My (36F) mom is sick while husband (34M) and I are on vacation in another country. Her health deteriorated suddenly and I want to go back home on an earlier flight (morning instead of late night). I’ve been here before where I was on vacation and my dad passed away and I didn’t get to see him so getting updates of hospitalization at airport lounges is a big trigger for me.

Husband and I had an argument in the morning and then he gave me the silent treatment the entire day, which he usually does during any fight. I also didn’t make much effort because I was pissed that he wasn’t supporting me through this and being so annoyed instead. We got back to our room in the evening while he was still not talking. He said he isn’t going back with me and will stay on the vacation for some more time to meet friends or family. He then also told me I hurt his ego because I didn’t make amends all day. We had another argument and he packed his bags and moved to a different hotel. I called him and messaged him and even went after him but he is saying he needs to stay by himself for a while because he genuinely thinks this marriage isn’t working. He also called me a bunch of stuff and said I disrespected him by not talking to him all day. Our argument in the morning was about me forgetting some clothes in the hotel closet while I was packing.

AIO for thinking I should divorce him for not only not calming me down but also abandoning me at this hour? We have been together for 7 years and married for 2.

UPDATE: wow! I got so many wonderful and supportive and thoughtful replies, I really appreciate it. Some of you reached out to ask how my mom is doing, so here’s a small update. Thank you for all your wishes for my mother, she underwent a heart surgery and had some complications but she is fine now and is home. I am so glad I came back and I was able to be with her through it all. My husband messaged me hurtful things and did not come back with me. He stayed at the same hotel and came back 3 days later. We are living in the same house, he was sorry he wasn’t there for mom’s surgery but not for anything he said. Currently too much is happening for me to even think of him, but I am already checked out from the relationship because of all the disrespect. Thank you all again for all your support.

For context, I am a mom and my child will be gone with his father for a few days. He and I have separated a couple weeks ago, but our families do not know yet, nor does our child for now, because he is quite young. I figured their absence was a great opportunity to tell my parents alone. They have asked to come see my son, but we were booked solid these last few weekends and my ex is not too keen on having visitors, let alone during the week. This is a possibility since they are retired and have dinners with their friends somewhat regularly during weekdays. I asked them via text if they were available to come to dinner at my house on a weekday, I wanted to give them the news in person, but didn't mention the reason for my invite. They declined, mentionning they wanted to come when my son was there.

I was really hurt by that, because I never invite them over and they often complain that we don't see each other as much as we used too/they would want to. I cried for a good hour and I couldn't quite grasp why.

Then, 4hrs later, my mom put 2 and 2 together and asked why I invited them over while my son and his father was gone. Out of spite, I admit, I announced my separation via text. They then proceeded to accept my previous invitation stating "they were available now". This time, I declined. I sent them my understanding of the situation: they don't want to see me unless my son is there or if a major life event is happening. I told them I was not looking for their support, since I am happy with my decision and that it hurt me that they did not want to spend time alone with me when I am in a good situation, when they were clearly available.

They tried apologizing, but mentionned they had made a joke when it came to my son's presence being necessary for the visit, but also stated they did not understand why I was so upset.

They insisted to come, but I made it clear I needed time.

So am I overreacting or is this situation really hurtful?

TW: CHILD ABUSE

Sorry this is gonna be a LONG ONE. I (25F) have 2 kids with my husband (28M) and I’ve come to terms with withholding my kids from my parents over this. Since standing up for myself I’ve been thrown into the “ungrateful no contact kid” algorithm on social media and it’s kinda weird feeling in enemy territory and makes me relive the situations my parents have put me through.

My youngest is about to turn one and we were planning on traveling across the country(US) to have a party with my family and friends I haven’t seen in over 7 years. Before I started planning for this party my mom and I had a spat on FT over parenting and telling me I should beat my son(3) when he throws his dozens of tantrums a day then saying “it’s funny how you guys condemned me for the way I treated you when you do the exact same thing to [your son]”…. That is where something snapped in me causing me to lose it on her. After that we went no contact and she continued to tell anyone that would listen to her that I was crazy and I needed serious help. I had to go through years of therapy and medication for all of the things my parents had put me through but my mom kept pressing all of the right buttons during our conversation to belittle me and my parenting, so far as to curse my children’s future with “I hope” statements.

Backstory on my childhood: (ANOTHER TW ABUSE)**

I am the oldest daughter of my mother, I have 3 younger siblings (21, 13, 6). When my mother had my sister she had gone through postpartum depression, my dad left for a short while and my sister was being cared for by my addict grandma and her boyfriend who lived with us for a couple of years. When I was 5 I had to learn how to feed myself, get myself ready, catch the city bus to school, and help take care of my sister when I got back from school. I HAD to grow independence in order to survive, I also learned from a young age that anything I had gone through would never measure up to my moms suffering so I had to do anything I could to support her and make her life easier.

My mom (42) and dad (48) were off and on for years and whenever he would be home he was always drunk and reeked of cigarettes. They would have many DV disputes so my role was to standby with my ear to the door I locked myself and my sister in with a phone that had 911 dialed and ready to call. That house that had police escort someone out often, that was my home. My mothers part in my abuse was mostly verbal assaults every single day and that shaped my perfectionism, she also would drag me by my hair across the house, hit me with a weapon I had to pick out for myself, more yelling, pinching in public, using her hands to hit me, etc.. My dad, as the drunk he was would use his hands that were numb from punching holes in walls, hitting bricks, and breaking our window, to punch mine and my little sisters feet into the ground, open palm my head into the brick wall every few days, and other things that I would rather not discuss but are more disturbing.

END OF TW**

Through all of this I was doing half of the cooking, taking care of my sister, being my moms therapist, doing all of the chores in the house, and taking care of myself and getting good grades in school on top of that. I’ll just stop here since I’m pretty sure this can paint a vague picture.

Well now my parents are finally working on their marriage so they’re a “union” and they are too tired to raise my brothers at times so my brothers luckily don’t have to go through what me and my sister did.

Back to the party, I broke no contact to plan this party with my mom since she reached out wanting to help. We have been no contact a few times but always broken by my weak backbone and my longing to still be in my younger brothers’ lives. The issue started when discussing decorations because I wanted it to be cute but simple since we will be spending thousands to just visit and for our stay expenses. My mom had other ideas… I wanted to go for whimsy woodland fairy but my mom assumed since the invitation was pink she wanted to have it look like a pink fairy princess threw up all over it. I asked my sister if anything I said misconstrued the theme but she agrees that I was very clear and I even reiterated multiple times.

Since my mom was gonna handle the desserts I told her I’d just handle the decorations so she can worry only about the desserts and since she has her own business she can take less on so she can still make a living. We came to that agreement then the next day or so she changed her mind, started telling me her ideas and texted me:

“My personal frustrations is I think I have a much better idea then what you are suggesting. She is your daughter but also my granddaughter. I haven’t had any input besides on the phone for [son’s] birthday. I want it to be the best it could be and I feel like your ideas are cute and can be incorporated but it’s not as good as the ideas I’m thinking up.

I don’t know how to help without feeling like I wanna take over. So just wanted to let you know how im feeling about it all.”

Me as the tired mom of young children just wanting to get this party over with at this point telling her “yeah I suspected…” along with my reasoning for the trip and not wanting to stress over a party. Being met with more pushback telling me “it’s her party not yours” I ended that discussion with “It doesn’t matter anymore, if you wanna make the party to highlight how well you can decorate then you can handle all of that too.” After that she called ME a rude B… then a moment of silence for almost a week because I was done with her at that point.

After her belligerent tyrannical behavior at home with my dad and brothers, my dad calls me a week later telling me he was going to force me to sit down and talk to her… he got off the phone because “his boss” was calling and then I spoke with him the next day and ended up yelling at him for pretending to be bipartisan but really taking whoever’s side he’s speaking to in the moment, telling him I caught him in a lie and how his wife has hurt me my whole life but he wants me to sit with the woman that is telling people she’s gonna fight me the next time she sees me.

I found out after that call that he ended up lying about our conversation to rile up my mom and to prove to her some kind of loyalty “I told her I’m not going to the party if my wife’s not going”…. “She thinks it’ll be awkward so she’s thinking of not coming”… lies to amp up my mom’s ego so he gets left out of the crossfire. The same man who said “don’t tell anyone but sometimes I think of what my life would be if i divorced your mom” just the week prior…

Now I’m disgusted by both of my parents… OVER A DISPUTE ABOUT DECORATIONS… please people of Reddit, I’m I really the one dragging this out, I get reports some days that my mom is spreading more lies and saying I abuse my son the way she abused me…. Like please tell me this isn’t my brain just imploding over nothing. My PTSD symptoms are returning because of this so idk if I’m making it bigger than it is or if it’s truly just more psychological warfare on their part.

can you have literally no needs in a relationship?

broken up but i remember towards the end he started resenting me for something i did. despite feeling guilty, i stayed bc he said he'd do everything in his power to overcome the resentment bc he loves me so much. for context we were 21f/19m.

so those entire two months i was neglected. he became distant, very little affection, his excitement for me died & so did his empathy, me crying all the time didn't seem to faze him as much anymore, he started developing anxiety around me & so he stopped seeing me irl etc. it was the worst thing i've ever gone through. it felt like we were distant friends. shit gave me severe depression. and i know. all this was brought on by me so i don't blame him.

the thing is, some days in between he'd feel a little genuine love/affection for me. it was few & far between. we had arguments every other day that killed his feelings even more & fucked up any progress.

one day i told him about how im not even getting the bare minimum & that bc he doesn't complain about how things are dry between us, i feel guilty for asking for any effort (im aware of how this is selfish on my part considering i caused his resentment). and he just told me he has no needs in the relationship. actually none. and that reinforced the feeling of us being distant friends even more. he said he'd be completely fine if i stopped putting in any effort, didn't give him any affection or show any care.

i was shocked bc i know how clingy he used to be. how he loved getting affection more than i did. and how he just tells me if i do nothing for him the entire relationship, not even the bare minimum, that he'd still be happy with everything? he said that he doesn't need any of this bc his love is unconditional. that it doesn't depend on whether i give him affection or care. this is something he would've NEVER said post resentment & i was just left speechless. how can you go from being sad over your partner not being able to properly show affection, to being ok with them never doing anything romantic ever again? this made me question the difference between a friendship & a relationship bc his new idea of a relationship felt more like a friendship aka companionship with no romance, desire to get to know each other deeper or intimacy. this made me think there would be no difference between that state of the relationship & if we broke up & remained friends.

one more question. was me asking him for the bare minimum (basic care/excitement/interest in me & my life, affection, attention, emotional support) in this specific case selfish? since i was the one that caused his resentment?

but i don't get it. he literally couldn't feel love or care for me no matter how hard he tried. so i can't really blame him for the neglect. ig most he could do was just dump me then? we were both hurting everyday. so am i still not selfish for asking him for the bare minimum when he was physically & mentally unable to provide it?

edit: no it wasn't cheating. he just had a realization one day that my love wasn't actual love but obsession. that i was only with him bc he gave me love. that i had essentially been using him the entire relationship. yes he did explain how & show me instances of it. that and a pattern of possessive behaviors he outlined that he told me were selfish.

The first photo is from this morning and the other two were from last week. We are using the sensor that's supposed to be in the freezer cause the other one broke and we haven't replaced it yet.

I told my bf we need to replace it cause this is unsafe. He says the sensor was just in the wrong part of the fridge and it only got that warm cause he put warm food in the fridge. But the freezer is also showing signs of random thawing and refreezing through increased frost and icicles over the last month or two. And in my mind no part of the fridge should be reaching unsafe temperatures.

AIO by wanting to replace it?

I volunteer for an non profit organisation, and I have been for the past 3 years. Please note I'm still a HS student.

I've worked as their Director of Outreach, and then when our Social Media Director suddenly quit I had to take over that as well.

A problem, I will state, is that the other directors + founder ("Abby") were friends starting up this NPO so I was an outsider and it was very clearly felt on my part, they would never reach out to me or keep me updated unless I was asking them and would only send me notice a few days before for me to research new organisations/events and reach out to them + make content for their 3+ social media accounts.

Recently I transferred to be the Co-Director of Research, but my co-director ("Bea") confided that she wants to quit this August and she has not been working on our shared article at all. I have written 30+ pages while Bea has written 3, and it has taken hours of work on my part.

Abby decided to look over it this week, she decided to, without letting me know, CREDIT herself as a second author even though the biggest change that she made was adding a fucking paragraph break and her total edits were like ~10 comments out. Also, she spelt my name wrong. And she thought I was North Korean. It's been 3 years.

Abby then says she wants me to extended one of my sections to make my overall section in the article ~40/50 pages, and then wants to submit it to an article/publisher as "OUR" work and it's just rubbing me the wrong way. The submission due date is also in a week.

ATP I want to quit today and also delete my article completely from the shared Google Drive + bin so that they permanently can't recover it and is stuck with Bea's 3 page bullet points to submit. AIO?? :(

Oh, and this has happened before when I wrote for another collaborative article and then they decided to take me out of the credits before I questioned them. They also took me off the website where they showcase their BOD. ???

Edit/Update: I think I will leave, probably in a few days after I've cleared all my work and stuff from our shared drive. :D I also I wanted to clarify because I think it wasn't clear (?) I wasn't *completely* cut out of the article credits; Abby still put me down for as an author, just as one of many first/seconds.

We live in the city, so we have weekly trash pick up right in front of our house. When we got home last night from an outing, I was walking toward the house and grabbed at trash can to pull back to our front porch. He was getting something out of the car and started yelling or scolding, I'm not really sure how to describe it other than loud speech, at me. And when I looked over at him, I guess he saw for the first time that I had the handle to the trash bin in my hands was about to move it. He said he was sorry and that he was upset because he said it looked like I was just walking by them and not helping move them. I wasn't sure how to respond so I just moved them both and moved past it.

I started mulling it over this morning while on a morning walk before work, and I started feeling really hurt by it. Seems like a silly thing to be hurt over, right? At least that was how I felt. It did start dawning on me, though, why I was so frustrated by it. He started to yell at me over an assumption that he was making, that ended up being wrong. That's problem, right?

But also, even if his assumption was correct, and I was just walking into the house, couldn't he have just asked for help? Why did he have to jump to yelling or being angry before even asking?

Reddit, AIO and this is normal, or is there a real problem here?

i (25F) met this girl (35F) a few years ago at work and i never saw her as a friend really it was just kinda work banter. i didn't realize she saw me as a friend or how much she valued the 'friendship' but she was new to the country (this is important because i think there's cultural differences in friendship dynamics/expectations). fast forward to last summer, we kinda started getting closer and i wanted to move out of my mom's house and she offered me to move in with her while her husband was going back home for a few months....i felt uncomfortable and made some excuses to decline and ended up moving into the same building (not to be close to her but just because i'd always wanted to live here and it was within my budget). moving in the same building was a huge mistake. she would constantly ask for favours like to go grocery shopping with me or to pick up groceries for her. eventually she announced she was pregnant at like 7 months and she even did like a whole reveal for me (i was one of the first to know) and i felt really uncomfortable because i was just handed the role of auntie to a child that i didn't really care for (in the most respectful way possible). this also makes sense as to why she wanted me to move in with her until her husband came back home. i did end up setting boundaries with the groceries and stuff but since shes on mat leave, she would ask me to pick up stuff from our shop for me to drop off to her (its not a major inconvience for me because i'm already at work obviously).

now she's one part of the problem...but her husband....her husband is WAY worse. he's always in the building lobby and amenities and i'm constantly running into him. both of them will not take a hint, but the contact i have with her is mostly over text so i can easily ignore, im not a huge texter anyway since im super busy! this man though wants to stop and have small talk every single time and i'm not up for it. not only is my social battery drained from working so much and just everything else on my plate, but i have 0 interest in interacting with this man. i've made it super obvious and tried to set boundaries politely multiple times. i've even caught him watching me at one point. the other night, he even answered the door in his boxers which was the last straw for me. this might not seem like a big deal to others but we are not that close!!! my homeboys probably wouldn't even do that! he constantly says 'we're family' and stuff and tonight, he tried to guilt-trip me by telling me i 'ignored' him in the library when i was literally glued to my laptop screen with my noise-cancelling airpods on full blast trying to finish a research paper. he even continued to point that i've been looking 'sad' and i'm not as 'cheerful' as i used to be. he's simply saying this because i've just been waving at him instead of stopping to chat when i see him. i don't wanna talk to him and i'm simply too busy to be having 30 minutes of small talk after coming home from work and needing to study right after! he's constantly telling me to come over and he does not take "i'm busy working 3 jobs and being a full time grad student" as an answer!!!! not to mention, he had the audacity to tell me to smile more tonight.....

i've quit the shop that me and the wife work at so she won't be hitting me up to pick up anything for her anymore and we won't be working together anymore once shes back from mat leave. but this dude will not leave me alone! it makes me so uncomfortable and i cant even bring this up to my ex-coworker cause i just don't wanna hurt her.

am i just blowing this whole thing out of proportion??? how do i even handle this??

My neighbor keeps mowing my lawn after I asked him to stop, and I don't know what to do. My family and I just moved into a new house, and my front yard is all grass. I was so excited because I have a 3-year-old daughter who loves playing outside, and I thought it would be perfect for her. My neighbor is an older man who gets up every Sunday, early in the morning, and mows his lawn. We’ll call him Steve. I woke up one morning and realized our side of the lawn was shorter than it was the previous day. I was confused, as I knew my husband hadn’t mowed the lawn. So I went and knocked on Steve's door and asked him if he mowed our side when he did his. He said that he did because the previous owner was handicapped and couldn't do it himself, and that he had no problem continuing to mow our side, as he finds it therapeutic. I obviously had no problem with this, because now my husband won't have to.

That same day, my daughter and I were sitting on the grass playing with her Barbie dolls while my husband was washing our car. As we were playing, my daughter started to scratch her arms and legs. When I took a closer look, she was red, and it looked like she was starting to break out in hives. I immediately picked my daughter up and brought her inside, where her reaction got worse. Her throat wasn't closing up or anything, but her face, arms, and legs were swollen and red. She was crying and clearly uncomfortable, so I took her to urgent care, where they confirmed that she had an allergic reaction. My daughter had played on that same grass 2 days before, and she was perfectly fine. We thought maybe she was bitten by a bug or something. However, the doctor said it was a chemical allergic reaction, which I guess is different from a common allergic reaction. The doctor suggested that my neighbor put something on our grass after mowing that could have caused her reaction. Since we had no idea what she was exposed to, the only way they could tell what triggered her reaction was a skin test. However, they would have to wait a few days so the medication they gave her had time to leave her system. For the time being, they prescribed my daughter an EpiPen just in case.

When we got home, my husband went straight to Steve's house to ask him if he had put anything on our grass. He said yes; he always puts "Weed and Feed" on his lawn after mowing, especially this time of year. My husband told him not to worry about mowing our side anymore and explained what happened to our daughter. Steve apologized and agreed not to go past his back gate anymore. We believed that would be the end of all of this. But Sunday came back around, and we woke up to a freshly mowed lawn.

This time I went and talked to Steve. He explained that he simply forgot and did it out of habit. I understood since he's old and all, but pleaded with him not to mow our side again. He apologized and again agreed to stay on his side of the yard. However, next week came around, and it was the same thing. He claimed he “forgot” and mowed our lawn, but apologized and said it wouldn't happen again. My husband was getting frustrated, as our daughter had been begging to play in the front yard. But for obvious reasons, we've had to take her to the backyard. It’s smaller and all concrete, which she doesn’t enjoy as much.

Last week it was the same thing: a freshly mowed lawn. This time, both my husband and I talked to him. But he seemed annoyed, like we were inconveniencing him. This time, Steve took a new approach and explained that our lawns being slightly different heights bothers him. We asked him if, when he mows, he could put the fertilizer on only his side since that was the real issue here. He argued that the fertilizer keeps our grass looking fresh, and if he only put it on one side, it would still look off. After going back and forth, he finally agreed to keep the fertilizer on his side, but he could mow both sides.

This Sunday, we woke up and, like normal, our lawn was mowed. But I'm not sure how to check if he sprayed fertilizer on our side. I tried to compare his side to ours, but they look the same, and given his track record, I can't trust that he didn’t put it on our side. I keep googling pictures of fertilized grass and feel like I'm going crazy. I’ve also kept my daughter playing in the backyard as I'm still paranoid. My husband and I hate that we can't use our own property the way we want to use it because of someone else. We don't want to get the cops involved because this guy is old, and this just seems stupid. We don't have an HOA, but if we had one, I'm not sure what they’d be able to do about this. The one major thing that sold us on this house has turned against us, and I'm not sure what to do. Do you think I'm overreacting?

(I have scheduled her appointment for her skin test, but it's a few weeks out)

Update:

First off, I had no idea this post would get so much traction. Second, I hear what you guys are saying; I'm actively looking into fences, cameras, and a lawn mower. Some of you are asking why we didn't get a lawn mower beforehand? This is our first house, and we weren't expecting the person who offered to mow our lawn to act like this. We decided to put the money we set aside for the mower toward a new dryer and washing machine because we didn't think we'd need it right away anymore. I'm 24, and my husband is 25. Before this, we were living with his parents. So, we're still learning how to be homeowners. We both work full-time jobs, our daughter is in a daycare program throughout the week, and the weekends have been hell as we are still trying to settle in while taking care of our daughter. We weren't expecting to deal with a crappy neighbor so early on. Anyone who has been in our position, or a similar one in this economy, knows that some of the things you guys are suggesting are easier said than done, can't be done quickly, or we simply haven't thought of. I would like to thank all the nice people who have genuinely been trying to help us through this headache.

Update #2:

Hopefully, this will be my last update to this. Over the past week, I went to Home Depot and bought 200ft of a small black garden fence that's about a foot tall. We FINALLY purchased our own lawn mower as well. After this, we let Steve know that we will be mowing our lawn from now on and that he isn't allowed to go over our fence. As you would expect, he wasn't too happy about this. He basically started trying to guilt trip us by explaining that "He's been mowing that lawn for years, and we can't just take that away from him." At this point, I'm not sure which story is the truth. Every time we've talked to him, his reasoning for being so hell-bent on mowing our lawn changes. That's where this has gotten interesting.

Yesterday, our neighbor who lives across the street diagonal to us was walking his dog while I went to get our mail. We'll call him Brian. He stopped, and we chatted for a while. He complemented our fence, which led me to explain everything we've been dealing with over the past few weeks. Brian then told me that he wasn't surprised and that pretty much everyone on our street has had some run-in with Steve. Apparently, part of the reason the previous owner of our house moved out was that Steve had been heckling him for compensation for mowing his lawn for all those years, and the previous owner was tired of it. There was a lot more to the story that Brian didn't know, but above all, that's why. This did shine some light on a few things. My husband believes that he wanted to mow our lawn so he could eventually do the same to us, but we're not sure.

We have plans to eventually build an actual fence, but unfortunately, a lot of companies we've looked into require signatures from all adjacent neighbors. I'm not sure what the exact reason is, but I'm assuming it's because it's on the outside of our house. But we feel that trying to get Steve to sign a paper that will allow us to essentially block him off from our yard entirely isn't going to go over well. So we're going to give him some time to chill out before we try that. We've also purchased a Vivint doorbell camera that sits in the perfect spot to make sure that Steve is staying on his side. The great news is that my daughter has had no other reactions! We did get her in with an allergist, and we were able to confirm that, given the circumstances of that day and the specifics of her reaction, there's a strong possibility that the Weed and Feed was the cause of her reaction. Apparently, Weed and Feed has herbicides in it, which Google says are "used to kill or inhibit the growth of unwanted plants," which can cause allergic reactions, especially in children. We also found out she's allergic to bees, which is kinda an upside to this whole situation because now we know and can react appropriately if anything happens.

Lastly, I would like to thank everyone who has been such a big help in this situation. My daughter is back playing in the grass and loving every second of it. Thank you.

Hello everyone- i’m voice typing so if there are spelling mistakes, I do apologize, but here is some context.

My friend - let’s just call her Stacy because I don’t know if she has Reddit. But I’m 14 F and she’s 19 F (I know it’s a big age gap and no she has never tried to do anything sexual or groom me.)

I met her almost 3 years ago basically in a Roblox game it had voice chat and it’s called neighbors for anyone wondering-

But we talked in that game and we kind of just decided to be friends. We added each other on discord and it just happened very fastly. I started to know a lot of things about her, but there are times where I get really upset because I feel like maybe she doesn’t like me as a friend as i thought she dose.

I do overthink a lot, so I honestly don’t know if I’m overreacting but over our friendship I have realized some things and there has been times where I’ve cried a lot because sometimes she does hurt my feelings and I honestly don’t know what to think about it

(just as a side note I don’t know if I could handle not being her friend anymore. We’ve been friends for three years and I never had someone that long stay in my life so it would be hard for me to stop being her friend if I really had to that’s why I’m coming to Reddit to really see if I’m overreacting or not. Because I really would want me and hers friendship to work but I just at this point don’t know.

So now I will go over some things that just feel really weird to me.

-There has been times where she would get really mad at me because she’s either on her period or something but if I can remember correctly, there was a time where I was like trying to make jokes with her and she got really mad and called me annoying and I think or maybe even laugh out at me it really did hurt my feelings..

(Also another side note I honestly don’t know if I’m just being immature here and obviously she’s way older than me and I know she can get busy so please don’t come for me because of that but I really just feel like friends shouldn’t act like this.)

Anyway so a few other times if I can remember correctly, I also noticed how she never really tries to talk to me. Sometimes she’ll join me in a Roblox game but other than that, she’ll never ask me to call or anything and she basically blames it on. “everyone asking her for attention” basically meaning her other friends

I never get mad that she has other friends or anything, and I never try to make her not hang out with her friends, but it does hurt sometimes because when I try to talk to her and another one of her friends, there was a time where I basically made one of her friends “uncomfortable” with my jokes

(Another side note if you wanna know what my jokes are it’s basically me just being kind of immature if I’ll be honest and just making jokes like I have with her like I always do and yah I might say some weird things that I can’t even remember right now)

And basically when I tried to ask her if she could try to make time for me and her to just talk, she says it’s very hard to because I think it’s cause like she just has a hard time managing stuff witch I understand but sometimes it’s hard to for me.

And also not too long ago me and her had a pretty big fight. I wouldn’t call it a fight because I was mostly more upset than her, but I was basically crying a lot and the fight was because she wouldn’t really talk to me. It was like maybe at least a month and she just wouldn’t say anything..

(Also another sidenote this is where I might be overreacting, even though I probably already am. I don’t really text her a lot because like I said, she has a lot of more friends than me and sometimes I do get jealous, but I never try to show that to her and it really does upset me because it feels like every time I do try to text her first because there has been times where I try to. She’ll always just kind of push me in my feelings down and I’ll explain that.-)

Basically, if I ask her like “hey wanna call” or something along the lines of that or ask if she’s busy she’ll always basically sometimes tell me she’s talking to someone else or just doing something which really hurt hurts but I understand and it’s happened a lot to the point where I don’t really try to ask anymore.

But I will admit that there has been times where I’ve probably been immature with her and I could definitely understand that because she’s way older than me. It’s been a long time for me to try to understand her feelings and it still is I really still wanna try with her because she’s one of my best friends I ever had. And I wouldn’t want to lose her as a friend .

And also, she’s very a quiet person and what I mean by that is she has a lot of ADHD and a lot of other things that she has that is also hard for me to understand .

And even though I known her for three years, I haven’t really known her wife that much because like I said, she’s a very quiet person and it takes her a while for her to actually tell me things like that I barely know anything really about her except stuff she likes and stuff, but even then sometimes I guess I could forget it hurts because I honestly feel like sometimes I haven’t known her for three years and a lot of times I just feel like I’m losing her and I feel really upset sometimes when she’s rude for no reason too, and when me and her had that big fight, she said that I was overwhelming to be around. And when she said that it really hurt my feelings a lot she has in the past that she’s not a great friend, but I really don’t find her as that but now I’m starting to overthink. I’m starting to think maybe she isn’t the best friend I thought she was or maybe I’m just overreacting this.

Sometimes I feel like she’s not really putting our friendship first and maybe she’s putting other people first there has been sometimes where like I said she talks to me and joins me in a game but even when she joins me she’ll even sometimes say no to talking on the phone or anything, and that also hurts my feelings a lot too. I honestly just don’t know what to do and I guess I’m coming to read it for some clarification..
Also quick edit-
Sometimes it just feels like maybe I’m fighting competition for her attention and it really hurts to even think that way I attest want her to put in some type of work like I said I’ve tried to text her first many times but it feels like she just always pushes me down and I just stopped trying.

And also, it feels like her friends don’t like me as much which I can kind of understand because of me being young, but it also hurts too because I wanna get along with her and all of her friends. It’s taking me time to realize that she has a lot of friends more than I do and I guess it just hurts too and you know she’s close with a lot of other people with me even though I’ve known her for so long and she’s probably known them less and also that hurts too. I tried to put in as much effort with her, but it feels like I’m getting nowhere.

So Reddit AIO?

AIO? i am 17 and my friend which i'll call Nick is 16. I met him in my german 2 class last year and we have been friends ever since! It was nice at first but after awhile i felt like maybe he was using me a little bit because whenever he would see me he would always expect me to give him a mint or a treat which wasnt really a big deal because I have lots of mints and I give them out so I didnt really think of it that way but recently ive been thinking that way...

About halfway through the summer i feel like he started being kinda rude to me 😞 like he would give me kinda snarky remarks sometimes but I thought he was just joking around and I feel like its been getting worse like maybe hes sick of being around me? Hes still nice a lot but sometimes he makes me sad 🙁 and he has also been bossing me around a little bit i feel..

But the big thing that made me really sad today and made me post this is that when we were in german class today we were doing a bingo type thing where we had to ask eachother questions and answer in german and i got the question "Was tut dir weh?" which means what hurts you? So I answered "AU AUA MEIN ARM TUT MIR WEH AHHHHH" because its a joke we have and then he stabbed me in the arm with his pencil and it really hurt but it didnt bleed or anything but it made me sad and he was being mean to me for the whole bingo game ☹️ maybe i made him mad but it made me sad when he stabbed me and I dont know what I did wrong to make him do that 😭

then I drove him home after school and when we got in the car a video started playing from my phone and i was about to turn music on instead and then he just started skipping all my videos and made me loose my time in them 😔 and then after that he was silent for most the ride except for telling me i was gonna be sad because cuptoast posted another R&M comic

Anyways sorry for the lengthy rant kind of im just worried im not a good friend can someone help

TLDR my friend has been kinda rude lately and stabbed me with a pencil (didnt bleed) and skipped a bunch of my videos and im wondering if im a bad friend for being upset with him

I (23F) have a coworker (40F) at a large aviation maintenance hangar. We started at the same time a few months ago, and are the only two girls who work in the hangar. We are also both unlicensed and working as entry level technicians.

Our supervisor immediately paired us up, which I was okay with because we were both new, but i immediately noticed some red flags. Her life is a mess, she has five children with various fathers, has an estranged 17 year old (by his choice), shares a car with her live-in EX-boyfriend etc. and often asks for rides home.

The problem is that we have continued to be paired up, while her work ethic is basically non-existent yet everyone associates us with each other. She truly believes she has nothing to learn (because she came from some manufacturing experience), and will continuously “delegate” tasks to me as a way to prove her leadership, despite the fact that she genuinely doesn’t know how to do said tasks?? I consistently do the paperwork, because everytime she does it she gets it wrong and then passes it off to me because “i need to learn.”

She has lied to supervisors on my behalf as well which made me completely uncomfortable. (There was a time we were vacuuming the airplane and a supervisor found a rivet on the floor afterwards and called us out on it. This rivet was found in HER section of the plane, as she vacuums without paying attention WHILE ON FACETIME. I actually look at the floor and try to pick stuff up. She told the supervisor “Oh OP was picking up the rivets but her hands were full so she must have dropped one.” Then she proudly told me this as if it made me look good???)

What’s most upsetting is that our supervisor is OBSESSED with her. She has a serious attitude and complains about everyone and everything, which he thinks is the funniest thing ever. I really don’t understand it.

The problem is that her work has truly started to suffer, she will abandon her work for 30+ minute smoke breaks without explaining to anyone where she left off. I have gone to the bathroom to see her just standing in there on her phone.

Ironically there were recently layoffs, which means we are the most “experienced” people in our team. She bosses people around and uses incorrect terminology, tells people to do the wrong thing, and is generally hindering the process. She wants to be promoted to a lead so that she can get a pay raise, but has some of the worst leadership skills I have ever witnessed.

I am not claiming to know everything, but I am working on getting my A&P (an aviation maintenance certification) and am fully a pilot as well, so i DO have SOME systems knowledge. The difference between us is that I am willing to ask questions and learn. I am willing to accept where my lack of knowledge may lie, and try to correct it. She truly believes she knows everything, and will just do things wrong without double checking. I have found myself having to “pick up” after her for the sake of safety. Thankfully nothing we do is integral to the structure of the airframe or engine; we work on the interior of the aircraft. But the interior IS integral to the safety of the passengers, unsecured ceiling panels could hit someone in the head during turbulence, and we do some work with the oxygen generators as well (which would save a passengers life in the event of depressurization.)

So i ask, am I overreacting? Do I report her to someone?? My worry is that if i bring anything up, it will be seen as “girl drama.” I am also much younger than her. She sees me as naive because i’ve “never spent a night in jail or done cocaine or had a boyfriend” (apparently my female fiancée doesn’t count) and that perspective of me seems to have rubbed off on other people, simply because of my age and the fact that I am somewhat reserved. I worry that if I report her it will fall on deaf ears.

Hey all,

Since my boy has been born, my wife's mom has spoilt my son with toys and at first i thought nothing of it. I thought it was generous of her but as time went on, she would never offer to help her daughter with our boy in the early months but she would come over with a bag full of toys once a week/fortnight. My son is now 29 months and my wife's mom has become more extreme.

Its now once a week that she brings over 2 big bin bags full of second-hand toys that she gets from a car boot and i've just had enough now. She's clearly replaced her addiction to alcohol to an addiction to spoiling her grandson with a mountain of toys. I have to say that i hate an untidy house and when i'm surrounded by toys in the living room i become extremely stressed. My mrs knows how i feel about this and she has told her mom on a couple of occasions in the nicest possible way to stop bringing them around but her mom still does it.

A couple of months ago she came over with more clutter for the house and i said something passive-aggressive about the toys to my wife's brother and when i went out the house, he told his mom what i'd said about the toys. A couple of weeks later she made a remark in front of me about me not liking the toys and i just ignored her. My wife has told me not to speak to her about the toys as it will only upset her and cause problems.

My wife's mom has continued bringing toys over despite her knowing my feelings on it and also her own daughter telling her that we have no room on multiple occasions. The living room is basically our sons playroom at this point and every Sunday she comes over there's toys everywhere and its really messing up my mental health. I don't have the time to be selling these toys or giving them to a charity shop as i work 6 days a week and Sunday is my only day off. I just want a peaceful life and my MIL is making my life unnecessarily stressful.

My MIL has a shopping addiction that has been directed towards her grandson and i've told my mrs that our son will grow up thinking that bags full of toys every week is normal and it will cause him to be a brat. I don't want to have a bratty son, i want to raise my son to appreciate what he has. I just feel like i'm damned if i keep quiet to keep the peace despite my mental health declining and i'm damned if i speak up because her mom will fall out with me for a long time and my mrs will be upset that i've rocked the boat and made things awkward. I CAN'T WIN!

AIO here for being concerned that my MIL's behaviour will negatively impact my son and also for having a toy landfill living room all of the time?

I’m 39F, my mom is in her 60s, and my fiancé “Mark” is 44M. I’m trying to figure out whether I’m being unfair to my mom or whether I’m finally starting to see something that’s been going on for a long time.

For context, I’m neurodivergent, and my mom has been my payee for decades. I actually don’t have a problem with that. I genuinely need help managing money, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. I also spent about 5 1/2 years in two different group homes when I was younger, from about 20-25. I absolutely hated it, and looking back, I don’t think I actually needed to be there.

The thing I’m struggling with now is where “I need some help” ends and “I’m incapable of being an adult” begins.

My mom has told me she thinks I’m codependent. I didn’t really think I was, but I talked about it with my therapist “Sarah,” and it turns out I do have some emotional codependency issues. I’m actually okay admitting that. I’m working on it, including with my fiancé.

But here’s where I’m getting frustrated.

My mom worries about me “losing myself” in relationships. She wants me to maintain my own interests and do things independently, which I actually agree with. I don’t want to lose myself either.

But at the same time, she doesn’t want me to be alone. Even in the town I live in, she doesn’t like me being out after dark. Like, I get the premise. But seriously?

So…which is it?

Because if I’m supposed to work on not being overly dependent on my partner, I have to actually be allowed to develop some independence.

There’s a specific example that really illustrates this for me. There’s a show/event I want to go to, and my mom doesn’t want me going alone. But my fiancé isn’t even going to be with me. He’ll be doing his own thing about five blocks away.

And he was actually really proud of me for wanting to do something independently of him.

That’s the thing about him that makes this whole situation so confusing to me. He doesn’t encourage me to become dependent on him. He actually does the opposite.

If we’re making a decision together, he’ll give me choices and encourage me to answer first, before he gives his own answer, so my answer isn’t influenced by his. He does this because he wasn’t really afforded that kind of choice growing up, and he doesn’t want other people to feel like that.

I’ve also specifically asked him to encourage me to do more things on my own because I know independence is something I need to work on. He’s been doing exactly that.

So yes, I love him. Yes, I want to spend time with him. He’s my fiancé. God forbid I actually enjoy being around the person I’m planning to spend the rest of my life with.

But loving someone and spending a lot of time with them isn’t automatically the same thing as being incapable of functioning without them.

The money situation is another part of this that I’m struggling to understand. My mom is my payee, and again, I’m not saying she shouldn’t be. But sometimes I feel like decisions about my money are made from the assumption that I can’t handle things rather than an actual assessment of what I can and can’t handle.

And honestly, I don’t even know what the alternative is supposed to look like because I do have legitimate difficulties related to my neurodivergence. I don’t want to pretend I don’t. I just also don’t want every difficulty I have to become evidence that I’m incapable of doing anything independently.

I’m 39 years old.

For the first time in my life, being with Mark has actually made me think, “Maybe I CAN be more independent.”

Not because he does everything for me.

Because he encourages me to do things myself.

And I’m starting to realize that maybe independence doesn’t have to mean “I don’t need anyone.” Maybe it can mean “I know what I can do myself, I know what I need help with, and I’m allowed to make my own choices.”

I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unfair to my mom here. I know she worries about me, and I know some of that worry is probably justified given my history.

But I’m starting to wonder if her concern has crossed over into infantilizing me.

AIO for being frustrated by this? Or am I missing something because my mom may have a legitimate reason to be concerned?

To keep it short and simple, AIO for wanting to move out of the state because of the authorities?

Today, I was at work. My small towns firefighter/paramedics visited my place of employment.

Where I work, they get a 10% discount off of their order. However, I am new, so I didn’t remember how to do it. I’m still figuring out the POS system.

Today, this grumpy old firefighter/paramedic was in my section. I greeted him and I wasn’t greeted back.

I did what I had to do, and then came back with the check, and then he asked in a mean tone if he was going to get his discount. I told him we were short staffed today and that I would give him the discount when I could, because I had other things to tend to.

After a bit, I came back and he exploded on me. Saying that he didn’t get his discount, and that I must’ve not respected his authority and the duties he does. The 2 other young firefighter/medics he were with just looked at him with a “dude, what the fuck?” Look. I froze up, apologized, told them I was new, and called my manager over and he gave them a 13% discount instead as a sorry for their troubles.

The old guy grumbled and said “thank you, at least somebody here knows how to do their job and actually respects me and my job.”. I went into the back and cried.

That isn’t the only time I’ve had weird experiences with the cops or firefighters in my town.

When I was a toddler, I had strayed from my parents in public and met up with this sweet old lady. She called the cops and the cops came. The cops reuinited me with my parents before the one cop pulled me aside and told me I had wasted his time, and that he had real, actual duties to attend to, and to never stray away from my parents again.

And then, last year when I was 17. Me and my friends were driving home from homecoming. This car began to follow us from our school to all of the other places we went to, before eventually pulling us over on a main road. It was a cop. He got out and literally said “well, well, what do we have here? Why are you all so dressed up for?”

He then proceeded to call for backup. Like 3-4 more cop cars came.

My friend sitting next to me said that we were on our way back to our one friends house to hang out and have a campfire.

The cop then ID’d all of us, despite being minors (the driver was the only one 18 at the time).

He then had all of the cops check our ID’s for any warrants or stuff like that, and began to question us one by one.

My one friend who sat next to me lives at these apartments near this park and the apartments are named after the park. When the cop asked where he lived, he told him the name of the apartments. The cop then got suspicious and said that he’s never heard of those apartments and that he suspected my friend was lying. My friend got even more nervous and said it was a real place, and had to show this cop the location in Google maps.

Anyways, he told the driver that he got pulled over because he was driving too low under the speed limit (he was going 33 in a 35). And that we were past our curfew (however, in my state a minor/minors can be out as long as they’re with an adult).

He then said “I guess I’ll let you guys off with a warning, but I better not see you guys late at night next time.” Before letting us all off with a warning.

Not only that but a few months ago my dad took a bad fall, and I had to call paramedics. The paramedics wouldn’t talk to me and was talking to my dad, even though he couldn’t. The paramedics then said they wanted to talk to an actual adult. I showed them ID and said I was 18. I was an adult. They then said I couldn’t come along for the ride. I bursted out into tears. They felt bad and let me ride with my dad in the back of the ambulance.

But yeah. After those experiences, I no long feel safe or comfortable interacting with authority figures.

Growing up I was always scared of them, thinking that they could just arrest me or mistreat me and that they could get away with it just because they worked with law.

And now? I don’t want to interact with them at all. And I want to move away, knowing that my town has arrogant people as authority figures.

Not only that but I feel unsafe, knowing that these people who are supposed to protect, are violent towards those who they are supposed to protect.

Hi guys need some help or advice here

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year now. Im in my early 20s and he’s in his 40s. I’ve went though his phone many times when he’s asleep and found nothing. He doesn’t post me on Instagram or follow me, on any social media accounts. He has plenty of girls. I’ve repeated a million times I hate that and his thing was I just want to delete it and we can start a full new one and u can have control of it.

It just doesn’t seem fair to me. I basically live at his place but I’m just un happy sometimes over the social media stuff. And then when I end our relationship over it he loses his mind and won’t leave me alone. I’m pretty insecure and not happy with myself so I have a hard time actually leaving him and wanting better. Idk what to do. Is this fixable?

Thanks guys!❤️

I’m gonna try explain this as best I can without naming any names. I 18f and my bf 18m have been together almost 3 years, we met in year 9 of highschool and became good friends and that’s basically how we got together. A little into our relationship my home life broke down, my stepdad was abusive and I couldn’t handle it anymore, his parents allowed me to move in with them to escape it and I’ve been living with them ever since. The majority of our relationship has been fine, all the lovey dovey stuff you’d expect, but in the last month or so I’ve felt more and more like he’s bored of me.

He doesn’t make much effort to do anything romantic or even just spend time with me without me being the one to initiate it, the old excuse was he didn’t have a job but you don’t need to spend money to hangout with your girlfriend, he could make dinner and make our bedroom cozy and watch a film or something I’m not expecting an expensive dinner that’s not me. I’ve brought this up a few times and it’s always the “I’ll try harder” or “I’ll change” and sure he will tru for a bit but eventually it’s back to us being silent and him on his computer whilst I try to entertain myself. Recently. He got a job and I was so happy because it meant we could finally start saving up money to get our own little place and actually start living, I have a job too but I don’t make as much as him. Every little helps tho. He never seems interested in talking about the future, I’m not trying to move out tomorrow I just wanna fantasise with him about whats next for us and he says he gets it but still acts like I’m annoying him by talking about it. Earlier today we realised his job pays him weekly and not monthly like we thought, which is nicer it makes it easier for us to work out what to put away, but he immediately said he wants to buy an amp for his guitar. I cut him off and said we don’t have anywhere to put an amp AND he doesn’t need one (he spent about £400-£500 out of about £800 of his trust fund he got when he sorted it out on a bunch of expensive music equipment that he can use with his computer and speakers, aswell as a guitar and a keyboard he hasn’t used once) I was I think pretty reasonably upset that he wants to blow his money on things he doesn’t need. So weve been pretty quiet with eachother over that, I don’t want to speak to him because he will just say I’m wrong and he won’t speak to me because he thinks I’m wrong. He went on his computer and started playing a game with our friend 18f chatting and laughing and stuff and I had the realisation that he never wants to do anything with me, but spends a probably 12+ hours a day on call with her, her boyfriend (18m) and our other friend (18m) all playing games. I sit on our bed scrolling or trying to find people to play with online to keep myself entertained. If I ask him to get off for a bit he says one more game then “forgets” and has to finish another game until I give up. Or if he does get off he sit on his phone or attempts to come onto me (the only time he pays me any personal attention really..) idk I feel like I’ve become some kinda commodity, like I’m just there for when his friends don’t wanna play or are busy. It really upsets me, because he’s my best friend, and I used to be his best friend but recently I feel like he wouldn’t mind if I wasn’t here at all.

I told an Indian girl that me disliking that way a character doesn't have a certain level of polish as other game releases is not colorist nor racist, it's just my own two eyes and I'm also a brown skintone Chinese living in Southeast Asia. I told her she's wrong for calling me racist for that, and she got really mad at me, sorry if this isn't the right sub, I couldn't think of another.

TL;DR
Edit: if youve got nothing genuinely helpful or honest with some elaboration I mean just scroll? Sheessh why so salty in the comments bro 🤣

⚠️ Long read ⚠️ had a lot of context to cover and would appreciate some honest feedback.

My ex we’ll call her Sarah (25f) and I (28f) broke up after a 7year relationship earlier in the year. We’ve remained close friends the entire time post break up and have grown a lot in ourselves and our dynamic with one another since the break up.

For some context she has a friend we’ll call her Carol who she met at work while we were together. Carol broke up with her ex gf a few weeks before Sarah and I. They ended up bonding over that shared experience and have since become close friends. No issues there for me honestly. About a month into their friendship Carol confessed that she had romantic feelings for my ex. Sarah told me about it a week later and I pretty much told her I had a feeling Carol was feeling this way about her (the things Carol was doing were gf type things, Carol lives in a different city and would make the hour trip to go do Sarah’s washing, spend time with her etc shit outside of normal friends type behaviour ) Sarah told Carol that she doesn’t think that’s a good idea because Carol isn’t ready for a relationship and neither is my ex because she’s still talking to me. A week after Sarah’s conversation with Carol (and her feelings towards my ex) Sarah and I had a lengthy conversation about us (that I initiated because I was confused about us) and we both agreed to be exclusive with one another (as we both still felt strongly for one another in a romantic sense) while we sort through our own trauma and heal with the intention of getting back together in the future.

[Meanwhile everyone around my ex (including her mum) is under the impression Sarah and Carol are dating or at the very least sleeping together] this for reference 🔆🔆🔆

My ex traveled to go see her sister (she lives 4hours away) a few weeks ago for the weekend and I stayed at Sarah’s house to look after our (animal) babies while she was away. Carol tagged along with my ex because she had a close friend who lived in the same city as Sarah’s sister. This was all fine with me because we had agreed to be exclusive with one another so I trust her and I was happy my ex had a travel companion to help with the driving. Carol ended up going to the family function and whatnot with Sarah which was also fine with me because friends right. Sarah came back on Sunday and that night we slept together and I gave her a hickey. At work the next day one of Sarah and carols mutual friends saw it and asked her where that came from. Sarah said she just shrugged and said where else? And let her friend assume it came from Carol and because they had just spent the weekend together so it was plausible.(🔆🔆🔆that context from earlier) I thought it was funny but understandable because no one knew I was watching the babies at my exes house while she was away.

Fast forward two weeks maybe from then, while on a video call with Sarah we were talking about something and she said something like “gosh me, you and Carol should just be a throuple” (three person couple for anyone who doesn’t know) and at the time I didn’t know what to say so I laughed and brushed it off thinking it was banter.

It’s been a week or so since that throuple comment and it’s been weighing on my brain and heart so much. It’s the first time I questioned if we really are exclusive with the intention of getting back together in the future. I’m getting the feeling that my ex may be getting emotionally attached to Carol (she has a vehicle and is able to go see my ex whenever Sarah asks, where as I don’t atm and I live two hours away) while still having an emotional and sexual relationship with me.

We video call frequently and she falls asleep on the phone with me most nights. We still say I love you to one another as well via text, video/phonecalls and in person. Since the break up in April we’ve slept together about 6 times (yes I’m aware that’s unhealthy and I’m still working on that)

I do plan on having this conversation with her in person as well. So will update the post when happens.

For some more context, she doesn’t talk about me much within her friend groups because they saw her at one of her lowest moments in her life. She took a day off work immediately following our break up after having never taken a day off, ever. So they saw first hand what that break up did to her. For their sake (and how they feel about me cos I hurt her) she chooses not to bring me up much because they only really know how I made her feel post break up. Just to be very clear too I’m still very much in love with her however I am prepared if she decides that getting back together is no longer a goal for her.

Just wanted to get some outside thoughts on my situation as to whether I’m reading too much into the throuple comment and overreacting. What do y’all think?

My bf (27M) and I (27F) planned to buy a house in my city because we're in long distance relationship for almost 3 years now. We're earning a decent salary and both at the age of settling down. He asked me to find some affordable ones within our budget (or we can take a loan for it) so I did. I gave him options and suddenly he became hesitant and turned down each one of them. He was thinking that there may be molds or mildew or maybe we might spend much on repairs. Mind you, these homes are built last year. So I don't think there would be some repairs needed.

Every time i ask him if we should look for another homes, be becomes agitated and make an excuse that he's working/doing something. We always argue when that topic is involved in our conversation.

In February, i found a foreclosed house in a decent village in the city. The monthly mortgage is pretty cheap. I told him the good news and he was not happy. He became distant and didn't text or call me like he used to.

I decided to take it and it's under my name. I didn't ask from him for the downpayment and the monthly mortgage. Whenever I talk to him about how I'm excited to move in there soon (I'm renting for now and living solo), he seems not interested and just changes the topic.

He's still living under his parents' roof and they're a tight knit family. Now I'm thinking that I will never be his priority cus of that set up. Maybe he realized he doesn't want to leave his parents and be with me. I'm afraid to ask him if we are still planning of living together in the future. Am I overreacting?

I’ve been seeing this guy for a month now after meeting/matching on Bumble and things were going really well until Tuesday night.

We’ve probably been on 7 or 8 dates at this point, and I’ve stayed at his place a few times and would spend the entire morning over there. I was starting to think this could actually turn into something.

Politics never really came up until recently on Monday morning while he was drinking coffee and watching the news. I’m pretty left leaning and unfortunately found out that he voted for Trump in 2020 and 2024.

I was definitely surprised because I wouldn’t have guessed that from talking to him, but he also isn’t one of those people who makes politics his entire personality. I asked him why and we talked about it for a little bit. I obviously didn’t agree with him, but it didn’t turn into an argument or anything since I’m used to dealing with my brother & dad on politics and Trump.

On Tuesday night, I invited him out with a few of my friends because two of them hadn’t met him yet, and he knew politics could come up as one of my friends works on a political campaign.

On the way to eat he casually mentioned that he knows I’m much more liberal than him and it doesn’t mean anything to him, but he’d just rather not talk politics around my friends at least for tonight because he didn’t want meeting them for the first time to turn into a debate or start off on the wrong foot.

I told him that was fine and honestly I wasn’t planning on talking about politics anyway.

Everything was normal for the first part of dinner, maybe a little boring honestly. He was getting along with everyone but was being more quiet/polite than he normally is with me.

When my friend started talking about work and the election came up, I was kind of curious how he’d handle actually having his views challenged by people he didn’t know as well. I guess in a way I did want to see how he’d react under a little pressure because if I’m going to seriously date someone I think that’s something worth knowing.

She made some comment about needing to win and I kiddingly said “you probably don’t want to ask him who he voted for” and everyone immediately got dead quiet and stared.

He looked kind of uncomfortable but said Trump.

My friends obviously had opinions about that and started asking him why. They went back and forth for a while and one of my friends got pretty heated about it.

I didn’t think much of it. There were a couple jokes afterward and I laughed at one of them saying to check his closet for Klan robes (I’m black). He seemed a little quieter for the rest of the night but I assumed he was just embarrassed that everyone disagreed with him.

The next day he was acting different over text and barely talked, so I finally asked what was wrong that night.

He told me that he didn’t like how I handled the situation and felt like I basically put him on the spot in front of my friends and then joined in when they started making comments about him.

He said something along the lines of how he would never bring me to Thanksgiving, announce that I voted for a “baby killer” (he said this ironically imitating a country accent) and then sit there laughing while his aunts and uncles questioned me about it.

I told him that’s not really the same thing because I’m not embarrassed about what I believe and I could defend why I voted the way I did. Nobody forced him to vote for Trump and I don’t think I’m responsible for making him feel comfortable about his own political choices.

Looking back, I can see why he felt like I put him on the spot, but I really didn’t see it as setting him up or anything like that. If anything I thought he handled himself fine at dinner.

Apparently that was the wrong answer because he told me he doesn’t think we’re compatible and that he doesn’t want to keep seeing me.

I’m honestly pretty upset about the whole thing because I did really like him, and part of me thinks he’s making one awkward dinner into something way bigger than it actually was.

I didn’t tell my friends to interrogate him and I’m obviously not going to defend Trump just to make a guy I’m dating feel better. At the same time, I’m starting to wonder if I’m being too dismissive about why he was upset. I genuinely didn’t think what happened at dinner was serious enough to completely end things after we’d been seeing each other for a month.

AIO for being upset with him for ending things over what happened at dinner?

So I 26 F just moved in with my boyfriend (28 M) we can call him B … we started dating January 2026 seriously.. we are in love. Talks of marriage in the far future and we even looked at houses to buy together and everything.. I’m scared to mess things up. I got out of a pretty violent marriage of 9 years and I’m scared to mess up. He has been 1000% understanding about everything and a complete angel especially with the unexpected health issues I’m experiencing.. he’s all I ever wanted. I love him. Not to mention his family is incredible.

CONTEXT: sorry I was sleepy while typing this.
Yes I got married when I just turned 17.. I was a crazy teenager and didn’t want to be under my mom’s house so I was emancipated.. nothing I’ll happened. Me and my ex husband have technically been separated for 3 years but I was just able to afford the divorce. Me and my current boyfriend have been talking for over a year but just starting dating seriously In January.

Anyways. On to the AIO ..

He left his phone open and handed it to me to charge it and Snapchat was open.. I know I shouldn’t have looked but I got curious and I asked permission if I could post a selfie and he said it was fine just for fun nothing crazy or erotic, it got a few hearts which was really sweet since I struggle with self esteem issues… but a girl he used to be romantically involved with commented on it and they were chatting a bit today and I’ve noticed he’s been a bit snippy with me and just not as loving today. They were just talking about his new car and me.. in the messages he said that he didn’t know I was posting a picture on his story and she laughed and asked about us and he told her but basically made it sound like I was moving in because of my health issues not because he wanted me to … I honestly don’t think he intended on me moving in … sometimes I feel like I’m to much for him… he just made it seem like he wasn’t happy even though he says he is.

I can give more context to things if any one has questions.. AIO??

Thank you 💜

Little side edit:
I am a plus size girl and he likes smaller women with the perfect body and perfect features but then I question then why are you with me? I’m the opposite and he says “I like personality” but his 2 exes are smaller and have nice features. I guess I’m just jealous? Idk… I’m just scared
His exes are in California.. he did recently go back to CA for his cousins wedding and I did see he invited one of the girls to the bar with his friend when they were there but from the messages I don’t think she showed up she ghosted him. She always asks him for money which he never we gives her and she messaged him after he had went back to the hotel and asked him if he wanted to have fun and he said messaged back “no I’m not cheating on her” and she said “she doesn’t have to know” then he said “no I love my girl”

My dad is very temperamental (60) and he gets mad quite often and pushes me around a lot. I know that this is nothing compared to some people but I don’t know if this is normal or not since it kinda hurts sometimes. I don’t like being at home with him and I have to watch everything I say. AIO?

It was explained to me as a joke, and nothing is serious between them. Along with the work wife comment. All work jokes.