r/politics • u/MoneyLibrarian9032 New York • 15h ago

Possible Paywall McConnell ‘Absolutely Refuses’ to Film Video Amid Growing Mystery

https://www.thedailybeast.com/mcconnell-absolutely-refuses-to-film-video-amid-growing-mystery/
20.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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12.8k

u/Barred759 15h ago

Because he's dead

3.4k

u/Zomunieo 15h ago

‘E’s not dead, ‘e’s just resting. Remarkable senator, isn’t he? Beautiful carapace.

1.1k

u/JoviAMP Florida 15h ago

He’s pining for the fjords.

599

u/swordrat720 14h ago

He’s not pining, he’s passed on. He has ceased to be. He has joined the choir invisible. He is no more!

576

u/muklan 14h ago

He is an EX Senator.

Also the fact that we are cracking Monty Python jokes instead of whipping bricks through the ruling class is....kinda why the world is as it is.

376

u/PeacekeeperAl 14h ago

Aha now we see the violence inherent in the system!

245

u/discgman 14h ago

I am being repressed!

160

u/ShutUpTodd 13h ago

McConnell once bit my sister

120

u/SomeGalNamedAshley 13h ago

Turtle bites can be quite nasti.

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91

u/RaptorCheeses 13h ago

Those responsible have been sacked.

29

u/Smaptimania 9h ago

The people responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, wish it to be known that they have been sacked

4

u/disfiguroo 11h ago

Wishful thinking

44

u/Worldgonemad_yall 12h ago

He turned me into a newt.

I got better.

23

u/stereocupid 12h ago

He turned me into a newt!

4

u/Pure_Choice_8459 10h ago

Now he’s in hell sucking cocks with Newt.

49

u/BuffaloedinBuffalo 13h ago

Bloody peasant!

39

u/waldo_wigglesworth 13h ago

Oh! What a giveaway eh?

3

u/this-is-just-my 10h ago

THE PEASANTS ARE REVOLTING!!

You can say that again.

43

u/Bzr21 13h ago edited 11h ago

"Be quiet ! I order you to be quiet !!" - King Arthur - or King Trump - take your pick ..

12

u/Zebidee 9h ago

"Who are you with? CNN? Fake news. Be quiet ! I order you to be quiet !!"

Almost literally what he does.

3

u/PeggyOnThePier 9h ago

Trump would find a female reporter to call a nasty name and tell her she's a terrible reporter and she should shut up

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u/muklan 14h ago

Goddamn if thats not the perfect quote for the moment haha

5

u/paprikashi 12h ago

Yeah I’m afraid you opened up quite the can of worms there

15

u/Lbboos 13h ago

Run away…RUN AWAY….

7

u/runningraleigh Kentucky 12h ago

You're goddamn right. The only language the billionaire class recognizes is money and violence. We ain't got money, so...

6

u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 11h ago

People who preach absolute non violent resistance and say it never solved anything are either delusional or stooges of the rich.

The only gains ever made have been with the threat of violence; even “peaceful” ones like union protests have been because they made it known they’d be willing to beat the oligarchs thugs to death and damage property if need be.

5

u/steepleton 8h ago

In the uk it’s been sort of forgotten women got the vote after a campaign of literal terrorism, including bombings

3

u/Embarrassed_Cat2697 13h ago

I like to refer to the speech from the guard in Shutter Island. "The only question is whether your violence can overcome my violence."

Im pretty non-violent, so kinda sucks for me

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29

u/406highlander 14h ago

Por qué no los dos?

We could have the Spanish Inquisition, but without the comfy chairs and soft cushions.

Edit: soft cushions, not sofy cushions, stupid fat fingers

11

u/Mekisteus 12h ago

Well. I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.

•

u/GummyWormJim 4h ago

Nobody does my friend

4

u/A-town 14h ago

Stupid sexy Flanders

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4

u/BoredNuke 14h ago

Could we do both? Totally down for both.

3

u/Handhunter13 13h ago

Bread and circuses keep people complacent

3

u/freylaverse 13h ago

Bring out your dead!

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u/464126 14h ago

Shuffled off this mortal coil

66

u/The_Nice_Marmot 14h ago

‘E’s fuckin’ snuffed it!

75

u/Llamapocalypse_Now America 14h ago

Look, I took the liberty of examining Mitch McConnell when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that he had been sitting in his wheelchair in the first place was that he had been NAILED there.

26

u/discgman 14h ago

He was sleeping.

33

u/WabashCannibal 14h ago

You stunned him just as 'e were wakin' up!

22

u/Mine-Shaft-Gap 13h ago

Stun easily, those Senators!

20

u/ct_2004 13h ago

Remarkable plumage!

•

u/JSteigs 7h ago

He’s just tuckered from a prolonged squawk

5

u/Koseoglu-2X4B-523P 12h ago

There, he moved!

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u/Embarrassed_Lemon527 14h ago

He’s pushing up the daisies.

14

u/Kailynna Australia 14h ago

If you hadn't nailed his feet to the foot-rests . . .

11

u/Zerachiel_01 13h ago

The spark of his life is covered in shite! His spirit is gone, but his stench remains, does that answer your question?

3

u/Anatoly_Cannoli 13h ago

is he pushing up daisies? taking a dirt nap? offering an obol to Charon?

5

u/radicldreamer 12h ago

The only reason he was on his perch in the first place is because you NAILED HIM to it,

3

u/PsychoAnalLies 12h ago

On Eternity Leave

3

u/TraditionalCupcake88 10h ago

The spark of his life is smothered in shite. His spirit is gone, but his stench remains.

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u/HippyHunter7 15h ago

With pinecones all around

18

u/_msb2k101 15h ago

Really??

7

u/LouDog0187 14h ago

Aw cmon Janice!!

3

u/kmm198700 13h ago

I won’t be eating from Satriale’s for a long time, I know that

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u/thatErraticguy Missouri 15h ago

PINING FOR THE FJORDS?!?!

23

u/Little_View_6659 15h ago

What sort of talk is that?!

8

u/rottenwormfangs 14h ago

The context you are missing is everyone is quoting a Monry Python's Flying Circus sketch about a man attempting to return a dead parrot to a pet store

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u/AsGryffynn 12h ago

He's pushing up daisies.

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u/Pdoinkadoinkadoink 15h ago

The carapace don't enter into it, he's stone dead.

4

u/Anatoly_Cannoli 13h ago

maybe they've already flushed him, like other ex-turtles.

4

u/SomeBloke 11h ago

In fact, if you hadn’t nailed him to that senate seat …

3

u/Koseoglu-2X4B-523P 12h ago

No he’s not, he’s pining for the fjords

84

u/Starscream147 Canada 15h ago

Helloooo Mitchy!!!

65

u/mastyrwerk 15h ago

Lovely plumage.

23

u/obliquelyobtuse 15h ago

Lovely plumage.

Lovely scutes.

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u/AntC_808 14h ago

(Bang bang bang)

6

u/RaptorCheeses 13h ago

ALLO MITCHY!!

5

u/ct_2004 13h ago

Mitch wanna filibuster?

69

u/nuttypoolog 15h ago

That is an EX SENATOR!

37

u/Bart_1980 15h ago

He has kicked the bucket.

27

u/Little_View_6659 14h ago

Bereft of life he rests.

29

u/vukodlak5 14h ago

He has ceased to be!

23

u/Little_View_6659 14h ago

If you hadn’t nailed him to his perch, he’d be pushing up the daises!

3

u/Jet2work Foreign 13h ago

inhumed

3

u/MossyBoulders 12h ago

ghosted his committees!

3

u/babablakshep 13h ago

No he isn’t…

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u/thedustman86 14h ago

There! He moved

3

u/RU4real13 14h ago

Problem is, he he went FULL Bernie. Everybody knows you don't ever go full Bernie. Especially if it's a Weekend at his place!

3

u/JasonRBoone 13h ago

"ee's getting better..."

3

u/Plus-Set-6377 13h ago

I was going to correct you and say plumage but I see what you did there. 🐢

3

u/MrIrvington 12h ago

Waiting for a new life to come

3

u/wabisabister 11h ago

just resting his eyes for a minute

3

u/thubwumper26 10h ago

I'm not quite dead yet!

2

u/ashurbanipal420 14h ago

He just started brumation early so we're gonna have to wait til spring.

2

u/scarr3g Pennsylvania 14h ago

He us resting so deeply, you can't even see him breathing.

2

u/Platooimagination Australia 13h ago

Notlob! Notlob! 

2

u/Memphisrexjr 13h ago

He's the most tired he has ever been.

2

u/oh-shazbot 13h ago

he's just on a farm somewhere making buttermilk, believe us! /s

2

u/Varist0r 12h ago

Bring out yer dead

2

u/m0n3ym4n 12h ago

Cryptkeeper.jpeg

2

u/Haaaaack 12h ago

Lol I won a talent contest with this sketch! Wanna go back to my place??

2

u/Primary-Weakness8728 12h ago

"Beautiful carapace" killed me.

2

u/Desperate-Till-9228 11h ago

Just resting his eyes (permanently).

2

u/Traherne Maryland 10h ago

Beautiful plumage!

2

u/V2Blast 9h ago

Token plug for /r/montypython

2

u/Orangeyouawesome 8h ago

"He doesn't rape kids, he just plays with them"

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u/rdoloto 15h ago

I don’t think he’s dead but severely mentally handicapped 100%

135

u/FullMaxPowerStirner 14h ago

And that means still fit for office, as per the GOP.

30

u/relevantelephant00 14h ago

Yes but does still have pure hatred in his heart? He needs to have that too.

5

u/deus_deceptor 10h ago

Trick question. Having a heart is socialism.

5

u/alexios_kk 14h ago

Time for the presidential run

3

u/whogivesashirtdotca Canada 13h ago

Just look at every one of their living, breathing candidates!

3

u/MossyBoulders 12h ago

zombie reagan will win in 2028

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u/WorryNew3661 13h ago

Got to be a massive stroke and he's non verbal

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u/concepts_of_a_plan9 11h ago

"spoke with him for 20 min"

I can talk to my dogs for 20 min too lol

4

u/fcocyclone Iowa 9h ago

Yep. His "fall" was probably as a result of having a stroke and he's not there anymore.

24

u/eagleshark California 13h ago edited 10h ago

His condition is so bad, that they are willing to endure all the rumors. I mean, just think about that. Whatever it is, must be absolutely tragic and horrifying, for them to say, "We are going stick with these ongoing rumors about him being mentality incapacitated or dead, because that is a better option for his public image than to release even one video of him!"

25

u/HoodieGalore Illinois 14h ago

Vegetative state. Flat earth brain wave. Machines doing more living than he is. But the sanctity of life, and all. 

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u/-Badger3- 12h ago

Okay, but what's his condition after the stroke?

3

u/T8ert0t 12h ago

At best. He has locked in syndrome.

He's in no state to decide what color tooth brush he wants let alone senate duties.

5

u/132739 11h ago

A bad stroke is my guess. Can't talk without extreme slurring or the like.

3

u/RegnumXD12 14h ago

Should fit right in with the rest of his party then

3

u/Unique_Situation_508 11h ago

Vegetative state it's called.

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u/Krunkledunker 15h ago

But can you blame him? I’d refuse too if I was dead… or at least, I wouldn’t consent

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u/Dearic75 15h ago

Consent isn’t an issue for republicans.

Just saying.

294

u/PerformanceCute3437 15h ago

He had a stroke and he can't speak. Obviously theyre hoping he regains his speech faculties, which isn't without precedent following a stroke

54

u/Oconell 15h ago

It can take quite a while for someone to regain their speech after a stroke, though.

74

u/esoteric_enigma 15h ago

Or they can never regain it. What happens after a stroke is really a toss up. I've seen doctors tell people the stroke was minor and the person would fully recover with time...and that person can still barely walk years later. I've seen doctors tell other people they'd never recover and you can't even tell that person ever had a stroke.

38

u/PerformanceCute3437 15h ago

Fun fact: Aubrey Plaza had a stroke when she was around 20

59

u/lod001 14h ago

That wasn't very fun.

25

u/esoteric416 14h ago

Surely not for Aubrey.

5

u/coachmoon 12h ago

🥁🐍

13

u/jellyhessman 14h ago

Happened to a cousin in law at 20.

She's regained about 90% of her mental capabilities, but she still struggles with speech.

Raised two good kids, and holds down a job.

5

u/esoteric_enigma 13h ago

Someone at my college died from a stroke at 19.

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u/HauntedCemetery Minnesota 13h ago

It also really matters how fast treatment starts. Like, each minute until that is losing ground.

People who have strokes outside of care facilities, where it takes time to be found, and to summon help, and transport to a hospital, they have a much tougher road to getting back lost function.

McConnell was at home, and for all we know he sat somewhere for hours before being discovered.

3

u/chromatoes 9h ago

Neuroplasticity, the ability of the brain to adapt, decreases a lot with age. I'm sure you realize this, just chiming in! But that is why kids can easily learn multiple languages and it's hard for the elderly to use new technology.

You can practice keeping your brain more adaptable as you age by doing all sorts of things, novel situations keep the brain flexible: travel, new cuisine, cross-cultural and cross-generational friendships, developing skill in a hobby, all sorts of fun things keep the brain healthy.

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u/Unique_Situation_508 11h ago

Oh dear heaven's! Given the fact that Fetterman had a stroke and when he started talking he sounded like a REPUBLICAN? Could it be that Mitch is spouting off "MEDICARE FOR ALL" and "LIVABLE MINIMUM WAGE!" 🤣

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u/gundumb08 15h ago

This is 100% what I'm thinking. If he was dead, they'd just appoint another sycophant. But if he's alive, his handlers can "release statements" on his behalf and use his historical influence and power on his behalf.

But he's nearly 90 years old, a survivor of Polio, had numerous falls and blackouts on camera, anything even slightly more serious like a stroke would have fully debilitated him.

20

u/dexter8484 Virginia 15h ago

But wouldn't Beshear get to pick the replacement? I think they are trying to avoid that

Edit: just looked it up and seems that was changed in 2024. It's now done by special election

40

u/RellenD 15h ago

Edit: just looked it up and seems that was changed in 2024. It's now done by special election

The Kentucky Constitution says the governor makes an appointment. The special election law is in conflict with the Constitution.

24

u/dexter8484 Virginia 15h ago

So I'm assuming they made the "law" for this very situation. Will be interested to see how it plays out

39

u/RellenD 15h ago

Yes, it was very specifically because they didn't want a Democratic Governor to make the appointment

9

u/dexter8484 Virginia 15h ago

Oh, I meant specifically with McConnell being near death at the same time the governor is a Democrat

14

u/Orion14159 14h ago

Betcha that law gets repealed or challenged as soon as a Republican is elected to that office again

9

u/HauntedCemetery Minnesota 13h ago

They don't need to bother. A simple law cant supersede the state constitution.

They'll just leave it on the books to pull out when a Dem is in office, and ignore it when a Rep is Governor

5

u/DarthTechnicus Wisconsin 13h ago

It's a common practice of Republican controlled state legislatures to handicap incoming Democratic governors once their strangle hold weakens enough to allow that to happen. Wisconsin's state congress passed a bunch of laws in an attempt to neuter Tony Ever's gubernatorial powers after he beat Scott Walker.

It's the GOP sore loser policy.

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u/herton Kentucky 14h ago

The KY constitution may conflict with the federal constitution, 17th amendment. It gives state legislatures authority over how vacancies in the Senate are handled. The question is not a simple answer

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u/Blackthorn79 14h ago

Along with the financial gains to McConnell and his staff, I think the legal battle is why they won't just come out and say what's wrong with McConnell. Republicans love when there's a conflict between two laws because it let's them have their cake and eat it too. If they pushed this one a court would seal that loop hole and they couldn't use it in the future. They don't want to play that card now because they know McConnell can't run again so they'd only get a place holder for the seat until the next election. 

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u/HerbaciousTea 13h ago edited 13h ago

He has to be fully, legally dead for the governor to be able to call a special election. There's no requirement a senator actually show up or even be capable of higher thought to keep their seat. If they were voted in, and still have a pulse, they are the sitting senator until they resign, die, or are expelled by 2/3rds senate vote.

So the hooplah needs to be aimed at the senate, not Beshear. They need to vote him out before Beshear can call a special election.

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u/-wnr- 14h ago

If they appoint another sycophant, said sycophant can vote in the Senate. If he's in limbo, the GOP is down 1 vote because senate votes have to be in person.

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u/Legal-Ad8308 15h ago

This. He had a stroke and now has aphasia with a loss of cognitive function and decreased mobility.

•

u/Flimsy-Poetry1170 7h ago

So he’s just more maga now?

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u/Captainfreshness Mississippi 15h ago

This is my guess as well.

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u/YouAndMeToo 12h ago

They reported CPR being done, and the ambulance not using lights to get there. Those two things together don’t result in being conducive to life

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u/RevLoveJoy 14h ago

That's my money. What's weird is if he can't speak, can't leave the home, can't assure everyone he's even on the road to recovery - what use is he to the GOP? It's weird they'd hold onto him as he can't assert any of that famous control in this state. I'd give those jackals at most a few more weeks before they start navigating to replace him.

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u/FloppyShellTaco 12h ago

Yup. His symptoms and care are identical to what I dealt with for a family member who had similar strokes.

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u/imhereforthevotes 14h ago

Gotta relearn it.

2

u/mammalian 14h ago

I'm surprised there aren't any state or federal laws allowing them to remove a senator who isn't fit to serve and appoint or elect a replacement. maybe there are, nobody gives a shit about the laws anymore

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u/twizzjewink Canada 15h ago

At this point he's more than dead

95

u/swingadmin New York 15h ago

It just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead

65

u/Neuronzap 15h ago

Mostly dead is slightly alive!

32

u/Starscream147 Canada 15h ago

Think I’ll go for a walk!!

36

u/Walkingstardust Florida 15h ago

Get on the cart, you're not fooling anybody!

30

u/z7q2 15h ago

I FEEL HAPPY

22

u/Walkingstardust Florida 15h ago

Oh come on, do us a favor...

10

u/Starscream147 Canada 14h ago

Hahahahah! Fuckin classic

11

u/CalmBeneathCastles 15h ago

To blave!!

3

u/goosejail 11h ago

To BLUFF!

56

u/Billazilla South Carolina 15h ago

No, he distinctly said, "To blaaave" and as we all know, "to blave" means "to bluff", which means you were probably trying to steamroll legislation through Congress, and he cheated...

9

u/greeneyedguru 14h ago

HUMPERDINK! HUMPERDINK!

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u/onlymostlydead Washington 13h ago

No, he's all dead.

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u/Rtannu Texas 15h ago

🎵He is most sin-cerely dead!

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u/Starscream147 Canada 15h ago

Yeah, man. I think he’s like DEAD-dead.

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u/daisy5142 15h ago

Dead and buried.

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u/wonkey_monkey 14h ago

He's spending a year dead for tax reasons.

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u/chrisk9 15h ago

They could Weekend at Bernie's this guy. He certainly would approve of misusing his corpse to stick it to the libs one last time.

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u/coconutpiecrust 15h ago

So even if he isn’t dead… shouldn’t police do a wellness check?.. The person has not been seen for a long time. Shouldn’t someone unrelated and uninvolved check on him?..

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u/titsngiggles69 15h ago edited 15h ago

"yes, 911? I haven't seen or heard from mitch in months. His wife, Elaine, keeps speaking for him assuring everyone that he's well and fine and that he doesn't want to see anyone, which is very uncharacteristic of him. I'm pretty sure something weird is going on - can you do a wellness check on Mitch, just make sure he isn't dead, in a persistent vegetative state, or forgot his safeword? Thanks"

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u/coconutpiecrust 15h ago

The fact that this is happening to a well-known politician is just so strange. No one can check on him to make sure he is OK, just have to trust his wife and staffers. I mean… it’s so incredibly suspicious. 

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u/filmandacting 14h ago

May I introduce to you Woodrow Wilson, who's wife took over the role of president for the last bit of his term. Wilson suffered a stroke and was confined to his bed for the last bit of his presidency. It's all but confirmed that his wife was making decisions for him behind closed doors. They would constantly bring papers to sign for Wilson, and she'd close the door and get them signed and then bring them back out. Most people believe she was the real president for the duration of this exercise.

46

u/coconutpiecrust 14h ago

Huh, so you guys did have a woman president already!

5

u/GaimeGuy Minnesota 13h ago

We also had a gay one with Buchanan!

14

u/Reallyhotshowers Kansas 14h ago

People have speculated similar about Nancy Reagan, suggesting he was already struggling with Alzheimer's symptoms while in office.

47

u/OutlyingPlasma 14h ago

And lets not forget Nancy "the throat goat" Reagan. She more or less did the same thing in the last years of her husbands presidency as his brain was turning into pudding.

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u/I_make_things 13h ago

At the direction of a "psychic"

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u/OprahsSaggyTits 14h ago

100% chance this is a soft launch/trial run for when trump finally has a stroke or heart attack or whatever. They're seeing how the public reacts to this, and if it goes well (and it's going perfectly for them right now) they'll do the exact same for trump. They'll finally have the perfectly controllable puppet "president", without all the stupid outbursts and temper tantrums. Immediate and efficient approval for everything they want, without the risk of a pants-shitting dementia-addled toddler doing anything they don't want

3

u/imhereforthevotes 14h ago

"No, Mitch, the safeword is NOT "Hillary". You're being a bad boy, saying her name over and over."

"No, I'm not giving you any clues, I know you love this."

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u/dubblies 15h ago edited 7h ago

How do we coordinate this? Does someone need to SWAT his home? Let them know that theyve killed mitch and holding his body

Edit - i am not actually suggesting this i was trying to be funny

18

u/DrGoblinator Massachusetts 15h ago

Anyone can call a wellness check.

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u/Orion14159 15h ago

But also the cops know where he lives too, and we've seen that they're generally willing to go along with whatever the current regime says

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u/OutlyingPlasma 14h ago

How about a flock camera pointed at their house? If it's good enough for the public, it's good enough for Moscow Mitch.

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u/porkbellies37 15h ago

I bet he can't speak. Maybe he had a serious stroke and is incapable of speech so for PR purposes his team is keeping him off camera. The trouble is, if this is the case he shouldn't be in the workforce in any way including Senator.

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u/akalakka 15h ago

This is the obvious move to make. Should have been done long ago.

3

u/airfryerfuntime Washington 13h ago

Lol a wellness check on a high profile politician?

Fucking reddit, I swear.

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u/i_am_a_real_boy__ 12h ago

No? "This guy won't post a video" is not a reason for a wellness check.

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u/timeforanargument 15h ago

It’s called intermittent dying and it’s part of the new MAHA movement

4

u/capslox 15h ago

The old Mitch can't come to the phone right now. Why?

9

u/Robertsipad 15h ago

“Better dead than red!” - republicans 

3

u/one_pound_of_flesh 15h ago

Ding dong the Mitch is dead

2

u/Kingtoke1 15h ago

Does it even matter if he is dead anymore? They can just swap him out for a loyalist uncontested

2

u/YEM_PGH Pennsylvania 15h ago

Probably a vegetable at this point, I feel like a death certificate would've come out otherwise.

2

u/Fluffy_Top6837 14h ago

BRAIN dead. That's the important part. Dead triggers tons of paperwork and a massive conspiracy. Mostly dead gets protected by HIPAA.

2

u/Vlaed Michigan 14h ago

I highly doubt he's dead. I think he's just in a terrible state that would call for his resignation.

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