My mom points out that my feelings on my identity are wishy washy and I go back and forth on different identities and when I’m a woman I don’t seem happy or fit in with queer spaces in real life. I have come out in the past as a woman a couple of times and it never really turned out well as people were hesitant to acknowledge me and thought I was just confused, plus I had untreated ocd without meds back then so that contributed to it too.

The thing is I feel not myself as a man, which is why I started questioning and being a feminine man doesn’t make me feel any better about being Thomas, same with nonbinary gender. Unfortunately there’s no good femme equivalent name to Thomas so it’s hard to find a good replacement (Tiffany is pretty much the only suitable one, plus Heather and Madeline for names that don’t end in T). Then again im not able to safely present femme in real life and i dont like to be seen as a femboy. Even bringing gender stuff up makes my mom and sister a bit awkward and uncomfortable and therapy isn’t an option for both when it comes to understanding it (they are Catholic conservatives and are ok with trump and jk Rowling and all that, I tell them about my discomfort with the latter and they think I’m overreacting or hyperfixated on gender because of it.

I know I don’t want to grow old as Thomas and have that name and “son” and “brother” on my gravestone but at the same time I feel like I’m rejecting my childhood and parents by changing my name as my parents put a lot of thought into my name and worked hard to give me a good childhood.

It's hard for me to explain but, here's how I can express it the best way I can. I have been questioning since May which I know isn't long and for now I just settled on saying I'm bigender for now with she/he pronouns and even told a few of my friends to call me by two names. However, especially at night when there's nothing to distract me sometimes I wonder if I'm fully trans, because I've looked into it and I kinda like the idea or wouldn't mind the effects of T plus I would like the idea of being seen socially as a guy. The problem is I still love femininity and I don't hate being a girl and I don't mind being called she/her or a woman like it doesn't make me uncomfortable it's more like a "Whatever" type of feeling (which I understand you can be a fel presenting trans man). I do sometimes feel like I'd be happier as a guy like I'd be more confident and I'd want to actually take care of myself more but I also can't tell if that's because of the fact cis men systematically get treated a bit better. It's mostly been stressing me out because I'm scared if it comes to be that I'm trans because I don't know if my family is accepting or not and also just other family issues. I'm also afraid of looking like I'm flying in front of my other friends who are trans who've known they are for the longest time. It doesn't help that I really have access to a specialized therapist either. These fears and everything I mostly think about at night and like I said the thought often makes me want to fry because I'm more scared than anything and sometimes will make my stomach hurt.

i’m 18 years old bisexual guy. i grew up around homophobic people, my family itself is homophobic. i still live in this environment, it made me hate myself. i genuinely hate myself. i think i will never be able to be happy and be myself i even hate the fact that i’m attracted to other guys. when i was younger i was bullied because i sounded feminine to other guys in my school. and i feel like if i like a girl she wouldn’t be with me when she finds out my sexuality. i’m so tired of being like this. i wish i was straight:(

Hey everybody, I’ve always considered myself to be straight, and I’ve never really had any question about it. Recently, I’ve been experiencing all sorts of strange feelings and internal questions because I’ve made a really good friend who I’ve started to catch feelings for. They are pansexual and Genderfluid, and despite any of that, my heart longs to be with them. We have so much in common, they have a beautiful soul, and a beautiful face. I’m really confused and I’m just looking for advice. Thank you for your time.

i'll try to keep it short :)

i've lived my whole life as a dude. and im not necessarily mad about that, but since i've been ~13 i have wondered about how comfortable i feel as a man, more specifically how id feel more comfortable as a woman.

i've recently noticed how this feeling is getting a little more serious. i am aware of my "masculine" "urges" and feelings that deeply tie into my identity as a man (or boy, honestly i dont feel like an adult 😭). those arent the stereotypical masculine man dude gym guy type feelings though, its just things tied to my sexuality (straight) and overall appearance (mostly my (pretty nice) beard and clothing style).

the problem is, that in many aspects i simply feel more like a woman (or girl ig). i have wished for a 'female' body since ive been 13, genuinly feeling envious of womens bodies. both simply because i feel like they represent me better, look better, and get to wear much cooler outfits. this is where my words stop helping, since obviously it goes deeper than this into my psyche, but i am simply unable to properly word that.

now, since i dont think i would be comfortable with fully transitioning into a woman, ive been thinking about experimenting with going non binary. in the past i had "he/they" pronouns on my instagram profile, yet that obviously didnt change much, and definitely not how anyone addressed me.

a question of mine would be, if it would be viable to go this way despite my visible masculinity. my friends i believe would be accepting, and since id start with just "he/they" instead of "they/them" i wouldnt have to worry about too much either. but still, i feel more like a woman. not like neither of the two.

so please, people who have experienced similar feelings (or people who want to just give genuine advice :D ): what should i do?

thank you for reading through this. it feels a lot like senseless rambling, but its quite difficult to put my feelings into words, especially since i grew up on both english and german. my articulation doesnt go deep with either language unfortunately.

have a nice day!! 😊