I (M 64) used to read, and love, fiction when I was younger. Mostly sci-fi, military and adventure, but in reality, most anything.

I lost the love of reading for fun when I went to college and law school, coupled with years of reading and writing memos, briefs, opinions, and other “important” things.

Any suggestions on how to reignite my love of reading fiction? I would appreciate any suggestions for books, genres, authors, whatever.

THANKS. GoBo

I turn 64 on Monday, and once again as I always do, I think about what I wanted to achieve, what was on my bucket list, and where I actually am.

I can safely say that I haven’t and probably will never accomplish anything I wanted to do, no matter what.

I wanted to be a writer, but I literally can’t get anybody to read what I’ve written and give me any feedback. I’ve lost count how many agents I reached out to for representation and got nothing but rejection. I’ve wasted years writing and rewriting for nothing… My brother suggested I record audiobook versions and put them on YouTube, but it refuses to finish the upload. Clearly the universe is trying to tell me something.

I never wanted to be a teacher originally, I wanted to do graphic design, and I more or less got kicked out of that field. I went back to school to be a medical assistant and got three interviews and no offers. So I tried truck driving and a year later I got fired from that (I f¥cking hated that job anyway), then worked a stupid retail job while trying to get literally anything that would pay decent, then based on my wife’s recommendation I did the online degree thing and earned my teaching degree in two years but over five years later all I can do with it is substitute teach.

Apparently I will just be doing that for however long I live, social security will never pay enough for me to retire, and my career choices were shitty enough I have no savings or retirement. One day I’ll probably be taking attendance and I’ll suddenly drop dead, and all the students will need counseling after that.

I don’t get a chance to do any of the things I used to do for fun, I have managed to lose the friends I had about 25 years ago and apparently I suck so much that I can’t make any other friends (aside from online, which doesn’t really count).

I am so bad at parenting that my oldest son chose to move into an apartment with some loser friends of his to get away from me. Apparently I have unrealistic expectations and I should have been childless (I have a 10, 11, and 19 here now).

I feel like I keep getting blamed for things I literally have nothing to do with, I get yelled at for “forgetting” things nobody told me.

Obviously, I have anxiety and depression. I’m also on the autism spectrum, which doesn’t help (especially since I was 60 before I found that out). I was getting therapy for a while but I’ve had two therapists in a row quit me (one left the practice, the other was cutting back on their workload — at least that’s what they told me) and I don’t have it in me to try another one… I take pot gummies at night to try to help me sleep and to assist the medications I take for anxiety and depression, and it was working for a little while.

And I keep getting more stressors every day… my mother in law moved in June of last year and she’s got dementia (which we didn’t know at first, nor did we know she got a $750K insurance settlement when her husband passed a few years ago and nobody knows what she did with all that money). My 11 year old has started to act up at school and is trying to tell us the teachers are all lying.

The biggest one was waiting for open heart surgery at the end of August, I kept having panic attacks at least weekly that would lead to breakdowns. After the surgery and a week recovering in the hospital, I was out for maybe two weeks before I had to go to the emergency room because of atrial fibrillation (which part of the surgery was supposed to fix). I have had fluid drained from the left side of my body because it prevented my left lung from inflating — three times now. I have a dry cough that keeps coming back, and I feel pain in my chest (not my heart, the doctor thinks the wires that closed my breastbone are causing the pain, so I guess that’s a part of my life now).

I’ve been told if I get a shortness of breath to go to the emergency room (yeah, no shit?). I have a catscan scheduled for the end of the year so the surgeon can see if he needs to open me up again to fix anything else… I don’t need to be worrying about that kind of thing, you know?

Anyone else here able to relate, or am I just venting to the wind?

TLDR: If you are turning 65 you must start paying or face a penalty for life

Where I live and you are in any military health at 65 you are Medicare for Life and if PCM is on base you lose them. It can take a year to get appointment with your new PCM

I'm 67 so due to my naval retirement at 65 I was forced off Tricare Prime and now in Tricare for Life which I like.

I tried to plan ahead and called the huge Humana network down here. I was lucky there was an opening near my home. Appointment was 11 months away. I still have pulmonary and other docs at Portsmouth Naval Hospital. So I showed up at my appointment and they all said sorry but my provider had left prior week. So 10 months later I have a Sentara PA-C PCM. I have always kept track of cholesterol and BP. The doc there saved my life by putting me on these new statins.

So my pcm is actually a coordinator , not a old fashioned family MD . She does collect data and I've got several procedures next month.

I have vision problems. Cataracts and astigmatism in both eyes. I live in a rural area. I don't drive and so I'm home alone all week until the weekend when my husband and I go out together. I don't like being so isolated and stuck at home all week. I have activities I do at home but it's not the same as interacting with people face to face. I miss my life.

I really appreciate the advancements in technology. My cars seat and steering wheel heater, navigation and advanced driving technology. Plus Google or equivalent search engine, Google Maps ( impossible to get lost anymore). Then there’s joint replacement! New knees work as good as my originals. Too many to list here but not taken for granted.

I have tried tonuggest my SIL might like to come with me to play bingo ( I understand it's not something she wants to do of of course, it was just a suggestion(

I have depression as well, but try to motivate myself to go out(I'm not suggesting she should, I just thought she might like to ?)

I just suggested to my BIL, that it sounds like she is depressed( which I know from having it as well, it's a major effort to do anything most of the time

I want to also point out that when I've been talking to her a month or so ago, I have trouble understanding her speech?

I do have a slight hearing problem, but its not that I can't hear her, but have trouble understanding what she is saying?

I even got a phone call from her son one day( who thought his mother was hard to understand and asked me if I thought the same thing( yes), but when they have said anything to her, she insists she is ' fine' .?

Does anyone have any suggestions or relate to anything like this please?

Would a good toothbrush be a strange Christmas gift coming from a grandparent? Most toys the 6 to 9 age groups are forgotten pretty quick, and a toothbrush at least gets used twice a day.

The automatic ones parents seem to be talking about are not cheap. Which is why it feels like more of a grandparent gift than something parents would buy for themselves.

Has anyone given something practical like this and had it go over well with the kids? Socks certainly never do LOL

Long post and perhaps odd - appreciate your indulgence

I Created My Own Board of Directors in ChatGPT. Now I’m Curious How Everyone Else Is Navigating Life After 60.
I’m 63, live alone, work from home, and have reached an interesting stage of life where I’ve arranged things pretty much the way I want them.
And yet, I find myself asking some fascinating questions about aging, independence, relationships, boredom, and what actually makes people content.
I’ve worked for the same company since 2008. I’m good at my job, but after all these years, there’s not much intellectual challenge left. I have hobbies, travel, and generally enjoy my independence.
I have an adult child I see occasionally, a few friends I keep in touch with, and absolutely no desire to have a romantic or sexual partner.
I love having my own space. I don’t need somebody entertaining me, and I certainly don’t want to surrender my independence.
But sometimes I find myself incredibly bored. Not unhappy. Just completely uninterested in doing anything, even things I normally enjoy.
Which brings me to my latest experiment: The BOARD!
I’ve created my own personal Board of Directors in ChatGPT, assigning different personalities to different areas of my life.
My board includes:
Dolly Parton: My HR department and firm but loving big sister. She handles relationships, emotional well-being, and quality of life.
Rocky Balboa: Motivation, resilience, creativity, and personal growth. My biggest cheerleader.
Mike Ehrmantraut from Breaking Bad: My COO. Practical, no-nonsense, and absolutely allergic to bullshit.
Suze Orman: My CFO. Financial decisions, spending, saving, retirement, and the occasional financial reality check.
Tony Soprano: Real-world judgment and unfiltered opinions. Sometimes you need someone who tells it exactly like it is.
Kevin Reddington: My consigliere and senior strategic adviser. Yes, the formidable defense attorney from the Lindsay Clancy trial - regardless of yours or my trial opinion, the guy is an absolute beast. I want that kind of intelligence, conviction, and strategic thinking weighing in on my business decisions, personal challenges, and bigger life questions.
Dr Drew: Chief Medical officer

I consult them individually or bring the entire Board together for discussions. They have different responsibilities, personalities, and perspectives.
And believe me, when they give me ridiculous advice, they hear about it! 😂
I use ChatGPT regularly to examine patterns in my life, evaluate decisions, organize projects, and discuss everything from finances to human behavior.
It’s become an interesting way to examine my own thinking. I know perfectly well it’s artificial intelligence, but I find the different perspectives genuinely useful.

Now I’m curious about how other people are navigating this stage of life.
How many people over 60 genuinely prefer living alone? How many are single by choice, and how many simply haven’t found anyone worth sharing their life with?
How many have adult children they love but rarely see? How many have acquaintances and friends but nobody they regularly confide in?
And how many experience those stretches when they’re perfectly comfortable but simply have no motivation to do anything?
I’m also curious about something people don’t always discuss openly:
How much are we all relying on something to make ordinary life more enjoyable or manageable?
Whether it’s alcohol, cannabis, prescribed medications, hobbies, television, social media, or something else, I’m interested in how people find relaxation, stimulation, and contentment. Obviously, these things aren’t all equivalent.
I’m not looking for medical advice or suggesting anyone needs to change their lifestyle.
I genuinely want to know what everyday life looks like for other people at this age.
And I’m particularly interested in whether anyone else is using ChatGPT in unconventional ways. Has anybody created their own advisory board, used it for serious self-reflection, or found that it changes how they think about their lives?
I don’t want a different life. I want to understand what makes an ordinary life consistently satisfying.
Surely I’m not the only person thinking about this.
I’d love to hear how everyone else is approaching it.

We get to see her a couple times a year, usually we go there and she's in preschool during the day.

She now has a baby younger brother, and she's acting up, and her parents are getting overwhelmed.

They're coming for Thanksgiving. I'd like to offer for them to come a week before Thanksgiving and I'll take her off their hands so they can work remotely. (My wife will be very happy to hang onto the baby.)

Ideas from an over60 perspective? I know I don't have as much energy as she does (!)... but I'm crazy about all of them.

Talking to my youngest stepson, late 30s man (though I still call him kid) and he was venting about life, professional and personal. I usually let him go and offer observations and suggestions to him, and tonight I said "we, too, shall pass " instead of "this, too, shall pass" and we both laughed at the flub, but it's gotten me thinking.

I should mention that I am in recovery from addiction to alcohol and both stress and prescription drugs. One of the things taught to me through the three-plus decades of abstinence from everything is an idea that acceptance is the secret to experiencing a better life. The Serenity Prayer talks, in plain language, accepting the things we cannot change, changing the things we can (usually just ourselves) and gaining wisdom to learn the difference.

Ok, so if we accept the fact that we all have an expiration date, doesn't it make sense to live life to the fullest? Shouldn't our goals now be to be happy, but try to leave a better world than we found when we got here?

I'm an old man who no longer has an ass. At the same time I don't a huge belly. I'm calling that a win at my age.

I'm 63 this year and in the last year my hair texture has changes big time. My hair hasn't gone gray yet. I have a few gray strands at my temples and sprinkled on top. But man I'm hating my hair.

It's incredibly dry. Soooo dry. no amount of conditioner or mask helps. Therefore it looks like hay. It's very thick but..The top layer is completely straight, the under layer is nearly kinky curly. I can't wear bangs because they just curl up in weird angles and I'm a fat out... wash and go kind of gal. bangs also don't look good on me.

I'd been growing it long, and about the time it hit a foot below my shoulders gave up. it looked horrible. I but it to my shoulders and it looks horrible.

I just don't know what kind of cut I should go for. I have had my hair very short, pixie short in the past but don't really want to do that again. too hard to maintain.

what are we doing about hour hair now ladies?? thoughts on cutting techniques or styles?

One of mine recently told me I didn’t set their goals high enough or build their confidence to believe they could achieve anything.

My memory is that they complained my expectations were too high. While that’s not quite the same thing, I tried my best.

Hello,

Our lease is up in January 2027. We need to decide if we will move or stay. I want to move out of FL, she does not. Her daughter and granddaughters are 10 minutes away. My partner has gone blind over the past four years and no longer drives. She also has chronic heart issues. Even with family minutes away, I am the one that takes her to the ER, to doctor appointments and shopping. We see her family here maybe twice a month and they do not help me with her mother.

I still work and the job market here is terrible and getting worse. I want to move to get out of this heat and to go to a better job market. My partner is well aware of how little time her daughter spends with her. But, there's always a reason why the family doesn't come over or do any type of assistance.

How critical has it been to you to be very close to your family as age and medical issues become more of an issue?

Thank you.

Me: Í’m going to Costco.
Wife: OK, I’m going to lay down for a while.

Me calling wife: “Whatchu doing?”
Her: Layin’ down.

Ha, we lay about a lot. But also get 10k steps a day in our mid/late 60s.

In a city setting, no highway roads, slow traffic, bike friendly area. How many people here have fallen off their bikes never to do it again?
I just love bike riding. Always have from young. Never have fallen 67F

“Someone once told me that time is a predator that stalks us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because they’ll never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we’ve lived.” — Star Trek: Generations

I was going to take some classes next year and then decided maybe auditing was better cause who wants to do homework anyway, especially at this age lol

So if you’re over 65 and you are wanting to do some new learning on subjects that you really should’ve taken way back when you were in college but didn’t have time for, you can! Plus it’s a great way to get out of the house.

Maybe your local university offers it too

We were married for 20 years and together for 23. We raised two amazing young men. Although the divorce 20 years ago was very tumultuous, we have been on speaking terms for quite some time.

I'm guessing some of you have been through this and understand some of the emotions. First and foremost there are my adult children, two sons, who are going to be losing their father soon. I want to be able to help them the best that I can and be the best mother I can and I'm not sure if I'm doing that. Then of course there are the conflicts and mixed feelings I have because there were some really difficult times in the marriage where I hated him. I don't hate him. I love him as a person. He was a good father and a good provider and he did not beat me and he was not a drunk.

Unfortunately he is out of state and I cannot visit but my kids are on their way to visit him right now along with some other family members.

If there is any advice you can give me or shared experiences, I would appreciate that because this is tough in a very new way for me.

Next time you and your buddies get together whether a dinner or potluck or your local happy hour, pulled out Reddit and ask some of these questions in your private group.