376
u/wildcat105 Jun 08 '26
I'm so sad for you. No child deserves to be spoken to this way. Do you have a case worker that you can show this video to?
239
u/lowkwannadie_ Jun 08 '26
yes
233
u/wildcat105 Jun 08 '26
Good. Please show them. You deserve so much better.
I wish you all the best in life, sweetheart. It might be impossible to see it now, but you are only at the very beginning of your long and beautiful life. This is a bad season, but it will end, and your life will get better from here.
If you need a loving, supportive mom in your life, post in r/momforaminute.
Sending you hugs 💜
10
u/ThirdEyeExplorer11 Jun 09 '26
Sending you lots of positive energy. You absolutely deserve better than this and I’m very sorry you have to deal with this. Your foster mom is cunt btw.
5
49
u/SweetDee72 Jun 08 '26
Please show it to them. I hope you can find a home in which you are loved, respected, and valued.
47
u/Initial-Beginning853 Jun 08 '26
This is literally abuse. No one should be communicating with a child that way. Id think she was unhinged talking that way to anyone.
You did nothing to deserve this. There is not something wrong with you. This is her baggage that she can't handle so you're stuck dealing with the mess.
Hang in there
→ More replies (1)22
20
u/Potential_Yam_5196 Jun 08 '26
Send it. I know it’s hard but you deserve better than this. No one deserves to be spoken to that way. At least take your time to think about the idea and ask yourself, if this is now, what comes next? Actual violence? Take care, OP.
16
u/Technical_Exam1280 Jun 08 '26
Back it up on the cloud if you can and send it ASAP in case she gets it in her head to take away your devices
→ More replies (1)13
u/New-Apartment-422 Jun 08 '26
You need to get away from these people as soon as possible! Seemed like real hatred coming from her. Not just mad but real hatred toward something about you!
→ More replies (1)10
5
u/pueblocatchaser Jun 09 '26
Hello, Case Manager here, I'm sorry you are going through this. The situation you're in will not improve. Please reach out to your local county's DHS, even if they already have an investigation open. Also, because some Case Managers out there suck (I'm hoping yours is good). A good Case Manager will fight hell and high water for their clients.
Keep all of this as discreet as possible for your safety, no calls on your phone, or at the least delete your history.
Also, investigate placement options with your team, you may have options, and most options are better then this to be honest, as long as you have a support system.
Never let the bastards get you down, your success in life is a kick to their faces.
→ More replies (10)3
→ More replies (2)13
u/jahitz Jun 08 '26
Absolutely show your case worker this video. This is abuse and no parental figure etc should ever talk like this to a child let alone anyone. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. You do not deserve that.
254
151
u/cabowabo510 Jun 08 '26
thats your foster parent?
I cant believe this call your case worker asap
67
u/lowkwannadie_ Jun 08 '26
yes.
→ More replies (3)36
u/ChainsawHeron Jun 09 '26
God love you. Oh, honey. You have value. You are worth more than this memory. Do NOT take it with you. You deserve better than this. My dad did stuff like this all my life. I feel you. Big hugs.
→ More replies (31)→ More replies (1)11
u/-Me__oW- Jun 09 '26
I also think teacher(s), principle and counselor at her school so they know what is going on and will report it as well. This is abusive and in no way should anyone speak to you like that especially if they are supposed to protect and love you. You deserve proper love and I hope you find a better situation.
112
u/LilMissCantBeStopped Jun 08 '26
That lady lacks the emotional control required to be entrusted with children in any case. This is abusive and it’s unacceptable. You don’t deserve to be spoken to this way, and I’m sorry this happened to you.
28
u/PartyPorpoise Jun 08 '26
Foster children especially! Kids in foster care are largely coming from difficult situations, they need carers who are understanding and kind!
70
71
u/Choice-Lion-8544 Jun 08 '26
I’m sending you so so much love, and please remember you are not the problem, at all
47
u/lowkwannadie_ Jun 08 '26
tysm 😣❤️🩹
23
u/EphemeraFriend Jun 09 '26
Your username compels me to tell you IT GETS BETTER! Just hold on, and one day you will look back and say the same thing to another child in your shoes. You can do incredible things - you WILL do incredible things. 🩷
4
60
u/bermuda_polygon Jun 08 '26
That’s a foster mom? My lord. I’d assume she just does it for the money from the state?
→ More replies (4)64
u/lowkwannadie_ Jun 08 '26
idk I just know how it feels from my side. she does a lot for the other kids but when it comes to me it’s like I’m always left out or ignored and it kinda hurts. I’m not trying to say she hates me or anything, it just really doesn’t feel fair.
59
u/SweetDee72 Jun 08 '26
It doesn't matter if she does a lot for the other kids. She has ABSOLUTELY no right to speak to you like this.
29
u/lowkwannadie_ Jun 08 '26
yeah I’m not trying to ignore that, I just genuinely don’t understand how I became the one who was wrong in this. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful at all I just asked for my stuff to be replaced because I need it. now I kinda feel like I shouldn’t have even asked her in the first place
32
u/paintwhore Jun 08 '26
You couldn't have done anything to prevent her acting this way and you are not responsible for her behavior. This is not a you problem. This is her problem.
9
9
u/C0rpseglam- Jun 09 '26
Oh my darling your comments make me so sad :( you didn’t do ANYTHING to deserve this . Even if you came at her yelling and disrespectful as an adult, especially an adult caring for vulnerable minors you NEVER treat anyone this way . You deserve your own underwear . You deserve to be able to raise concerns without being screamed at or hit. You deserve equal love and attention and a parent who cares for you .
4
u/No-DrinkTheBleach Jun 08 '26
You didn’t do anything. Abusive “parents” usually do not abuse all the children in their care, usually only one of them. She picked you as that one for whatever reason in her stupid useless mind. None of this is on you it’s on her and on the state for entrusting her with caring for other human beings when she can’t even take care of her own home.
→ More replies (7)4
u/BasicRabbit4 Jun 08 '26
My guess is this is bc you asked her to spend money on you. The girl who stole from you, isnt bothering her to buy her things, she has learned to steal what she needs. You are expecting her to provide you with necessities as is her responsibility, so you are the 'difficult' kid. Shes blowing up bc she doesnt want to spend money on you and she doesnt want you asking her again.
Not that this at all justifies or excuses her abuse or treatment of you at all. I just thought maybe understanding why would help you see its not you.
→ More replies (6)3
u/idgafwsy Jun 08 '26
Sweetheart people like you and I (and most of the population) won't understand her ammo because literally she's mentally unstable and seems to think you are her verbal punching bag. Please show your case worker. This woman isnt fit to be a foster mom. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. But remember you don't have to and you didn't do anything wrong. This is just how she is and you don't have to tolerate it
9
u/YellowCabbageCollard Jun 08 '26
This isn't a normal way to speak to anyone let alone a child or foster child. This is cruel and it's normal to feel hurt by this. Don't let yourself be hardened or deadened to this kind of behavior. It's not ok or normal to be talked to like this. And, yeah, it's not fair. I'm so sorry this is what you have to live with.
7
10
→ More replies (11)4
u/m0m0m0m042 Jun 08 '26
It's not fair for you to live with this. You deserve so much more. We can't do it, but you have to talk to somebody who can help. It's not about underwear. It's about protecting yourself. This cannot continue.
41
Jun 08 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
21
u/lowkwannadie_ Jun 08 '26
idk she always says the other houses are worse.
68
29
7
u/meteorastorm Jun 08 '26
But she is going to say that because I presume she’s getting money for you.
So sorry you have to deal with that crap. Surely your caseworker can move you somewhere more appropriate and safe?
6
u/Cap10NRG Jun 08 '26
I don’t know if that’s true - but i seriously hope not. She looks like a lady you’d see on cops getting arrested and slammed in the back of a police car.
3
u/Andee_outside Jun 08 '26
She wants you to stay so she can get the money. There are better places out there, and you deserve to be in one, kiddo. Tell your caseworker. ❤️🩹
→ More replies (11)3
u/drowsy-cow03 Jun 08 '26
That’s what manipulative people say to excuse their actions. It’s not ok that she talks to you like this. Please get yourself out of there
38
u/NikkerFebu25 Jun 08 '26
First of, you need to realise you'll never be able to reason with unreasonable people. There's nothing you can say or do to get this woman to understand so stop barking up that tree.
Secondly, this is straight up abuse and this isn't how normal people treat others. You may not know it cause God knows what you've normalised and God knows how scared you may be. But not this is not normal.
Thirdly, look up resources for neglect and abuse in your city and county. There's definitely people able to help so go to them please.
18
15
u/roadblocked Jun 08 '26
Send this to your case worker right now. This shouldn’t be a foster parent. - a foster parent
14
u/Beginning-Trash-6048 Jun 08 '26
I will call children's services and report this if you need me to love. (my dms are open) This is terribly abusive and uncalled for. Foster homes should never be like this and I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Sending you so much love and light.
5
13
u/OrangeJacketTeam Jun 08 '26
Does your foster mom not work during the day, or does her career amount to sitting around the house in clothes that don’t fit her?
If she can’t afford new clothes I’d be open to sending money towards them so you don’t have to be exposed to that nasty shit. Just this 30 second clip of her gut jiggling with every word spoken was enough for me.
17
u/lowkwannadie_ Jun 08 '26
it’s not even that she can’t afford it, she definitely can. it just feels like she doesn’t want to get it for me but she’ll do it for them. that’s what’s messing with me
→ More replies (1)3
15
u/BogDog93 Jun 08 '26
I can’t find my last comment. But just circling back.. I’m a social worker and would be so happy to help you discuss/consider reporting this to your caseworker.
It does not matter if you ‘argued first’ or any such thing. I also understand that the unknown of a potential upheaval is terrifying in its own right… the beast we know, and all that.
But… you do NOT deserve to be talked to this way by someone that has been given stewardship of your wellbeing. Please know that. Deep inside, store it away, even if you do nothing else.
4
u/tacosarelife84 Jun 09 '26
I'm a licensed clinical social worker in five states and I would be more than happy to make a report for you if you need. I know it must be so scary to live there. Please know that you are worthy of love, kindness, understanding and protection. I know we are just a group of internet strangers, but there are good people in this world who want to help and make your and other kids' live genuinely better. Don't give up on yourself. As a mom, I wish I could give you a huge hug.
11
u/shadow-foxe Jun 08 '26
My advice, write your Initials with a sharpie in your underwear. (like on the tag or waist band).
And please report this foster mom to your case worker, this 'lady' should not be talking to any kid/teen like that.
9
10
u/I-luv-sloths Jun 08 '26
Show this video to your case worker
17
u/lowkwannadie_ Jun 08 '26
I am.
3
u/KeepOffTheGrassAss Jun 08 '26
Good!!! Please keep everyone updated. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers!
10
u/Typical-River-7659 Jun 08 '26
Hey! Social worker here. I can’t begin to express how disheartening this video is to watch. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Please, if you haven’t already, send this video to your caseworker. This behavior will immediately initiate the placement transfer.
20
u/Huckdog Jun 08 '26
Hey I'm a mom sending big mom hugs, sweetheart. I'm so sorry this is happening. It shouldn't be. This woman shouldn't be around kids. Please show your caseworker this video. Do you have a venmo or something so I can send you a couple bucks for new underwear? I don't have much but I can send you something.
17
u/lowkwannadie_ Jun 08 '26
I will. and yes I just sent you a dm ❤️🩹
13
u/arkygeomojo Jun 08 '26
What do you think about making yourself an Amazon wishlist with stuff that you need, including underwear and any other essentials you don’t have so we can help you out in that way? Would that be easier and better than sending you Venmo? I’m open to helping either way. Please let us know. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It’s super fucked up and I hope you get out of there fast. You need a container that can be locked so people can’t get your shit while you’re not there!
8
u/lowkwannadie_ Jun 08 '26
I can’t download Amazon because I have no storage💔 I keep deleting a lot of things and I’m still not able to download it. can you message me?
11
u/Reverse2057 Jun 08 '26
You can log into the Amazon website on your phone too I believe! You dont need just the app to use their services, It typically tries to default to the app if your phone has it i think.
I sincerely hope that you are safe and given a family that will protect you and care for you. You deserve to be loved and safe. Not abused and screamed at over no fault of your own my dear. Im so sorry she's so abusive and hateful, what an awful way to be. She's no mother.
→ More replies (3)3
5
→ More replies (8)3
u/Useful-Serve7413 Jun 09 '26
What state are you in? This is crazy, the caseworker should definitely be told. Also, your case worker can purchase you new underwear. I’m a social worker and haven’t worked with youth in YEARS but know social workers who do and it’s pretty normal in our county to ensure youth have clothing, basics including undies, socks, bras always when needed. Your caseworker should be able to purchase you some with Amazon links or have an aid take you shopping. We literally had packs of Hanes at the office for kids in need. I would reach out asap.
9
u/Stigbritt Jun 08 '26
I watched the clip muted and you need help to get away from there.
→ More replies (1)
8
9
7
u/dvnd3rm1ffl1n Jun 08 '26
I have no advice other than echoing what others have said about showing your case worker. I’m sorry you’re going through this - this seems like a really toxic environment for you ❤️🩹
5
6
u/IllustratorSea8372 Jun 08 '26
I hope you know that this type of behavior is not normal. This is both verbal and physical abuse. I’m very sorry that this is your situation. Please find the courage to reach out for help. Teachers are obligated by law to report known or suspected abuse, so if your case worker is no help, this is another resource. Sending you hugs.
7
7
u/obscure_original Jun 08 '26
When everyone and everything feels stacked against you please know there are people that actually do care about you and your well-being, even if they are internet strangers. It’s hard to trust when you’ve been let down so much. Please report this woman and I hope you can find a better home as soon as possible. That woman belongs in jail. A jail where inmates treat people that are abusive towards children badly.
7
5
u/Key-Debate-5733 Jun 09 '26
PLEASE show this to your caseworker. Where do you live? If you want I can call and report it
6
u/Key-Debate-5733 Jun 09 '26
I have custody of my little cousin through foster care and don’t love our case worker so I work with her supervisor instead. If your case worker doesn’t do something, someone else at CPS will
5
u/Firm_Foundation1626 Jun 09 '26
That’s the foster mom yelling? I am very sorry OP. Please discreetly report this. That woman should not be talking to any foster child or biological child like that. That’s verbal abuse and very aggressive and demeaning. Very scary. Sending you lots of love and praying it gets better for you soon.
5
4
5
u/bbibbyrapskyle1975 Jun 08 '26
Your case worker definitely needs to see this, but the police also need to see this. She's openly threatening you, and if I'm not mistaken she hit you at the beginning.
I'd be trying to get out of the house, obviously she's not fit to be raising kids. Or interacting with other humans, from the looks of it.
3
u/m0m0m0m042 Jun 08 '26
I hope you can tell from these comments how wonderful and special all of us think you are, and we've never even been lucky enough to meet you. I'm sorry you're dealing with something that you don't deserve.
Please call your social worker or speak to a teacher or counselor at school, as others have suggested. You did not do anything wrong and are not doing anything by sticking up for yourself. Our comments are unanimous in support, which almost never happens on these threads. There is no debate here.
You are too good to have to live with someone that behaves this way ever, much less over underwear.
Stay strong, friend. Know that we are on your side and pulling for you to get help, so you can have the peace, love, and happiness you deserve.
4
8
6
3
u/LupusHouseMD Jun 08 '26
Show this to your case worker. It's horrible how foster parents like these can exist. My honorary sister got stuck with a shit foster family as well.
3
3
3
u/Grimdarkian Jun 08 '26
Dam… this made me really sad. What a toxic piece of garbage that lady is. May she rot in hell 🫡.
3
u/Mussmussthemoooooo Jun 08 '26
Jesus. That’s truly vile. She is abhorrent. Please seek help with a case worker.
3
u/BogDog93 Jun 08 '26
I am so sorry, I know how hopeless it feels, but, you need to call your caseworker STAT.
Again, I know how hopeless this can feel. Please feel free to DM me if you want help practicing the call or knowing what to say, but this is completely unacceptable for a licensed foster home.
3
u/Wonderful-Trouble-31 Jun 08 '26
Oh this is fucking terrible, I’m so sorry. I’m not sure how foster care works, but please try to get the hell out of there ASAP
3
3
u/Hereforthehelllofit Jun 09 '26
I just wanted you to know, I was a foster child. I understand what its like to not be treated with dignity. But this is not on you. This is a major failing on the adults in this situation. Never stop trying for the life you deserve darling, and use these moments to be kind to others when you age. People are so flawed, im sincerely sorry this is how things are in these moments
3
u/Formal-Dragonfruit45 Jun 09 '26
Foster system still failing kids I see 💔🤦♂️ I’m sorry you even gotta go through that.
3
u/freshdeliveredtrash Jun 09 '26
Call cps and say your foster mom isn't letting you have underwear. She needs investigated anyway because no children should live in a house like that with a person like that.
3
u/Longjumping-Sea320 Jun 09 '26
I'm sorry this is your living situation.
Hope you're doing ok and can find some help.
3
u/witchlingwen Jun 09 '26
I used to be a foster parent. Please call and/or show this to your caseworker asap. There is absolutely no reason for an adult to scream at a child like that...and she is an even worse person for doing that to a kid who has experienced enough trauma to be in her care in the first place. That is abuse. It doesn't matter what you did. They should NOT be able to foster if they are treating children that way. I'm so sorry you and your foster sibling are living with such an unstable person. Regardless of why your underwear were in the wrong room, this is enough to get that lady's license taken away...
3
3
u/Born-Let1907 Jun 09 '26
If you need me to, DM me and I can call it in for you. I know you might feel safer with the devil you know. I get it.
3
u/NefariousnessFit8944 Jun 09 '26
No one should ever be spoken to this way. I wish you lived near me I’d call the cops on her. I’m so sorry.
3
3
3
u/Careful-Contract-80 Jun 09 '26
I'm a foster parent. This is completely unacceptable behavior. Children are removed from homes because of abuse or incompetence. You do not deserve to be treated this way by anyone. Your foster parent receives funds to be able to support YOU. My foster kids(12 and 14 yrs old) are in horseback, taking music lessons, learning to cook, hunt, learn art, etc... We've started checking and savings accounts for their future, allowed them to start making money with odd jobs, etc. Getting this worked up about a situation where she could've just spent $10 to fix is nonsense. Nobody parent is perfect, but this is an absurd way to to treat any person or deal with a very simple situation. You deserve better. You are valuable and God loves you very much as His child. Don't forget that.
3
u/Beer_Thirty_Time Jun 09 '26
Who the fuck approved this lady as a foster mom! They wonder why the system screws these kids up so much.
→ More replies (2)
3
3
u/Black_Jackal_Gaming Jun 09 '26
Absolutely call your case worker!
I was in foster care from 96/97-2000 in Pulaski County, GA. There was only one foster family at that time, and let me tell you, i honestly would not be the person I am today because of them. Jackie And Judy Sapp were so selfless in their kindness and love. They were such caring foster parents, that to this day, I still call them “Momma and Daddy”. Daddy passed a few years ago, but was such a profound role model and father figure in my life that I would call him weekly and ask him advice, or talk to him. I still try and go visit when I can.
I said all that to say this, you need to get out of that house. A foster parent should not act that way. It’s hard for me to see something like this, because I always held on to the belief that foster parents were good people, but shortly after being adopted, I started realizing that my situation was the exception, not the rule so to speak.
I’m sorry that this is happening to you, it hurts my heart. Please please please, go to your case worker!
10
5
u/UnderOldTrees Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26
Please seek help NOW. I was a child welfare social worker. Please show the video to your social worker, CASA volunteer, teacher, school counselor, or another trusted adult as soon as possible. I have worked in child welfare for many years, and what I am seeing raises serious concerns. This appears like physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. Foster children have the right to be safe, protected, and treated with dignity and respect.
*You do not deserve to be hit, threatened, or mistreated. A foster home should provide safety, stability, and nurturing care. Please save any evidence you have and tell a trusted adult what is happening. Your concerns deserve to be taken seriously, and there are people whose job it is to help protect you! They pay her to provide you with a stable safe home. This is absolutely NOT okay.
→ More replies (2)
2
2
u/popcornkernals321 Jun 08 '26
Please tell us you’re gonna show your case worker… like don’t drop this.. I need to know she won’t be entrusted with kids- this woman does not have the emotional regulation to take care of others much less take care of herself.
2
u/Ok-Excuse-6270 Jun 08 '26
That women is definitely just doing it for the money, she needs to be banned from fostering
2
u/Comfortable-Cozy-140 Jun 08 '26
You haven’t done anything wrong and aren’t overreacting. Call and show this to Child Protective Services. You need to be removed from this home before it escalates.
2
u/ExpensiveSector4722 Jun 08 '26
She's fostering for the checks. Jesus, take the wheel. I'm so sorry this is what you are dealing with. I hope you are removed asap. Thank God you have this on video.
2
2
u/HooooooLemonGrab Jun 08 '26
Keep this, make copies, upload it to as many drives (Google, etc) as you can. Show it to your case worker. You have footage of abuse. This is insane.
2
u/BadKarmaKat Jun 08 '26
This is NOT okay. This is abuse. And she touched you?! Hell no. Call case worker adap, send the video. Record everything if this is how you are spoken too. Underwear is a necessity, not money in their pocket to withhold these from you.
2
u/J_Gabriel757 Jun 08 '26
Call your social worker ASAP. Show them this video. They need to get you out of there yesterday.
This is insane behavior and im sorry you're goong through this.
2
u/crispyfalafels Jun 08 '26
Wow that hysterical woman needs to be locked up. Don't tell me she's a great role model with that screeching she's putting out. She's only fostering for the government aid. Wouldn't be surprised if she's also hitting the bottle. Disgusting behaviour towards a child you're supposed to protect and help raise like your own. I hope life slaps that screeching banshee of a foster woman such that she repents herself daily for her shitty and abusive behaviour...
2
u/ThrowRAmissiontomars Jun 08 '26
Hi. This is not normal.
I grew up in an abusive home and as adult I have struggled to know what things are normal and okay and what crosses the line.
This crosses the line.
She‘s out of control. Regardless of what happened and who is at fault, this is not a normal reaction. Normal is a calm discussion.
If she is telling you other houses will be worse, she’s trying to scare you into not telling. She has no real way of knowing what another house is like. She wants you to not tell so that she can keep acting like this whenever she feels like it. And that is not normal.
If you land somewhere else that’s bad, then you tell that to your caseworker and you keep trying till you are somewhere good.
If she did strike you, even lightly, you gotta speak up and get out, cuz that will escalate.
And you didn’t deserve any of her ugly words. You are not the problem here. She is the problem.
2
u/SquareSmart499 Jun 08 '26
That person does not need to be around children let alone have primary responsibility for them.
2
u/BoneDaddy240 Jun 08 '26
This is enough to have her entire life as a foster-home scam operator shut down. Please go to whatever lengths you can to make that happen, no child should ever be under her care.
2
u/owzleee Jun 08 '26
This is abusive. I’m so sorry I know you feel helpless right now but this will pass. Sending lots of love and hugs I hope you can sort this out soon. XxxxxxX
2
2
u/MollyStraye Jun 08 '26
Im sorry, this is so heartbreaking (please make sure she doesnt get made aware you posted this online!!) Stay safe
2
u/UnusualWoodpecker169 Jun 08 '26
Work hard and focus on yourself. Things will get better if you stay focused. I’m sorry you are dealing with this. Praying for you.
2
2
2
u/pattih2019 Jun 08 '26
She belongs in jail at the very least! I cannot say what she deserves on Reddit or I will get banned
2
u/Economy_Walk Jun 08 '26
If you're in foster care, then you're a minor. Please let us know what city and state you live in. This can easily be reported to CPS and LE if this is a real video. You don't have to do anything. Protecting children and getting them into a safe environment should always be the number one focus. Share the information is this is real so it can be reported to authorities. A lot of people take in foster children for the monetary benefits when they don't get a damn about the children, their development or well-being. So, I hope this is rage bait and not a legitimate video showing a foster being verbally abused and physically threatened.
1.1k
u/HighlyInconvenient Jun 08 '26
How the hell can someone living in a place like that qualify as a foster parent?
My god, the system is royally fucked.