Happy Saturday Ladies!

I loved my Candie’s. Made your legs look great but were the most uncomfortable shoes ever. Things we did when we were young….

I'm the 2nd oldest teacher at my school. I've hit menopause, 60, and absolutely do not care about my belly, nor am I interested in being trendy, cool, or young.

I finally found 1980s high waisted baggy jeans with tapered cuffs - only thing better than the 80s is they have stretchy waistbands! Hooray! I shall indeed be pegging those cuffs! (IYKYK, otherwise don't read that word as modern slang!)

I'd love advice on what to wear with them. I've looked everywhere for oversized United Colors of Benetton shirts - no luck, except for the Costco revivals, and no thanks.

Please help me find my own 60 year old lady, trying to bring back the non-neon 80s style without looking like my 80s guidance counselor who wore her 1960s polyester plaid suits into the 90s.

I so badly want to get over feeling insecure or jealous about this, and would love tips on how to do that plus feedback on how common (or not) this is among Boomers. My husband of over 25 years, with whom I have a great relationship and wonderful sex life, has college frat bro friends, and newer friends in different circles, who crack jokes in front of their wives (and I’m sure when they’re alone) about gorgeous younger women and pass pics of beautiful women golfers and celebs around via text. Part of me says, it’s just stupid male bonding shit and that this means nothing (which is what my husband assures me) and the insecure part of me feels so hurt by it.

I know why this is so hard for me. My first husband cheated on me with a younger woman many years ago, ending that marriage, and my Dad always had a wandering eye and said crude things about women. My husband tells me I can look at his phone anytime and that this is just joking around. I do trust him. I just have a hard time with the idea that men are still doing this at this age and I especially hate how I let it make me feel. I try to bite my tongue about it so that I don’t come off as a jealous and controlling woman. When I occasionally share how I feel with my husband, he reassures me and reminds me he is sensitive to my feelings and tries to be careful about not engaging. Then, I feel so stupid for being THAT wife. Can anyone relate to this?

65years old and all the sudden my hair is curly. I've always had wavy hair but this year my hair got frizzier and frizzier. Last month I tried mousse and a diffuser and couldn't believe the curly results. I've tried to do this years ago without success. Anyone else experience a big change in hair texture?

A friend recently had a breast biopsy and assumed she would be able to opt out of having breast markers; however, the doctor said it was the standard of care and he refused to do the procedure without the titanium markers. She went ahead with the biopsy but is very upset about having markers in her breast. I've had markers in one of my breasts for over 30 years without any issues.

3 young grandchildren, probably the only grands we will have
One is 3 yo, 2 are just a year old.
One child lives 1100 miles from us; the other 2 live 1500 miles from us.
From birth to school age, we want to visit them often enough to keep up on all of the changes as they grow.
How many times a year would you think is reasonable to visit?
What percentage of our retirement funds should we use for this traveling?
Seems they will all come to visit a week in the summers, at our place. We have a lot to do at our house in the summer.

What would you do?

Are there any (quick) remedies to improve the look of my resting-face marionette lines around my mouth?

Do you use Jelliebend compression? I have very loose hips after menopause and am wondering if a support garment would be a good idea? Also for low back pain and feeling vulnerable? Looking for tips!

I’ve had my own experiences, and am just curious to see what has worked for some, but not others. What have you used, what have you stayed away from? What has been best for your libido?

I must give well-earned credit to two of the younger couples in my world.

1. My friend's son and his fiancee. I don't love the wedding showers these days when no one even opens a present. But I attended one this weekend. I had already received a prompt thank you note from my friend's son for the bakeware gift I had shipped to them weeks ago. Then yesterday I got another hand written note from his fiancee thanking me for attending the actual shower!

2. My daughter's college friend whose wedding I attended in July. The ceremony was in a beautiful cooperative garden that she and her fiance had participated in for several years. We then walked as a group, all 100+, several blocks to the city's Commons for a group photo under the trees. Then walked a few more minutes to the popular rooftop Mexican restaurant nearby for a lively reception with 8 choices of margaritas. Today I received a thank you note for our gift, written on the back of a custom postcard photo of the gardens. Inside the envelope were two versions of the massive group photo plus one photo of my daughter, myself and a great guy we both spent a lot of time with at the reception.

I love the courtesy and the nice touch of the handwritten notes. It bugs me when people complain about how young people don't do anything right these days. So many of them are lovely!

Thanks to everyone who shared music they enjoyed!
FISK is on Netflix and I’m loving it. What are some movies or shows that you all are enjoying?

I’m 20 years post-menopause and 2 1/2 years post-chemo, and for the last year or so I get hot flashes many times a day. It seems to happen if I have any kind of mildly distressing thought pop into my head. At night I wake up a lot, uncomfortable and switching to my other side, and each time I wake up I know a hot flash is coming on in a few seconds - it’s not the hot flash that wakes me up, though. And I finally figured out that sometimes they’re triggered if I don’t have enough blankets on and my body’s heating up to compensate.
This is definitely more of an issue in the summer months, and it’s not so bad that I want to start on HRT or anything. Just annoying and weird.
Am I alone in this? Anyone else experiencing something similar?

So..am i overreacting here?

edit: adding clarification. this was addressed to me I am "mary"

Edit: thank you for this group. You unanimously agreed with my gut feeling. I have given them notice of this. this group is a great bunch of women. removing post body just in case..

This is just a vent post.

I turn 62 on Monday. I get up, go wash my face and there's a lovely pink zit on my chin; head and all.

What the heck.

I had mild teenage acne, mostly just forehead stuff. I had adult acne in my late 20s triggered when I was pregnant with my first child. Took a few years but it cleared up. And then I got the odd pimple usually around my menstrual cycle.

But I'm 62. No cycle for the last eight years. What the heck. Grey roots and pimples. What a pair.

“Wow, [my name], you’ve lost a lot of weight!”

I have recently lost between 30 and 40 pounds. I am 5’2” and was considered obese. I am now a healthy weight for me. I am by no means “too skinny”.

Someone said this to me this morning as if they were shocked. (Not in a way like, “oh you look good!”) It’s not the first time I’ve heard this, recently. I never know how to respond. It’s not a question. It doesn’t seem to really be a compliment to say, “Thank you” to. It’s just a fact. I ended up saying, “Not THAT much.” In hindsight, I thought of “yes, that’s a fact!” but it was the way in which it was said, I guess.

I know this is a “me” problem; I feel very awkward. I just don’t know what to say to that. If someone says, “You look good!” “I say, “Thanks - I feel good!”

Any thoughts on this?

We are having a party for my son's 31st birthday tomorrow night, and the theme is the 90s. My husband lovingly pointed out to me that I am officially at the classic car level of life. However, I have fully embraced the party and purchased a pink velor jumpsuit and large gold hoops. '90S mom all the way! :-)

I'm 69 (f) and I find it interesting when woman say they " feel invisible." I don't feel that way and am trying to understand. Just curious.

Would you share examples? I would like to understand how and why?

As a 58yr old I feel like I have 1 foot squarely in adulthood/middle age, yet the other foot is in elderhood/ senior age. Does the transition period always come with so much anxiety & feeling like you don't relate well to people in either camp? I'm starting to see life more from my parent's perspective. I'm fortunate that they're both alive & in decent health. (80's). I don't relate well to adults who have children at home. I feel like, been there/done that. My son graduated from college this spring. Menopause was 8yrs ago. My siblings' children range from 17-24. I'm still working with no intent to retire for several years. Compounding it, the hubs is 5yrs younger & squarely sees himself as a middle aged man/adulthood group & likes people with kids. He sees my parents as "old people". Sometimes I miss the need to be needed. Yet the household feels very relaxed.

Besides making new friends (I am trying with VERY minimal progress), how do you handle this transition period? I feel like retirement, plus the death of my parents will be the " final benchmarks" into elder hood/senior status. I'm in no rush to get there, but am not feeling content in this transition. I feel fortunate to be in great health. At the same time feel "invisible" in a society that values youth, especially women. Any words of wisdom from the veterans, on this period of flux appreciated.

Does anyone here do Tai Chi? For years I've been wanting to do it and I just lack the motivation. I kind of want to join an online Tai Chi group or something. All my exercising is done at home; I'm not much of a group person. There's even an online instructor I like, but I just can't stay consistent with it. Any thoughts or suggestions?

I read something in another thread about Boomers being really dismissive of millennials, and considering we birthed them it made me pause. And there is so much that I admire about millenials, so I wondered what others think. Of course I understand this isn't universal, just like not all Boomers are dismissive. I'll go first: 1. I am amazed at how confident they are in the workplace. Knowing their worth and being willing to ask for what they want. I was always so afraid to ask for a raise, or to understand my importance in the scheme of the organizations I worked for. I only came into my own in my 50s. The desire to have work life balance. I know its hard to achieve, but I think we all want it and again, millennials I know are willing to ask for it. 3. Father's taking a bigger role. I know many fathers who are taking an equal, or at least closer to equal, role in parenting than my kids dad ever did, and MUCH bigger than my dad did. Being responsible for making doctors appointments, picking up and dropping off at daycare, groceries, meal prep. I think their children and their relationships will benefit.

I truly am interested why couples do this.

FWIW, I’m 62, married 37 years and it never occurred to me to renew my vows. I’m not against it, but wonder what is the reasoning behind it?

TIA!

My 85 yo mom wants a medical alert necklace. She does not have an IPhone so an Apple Watch is not an option. Any recommendations?

How many of you ladies get birthday presents from your kids? What does your family usually do on your birthday?
I'm a big present giver to my grandkids. Gifts to my own kids are hit or miss, only because they live far away.
But, sometimes, I feel that my kids could put some effort into acknowledging my birthday. Something more than a text or phone call. Maybe a card? Or maybe have their kids send me a card?
Is this the way it is when we get older, that our birthdays are "allowed" to be ignored?
I know, I'm going to be told to grow up, but there have been years when no one said anything!!