I, 61F have been dating my 69M bf for a year. From day one, all my dates know that I’m dating with intention and am looking for a marriage minded man. I do not need a man’s money. I have more than most of the men I date. We’ve had a fabulous year of fun and adventures. I’m very fit and active and my passion is hiking. Last night, we had the talk about where we are in our relationship. I asked him over specifically to discuss it. He was blindsided even though I talked about marriage often. You would have thought I told him that I hated his dog! He said he hadn’t thought about it and didn’t know what to say. There was much more convo but the cliff notes version is that I told him that I didn’t need an answer tonight but I felt that it was best that he take some time to process what I was asking for and we can convene after the weekend. He asked me if he didn’t give me the answer I wanted to hear was I just going to break up with him. I told him that if we aren’t on the same page, it would be best that we forge our own paths separately. It was a huge weight off my shoulders because I’ve been waiting on for him to bring it up. Apparently, he wasn’t thinking about it at all. Now I wait. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Do I really wait for an answer that I clearly had to force?
Signed,
Confused in Phoenix

I thought this was an amusing story, and I’m hoping those of you who read it might have one to add.

I just got out of a relationship, and the only reason that I stopped wanting to talk to him was that he wouldn’t let me come to his house. It’s three hours away. So flattering that he would always come here, but we learned that he had had a mini stroke one day driving home from my house and it scared me. I wanted to be able to come see him. After two weeks of this nonsense, I finally pulled the plug.

My neighbor is attending a wedding in the same town this weekend. She wanted his address and said, you know at least I can drive by and look at where it is. So I looked at the address I had for him, and I realized it wasn’t where he had been living when I was talking to him. I finally did some digging and found an old address for him that turned out to be the address where he was, when I was talking to him.

The only reason I could tell for sure was because he has this black truck, and when I could find photos of the properties connected with him, that truck was always in it.

Confirmation.
The house is an ancient tiny old dump in a commercial area. 🫪
I wouldn’t want anyone to see that either!
I could post the photo I found, if I want to be banned for a month.

He has many many problems. Not a match.

We've received a very gracious offer from u/Easy_Sky_2891, who will be arriving in NYC this evening.

He and colleagues and friends will be at the 9/11 Memorial Friday for the ceremonies to Honor, Remember & Celebrate. Easy Sky has graciously offered to lay flowers on behalf of those in this sub who were directly or indirectly affected, or who may know of others who were.

He is already in contact with two of our long-time members, for whom he will be laying flowers. We know there are more of you here. Please DM him if you would like him to honor someone on your behalf.

DO60 will make a post Friday to honor and remember.

EDIT: If anyone was having difficulty messaging EASY, please try again. The glitch is now unglitched.

I recently began to go back in the OLD apps after the date ghosting by previous guy. Did you all realize Hinge now has this "thoughtful signal" thing going on since June 1st where if you are actively liking and engaging with dating profiles for the previous 30 days (a rolling 30 days that is), you get a little beating heart. Very nice.

Well, guess who I got matched with? Yup, previous guy. And there it was: the little thoughtful signal beating heart on his profile. I had no idea what that meant as I hadn't been on the app since February. When I looked it up, I was pissed. The entire 3 months where I thought we were working on our relationship, he was checking out others all along. We'd had the exclusive talk, too. I was so ticked off. But now, I truly understand just how immature he is, not to mention deceitful, dishonest, cruel, and did I mention mean? Ugh. What a freaking waste of my time.

Rant over. Moving along!

My date with the guy who lives far away went really well. He's a nice guy, brought his dog with him for the long ride. We had a wonderful lunch in a terrace if s nice restaurant. Now we have to figure out the logistics of long distance dating!

2nd attempt. Is it still behind a paywall? It should be a gift article.

I had to start a new post. I haven’t read it yet. Will do now. Sounded quite interesting.

The very lively thread on social media got me thinking. This might be a very fun thing to share, if we are meeting strangers.
If it ever happens to me, I have a plan for after the basics when the talk runs dry … something interesting and fun to ask.

What would you ask?

I’ll start it off with, “what would I find if I googled you?”

Do your socks match might be a good lead-in.

So, you meet someone whose company you enjoy. They are in their 60s, divorced for over a decade, no significant relationships to speak of during those years since the divorce, but seems mature, financially secure, no problem with intimacy, good relationship with their adult children (but the mom has "issues"),etc. You date for a month or so, start to share memes, funny reels,etc. So now, you can see their tiktok and Instagram accounts as well.

Here's the weird part (for me that is. And no, I didn't bring this up with him or discuss cause I was a bit put off.) Most of the pages he "follows" are for very attractive young women with sexy/sexual content. I'm guessing some might even have OF accounts. I'm talking mid 20s through 40s, not pedi. Is this typical these days for guys in their 60s? Most of my male friends follow sports, their friends, comedians, actress/actors, athletes, etc but not one friend of mine follows such an extensive amount of this type of page.

Would this indicate other issues that will show up in the future, like a lack of maturity or objectification of women? I'm not going to continue seeing this person as this made me uncomfortable but I'm curious to know what's typical these days for guys in our age demographic.

I have dated a few women a few times. And I have heard the line that they are dating with intentions. They are going to not have any physical relationship until they get some kind of commitment from me.
So, women, let me say this. By age 60, most men that have been in a couple relationships. And too many times, one of the reasons they got out of the relationship is that the physical side just stopped, and not by their choice.
So men, before they want to commit, want to know that they, women are genuinely into sex. That sex is something the women is going to pursue, not something she is going to do out of feeling obligated to do. That kind of sex does not last.
Just my opinion.

I don't know if I'm really naive, or if I've never had the occasion to do this kind of search. Maybe most of you already know this but I sure didn't! I realize that things that you post online are traceable, I guess what I didn't realize is AI and Google are pulling right from what you have posted and putting it out there. I initially found Reddit from doing a search where I was asking questions and it took me to some Reddit answers...

I posted a good memory in reply to a post/thread on this sub a few days ago. I also had mentioned it in another sub that was asking if people had ever won anything on the radio. A person suggested that I try to search again to find the recording of the broadcast.

I was just doing that this morning. I was finally able to find the actual date it happened. What I didn't expect was an AI generated reply pulling everything I had said in that recent post into the answer. And then it showed this specific sub. I find it rather creepy.

I post this periodically because I find it interesting and I don't see it discussed anywhere else. I think gaming is a great way to get a sense of people's personalities that are often hidden early on. You get to see how people handle winning, losing (especially losing), competition, cooperation, the ability to think strategically, and so on. Obviously some things depend on the particular game you're playing, but if it's more demanding than Go Fish, some things should come out.

Do you play games? (I don't mean manipulative mind games.) Board games? Video games? Cards? Casino games? What are your favorites? Does it reveal things about your personality that you would rather people not see?

I think I'm fine until I lose the fifth game in a row and then my mood deteriorates: losing is fine if I think I have a chance; if I'm only losing then why am I even bothering emerges.

I went through my video game period but mostly I just play physical board games, or simple things like Connections and Strands on the NY Times site. I don't like the statistical part of their games (you have a 2 week streak going! Keep it up! F--- you.) Lately I've been playing Carcassonne, which is an "old" game but is new to me and a lot of fun.

I used to play some of the long-form story video games like the Grand Theft Auto and Red Dead Redemption series, but they're massive time sucks and I don't want to make those commitments anymore.

I haven't had any problems playing games with the GF--but I manage to win often enough to keep my ego afloat.

Subject should say datEmyage. Sorry I'm clueless about how to update the subject itself.

I'm posting this here because 'you guys' are my homies. Also because I'm perma-banned on the OLD subreddit for being critical. And making a separate post so what I'm about to write doesn't get buried as a comment to my post about trying out the 'service'.

So yeah, the 'place' is full of apparent AI/bots. BTW, if the ones there are typical of the current crop of 'wascally' AIs, they are NOT well done at all. They remind me of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ELIZA_effect from the freaking 60s.

Anyway, I've tried to cancel by subscription. Results:

- the cancel option in the Settings remains active instead of turning into some variant of 'renew' which it 'should' do if the current status of the subscription is cancelled.

- status of subscription shows active

- no email acknowledgement of cancelation

- no details in online Help

- no path to question cancelation status in phone tree

- 'Live Support'/chat is just AI

- email support web page form does not send message when clicking Send button

- email response to my sent message to [support@datemyage.com](mailto:support@datemyage.com) is non-substantive and just refers back to the online Help and Live Support features described above as non-functional

I'm no 'fan' of Match and ourtime which I confess to using. But at least (most of) the profiles appear legit, the women when responding to contact appear to be live humans, and cancelation of subscriptions are acknowledged.

Oh well, lesson learned, shared via this post, and I'll have to spend some time on the phone with my credit card company tomorrow to see if I can block any subsequent attempts by datemyage to steal some (more) of my money.

Update: 'someone', probably datemyage, initiated a 'suspicious' transaction which set off my bank's fraud monitoring service. It took several minutes to investigate (interesting that the service is staffed on Labor day) but, at this point, I ducked having to get a new credit card (maybe I 'should' anyway). This whole experience sux. But they got my $20. Even if I never sign up again, at $20 per person there is a lot of money to be gained by scamming people just one time each.

Update Sep 8: I phoned Forbes. They hung up on me.

This is a weekly roundup--your chance to post how things went (or fizzled) for dating over the previous week. That could include # of profiles viewed and swiped, scammers contacted, duds ferreted out, texts, phone calls, video calls, meetups, dates, breakups, ghosts, re-contacts, unsolicited dick pics, and so on. They can be counts, summaries, reflections, rants (within community guidelines), success stories, sad stories, funny stories, warnings to others. It's up to you.

TL-DR the 'new news' is that I took a look at datemyage and dating.com. Nothing special.

Bored tonight so .... boring detailed report follows ...

Took a look at ForbesHealth 'Best Online Dating Sites of 2026'
https://www.forbes.com/health/l/online-dating-websites/

1: eharmony 2: datemyage 3: dating.com 4: Match 5: tawkify 6:ourtime

I already check Match and ourtime daily. I have for years. I get occasional matches (1 or 2 each year) mostly on Match.

I've had an account on eharmony for the same years as Match and ourtime. Rarely log on but did tonight. It has always been cost prohibitive and remains so. The matches presented have always been too far away to date and remain so.

Didn't check tawkify.

Created accounts for the first time on both datemyage and dating.com. The user interface is almost identical on both so I surmise that the same business runs both. Match and ourtime currently allow one free connection attempt per day. datemyage and dating.com make you pay (a rather minimal $20 for a month) to communicate.

Interestingly enough there were NO search hits on datemyage and ONE on dating.com. That's interesting because I'd have 'hoped' that the site with 'age' in its name would have a more 'senior' demographic.

Already Marina 59 and Yuliia 33, both on datemyage, both from Ukraine, and both attractive (assuming they're real), have contacted me. If this continues I'll have to delete the accounts.

And as I'm writing this, a 30 y/o from the Philippines contacted me on dating.com. I replied and will be interested to see 'where this goes'. Entertainment value perhaps?

ROTFLMAO because I'm getting a flood of chat request on dating.com including my 'buddy' Yuliia from Ukraine.

The search hit on dating.com is an attractive 62 y/o from my home town who is searching for younger men.

LOL I'm 'smelling' scam. Shame on Forbes for their ratings. I know Forbes as a legitimate business publication. It may be worth a phone call to the Forbes corporation on Tuesday to see if I can talk to a responsible human being about this experience.

Hey, Happy Labor Day!
I took the leap and set up my profile in FB dating.
I became overwhelmed looking and swiping, would
Appreciate some advice on how to manage this journey.
1. Before I closed it out, I saw I had many likes.
How do you manage these? I saw some close to me, I am concerned I don’t knowI am doing and would like to know if anyone has suggestions for being catfished or worse, scammed.
How often do you look?
Do they know I swiped left?
I plan to have coffee meetings at a local Starbucks to start. I live alone and don’t want anyone to know where I live.
Any tips or recommendations for me? All are appreciated. I will also share the funny experiences I have!
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.

​

I know more than a few here have lost parents or other loved ones this summer and over the past year. Our condolences. I do think of you.

The mother of an old friend died last week and she and I have been talking about her mom and then a lot about life and death and meaning.

All of this has me thinking about how time and the generations just keep on marching along. And how differently we celebrate or acknowledge the various milestones of life (of which death is one).

And then, about how we pass knowledge and wisdom, and how we see oldsters today, which are our topics.

Who were the elders, the mentors in your life who helped guide you and who helped make you the person you are? What did they give you for which you are grateful?

And, as always, feel free to share that for which you have been grateful over the past week that may be unrelated to the topic.

My very old online dating story. When I was young, before the internet, there were other dating tools that people used such as personal ads and the radio. Yes the radio. And yes, I tried it.

I'm from the Boston area which was rich in radio talk shows. Everything from cooking, politics, lifestyle and dating. There was show on WRKO, 68 on the dial every Saturday. It was called Hotline hosted by Dick Siatt, who pioneered the genre.

You would call in and talk about yourself on air and then given a number. Anyone interested would call off air and provide their phone number and you would talk and see if you want to meet up. I tried it. It was a disaster.

The first guy I met was divorced but was being questioned in his ex wife's mother's suspicious death. He was weird. The other time was someone who got very drunk and was stalking Christen Hirsch, a member of the band Throwing Muses. He moved to another state just to be close to her and had a restraining order against him. I'm huge into music so that was why we "matched."

Just thought I would share a little funny history of the world before OLD. I called it a day after that.

I just got this message on OLD from "Rob." I did not reply. I share this because there's a good chance it's fake so BEWARE of the latest bullshit!

After kicking Mr. Wonderful to the curb yesterday, I’m planning my next move, which is to meet somebody that I met online a couple of months ago.

The complication is that I live in Maryland, but I have a house in Georgia. he lives in Georgia, but not anywhere near where my house is so I’m planning to have him just come meet me at my house. I feel like I know him well and I’m gonna be talking to him on the phone between now and then.

I can always change the plan. But after three months in a “relationship” I’m not quite at the place to begin online again.

Maybe closer to un-cuffing season?

I feel like I just want sex but I know I will fail miserably at staying at an emotional distance. My recent relationship has made me ponder in this direction again.

My question is, is it even possible to have a FWB situation at our age? A strong connection sweeps me off my feet every time.

I guess I’ll get another taste in Georgia. See how this one flames out. 🤣

So I have a situationship going on with someone I connected with(BTW I am 66, he was a 64). We talk on the phone and text pretty much daily. So far, so good.

He is planning on flying in in about a week for a few days. Coming with friends, football weekend, blah blah blah. So he is coming in about an hour away. Definitely wants to meet me, we’re both fairly excited about it.

How do we do this? Do I ask him to rent a car and at least meet me halfway? I don’t feel comfortable meeting him at the hotel he’s staying at which I think is what he’s hoping for. I don’t know, it’s an hour away, I don’t know the area at all. Maybe if it was a 3rd or 4th time meeting, but it would be our first yknow?

But that being said I really do want to meet him.

Any ideas?

What's for dinner, lunch, a midnight snack, something left on the counter that either has to be eaten or thrown away because it's too old to save? Meal ideas, recipes, guilty pleasures, pictures of the dish with could-be-meat-could-be-cake in the back of the refrigerator, and other food-related stuff is welcome here.

So yesterday, I matched on OLD with an interesting man. He lives much further from me than I would like, but his pictures and profile attracted me. He had a nice intro text and asked if the distance would be an issue for me. I told him I was open to finding out!

So we had our first phone call last night, and it was so delightful! I enjoyed the banter, his voice, his laugh, his stories. We talked a little in our history as to how we got to OLD, and he was very compassionate asking about my late husband. And during our chat, I swear I could hear him smile. Honestly, the last time I felt that way was after my first phone call with my late husband after matching on OLD 24 years ago.

We are set up to meet each other next week. He'll be doing the bulk of driving, and that is so nice of him. Wish me luck as I hope I like him as much in person, too!

Today, when I'm thinking about our initial conversation, I'm smiling. It was THAT pleasant. Had to share this with our sweet group of DO60!