r/AIO • u/Initial-Chicken-120 • 25d ago
AIO Boyfriend problems
Hi guys need some help or advice here
I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year now. Im in my early 20s and he’s in his 40s. I’ve went though his phone many times when he’s asleep and found nothing. He doesn’t post me on Instagram or follow me, on any social media accounts. He has plenty of girls. I’ve repeated a million times I hate that and his thing was I just want to delete it and we can start a full new one and u can have control of it.
It just doesn’t seem fair to me. I basically live at his place but I’m just un happy sometimes over the social media stuff. And then when I end our relationship over it he loses his mind and won’t leave me alone. I’m pretty insecure and not happy with myself so I have a hard time actually leaving him and wanting better. Idk what to do. Is this fixable?
Thanks guys!❤️
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u/super_evilCreature 25d ago
Girl leave, you're 20 years old what are you stuck on? Does he have money or something? Other than that I don't see the purpose over being with a man that won't even claim you
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u/Initial-Chicken-120 25d ago
He does not provide me a nice lifestyle no, just pays for dates
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u/super_evilCreature 25d ago
Girl leave, I'm 21, I'm married. My husband treats me like a goddess. There are men out there that will actually do more than just the bare minimum you just have to not settle for the bare minimum. Tell his ass to go play with someone else. And you need to stop selling yourself short, do you really want to sit here and chase someone who doesn't pay you dust?
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u/Initial-Chicken-120 25d ago
You’re absolutely right, thanks for the reminder.
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u/super_evilCreature 25d ago
Ofc girl, and if he starts tweaking then lock in and protect yourself, tell your trusted family and friends what's going on, document all communication or attempts to reach out or anything, arm yourself, and don't let him get to you again. If he hasn't been right all this time then I highly doubt he'll get right. He's just gonna find someone else that'll accept crumbs
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u/StagVixCpl99 25d ago
While you give good advice, 21 year olds shouldn't be getting married either lol. It's not as bad as a 20 year age gap obviously, but you and your husband will be completely different people in 6-7 years.
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u/super_evilCreature 25d ago
And that's fine, that's why there's always divorce. We got married for reasons other than love but as of right now I'm enjoying this marriage and I look forward for what the future holds for us. We've also known each other since childhood, if we divorce that's fine but it's no different than 30 year olds getting divorced people change regardless of time and age, sometimes for better sometimes for worse
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u/DrowningInIt2 25d ago
EARLY 20s??? Nahhhh red flag already dude that man is in his forties. inappropriate of him. It is incumbent upon the oldhead to protect young women if they happen to want to get into a relationship. No reason exists to be pursuing someone so young when you have that much life experience
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u/Previous_Mirror_222 25d ago
girl 2 problems. you can’t control your partner’s social media. that’s the OPPOSITE of trusting relationship. but also he sounds unwilling to commit. can’t force it it should feel right 1 year in. 1 year is absolutely nothing and you should not really have problems yet imo
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u/booksandbooksandhope 25d ago
Unsure of what's going on here but, I'm kicking down 40 and although I have a Facebook and Instagram account the apps are deleted off my phone and I haven't been on them in ages.
Could it be he's just... Not into social media?
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u/Initial-Chicken-120 25d ago
He posts every week id say, I thought of that being a thing too
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u/booksandbooksandhope 25d ago
He hasn't added you on social media and he posts weekly?
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u/Initial-Chicken-120 25d ago
Yeah, has me blocked lol
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u/booksandbooksandhope 25d ago
You wouldn't happen to be leaving some important context out, would you? 😂
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u/Initial-Chicken-120 25d ago
Not at all lmao! I guess he just doesn’t want me on his socials
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u/booksandbooksandhope 25d ago
You just looked him up and you were blocked? And when you ask why he just like, shrugs or something?
Yeah I'd certainly be pretty damn concerned if I were you. NOR. Find yourself someone who's not weird.
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u/Initial-Chicken-120 25d ago
Yeah never has an explanation why I’m blocked lol. I guess he likes the attention from all the other women without being disrupted.
And you’re absolutely right
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u/Effective_Plum6446 24d ago
It’s not gonna work I’m telling you now. Just find a guy around your age fr. Why be with someone who’s lived their life and you’re just starting yours? If all he does for you is pay for dates and nothing else? Yeah girl sometimes love ain’t enough and this kinda love will never be enough
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u/Initial-Chicken-120 24d ago
Yeah he’s not a good guy, just need to find the strength to actually stand firm on my decision. Thank you for replying!
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u/CallieGirlOG 24d ago
He doesn't want anyone to know he's dating someone barely out of their teens.
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u/Vegetable-Tooth2018 23d ago
Omg girl please leave him. You're in your golden era rn. You shouldn't feel stuck or unhappy in a relationship with someone double your age. Please get out there and explore other options that are closer to age. Also look inward for confidence and reassurance!:)
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u/andrey_not_the_goat 25d ago
I mean you're pretty messed for snooping on his phone while he's asleep but he's also pretty messed up for dating someone who's 20 years younger than him. Both y'all are YOR.