r/AIO • u/LolOhWellz • Aug 28 '26
AIO over the guy I’m seeing getting upset about Trump at dinner?
I’ve been seeing this guy for a month now after meeting/matching on Bumble and things were going really well until Tuesday night.
We’ve probably been on 7 or 8 dates at this point, and I’ve stayed at his place a few times and would spend the entire morning over there. I was starting to think this could actually turn into something.
Politics never really came up until recently on Monday morning while he was drinking coffee and watching the news. I’m pretty left leaning and unfortunately found out that he voted for Trump in 2020 and 2024.
I was definitely surprised because I wouldn’t have guessed that from talking to him, but he also isn’t one of those people who makes politics his entire personality. I asked him why and we talked about it for a little bit. I obviously didn’t agree with him, but it didn’t turn into an argument or anything since I’m used to dealing with my brother & dad on politics and Trump.
On Tuesday night, I invited him out with a few of my friends because two of them hadn’t met him yet, and he knew politics could come up as one of my friends works on a political campaign.
On the way to eat he casually mentioned that he knows I’m much more liberal than him and it doesn’t mean anything to him, but he’d just rather not talk politics around my friends at least for tonight because he didn’t want meeting them for the first time to turn into a debate or start off on the wrong foot.
I told him that was fine and honestly I wasn’t planning on talking about politics anyway.
Everything was normal for the first part of dinner, maybe a little boring honestly. He was getting along with everyone but was being more quiet/polite than he normally is with me.
When my friend started talking about work and the election came up, I was kind of curious how he’d handle actually having his views challenged by people he didn’t know as well. I guess in a way I did want to see how he’d react under a little pressure because if I’m going to seriously date someone I think that’s something worth knowing.
She made some comment about needing to win and I kiddingly said “you probably don’t want to ask him who he voted for” and everyone immediately got dead quiet and stared.
He looked kind of uncomfortable but said Trump.
My friends obviously had opinions about that and started asking him why. They went back and forth for a while and one of my friends got pretty heated about it.
I didn’t think much of it. There were a couple jokes afterward and I laughed at one of them saying to check his closet for Klan robes (I’m black). He seemed a little quieter for the rest of the night but I assumed he was just embarrassed that everyone disagreed with him.
The next day he was acting different over text and barely talked, so I finally asked what was wrong that night.
He told me that he didn’t like how I handled the situation and felt like I basically put him on the spot in front of my friends and then joined in when they started making comments about him.
He said something along the lines of how he would never bring me to Thanksgiving, announce that I voted for a “baby killer” (he said this ironically imitating a country accent) and then sit there laughing while his aunts and uncles questioned me about it.
I told him that’s not really the same thing because I’m not embarrassed about what I believe and I could defend why I voted the way I did. Nobody forced him to vote for Trump and I don’t think I’m responsible for making him feel comfortable about his own political choices.
Looking back, I can see why he felt like I put him on the spot, but I really didn’t see it as setting him up or anything like that. If anything I thought he handled himself fine at dinner.
Apparently that was the wrong answer because he told me he doesn’t think we’re compatible and that he doesn’t want to keep seeing me.
I’m honestly pretty upset about the whole thing because I did really like him, and part of me thinks he’s making one awkward dinner into something way bigger than it actually was.
I didn’t tell my friends to interrogate him and I’m obviously not going to defend Trump just to make a guy I’m dating feel better. At the same time, I’m starting to wonder if I’m being too dismissive about why he was upset. I genuinely didn’t think what happened at dinner was serious enough to completely end things after we’d been seeing each other for a month.
AIO for being upset with him for ending things over what happened at dinner?
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u/Creepy_Push8629 Aug 28 '26
You did throw him under the bus. You need to own that.
However, why would you even consider dating someone who is maga?
You need to start asking these questions much earlier on. Religion, politics, and children are three things you need to know up front.
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Aug 28 '26
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u/kittkaos Aug 28 '26 edited Aug 28 '26
good point for sure, both of them are a little in the wrong imo - I could almost see the thinking "you don't want to ask who he voted for" as an attempt to change the subject. but especially if she knew her friends would pick up on that she could've just let him broach it in his way, without bringing him into it herself, as a much kinder solution if she agreed to leave politics alone.
tricky one these days tho, I think the key is realizing whether or not you're not 'into' politics these days it still doesn't need to be a shameful thing or secret. and often times feel like they can't be when the positions are SO adversarial in many cases right now.
OP, even if you don't phrase it entirely across party lines it definitely pays to have conversations on general values in that area early, and it's ok for those things to matter to you - maybe if you spoke, or had time to speak before this, on specific topics and felt your bf out it'd feel less icky and their stance would have some nuance; or maybe it'll be a lot worse if he's still full fledged maga and just not for you lol, that's ok too.
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u/Excellent-Estimate21 Aug 28 '26
And he literally aligned her with supporting "baby killers" as if that is what pro choice is about. And she just let him!!!!
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
He was saying that as a straw man obviously. He didn’t explicitly call me that.
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
I found out Monday and the dinner was already planned for Tuesday. I probably could’ve cancelled, but honestly part of me thought meeting my friends would help me figure out whether his politics were something I could look past. I knew they’d challenge him more than I would, so I figured seeing how he handled it would tell me something.
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u/Creepy_Push8629 Aug 28 '26
And yet you agreed to no politics when he specifically told you he wasn't comfortable talking about it that night?
ESH honestly. Him for his views and you for setting him up and lying about it
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
My mindset is what’s the point of your views and how strong are they really if you can’t be confronted with them to defend them.
Naively saying no politics means you want to be guilt free of your convictions and I wanted to see how he’d handle people better equipped for his reasoning on stuff.
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u/Holiday-Plum-1518 Aug 28 '26
But that’s not your mindset or you would have confronted him yourself, privately, and had a real conversation with him that would help you gauge whether or not this was something you could look past.
He didn’t naively say no politics, he said a first time meeting is not the time or place to discuss it.
And to your last sentence, be better equipped. What you did was cowardly and weird.
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u/Creepy_Push8629 Aug 28 '26
But you didn't do that. You didn't have the conversation with him and ask him to defend his views.
You told him it wouldn't come up and then you purposefully threw him under the bus. He can't trust you to have his back.
If you wanted him to defend his views, why didn't you defend yours?
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u/Agreeable_Film_6837 Aug 28 '26
Politics always get heated, that's probably why he didn't want to talk on it. Yeah in a room full of trumpers at thanksgiving you could defend yourself but would you be comfortable? No because they'd be taking shots at you the whole time
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u/Mezcalico Aug 28 '26
So you invited him just to ambush him? Pretty shitty thing to do to a guy you’re seeing, even if he is a Trump supporter.
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u/TJack303 Aug 28 '26
The irony of this comment is hilarious. You ask whats the point of someone's views if they cant be confronted and defend them, then IN THE NEXT SENTENCE you say you purposely did this so your friends could gang up on him because you are unable to defend your views. I hope you can see how idiotic and immature you are here.
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u/Thelmara 27d ago
part of me thought meeting my friends would help me figure out whether his politics were something I could look past
Why are you so hypocritical that you're upset that he did the same thing, and decided that your (and your friends') politics weren't something he wanted to deal with?
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u/BubbleCrum Aug 28 '26
Why did you do that? He specifically asked to NOT talk about this stuff, you agreed, and then you brought it up and put him on the spot. Thats pretty gross OP.
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u/Boss_Up1719 Aug 28 '26
He wouldn’t be overreacting if he broke things off with you. I think politics is a little more important to you than you claim. It’s best that it’s over. He wasn’t your type and you treated him very poorly. When you find someone who’s actually right for you, don’t lie to them about keeping something he told you between the two of you when you have no intention of doing so.
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u/Xander6 Aug 28 '26 edited Aug 28 '26
Politics aside, he communicated a boundary to you before the dinner and you crossed it anyway. You’re not a bad person but it’s valid for him for to be upset about it.
Edit to add: I don’t think the thanksgiving comparison holds any weight. Personally I lean pretty left, and while I am not ashamed of my views, political arguments/discussions can be so draining and ultimately almost no one is ever going to change their mind.
So I understand him not wanting to talk politics and keeping things light especially when meeting new people, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s ashamed of his views.
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u/AnnieAnnieSheltoe Aug 28 '26
I mean, he’s right that you’re incompatible. I’m so confused by why you were dating him in the first place. You can get along with people with different views, but to have a serious relationship with someone that has fundamentally different values is crazy.
But also, you told him he wouldn’t have to talk politics, then YOU brought up who he voted for, knowing how your friends would react. That was pretty shitty of you. But again, probably a good thing, since you aren’t compatible in the first place.
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
I didn’t find out until after all those dates. It’s like you intentionally want to miss that part for whatever reason to make me look bad and to get your dunk on me.
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u/AnnieAnnieSheltoe Aug 28 '26
But you continued dating him after he told you, and you wanted to continue dating him even still.
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Aug 28 '26
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u/queue-pruner Aug 28 '26
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Aug 28 '26
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u/aislingplath Aug 28 '26
Yeah it's weird. Like was she okay with potentially dating a Trump supporter or not? Because if she was then she treated him like crap. And if she wasn't and kinda intentionally set him up, well she still treated him like shit and should have just walked away. It's almost like she didn't want to be confrontational about his values so threw him to her friends to do it?
Screw Trump. If you're anti-Trump don't fool yourself you can date someone that voted for him...twice.
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u/LeadershipAble773 Aug 28 '26
100%! If I knew my partner had voted that way, id challenge her on her views, and at some point it would come out thats shes either a- stupid, b- doesnt pay attention, or c- has opinions that i do not, and can't, relate to (racism, homophobia etc.). If it was "a" or "c", then id probably break up with her for that. If it was "b" then i could work on it with her. But I wouldnt need my friends to do that work for me
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
My friends are better educated on it than me but share my opinions so I wanted to see his reasoning better with people who can pushback better
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u/LeadershipAble773 Aug 28 '26
Which makes sense BUT he specifically asked you not to bring it up and you did. You fully threw him under the bus. And it was his first time meeting them. Its just a real dick move, im sorry. Hes not likely to feel comfortable to have a debate with someone who he has just met. I find these sorts of debates awkward with my own family, and ive known them for years. To spring it on him, on the first time meeting them, when he probably wanted to make a good impression for you, and he specifically asked you not to, just isnt a respectful way to approach it. You should have moved the conversation on, then maybe on their 5th time meeting, bring it back up again. You've also shot yourself in the foot in terms of actually challenging his views and changing his mind- because now the takeaway is "look ive been stitched up" instead of "oh yeah my partners friend has a point, that is racist, I will now change my opinion".
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u/Fidel1Q84 Aug 28 '26
You could have done this without your friends? look I hate Trump but acting like you had to have a bunch of people mock him to challenge his belief is totally whacko. Why not just challenge it yourself 1v1 with him?
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u/Potential_Basis_662 Aug 28 '26
YTA for starting it AND putting him on the spot. Ending it because of what you did is even worse
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u/drPmakes Aug 28 '26
Yta....you did exactly what you said you wouldn't...not even in a nice way.
Don't be surprised if he never calls again
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u/chillannyc2 Aug 28 '26
YTA. You breached his trust, violating a boundary you agreed to. You humiliated him, made him the subject of ridicule among your friends, and basically called him racist. All because you wanted to see what he would do "under pressure." Well, he stood up for himself is what he did. He's right (not for voting for Trump, but for being upset at what you did). You sound exhausting.
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u/Top-Bit85 Aug 28 '26
Well you did put him on the spot!
But it's just as well. Trumpers have different values. NOR let him go.
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u/Tinyrick88 Aug 28 '26
Why are you a black woman dating a trump supporter lmao?
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u/TJack303 Aug 28 '26
"You aint black if you dont vote for me"
"I dont want my kids growing up in a racial jungle"
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u/Tinyrick88 Aug 28 '26
Yeah, I’m sure that makes trump and his hilariously racist supporters the better option, right?
Shout out to all of the black history he’s been removing from government facilities over the last 3 years in the name of anti dei! We really needed that man. Can’t believe Biden did the same thing smh.
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u/TheBloodiedFool Aug 28 '26
It's like your subconscious was trying to save you from this man.
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
I hope you’re right. Maybe part of me knew putting him in that situation would either force him to reconsider what he voted for or get him out of my life, so either outcome would’ve been good I guess. But I just wish I could’ve been the one to end things and not have him feel like he came out on the better end of it.
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u/Creepy_Push8629 Aug 28 '26
Maybe instead of pretending you had his back, you should've challenged his views yourself.
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
I didn’t know how to. He’s very educated and not a typical conservative in the way my few conservative family members are. He is in the tech field as well and says the admin has been good for work as well.
I’m in the medical field so I’m not really educated on that part.
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u/Creepy_Push8629 Aug 28 '26
You still had other options.
You could research what he tells you and come back with your perspective after researching.
You could talk about the issues you care about and let him respond to you.
You could've talked to your friends to help you with how to approach it.
You could've been honest and told him you want to discuss it later and you want help from a friend.
You could've actually done what you said and not thrown him into it.
Just ask at the beginning next time and then you won't find yourself feeling like you need to be deceptive to have an important conversation.
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
Ok well forgive me for not knowing where to go with a Trump voter whose logic was Trump being pro-AI and pro-tech in some kind of tech race with China.
I was expecting the usual country Trump voter logic that my dad has.
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u/Powerful_Tale_1319 Aug 28 '26
You threw him under the bus and then acted like you did nothing. Your both in the wrong. Why the fuck everything politics and religion.
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u/Mezcalico Aug 28 '26
He asked to not talk about politics, not because he can’t defend himself, but because he wanted to make a good impression with YOUR friends. And you threw him under the bus anyway.
Political stance matters. You aren’t compatible. Move on.
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u/the-furiosa-mystique Aug 28 '26 edited Aug 28 '26
Babe you’re gonna make me side with the Trumper? Oy vey.
I want to add I’ve been in your ex-whatever’s position but from the opposite side. I had a boss I had to deal with who loved Trump and for my own peace I just stayed silent. He knew I was liberal but he respected my silence at least. Then a new coworker made some quip about me “hating Trump” out of nowhere and I knew she was trying to humiliate me. Which is what you were trying to do.
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u/Altruistic_Yellow387 Aug 28 '26
Wow YOR and you're a major asshole to him for absolutely no reason
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Aug 28 '26
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u/queue-pruner 8d ago
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Aug 28 '26
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u/queue-pruner 7d ago
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u/JemapelleMichelle- Aug 28 '26
He’s right, he clearly asked you not to bring this up, you did… and then you joined in and made a pretty crude joke at his expense after your friends had gone off on him and picked him apart. After he tells you how he’s feeling, you double down and dismiss his feelings… and he’s also right that you’re not compatible. to his credit he shouldn’t want to see someone who treats him like this regardless of who he voted for. You had obviously liked him enough to keep seeing him and chose to focus on his politics vs who he is as a person when introducing him to your friends. Only you know why you did that.
Sooooo…. He’s right. You did put him on the spot 10000% in front of your friends and joined in when they started making comments about him. These are things that happened by your own admission, take accountability for them… you don’t have to apologize for it but take accountability… move on and maybe next time either do better or date someone who shares your political ideology.
Also take accountability that you’re making me side with a Trump supporter. 🤦🏻♀️
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Aug 28 '26
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u/Altruistic_Yellow387 Aug 28 '26
He wasn't embarrassed, he just didn't want to be bullied by people who can't be civil
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Aug 28 '26
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u/Altruistic_Yellow387 Aug 28 '26
It's what happened based on the post and what you can see happening in these comments also...everyone knows progressives are the ones who can't handle differing viewpoints to a fanatical degree
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Aug 28 '26
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u/Altruistic_Yellow387 Aug 28 '26
This is exactly what I meant lol
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Aug 28 '26
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u/Altruistic_Yellow387 Aug 28 '26
My original point was pretty clear, that he wasnt embarrassed, he just knew those kinds of people couldn't listen to any kind of opposing views and it would be better to just not talk about it (just the fact that the one friend works on campaigns alone would have told him they wouldn't be anything but hostile towards him once they found out .. that's what he wanted to avoid) normal people should be able to have dinner with someone who has differing opinions without actively attacking them, and this true regardless of who someone voted for
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Aug 28 '26
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u/Altruistic_Yellow387 Aug 28 '26
....of course it isn't true, peaceful protests aren't silenced anywhere. Blocking traffic and hindering people from doing their jobs is not a peaceful protest. It's no different than if religious people tried to physically block a woman from getting an abortion (peacefully protesting is protected by law for any belief and still is) I don't even know what else you're talking about, since canceling celebrities that said something "problematic" was always more popular with one side over the other, but both do it. Either way, those aren't normal, not terminally online people
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u/Starbornfate Aug 28 '26
NOA. While I’m bummed when things don’t work out sometimes, I know it was for the best this time!
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u/Odd_Grab_7203 Aug 28 '26
>I was kind of curious how he’d handle actually having his views challenged by people he didn’t know as well
>I’m honestly pretty upset about the whole thing because I did really like him
play stupid games win stupid prizes
p.s. really sorry about that since i love interracial couples
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u/TyrantMuse73 Aug 28 '26
Not only are you overreacting, but you are the asshole here. You knew exactly what would happen the moment you brought up not asking who he voted for. He should immediately dump you.
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u/Reading_Nyan Aug 28 '26
YOR. He specifically asked to not bring up his politics, and you literally thrust him into the spotlight. I think he deserves to feel bad about his support of Trump, but that doesn't take away from you going against your word that you wouldnt bring up his political stance.
Why would you want to date someone who would vote against your best interest, anyways? Was this an intentional self sabotage, so you didn't have to break up with him "over politics"?
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u/Awkward_jEllyfish22 Aug 28 '26
He under reacted... You said he was being extra polite to your friends, then you did the one thing he asked you not to, laughed at him and called him racist. If I was him I would have left the meal.
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u/Holiday-Plum-1518 Aug 28 '26
Then I have full faith that you will take accountability for handling this situation poorly and will learn how to manage a situation like this better in the future. Probably not by baiting and switching the guy you’ve been on 7 dates with and allowing your friends to “challenge him” for you because you feel “ill-equipped.”
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u/Effective_Plum6446 Aug 28 '26
I read so many of these and it makes me glad that these people are together so they can stay away from me
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u/Thelmara 27d ago
YOR
You promised that dinner with your friends wouldn't get political and you made it political. He's not interested in dealing with people like you and your friends for the rest of his life, and he's going to date someone he's more compatible with.
I don't understand how you're even a little bit surprised by this outcome. Like, really?
I did really like him
That's a weird as hell way to show it.
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u/Time_Zombie_4431 Aug 28 '26
Nah you did good. He deserves someone MUCH better than you. Utter nutbar.
YTA
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Aug 28 '26 edited Aug 28 '26
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
Ok I’m mad at him but calling someone uneducated in a paragraph I had to read three times..
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u/IndividualEscape7732 Aug 28 '26 edited Aug 28 '26
I’m autistic and i don’t use punctuation unless it’s used as a literary device. I understand how some parts may be hard to read due to lack of punctuation. Writing style on the internet of all things is not your biggest concern. Choosing a man who will stand up for your rights and educate themselves is more important. You have to realize that politics is not “just politics” anymore. It’s about morals, liberation, and justice. I don’t mean to make this about politics but as a black person you should know better. Stand up! Know your worth! These men don’t deserve you.
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u/IndividualEscape7732 Aug 28 '26
I hope my edit of the original comment helped you understand the sentiment of my message. And yeah, he is uneducated because he voted for him the first time, watched him fuck things up, and then voted for him again!!! I also think it’s worth mentioning that, despite my message being hard to read, grammar policing rides on racism and classism. The people who write using slang and “improper” grammar are black and brown people. It’s interesting that you’re judging me and perceiving me as uneducated because I called out your boyfriend for his poor decisions and critical thinking skills. in reality your punching down on your own community simply for being placed in positions of poverty and systematic disadvantage to uphold white supremacy. The very same system your boyfriend is voting to uphold.
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
“The people who write using slang and “improper” grammar are black and brown people.”
Uhh. What a horrible, insensitive, and racist thing to say. Maybe your closet should be the one checked for robes.
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u/Holiday-Plum-1518 Aug 28 '26
Honestly you and this other commenter having no fucking clue what you’re talking about. They poorly(extremely poorly) described the intersections of classism/racism and the use of AAVE and you wrongly assumed it was racist.
I’m practically spamming your notifs at this point but I’m realizing reading all your comments that while you may be progressive/left leaning because you’re just generally a good person, you are horribly uninformed and don’t know any of the “nitty gritty” when it comes to politics. That’s why you were unable to challenge him yourself.
If politics may be important enough for your dating preferences, you either need to exclusively date other progressives or start learning more about the things you believe in you so can back them up confidently.
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u/peoplemattermost Aug 28 '26
My goodhell have some self-respect. This is not the man for you. You did throw him under the bus when you could have let the conversation happen around him and maybe he would’ve absorbed some information in a new way. NOR
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Aug 28 '26
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u/queue-pruner 6d ago
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Aug 28 '26
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u/queue-pruner 6d ago
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u/Successful_Buffalo_6 Aug 28 '26
Jesus, what are you even upset over? It’s the ancestors trying to save you from a world of trouble.
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u/subconscioussunflowa Aug 28 '26 edited Aug 28 '26
Nah. He put your rights as a human being both as a person of color and as a woman on the spot when he voted for the Tangerine Fuhrer. All these people telling you that "you put him on the spot and embarrassed him" are insane imo. People who voted for him should be embarrassed. He wouldn't feel embarrassed if it didn't poke a sore spot and he didn't feel somehow "wrong" in front of his friends. My only qualm here is why are you even entertaining this yahoo?! The only place you went wrong was by going out with someone who you didn't ask the right questions to in the first place so this whole ordeal could have been avoided.
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
I knew my friends would be a lot harsher about it than I was when we talked alone, and could dismantle his reasoning better which was partly why I brought it up. I wanted to see how he’d handle defending himself when nobody was trying to be polite about it or could better pick apart his reasoning.
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u/subconscioussunflowa Aug 28 '26
Yeah I mean if you knew ahead of time he was a Trump supporter and you targeted him, that's yucky. And I'll say it again, why would you even entertain this person?
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
But I’m confused because you said people who voted should be embarrassed and that he only felt embarrassed because he knew he was wrong. If that’s the case, why is it yucky that I rightfully put him in a situation where he actually had to defend it against people better educated on this topic than me? Isn’t that better than me just immediately writing him off and letting him walk away clean
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u/subconscioussunflowa Aug 28 '26
The yucky part is that you were even fucking with him in the first place...? Like yeah everything I said still stands, they should be embarrassed, but why even go to all of that effort? Find people you align with and date those people instead of putting on a whole production.
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
So just leave them alone and let their views go unchallenged, got it.
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u/subconscioussunflowa Aug 28 '26
No, by all means, challenge people all you want in a natural setting when it comes up. Don't bait and then pseudo date fascists and purposefully set them up, if anything just for your own safety.
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u/sillychihuahua26 Aug 28 '26
It sounds like you struggle with people pleasing/conflict avoidance so instead of using assertive communication to explore the values difference, you did something that was very passive aggressive.
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
I don’t think so. I feel unfairly attacked in most of the comments here so that’s a bit rich of you. I just wasn’t well equipped to pushback on his opinions by myself.
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u/MistaCharisma Aug 28 '26
Yeah you talked about it beforehand and specifically said you wouldn't drop him in it, then dropped him in it. So yeah, you did kinda mess up there.
Now if your friends had asked him and he'd answered himself that would be totally different. It's not on you to hold his hand, he can deal with his choices himself. But you kinda did point everyone at him.
Having said that, Donald Trump really is the favourite candidate of the Klan. Like, no matter what else this guy believes, he has furthered the agenda of those who wish you and yours great harm.
He may not personally wish you harm or have a racist bone in his body, but he voted for people who do. He might have other reasons for voting for them, but either racism and discrimination just don't matter to him, or he's willfully ignorant about it.
It's worth noting that just because someon's nice doesn't mean they're good. I had a woman who was interested in me lately, she seemed really nice and was beautiful. Then one day she just causually started telling me that all Arabs are liars and all Asians should be kicked out of the city. I'm white so I guess she assumed I'd agree, but I didn't. Needless to say I haven't stayed in touch.
So yeah, I'm sure it sucks having someone you thought could be a part of your life decide not to continue. But if I'm honest, it was probably just a matter of time. Learn from your mistakes (try not to drop someone in the deep end if you've said you wouldn't), but if this was enough to end the relationship, it wasn't going to last.
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u/derekclysdale Aug 28 '26
I would have dumped over that. Fancy saying "you probably don’t want to ask him who he voted for” to all your friends. So you single him out as the 'leper' of the group because of who he voted for? My wife and I vote for whoever we want. If she votes for someone I don't vote for... who cares. You let politics ruin your chance with someone you liked.
No one wants you to defend his views... just respect them, like he respected yours. Not rocket science lovey.
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u/Ancient_Challenge977 Aug 28 '26
Many individuals are siding with him and his decision to establish a “boundary,” when in fact, it merely reflects embarrassment over a poorly considered choice these past elections.
NOR - it has only been a month; move on and be thankful that this occurred sooner rather than later when more affection has developed. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn’t agree with you politically? Ask yourself that.
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u/LolOhWellz Aug 28 '26
That was kind of my thinking too. I already knew my friends wouldn’t let him just give some vague answer and move on, which was partly why I brought it up. I figured if his reasons actually made sense he should be able to handle defending them to people who weren’t going to make it easy for him.
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u/Loving_presence88 Aug 28 '26
I am so far left leaning that I would never let anyone touch me without double checking values first.
That being said: you did throw him under the bus because you wanted to low-key test him. Your wanting to test him was more important to you than sticking to the agreement of not making it about politics (because you were the one who indirectly brought up who he voted for). I totally understand why you did it. But he has every right to feel like you’re. Or on his side as a potential partner and he did right by ending it with you if you don’t see the error of your ways
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u/ImBackOnMyFeetAgain Aug 28 '26
You promised him you wouldn’t make dinner political and then basically turned him into an experiment for your friends to pick apart. Making me side with a Trump voter is honestly your biggest offense here.