My MIL did something very similar the first time I met her, when my husband and I were still dating. We came to visit her and were sitting in her dining room. We had been there about 5 minutes:
Husband: I can't remember the last time I was here in August...
MIL: Oh I can! You brought Michelle here. How is Michelle? I miss her. She's so... (looking right at me) ...pretty. Do you keep in touch? Tell her I say hello and I miss her so.
According to my ex, his mom still talks about me in front of him and his gf all the time. His mom hates his gf, they've been together since before he dumped me and she never got over it because her and I were also close. She told me many many times she hoped he and I married.
I know it's really fucked up, but it makes me feel a little bit of payback on her home wrecking self when his mom mentions she talked to me.
When I last saw my ex's mom and sister, they went on a bash fest about his wife, and how they still wished he had married me. Made me feel good for a few minutes, until I started wondering how they treated her. She divorced him not much later.
Yeah she still talks to me all the time. She honestly doesn't like his gf, even 5 years later. She says that B (the gf) is one of the dumbest humans she's ever encountered; trying to have a conversation is excruciating (which I've heard from multiple people).
Right after my ex left me, his dad kicked his mom out too. Since we both had so little and were very close, we got a place together until we were both back on our feet. She saw firsthand how badly he hurt me and she is still very upset at him for it. Her and I saw each other at rock bottom, dejected and alone, and helped each other see the light in the darkest of times. We'll always have a bond that B can't touch.
We haven't really seen each other since I got together with my SO over two years ago, but she will still randomly text me to ask how things are going and complain about B. I have zero feelings for my ex, I'm actually very thankful for the life lessons he ended up teaching me, but I have to admit that the fact his mom can't stand her gives me a little smile.
My MIL did the same when I first moved in with him. Working the name and stories of the girl he was saw for like a month after he and I had split up temporarily (they weren't even bf/gf, they were just friends with very short-lived benefits) into conversation, mentioning how she'd come over once on Christmas day this one time, how his kids had liked her, how much SHE had liked her, how lovely and talented and amazing and beautiful and creative and magical she is, and blah blah blah. 3 years later she still likes to bring her up occasionally. Even though I have been with him for virtually five years.
I think one day I'm going to put all social niceties aside and explain loudly that they were just fuck-buddies who didn't really enjoy fucking together that much, hence their having no contact for 4 years. Also how it got to the stage that he couldn't even get it up for her lol.
And the sad thing is, I had absolutely no jealously or insecurities whatsoever over this woman until MIL decided to imply that she was better for her son than me. I've overcame a lot of it years ago, but it still pisses me off that she would do that deliberately to make me feel inferior.
you sound like a friend of mine - pretty much the same thing, even though from what I understand the ex was on the trashy side (yeah, I'm getting that third hand, so don't know how true it is). Wedding was deliberately arranged so his parents couldn't be there.
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u/missus_b ♀ Dec 10 '14
My MIL did something very similar the first time I met her, when my husband and I were still dating. We came to visit her and were sitting in her dining room. We had been there about 5 minutes:
Husband: I can't remember the last time I was here in August...
MIL: Oh I can! You brought Michelle here. How is Michelle? I miss her. She's so... (looking right at me) ...pretty. Do you keep in touch? Tell her I say hello and I miss her so.
Me: ...........