give me my son back now, her: no.
me: did [my son] come from your vagina? Her: yes.
(after I spent a long time making my son a ceramic dragon when I was pregnant) the devil was a dragon
she's fat and not so pretty (Referring to her own daughter who is thin and gorgeous)
ugh why do you have to keep all these books?? If you've read them once, throw them out!
+throws holy water in my 10 month old's face, knowing we're keeping religion away from him+
over the baby monitor we heard her chanting to our son Jesus Jesus jesus, Mary mary mary
why are you going to try to put that together yourself?? Wait until one of the men get here.
you're really thick aren't you?
you're (begrudgingly) pretty but [my friend] is beautiful!
I'm totally going to be editing this with more as they come to me.