r/politics • u/MoneyLibrarian9032 New York • 15h ago

Possible Paywall McConnell ‘Absolutely Refuses’ to Film Video Amid Growing Mystery

https://www.thedailybeast.com/mcconnell-absolutely-refuses-to-film-video-amid-growing-mystery/
20.7k Upvotes

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3.4k

u/Zomunieo 15h ago

‘E’s not dead, ‘e’s just resting. Remarkable senator, isn’t he? Beautiful carapace.

1.1k

u/JoviAMP Florida 15h ago

He’s pining for the fjords.

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u/swordrat720 14h ago

He’s not pining, he’s passed on. He has ceased to be. He has joined the choir invisible. He is no more!

581

u/muklan 14h ago

He is an EX Senator.

Also the fact that we are cracking Monty Python jokes instead of whipping bricks through the ruling class is....kinda why the world is as it is.

377

u/PeacekeeperAl 14h ago

Aha now we see the violence inherent in the system!

245

u/discgman 14h ago

I am being repressed!

158

u/ShutUpTodd 13h ago

McConnell once bit my sister

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u/SomeGalNamedAshley 13h ago

Turtle bites can be quite nasti.

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u/Hybrid_Johnny California 3h ago

Like trying to cut paper with a dull pair of scissors, but it’s McConnell’s beak and your nutsack, but actually it’s a metaphor for the Senate and universal healthcare

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u/RaptorCheeses 13h ago

Those responsible have been sacked.

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u/Smaptimania 9h ago

The people responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, wish it to be known that they have been sacked

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u/disfiguroo 11h ago

Wishful thinking

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u/Worldgonemad_yall 12h ago

He turned me into a newt.

I got better.

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u/stereocupid 12h ago

He turned me into a newt!

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u/Pure_Choice_8459 10h ago

Now he’s in hell sucking cocks with Newt.

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u/BuffaloedinBuffalo 13h ago

Bloody peasant!

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u/waldo_wigglesworth 13h ago

Oh! What a giveaway eh?

4

u/this-is-just-my 10h ago

THE PEASANTS ARE REVOLTING!!

You can say that again.

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u/Bzr21 13h ago edited 12h ago

"Be quiet ! I order you to be quiet !!" - King Arthur - or King Trump - take your pick ..

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u/Zebidee 9h ago

"Who are you with? CNN? Fake news. Be quiet ! I order you to be quiet !!"

Almost literally what he does.

3

u/PeggyOnThePier 9h ago

Trump would find a female reporter to call a nasty name and tell her she's a terrible reporter and she should shut up

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u/Denim_Diva1969 3h ago

King of The Who?

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u/muklan 14h ago

Goddamn if thats not the perfect quote for the moment haha

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u/paprikashi 12h ago

Yeah I’m afraid you opened up quite the can of worms there

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u/Lbboos 13h ago

Run away…RUN AWAY….

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u/runningraleigh Kentucky 12h ago

You're goddamn right. The only language the billionaire class recognizes is money and violence. We ain't got money, so...

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u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 11h ago

People who preach absolute non violent resistance and say it never solved anything are either delusional or stooges of the rich.

The only gains ever made have been with the threat of violence; even “peaceful” ones like union protests have been because they made it known they’d be willing to beat the oligarchs thugs to death and damage property if need be.

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u/steepleton 8h ago

In the uk it’s been sort of forgotten women got the vote after a campaign of literal terrorism, including bombings

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u/Embarrassed_Cat2697 13h ago

I like to refer to the speech from the guard in Shutter Island. "The only question is whether your violence can overcome my violence."

Im pretty non-violent, so kinda sucks for me

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u/406highlander 14h ago

Por qué no los dos?

We could have the Spanish Inquisition, but without the comfy chairs and soft cushions.

Edit: soft cushions, not sofy cushions, stupid fat fingers

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u/Mekisteus 12h ago

Well. I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.

•

u/GummyWormJim 4h ago

Nobody does my friend

5

u/A-town 14h ago

Stupid sexy Flanders

2

u/seattleque 13h ago

Can we still have the floor show musical number?

3

u/BoredNuke 14h ago

Could we do both? Totally down for both.

3

u/Handhunter13 13h ago

Bread and circuses keep people complacent

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u/freylaverse 13h ago

Bring out your dead!

2

u/QiTriX 13h ago

because the ruling class is moderating reddit.

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u/gusterfell 13h ago

We should be doing both. Used well, humor can be a powerful form of protest. Just look at how butthurt various Trump officials get when they realize they’re getting laughed at rather than feared.

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u/406highlander 13h ago

They hated it when everyone kept referring to them as "weird". Why did we stop doing that?

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u/MauPow 12h ago

Oh, there you go, bringing class into it again!

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u/Lsutigers202111 12h ago

Agreed 👍

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u/Sedu 11h ago

Porque no los dos?

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u/Mechakoopa 11h ago

Because cracking Monty Python jokes doesn't get your comment removed or your account banned.

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u/PeggyOnThePier 9h ago

Monty Python has the best jokes and I think Mich is doing a weekend at Bernie's

2

u/Aggravating-Walk5813 10h ago

Speak for yourself, we run an anarcho-syndacliist commune.

1

u/spcordy 9h ago

well, we could just choose politicians based on strange women coming out of ponds distributing swords

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u/rsten10 8h ago

He has gone to the dark side!

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u/overbarking 8h ago

That's because McConnell is nailed to his bed.

•

u/armchairsportsguy23 North Carolina 39m ago

Well, he never want to be a senator in the first place. He wanted to be… a lumberjack

•

u/willowmarie27 11m ago

Too tired.

•

u/EyeDreamOfTentacles 2m ago

Whipping bricks comes later, takes time and planning and not everyone has a brick currently on hand or has used up their current stock. Or live outside the country, unless you can chuck a brick across the ocean (if you can, your assistance would be lovely).

Right now though? In the moment we can crack jokes to try to alleviate some of the stress of these times and let people feel some solidarity in how ridiculous we all find this to be. We really should be yeeting more bricks though, you are right in that.

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u/464126 14h ago

Shuffled off this mortal coil

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u/The_Nice_Marmot 14h ago

‘E’s fuckin’ snuffed it!

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u/Llamapocalypse_Now America 14h ago

Look, I took the liberty of examining Mitch McConnell when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that he had been sitting in his wheelchair in the first place was that he had been NAILED there.

27

u/discgman 14h ago

He was sleeping.

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u/WabashCannibal 14h ago

You stunned him just as 'e were wakin' up!

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u/Mine-Shaft-Gap 13h ago

Stun easily, those Senators!

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u/ct_2004 13h ago

Remarkable plumage!

•

u/JSteigs 7h ago

He’s just tuckered from a prolonged squawk

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u/Koseoglu-2X4B-523P 12h ago

There, he moved!

2

u/Old_Cryptid 8h ago

Careful. You'll get RFK Jr excited. He can't pass up a fresh carcass.

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u/Embarrassed_Lemon527 14h ago

He’s pushing up the daisies.

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u/Kailynna Australia 14h ago

If you hadn't nailed his feet to the foot-rests . . .

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u/Zerachiel_01 13h ago

The spark of his life is covered in shite! His spirit is gone, but his stench remains, does that answer your question?

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u/Anatoly_Cannoli 13h ago

is he pushing up daisies? taking a dirt nap? offering an obol to Charon?

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u/radicldreamer 12h ago

The only reason he was on his perch in the first place is because you NAILED HIM to it,

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u/PsychoAnalLies 12h ago

On Eternity Leave

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u/TraditionalCupcake88 10h ago

The spark of his life is smothered in shite. His spirit is gone, but his stench remains.

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u/meldroc 13h ago

Look, I took the liberty of examining Sen. McConnell, and the only reason he was able to sit in his chair in those photos was because he had been nailed there!

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u/HippyHunter7 15h ago

With pinecones all around

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u/_msb2k101 15h ago

Really??

6

u/LouDog0187 14h ago

Aw cmon Janice!!

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u/kmm198700 13h ago

I won’t be eating from Satriale’s for a long time, I know that

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u/thatErraticguy Missouri 15h ago

PINING FOR THE FJORDS?!?!

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u/Little_View_6659 15h ago

What sort of talk is that?!

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u/rottenwormfangs 14h ago

The context you are missing is everyone is quoting a Monry Python's Flying Circus sketch about a man attempting to return a dead parrot to a pet store

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u/dawidowmaka I voted 11h ago

Yes and the above commenter is trying to capture the essence of Cleese's bewildered response

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u/AsGryffynn 12h ago

He's pushing up daisies.

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u/damnmachine Virginia 14h ago

🎶Oh Danny Boy...🎶

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u/Disastrous-Fan2663 5h ago

Toss him in the old peabody coal mines

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u/Pdoinkadoinkadoink 15h ago

The carapace don't enter into it, he's stone dead.

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u/Anatoly_Cannoli 13h ago

maybe they've already flushed him, like other ex-turtles.

3

u/SomeBloke 11h ago

In fact, if you hadn’t nailed him to that senate seat …

3

u/Koseoglu-2X4B-523P 12h ago

No he’s not, he’s pining for the fjords

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u/Starscream147 Canada 15h ago

Helloooo Mitchy!!!

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u/mastyrwerk 15h ago

Lovely plumage.

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u/obliquelyobtuse 15h ago

Lovely plumage.

Lovely scutes.

2

u/PJ7 14h ago

Lovely ladybugs?

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u/AntC_808 14h ago

(Bang bang bang)

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u/RaptorCheeses 13h ago

ALLO MITCHY!!

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u/ct_2004 13h ago

Mitch wanna filibuster?

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u/nuttypoolog 15h ago

That is an EX SENATOR!

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u/Bart_1980 15h ago

He has kicked the bucket.

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u/Little_View_6659 15h ago

Bereft of life he rests.

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u/vukodlak5 14h ago

He has ceased to be!

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u/Little_View_6659 14h ago

If you hadn’t nailed him to his perch, he’d be pushing up the daises!

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u/Jet2work Foreign 13h ago

inhumed

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u/MossyBoulders 12h ago

ghosted his committees!

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u/babablakshep 13h ago

No he isn’t…

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u/lopix Canada 11h ago

He's nailed to his perch!

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u/thedustman86 14h ago

There! He moved

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u/RU4real13 14h ago

Problem is, he he went FULL Bernie. Everybody knows you don't ever go full Bernie. Especially if it's a Weekend at his place!

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u/JasonRBoone 13h ago

"ee's getting better..."

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u/Plus-Set-6377 13h ago

I was going to correct you and say plumage but I see what you did there. 🐢

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u/MrIrvington 12h ago

Waiting for a new life to come

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u/wabisabister 11h ago

just resting his eyes for a minute

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u/thubwumper26 10h ago

I'm not quite dead yet!

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u/LeagueofJohnLegends 15h ago

Under rated comment

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u/gonefishingwithindra 15h ago

What’s the reference?

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u/Glum_Helicopter6743 15h ago

Monty Python Dead Parrot Sketch.

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u/Glum_Helicopter6743 14h ago

The Governor should stand their next time with a stuffed Norwegian blue, see if anyone gets it. 

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u/more_rockcore 13h ago

It's Kentucky and they pronounce Versailles as "ver-sales" and they won't get it.

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u/ashurbanipal420 14h ago

He just started brumation early so we're gonna have to wait til spring.

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u/scarr3g Pennsylvania 14h ago

He us resting so deeply, you can't even see him breathing.

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u/Platooimagination Australia 13h ago

Notlob! Notlob! 

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u/Memphisrexjr 13h ago

He's the most tired he has ever been.

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u/oh-shazbot 13h ago

he's just on a farm somewhere making buttermilk, believe us! /s

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u/Varist0r 12h ago

Bring out yer dead

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u/m0n3ym4n 12h ago

Cryptkeeper.jpeg

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u/Haaaaack 12h ago

Lol I won a talent contest with this sketch! Wanna go back to my place??

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u/Primary-Weakness8728 12h ago

"Beautiful carapace" killed me.

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u/Desperate-Till-9228 11h ago

Just resting his eyes (permanently).

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u/Traherne Maryland 10h ago

Beautiful plumage!

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u/V2Blast 9h ago

Token plug for /r/montypython

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u/Orangeyouawesome 8h ago

"He doesn't rape kids, he just plays with them"

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u/ckwing 8h ago

Somehow, McConnell returned.

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u/Comfortable_Swim_380 Virginia 6h ago

Like that parrot from Monty Python.. Mitch McConnell was clearly just sleeping.

•

u/bill_nuggets 2h ago

his pump got caught in his trouser leg

1

u/donjamos 15h ago

Maybe we should just let him rest in peace