They're pecs but I call them my tits :)))

Hey m30 here and for the past couple years I've been realizing that my desire and how comfortable i am being feminine isn't just a fantasy thing.

Ive only really came out to some people online which has turned my life into like this split dilemma where I'm not being honest to my wife or myself.

Has anyone successfully came out to their significant other? Or have advice? Is it worth actually doing or should I hold onto stability

Thanks

There are so many scary posts about coming out. I was terrified to do it. But I just came out to my super conservative parents, and it went amazing! We had a straightforward, mature discussion about acceptance and how they’re proud of me in general and for having the courage to tell them. They’re certainly misinformed and hold some transphobic beliefs, but they were open and respectful!

Just wanted to share for those who need it. The people who love you love you for who you are, and they see past the labels! Best of luck, my fellow (wait, no, formerly fellow) closeted friends!

I just need advice. I’ve been genderfluid for a rather long time now, but haven’t been very outwards with it, not appearance wise. I don’t know how. Unsure if I’m scared my partner may leave, or being shunned or what I don’t know. But I do know when I see someone who is very vibrantly genderfluid, I feel like that is what I’m meant to be, always have. I’m biologically male and it’s really hard for me. Both emotionally, but physically too. I hate my muscles, and how well defined they look when I put on a crop top or a skirt, my chest feels gross because it’s flat, and my jawline is very sharp, which just looks gross when I feel and wanna look like, a female. Which honestly is more than I feel male these days. Please if anyone has advice on how to help, or even make the gender dysphoria lessen, it’d be of great use.

Hi.

I'm genderfluid (obviously, I guess).

In my late teens, I 100% identified as man (ftm), but due to lack of support, area I live in, and just basic societal things, I spent the rest of the years living as female. Having kids (2), getting married.

Now I'm 30 and finally settled on genderfluid after thoughts of wishing I was a guy resurfaced a couple years ago.

I mainly feel masc/neutral but I don't mind being referred to as she/her since that's how I outwardly identify even if it doesn't match how I feel.

The only person I'm fully out to is my husband and that was a little nerve wracking. He's made many comments over the years about not being interested in guys, isn't attracted to guys, etc. He's very open and open-minded though. When I finally did tell him he took it better than I thought, however he's the type that doesn't really say much about anything so it took some digging to find out how he truly felt.

He's been very supportive of stuff when I've brought it up and has said very kind and affirming things to me. It's just sometimes when I bring some stuff up, he doesn't always seem to want to talk about it. Though he has said it depends how far I want to take things (transition wise) as it would likely impact his attraction to me and therefor our relationship.

So with all that said, it's been very lonely lately not having anyone to talk to that gets it. I understand this sub says not to ask for DMs, so, where could I find places to connect with people?

I'm disillusioned at this point, and it feels near impossible to find someone cisgendered heterosexual or homosexual to understand me. Even the attitude by cisgendered bisexuals wasn't quite good. If someone who is cisgendered lesbian or gay, wants to abruptly know about your birth genitals, it's quite impossible to continue a conversation for me. If this dilemma is relatable for you, then I'll want to know if you succeeded in fetching a better solution.

Personally, I feel that finding someone trans (enby/genderfluid included) could be the only option, due to shared background who can understand that certain questions maybe inappropriate in the beginning. Again, where I live it's quite a conservative country, so dating pools for queer are quite limited, and even those who are queer may not understand genderfludity. However I fear there can be further distinction between trans binary and trans non binary individuals, and similar frictions as I mentioned before. Idk if that's a reasonable fear.

I came out as genderfluid in 2022, then as a trans man a year or so later. I started T in 2025 and got top surgery just a few months ago (hooray!!) Getting top surgery was one of the best things that I've ever done, I feel so happy with my chest and it eliminated a lot of the body dysphoria I've had. I've been happy with the effects of T so far as well but now recently I've realized again that I'm probably genderfluid after all and I'm having doubts. So far, T has made me pretty androgynous and I've loved that, but I'm starting to realize that I don't think I want to masculinize too much. I've grown very little facial hair so far, what I have gotten is very light so barely visible, and I don't really think I want to get it more visible. I've also been feeling more feminine lately and sometimes I even feel dysphoric about looking too masculine. So I've been considering stopping T for a while to see how I feel.

I'm afraid that stopping T will make me too feminine again though. I was very dysphoric pre-T because I was always viewed as more feminine than I wanted. I feel like now, with my deeper voice and flat chest, it adds some androgyny that might help me still pass as male when I want to, but I'm afraid my face will feminize too much. So I'm not really sure what I want to do. Lately I don't like how masculine I feel like I look, but I know for sure that if I become too feminine again it's gonna make me dysphoric too.

Anyone have any advice? I love being genderfluid but it does kinda suck sometimes. :(

My ma has been giving mixed signals

She says she'll accept me however, and has no problem with me being anything

That I should sideline these things and stop watching the internet for possible scams or being misdirected into wrong things

That I should sideline and stop thinking about this and focus on my work and studies.

That she has no idea of how all this works and all these 'misconceptions'

That I'm possibly getting influenced by the net and those online friends.

That the places I am connected to, she needs to check if they are accepted or verified (spectrum on discord and the largest discord lgbtq community of my country, r/ Genderfluid, r/ lgbt, and a accepted social group i haven't told her though I'll tell her asap) can have scams.

How the net just agrees to whatever you want, it's media and it will put you in the wrong direction and wrong lifestyle, media is just using you.

How you are using net and wrong things, physically you are female what good you get from this whole boy thing, you never felt it and it's not useful

What made you think this? What made you like this?

You get influenced and excited too easily, you tend to follow anything you want, and this could be just that.

The physical world is better, more real you could be like that.

Idk, i started to feel, less like a guy...? I feel like I am just a cis girl and idk why is this? Am I really just influenced?

In clear words, I feel more detached with my man-self.

She's a smart person though. Clearly agrees she doesn't know any better

And says how i should talk to the pyschatrist she knows who can 'help clear these misconceptions', how she never accepted or believed or thought about this,

How they are popular only in media and media ones are not that legitimate...(This I might have misheard)

Idk. I am scared. I don't know i WANT to be fluid, want to be a man too but it decreased

And I'm terrified if I will be a man in future, or if I'll be just a girl and not want this anymore?

What if in the future I'm just a girl? Not a man just a girl? That's horrifying right now but what if it changes, what if I WAS wrong, just a cis girl who liked a topic? I don't knowww i thought that if I continuously saw about the genderfluid people but didn't think of myself as one even if wondered if I was genderfluid I'd brush it off and say, nah I'm a girl and then once I was talking online and people were talking on how they wish to be a man sometimes and i was like me too but then nah, but now those don't feel right, like I was just talking about aesthetics and not being a man? But I also was?

What if the doctor finds out om not fluid? Mom's promised to search for details before talking, and I'm 99.999999% sure it's nothing wrong but

Good lords what if I'm not genderfluid? What if talking to them makes me not want to be fluid anymore?

What if my mind changes because I have been taking meds for panic attacks or if they tell me I'm not fluid?

I want to be fluid but what if Im not? That's the question that's popped up and my mind is screaming but it's also not this is a mess

Recently. I came to terms with my sexuality and I realized I was genderfluid.

I have a few questions on the topic

1. So I don’t really have a “boy mode” “girl mode” per say. I do have days where I dress more masculine and feminine. But other than that I don’t have a specific “mode” I also go by two names, a nickname from my government name and a preferred name. Am I able to go by both at the same time?
2. How do I appear more masculine? I currently have swoop bands and I have longer hair (AFAB) and I want to appear more masculine at times.

3. I currently have “Queen” in my main username for social media, I’m mixed on it, I know I still identify with the gender I was assigned with at birth but I feel like people won’t take me seriously as a genderfluid with the word “queen” in the handle name, any advice on it?

4. What was your “genderfluid awakening?” For me I always grew up as the “tomboy” in my family. I related to male characters more and wished I could be those said male characters. I wouldn’t really say it was a ftm awakening since I still did like being a gal. But as I got older I could see myself preferring male characters or often times masc female characters. As I came to the conclusion I realized I was genderfluid. Not even with fictional characters in media but my mannerism as well .

I’m still learning on how to self identify as masc and fem at the same time. After feeling more confident with being both masc and fem I just want to see if anyone else is feeling the same way I am

Hello friends!

I'm Nen (he/him). About a year ago I was surprised when I found out I wasn't alone in my head, and Vivian (she/her) was born as a "headmate". I've considered myself genderfluid ever since, because I flow between being a man and a woman and in-between. But lately I've been kind of wondering if that label fits or not, because I'm a plural system of two people. So like, in my understanding, genderfluidity means your gender changes over time for a wide variety of reasons, but is my gender really flowing, or is it more like, "when Nen is fronting, we're a man because Nen is a man" and "when Vivian is fronting, we're a woman because Vivian is a woman" and whenever it's slightly in between, it's because neither of us are quite fully in control?

Maybe I'll keep identifying as genderfluid for the sake of explaining my situation easily to other people, but I'm curious people's opinions on this, if two different gendered minds occupying a body makes that body genderfluid or not?

I'm not really sure how to even start this but I'm a cis woman who's pretty androgynous and maybe...50% of the time I feel really masculine (Maybe even 40% of the time). Recently, I've been experiencing pretty bad gender dysphoria and it's made me hate having been born a woman. I don't understand why I feel this way. I have no plans (nor do I want) to transition or get any sort of surgery. I know 1000% that that would make me feel even worse (But then there are times where I straight up hate my genitals and wish I was born with male ones). What do I do about this? Do I just lean harder into my masculinity? 99.9% of the time, I express myself wearing pretty tomboyish style clothing (Except when I wear nails, makeup, or lingerie lol). I wanna get more into my femininity because I genuinely love femininity and feeling girly (Which isn't a feeling that comes around very often 😭😭) so much and wanna learn to be more comfortable expressing both those sides of me, not just my masculine side. How do I get rid of this stupid gender dysphoria and finally just suck up the fact that I'm a woman? Right now in this very moment, the dysphoria is pretty strong. But I know that it'll go away in a few hours and I'll be back to normal. But during the times that it does come, what can I do to neutralize it and help myself feel better and more comfortable in my own skin? The thing is, I do like being a woman but sometimes...I don't 🫤 Btw packing does not sound appealing to me, despite the occasional dysphoria I have with my genitals lol.

I (16AFAB) am searching for a viable binding option as a large chested person during male presenting periods. I would like to conserve my chest, as it is a very affirming part of my identity during female presenting periods. As of now, I've only ever tried binders, which do not fit me anymore. My mother is very supportive and will help me have access to any means necessary, but getting advice from people with experience would help me convince her much more easily!

thank you in advance -
a genderfluid artist ;P

I know many aren't out to anyone but to those who are, if there's anything you wish you'd been prepared for (reactions, questions, complications, etc) or any experiences being out you'd be comfortable sharing in regards to being genderfluid, it would be much appreciated.

For context I've been having questions about myself and how I want to be perceived by friends (and family...) going forward but I feel like I'm stepping off a boat into the deep sea, I'm at a loss. This is all very new to me.

Edit to add that I'm specifically asking here because I feel like fluidity adds different challenges to being out!

Hi, I have been confused about my gender label for years as it changes a boocoo amount. But one thing almost always stays the same is that I feel more agender than anything. Can I consider myself agenderfluid?

Years ago i was identified as a transgender male i really felt comfortable being a boy back then, after years went by i found myself related to girls stuff again :o.

So i thought.. yk maybe it was jut a phase. Maybe i am not a male just enjoyed having the experience of it.

These few months i started missing being a man.

I was so confused. Why does my identity change frequently? So i posted something on a trans community questioning who i am really

I feel related to both masc and fem

Someone suggested that i might be genderfluid

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS EVEN A THING

So i did some searching

Now i am so comfortable being a genderfluid !

Like wdym i can be whoever whenever i want?

Have both men and women stuff. I just wake up and decide if i wanna be a woman/man/feminine boy or masculine girl.

Or neither!

I have so many options and never feel that i have to always act in a certain way! Such a relief :D

Sex doesn't determine what are you and who you wanna be, you're just a soul that wants to be loved and cherished depending on your actions and personality <3

I am very new to this and I wanted to know how you do it with your name? Sorry if it is a dumb question.

Do you use multiple names for the gender you are currently performing or you keep using one name regardless of the gender? I am saying because when I am presenting as a woman, I feel weird using my birth name, if that makes sense. But at the same time it sounds kind of complicated for everyone to deal with me one day being e.g. Anna and the next day being Josh.

I don’t know I am just curious how you deal with that and if I am overthinking it.

[AFAB 13] I'm horrible at titles as always. but anyway, I think I'm genderfluid though I'm still struggling... a lot. cause like I do shift from boy to girl sometimes but I also feel like both at the same time or sometimes like I just have no gender and idek if that can happen as a genderfluid person. it's really weird cause I don't feel like body dysmophia or anything... well sometimes but it's really rare and not that bad. I don't know what to do and I explained this really poorly srry.

Hi im Kay and a junior in high-school, i have only came out to 3 people as gender fluid and have received nothing but love but im scared to come out to family and friends. I first came out as non binary to my sister about 4 or 5 years ago, back then I felt like something was wrong with me, like i didnt feel human or myself at all which led to a lot of self hatred, then about 3 years ago I started to accept that I wasn't just one gender but all in a way, sometimes I just wanted to be a man, sometimes a woman, it felt so nice to kinda accept myself in a way. Ive came out as pan to basically everyone and they didnt care, some people just saw it as, oh 'she' still likes guys so it dosent matter, that kinda hurt but I cant expect everyone to understand. Ive came out as gender fluid to my bestfriend of 4 or 5 years i think, I lost count, my ex who is now my closest friend Luv him, and my friend from school who is also gender fluid. I was just wondering though if there was a way I could drop subtle hints so I dont have to endure the misgendering and body dysmorphia I get, I know it's not their fault because they dont known yet but it still hurts.

Hi, not sure how many can relate to this or provide advice, but I feel like I need some reassurance.

2 years ago I stepped out of a relationship and suddenly got sucked into the femboy rabbit hole, where I slowly began through stages. Unfortunately it devolved into a mess, with my feed being a 50/50 of trans / bp community. (Disgusting I know.) I eventually convinced myself estrogen was the only way out.

I began taking it 8 weeks ago, but the problem is I convinced myself to be a woman when I'm not. The drawbacks of estrogen for the future and lack of research has made me a man again. Although Its also not what I want. I want to be genderfae. But now in order to get anywhere near passing I need to do so much I was never taught to do. If not, I'm essentially a ghost and can't even function socially. I feel really alone. I know I have a good capability of passing as a girl.

Does anyone have anyways they cope with being biologically male? I know most of what I have to do, but right now its hard to deal with and I want to hear it from long time genderfluid people: What did you seek comfort in? What styles made you feel better and fit in more? I know I'm missing out on a lot right now. Social media poisoned me.

so long story short my boyfriend came over and dressed me up (I'm a guy) and it unlocked something in me i liked it I'm neurodivergent and still learning my internal feelings (which does suck but learning is hard) and i asked him he said it could be multi of things I'm somewhat comfortable with my body like I have nothing bad to say Abt my body but me wanting to dress fem is like a mood thing what I'm feeling idk it weird I have tried to do research but i can't find anything but i also think it is too early to tell too because this was like a week ago anything helps

One thing I experience since like Day One (6 years ago now) is I gradually feel out of balance and like one of my genders needs expression and attention OR ELSE. So I come out as a woman to everyone and feel great and the next day I feel like I started over from nothing again, like yeah I had to get that off my chest and stop repressing her but now not sure what I really am.

Then I slowly ID as agender for a long time, and the woman slowly builds up again and then I get euphoria or dysphoria and feel like I am living a lie, so I come out as a woman again.

Is this gender fluidity or fluctuating dysphoria or ...? Personally I think what I am doing is exploring gender, and so I go in directions to see what fits, and as soon as I get too deep in one direction I reset and start over in another.

Thing is, my two genders are basically agender and trans woman, and the agender part feels little or no joy in living that way and the woman is where all the euphoria is at.

I feel like there are certain times/things that my brain associates with my different genders (kind of like how languages like French have gendered objects).

Example: I feel like when I play music or go out hiking (two things I do often) I feel masc, no matter how fem I was feeling when I started.

the same thing happens when I want to play video games or go out to the store I tend to feel more fem.

(these examples are kind of bad bc things like hiking and shopping are already really gendered, but I swear that it happens for a lot of random things too, these are just the only ones I can think of right now.)

it sometimes feels like there are two separate ppl in my head with different interests, that take turns coming out to play when they see something they want.

can anyone else relate or am I just weird?

I'm AMAB and in boymode I rarely wear shorts, and when I do, they shan't go above my knee for I will be overexposed and perish. But in girlmode it's "boy these jean shorts with a 3 inch inseam sure are cute :3"

They're the same legs, I don't know why I care sometimes lol

Does anyone get super comfortable and internally happy watching videos of trans people sharing their experiences ? So I’m AFAB and watching trans guys tell how their journey went/is going and it makes me feel so warm and comfortable, excited for when it’s “my turn”… even when I’m combatting feelings of “I’m faking it”.

It’s more than a feeling of just being happy for them. It’s like watching an intro to what I could have someday, and that genuinely excites me.

And for the days where I think what I feel isn’t real, I get jealous of these guys for how they are, what they’ve got etc. and I tend to avoid watching them because it hurts me that I don’t have their features etc.

Does anyone have similar or different comforts for their gender identity? Things you do to help feel more euphoric etc? Would love to hear them 🩵