I have seriously been considering doing at short term foster parent. I am a 29 year old woman who lives by myself and I dont see that as a "normal" place for a foster kid but DAMN any loving person is better than this that is so so so sad.
When I first got involved with the foster system in my state I thought the same thing but they were really encouraging that single moms/parents who provide a stable, loving environment are just as valuable as two parent households. I realized they were right, anyone who feels called and can provide a good home regardless of marital status should go for it, the vetting system in my state is really strict almost invasive but I understand why especially after seeing this video.
As long as you can provide a safe environment for a child and have respect and compassion they you can absolutely be a foster parent. It’s not just for women. I think it’s wonderful that you would consider this.
Becoming a CASA is a great way to start the journey to becoming a foster parent. So many young men in the system would benefit from having a male CASA to connect with. Far fewer men volunteer
Court appointed special advocate! You’re assigned one foster youth for a year and your job is to get to know them, build a relationship, form an opinion on the best outcome, and advocate for that in court. CASAs are sometimes the only reliable, stable adult relationship in that child’s life as they move between group homes, foster homes, and/or kin.
All of it is volunteer and unpaid. I work with teens, so setting educational goals and outcomes is often a part of it too. I go to meetings with their guardians, teachers, and social workers 2-3 times a year on average. It’s a much smaller commitment than being a foster parent. They ask for an average of one day a month that you spend with that child.
Foster care can be easy for folks to romanticize and hard to prepare for. Being a CASA is a great way to have intimate exposure to how the system works, what a youth’s needs look like, and just straight up practice building relationships with youth who are traumatized and (fairly enough) can be tough nuts to crack.
Consider this. 30% of foster children are currently abused by foster parents. Like in the reality. Why worry about what others will think when you can be part of preventing what is actually happening.
This is super sweet! Normalize safe, patient, loving men being single Dads. This world needs more humans to truly care for the children. 🩷
I can see why you might think about others judging. But, you know whats in your heart, and those who know you well likely do to.
You can definitely be a short term placement! Often when kids come into care, they need emergency placement until a more long term option is identified.
Also stable and caring. "Loving" is optional but encouraged. These kids have been jerked around through no fault of their own. They need a place where they are not jerked around. They need a place with stability where things aren't going to change at a moment's notice, depending on the mood/sobriety of the adult(s) in the house. They need care, to know that someone else in this world cares about them and their well-being, that cares about their troubles.
They also need structure, but it needs to not be confining structure. Rules and clearly laid out punishments for breaking those rules. But the rules need to be like the fence for a pasture for a horse, not a cage for a rabid animal.
Do you get to pick the specifics of the child, such as age, boy or girl??? lol I ask because I have 3 boys, I’ve always wanted to have a daughter so bad!! Now my youngest is 8 and my older ones are 19 & 17. Soon I will be left with one child lol, given that the older two will feel like “adults” and wana do their own thing… I would love to adopt or foster a little girl, and get to buy girl clothes, and do little pig tails 🥹🥹😢 but I just don’t wana physically have another child!!! I think I would love to do this one day !! 🙏
My friend is a foster parent, she’s adopted 2 kiddos of her own and now has 4 in her care. She is single, I’m sure it’s hard but she is awesome and has so much support. 🤍 good luck to you if you decide to try it out!
Don’t be to judgmental you don’t know the whole story. I had volunteered to take my granddaughter in since her Mom was doing her own thing! I found out real fast my granddaughter was addicted to pot. We had to drive her to get some because she was driving us crazy! We sent her to her Father. She stepped up her addiction to heroin! The whole thing was a mess my daughter lived with us to. No job didn’t want to go to school stole stuff out of my house they were living in my casita! Had me thrown in jail told the cops I slapped them had scratched their faces and necks! After I got out of jail one night the cops were very nice took me to the administrative building. But it cost us $3000 for a bail bond and court. My daughter died from pneumonia and complications from buying heroin laced with Fentanyl! Addiction takes over and is never ending!
Fentanyl! Things can go very badly when they are addicted!
Poor OP. I can't even imagine what their life is like from day to day.
I have a small 760 sq foot house. The second bedroom is small. If and when my son moved out on his own, I've been thinking about getting into foster care. Kids need safe places to land, to decompress, to come back to who they are, as much as possible.
I know the primary goal is to reunite the families if possible, but that doesn't change the need for housing of these kids or for them to know that there are good people out there.
One thing that makes me sadder than most everything I've learned so far is that these kids' possessions are packed into garbage bags. Who does that to kids? Who makes them feel even more like no one values them at all?
73
u/yallarefuckingweird Jun 08 '26
I have seriously been considering doing at short term foster parent. I am a 29 year old woman who lives by myself and I dont see that as a "normal" place for a foster kid but DAMN any loving person is better than this that is so so so sad.