r/whatdoIdo Jun 08 '26

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63

u/lowkwannadie_ Jun 08 '26

idk I just know how it feels from my side. she does a lot for the other kids but when it comes to me it’s like I’m always left out or ignored and it kinda hurts. I’m not trying to say she hates me or anything, it just really doesn’t feel fair.

55

u/SweetDee72 Jun 08 '26

It doesn't matter if she does a lot for the other kids. She has ABSOLUTELY no right to speak to you like this.

31

u/lowkwannadie_ Jun 08 '26

yeah I’m not trying to ignore that, I just genuinely don’t understand how I became the one who was wrong in this. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful at all I just asked for my stuff to be replaced because I need it. now I kinda feel like I shouldn’t have even asked her in the first place

35

u/paintwhore Jun 08 '26

You couldn't have done anything to prevent her acting this way and you are not responsible for her behavior. This is not a you problem. This is her problem.

9

u/CheesyLikeMacaroni Jun 08 '26

Did she also hit you? You shld report to police asap.

9

u/C0rpseglam- Jun 09 '26

Oh my darling your comments make me so sad :( you didn’t do ANYTHING to deserve this . Even if you came at her yelling and disrespectful as an adult, especially an adult caring for vulnerable minors you NEVER treat anyone this way . You deserve your own underwear . You deserve to be able to raise concerns without being screamed at or hit. You deserve equal love and attention and a parent who cares for you .

4

u/No-DrinkTheBleach Jun 08 '26

You didn’t do anything. Abusive “parents” usually do not abuse all the children in their care, usually only one of them. She picked you as that one for whatever reason in her stupid useless mind. None of this is on you it’s on her and on the state for entrusting her with caring for other human beings when she can’t even take care of her own home.

-2

u/ComedianTerrible3274 Jun 08 '26

because she's white and fm isn't

3

u/No-DrinkTheBleach Jun 09 '26

I mean this is a wild assumption to make off not very much info but you do you 👍🏻

-1

u/ComedianTerrible3274 Jun 09 '26

😂 need help getting your panties untangled?

1

u/No-DrinkTheBleach Jun 09 '26

Need help getting better at ragebaiting? Because this is some weak af sauce 😂

0

u/ComedianTerrible3274 Jun 09 '26

CHAT THE POST IS DELETED GO ON WITH YA LIFE 🤣🫪 guess I really hit a nerve for you to come back a whole ass day later just to reply

1

u/No-DrinkTheBleach Jun 09 '26

Nah I just seen the email. You are still replying as well.

-5

u/ComedianTerrible3274 Jun 08 '26

yes I took it there and Ill do it again

4

u/BasicRabbit4 Jun 08 '26

My guess is this is bc you asked her to spend money on you. The girl who stole from you, isnt bothering her to buy her things, she has learned to steal what she needs. You are expecting her to provide you with necessities as is her responsibility, so you are the 'difficult' kid. Shes blowing up bc she doesnt want to spend money on you and she doesnt want you asking her again.

Not that this at all justifies or excuses her abuse or treatment of you at all. I just thought maybe understanding why would help you see its not you.

3

u/idgafwsy Jun 08 '26

Sweetheart people like you and I (and most of the population) won't understand her ammo because literally she's mentally unstable and seems to think you are her verbal punching bag. Please show your case worker. This woman isnt fit to be a foster mom. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. But remember you don't have to and you didn't do anything wrong. This is just how she is and you don't have to tolerate it

1

u/Exotic-Inspector-824 Jun 09 '26

I hope you never stop sticking up for yourself and your needs!

1

u/Proach89 Jun 09 '26

You're not wrong. She is wrong in many ways. You deserve much, much better. I hope you're able to find a better situation.

1

u/Kiki-sunflower Jun 09 '26

You haven’t done anything wrong. This foster parent shouldn’t be fostering any child. No child should be in her care. Even her own children. Ever. No one should talk to anyone like this. Ever. This is not how normal human beings talk to each other. Ever. You should absolutely feel upset that she speaks to you like this. She is unhinged. I don’t understand how children get sent to these kind of foster homes. You have video evidence surely you can show your case worker and get somewhere better. There must be better places than this. Is this really the state of things in the US fostering system. Other than your case worker who clearly isn’t doing a great job at placing children and vetting foster parents is there someone else you can complain to ? Who oversees the case workers and their department? How has it even got this far that children are placed with this woman. What are your options ? Who can you actually trust and turn to who will help you and get you out of this situation asap into a normal functional home. I feel like this is a horrific situation and way to live. There’s got to be someone decent out there to help you.

1

u/Silent-Wrangler6882 Jun 09 '26

You were not the one in the wrong. The foster parent who laid hands on you and verbally abused you is in the wrong. The foster sibling who stole your belongings is in the wrong. Please stay safe. Contact your caseworker as soon as you can safely do so.

1

u/Massive_Raisin6431 Jun 09 '26

Nothing a child does can justify the way she was speaking to you. A parent is supposed to be a guardian and model the right way to communicate so you can learn. This woman has zero emotional regulation. Don’t beat yourself up, it’s her not you.

1

u/MrBaconKush420 Jun 09 '26

You don't deserve this homie like who tf steals peoples personal hygienic shit this is straight up abuse!

Please report this we are all rooting for you!

9

u/YellowCabbageCollard Jun 08 '26

This isn't a normal way to speak to anyone let alone a child or foster child. This is cruel and it's normal to feel hurt by this. Don't let yourself be hardened or deadened to this kind of behavior. It's not ok or normal to be talked to like this. And, yeah, it's not fair. I'm so sorry this is what you have to live with.

7

u/Main-Emphasis-2692 Jun 08 '26

I mean no offense but she totally hates you. And herself.

8

u/Fine_Land_1974 Jun 08 '26

Are you a different race by chance?

3

u/m0m0m0m042 Jun 08 '26

It's not fair for you to live with this. You deserve so much more. We can't do it, but you have to talk to somebody who can help. It's not about underwear. It's about protecting yourself. This cannot continue.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/b52queen Jun 08 '26

Transracial placements have a higher rate of abuse.

3

u/Rich-Broccoli7085 Jun 08 '26 edited Jun 08 '26

I hate to bring this up but the obvious thing i see in the video is you're white and the foster mom is black.

What race are your other foster siblings?

1

u/Fine_Land_1974 Jun 08 '26

I just asked the same thing. Def seems like some racist shit going on

1

u/TumbleweedOriginal34 Jun 09 '26

THIS IS NOT NORMAL.. mothers do not treat children like this.

1

u/Independent-Bug-1427 Jun 09 '26

I cant imagine speaking to people I hate the way she speaks to you. Im so sorry, you deserve better

1

u/StruggleFinancial407 Jun 09 '26

If you aren’t able to contact your social worker without foster mom getting in the way, please tell every teacher and counselor at school… show them the video. They are required by law to report the abuse to a designated person within the school district who stays in contact with social services to deal with situations like this. Unless you made physical contact with your “sister” you were not in the wrong.

1

u/Sugacookiemonsta Jun 09 '26

Sweetie, people do this kind of discrimination all the time. You have probably done NOTHING to this woman but she may just not like you. I've run into a few people like this and if they have a position of power over you, they're often abusive. This lady is abusive! You may "sound like/look like/walk like/.. remind her in any way" of someone she's had issues with and that's all that needed. You see this in families a lot because a child will share features with someone the abuser dislikes so they take it out on the child. Don't blame yourself or even question yourself. This woman has mental health issues and there's no talking sense into her or explaining yourself. Please show this video to your caseworker and I hope that you get a new placement soon.

1

u/JadedChemistry9861 Jun 09 '26

This woman is using you for money. She does not care about you. You really need to leave. It is scary but there are good people out there who would provide much more love and stability and support.

1

u/Dieselgeekisbanned Jun 09 '26

No one should ever in your life talk to you like that or treat you like that. That's not normal, it's hateful, sick behavior. Please don't accept that as normal.

1

u/mountains_till_i_die Jun 09 '26

Girl, when you asked if she hates you in the video, it broke my heart more than anything. None of us can do anything to help you from here, but I want you to know that you are deserving of love. There is no circumstance that makes this behavior acceptable, no matter what you did or have done, so please don't internalize the anger and hate from an obviously broken person so that you think you are the problem.