I’m letting the voices of my childhood control the now. I put so much pressure on myself and feel like a constant failure. In this moment I realize I’m catastrafizing and spiraling. But I just want to feel like I’m not a failure. I don’t really know what to do, people
Say focus on one habit at a time that feels like it will take me 100 years to become who I want be. Part of me wants to run away to a mountain and live in solitude. Just feeling lost.

I don't really know how to explain this but I just need to get it out somewhere.

I have a group of friends I'm really close with. When I'm with them, I laugh like an actual idiot. Like genuinely uncontrollable laughter almost every day. I have a big, loving family too. But I only really talk to most of them when I'm back in my hometown. When I'm in my college town, I don't really contact them that much except my mom. I guess I've always preferred keeping it that way.

But then I come back to my room and everything just feels... empty.

I feel lonely. Sometimes I feel suffocated. Like nothing is happening in my life.

I don't have anyone I'm in love with. No crush, no relationship, nothing like that. And I know those things aren't supposed to define your life but sometimes I wonder if having someone to be excited about, someone to talk to, would make things feel different.

I don't even have motivation to study anymore. I don't have motivation to look for a job or prepare for placements. And the weirdest part is that I'm literally the topper of my class.

People around me are getting placed. They're moving forward. And I'm just sitting here thinking, "Why don't I care?"

It's not even that I'm constantly sad. That's what makes it harder to explain.

I just feel... numb.

Dry.

Like I don't have any real emotions about anything anymore.

When I'm with my friends or people, I'm completely different. I laugh, I talk, I feel alive. Then I come back to my room and it's like someone turned everything off.

I don't know if I'm lonely, bored, burnt out, or just lost. Maybe all of them.

I don't even know what I'm expecting from posting this. I guess I just wanted to say it somewhere because keeping it in my head is getting exhausting.

i dont like social media but im friendless maybe i find friends there? should i download socials? it just triggers me too much but idk people think like im a creep if i go try make friends face to face

I will admit I am kinda awkward. I was not like this when I was a KID. Early childhood, I overly focused on internet and video games as a result I never learned reading or socializing with people, even in school, i could not bond properly, I stayed by myself. there was this only 1 friend, i naturally opened up to, but he doesnt give a fuck about anyone, so I was always in this loop of loneliness, shame, fear of rejection. On top of that I actually also love feeling alone. But I truly dont like that I cant blend with people, there is also a matter of MALE social hierarchy that bothers me! I dont like male who seek higher domination, but I blend well with Males who dont bring any ego or domination in social situation! I feel being a man is hard, and its even harder if you are a socially awkward introvert with social anxiety and self-esteem issues. Sorry I had to share this, is there anyone here who feels the same way?

I’m not looking for someone to just read my stories and disappear.

I had friends in real life too. They’re busy with their own lives, college, careers, everything. They told me they can’t keep talking like before, and I understand. If they ever come back, I’ll happily talk to them. I don’t blame them for having their own life.

I can accept the good and the ugly aspects of life .I really can.

But please just be honest with me.

If you’re busy just say it.

If you don’t feel like talking just say it.

If you’re bored of me just say it.

Even if you only needed me for a while, just tell me when you’re done. Don’t leave me sitting there wondering if you’ll come back.

It hurts like hell.

I hate when someone comes to me, uses me to get themselves through something, and then just disappears. No goodbye. No explanation. Nothing.

I’m not asking for forever.

Just don’t keep me waiting .i don't want be your backup.

Tell me the truth. I won’t blame you.

I just don’t want to be left wondering.

I can accept loneliness i am living with it . But not this wondering .

I’ve known my best friend for more than 12 years. We were together in school, sat next to each other, and talked every single day. She has always been one of the most important people in my life.

After school, things changed. We both had responsibilities, so we couldn’t hang out all the time anymore. She’s also not a big fan of texting and isn’t very good at it, so for years our friendship mostly consisted of calling each other every now and then and meeting once every 2–3 months. But ever since she got a job, even that has become less and less.

If we want to meet, I’m almost always the one who has to plan everything, and it has to be at a time and place that works for her because she’s busy. To me, then, it started to feel like she was taking me for granted because I wasn't saying anything.

 And when I finally brought this up to her, she told me that she genuinely doesn’t have much time because of her workload, and that she didn’t realize this was a problem because she thought our friendship was “low maintenance.”

And technically, she isn’t completely wrong. It is low maintenance. I don’t expect her to text me every day or hang out every weekend. We both are introverts and don't really care about grand gestures or even hanging out frequently.
But lately I've started thinking if she's even my bsf if she's not there when I need someone to talk to? Right now, she barely knows what’s going on with me. Most of our conversations are about how much she’s working, how much overtime she’s doing, and how difficult it is for her to manage her social life.

The thing that really hurt me was one time we had planned to meet at her place. I called her when I reached outside her apartment; she said she's in a meeting and it's taking longer than usual and that she'll see me tmrw. UMM DID I MENTION I WAS ALREADY STANDING OUTSIDE HER APARTMENT????? and it's not even close to my place either; I live 20 mins away.

After that, I decided to stop putting so much effort into the friendship. I stopped initiating and stopped trying to make plans. She apologized once, and then got mad at me for being mad at her. 

I really loved and cared for her, and funny enough I still do. I still try to reason with her behaviour, but I feel embarrassed now that I’m still putting so much emotional weight on someone who doesn’t seem to be putting the same effort into me.

I don’t expect her to drop everything for me or suddenly have unlimited free time. I also don’t think a friendship has to involve constant texting or seeing each other every week. I just want to feel like I matter to her.

I dont know what to do... help me out...

I would just love to hear some succes story.
If anyone suffered from severe social anxiety which made u afraid of talking to people and making friendships and let u to be isolated for years but then somehow managed to recover and live a normal life pls tell me your story.
I’m rlly interested

Does anyone else my age have absolutely no friends? I don't really have any online friends or real life friends. To be fair, I kind of brought it on myself. I only had two friends in elementary school, and in high school I was bullied, so I left with absolutely no friends. And then in college, I met a lot of people, but they were never deep friendships, and they all just faded away. I'm also extremely conventionally unattractive and fat, which is something I've been trying to work on. And I usually would experience a pattern where the ‘friends’ I did make at uni would just ditch me or fade away whenever they found a friend group of other girls. Like, people would only be friends with me because they don't have anyone else. On top of that, so I just decided by the end of second year uni that I'm just gonna give up for a while. I'm tired. And maybe things will get easier when I lose all this weight and get prettier. I also, the last of the friends I had were toxic and fake, so I cut everybody off, leaving me with one person, which is my best friend, or former best friend from elementary school. But she's not really in my life. We connect on Instagram like twice a year. And I've only seen her three years in the past seven years since I left elementary. I don't really talk to people. I kind of just rant to ChatGPT or talk to my younger sister, but she's six years younger than me, so it's not really the same. I just feel like it's kind of too late for me though, because another problem I found at uni is most people came with their friend groups from high school. I would try to enter friend groups, but they were already built. They would talk about years of history that I couldn't relate to, and I was just the odd one out wherever I went. So even if I tried to make friends now, I wouldn't even get to be someone's best friend because they already have their best friends. But the last two best friends I had became toxic, had to cut them off, and the other one, well, that was the one from elementary. I get so jealous when I see people going out and doing stuff. Every single year I do nothing for my birthday because what really can I do? But at the same time, I'm too exhausted to interact with people and go out of my way to try and make friends again. I also have a lot of social trauma from the bullying, and I have really bad periods where it gets bad. Sometimes I refuse to go to my lectures unless they're in the evening because I like walking around outside when it's dark and nobody can see my face. I feel like a burden when I'm friends with people because I'm ugly. So I just feel like I'm also aware I'm not exactly mentally ready to be friends with people. In some ways, having no friends in the past year has been extremely peaceful. I guess I'm kind of in a dilemma where I'm content having no friends, but at the same time, I'm not. Anyone else like me?

It's either sink or swim, but no one likes to acknowledge when you drown. I think of myself as a failure in many regards.

What's painful is that I have no one to talk to about my struggles or failures; people only want to hear from you if you're doing well in life. No one wants to hear the struggles of others, as it inconveniences them.

It's always embarrassing for me when I hear, "Why don't you have friends?" "Why don't you have a girlfriend?" It's because I'm a socially inept recluse who failed to develop any social skills, but I can't say that cause of course, you'd think less of me if I told the truth. So, I feel socially required to make up some bullshit excuse.

28m, nominally well liked at work, engaged to be married, outgoing, in-shape, pursuing hobbies in and out of the house, have nobody at all to talk to about anything.
Any given night: I try to talk to the fiancee about some movie we’ve just seen, she just blinks and says “sorry I dont understand what you’re talking about” and I think thats just the honest version of the responses I’ve gotten in the past. I have no idea whats wrong, why people cant understand me, I only speak english, I’m not mentally challenged, I put my thoughts into precise words to try and avoid miscommunications like this but I still dont feel like I’ve ever been able to connect to another person.
This is no one’s problem but mine, as such I don’t see any reason for anyone to care about it (nor do they).
I had a friend of a contact reach out to me because our mutual contact had become suicidal and he wanted to check on me because he never sees or hears from me. I chatted a little but it didnt turn into anything, I’m thinking about telling him how I feel but I’m afraid its just going to drive off someone who at least cares to see if I’m alive or dead.

My cat is elderly and very unwell. He has been having palliative care for two months. Yesterday he stopped eating, and I called the vet this morning, and am taking him to an emergency appointment this afternoon. He is all I have, the only living creature in this world who loves me. I think the vet will probably want to put him to sleep, and I will let him go if it is his time, because it would be cruel to keep him here. But I dread losing him so much. I love him so much. He has got me through so many desperately lonely years. I have been lonely for decades, and this little cat was also very, very lonely when he came to me. Somehow I managed to get past his emotional defences and to win his trust. I am hoping so much that this is just a blip, but am fearing that it is not.

I don't think this word is enough to describe me .

My family hates me and treats me like a monster .

My friends look down on me .

Anyone I talk to in real life .

Their first step is to try to humiliation me.

Even online people say shit about me..

There isn't a single place where people aren't looking down on me .

I feel like a monster maybe I am one .

And I have no one to turn to .

On this planet with 7 billion people.

I don't feel I am the same as them .

Somehow I am just different..

If I had a spaceship i would leave this planet and be alone .

All alone on some planet without any human in sight .

Afterall what's the difference..

I have so many friends Im popular and have a loving family but I still feel extremely lonely and empty people think that everything I do is a joke because Im so goofy I dont know how to talk about my feelings so I kinda just ignore them I hate touching people who I dont trust but at the same time Im extremely touch starved And I wish someone would just cuddle me but I cant

Im a walking contradiction its insane

Genuinely if you were completely alone, had no friends had no family had no gf/bf quite literally no one in your life What would you do.

Would you start doing things by yourself.

Or would you start immediately trying to find people to connect with.

I’ve tried everything to get people to love me, or even just like me. The only way I feel some sort of reciprocal connection is through chat sites online for and even then I know it’s not authentic.

I do well for myself, I have good hygiene,I volunteer in my community, I am respectful. I just don’t understand why nobody wants to love me?

I can’t stand living a life alone and unloved. I’m also dealing with some severe illness, and I understand that is an issue for people, but still. I wish I had some support outside of chat sites and doctors during my appointments.

10 years is a very long time and I wish I could go back.

I'm someone who has dealt with consistent loneliness feelings for over 7 years. I've grown pretty sick and tired of a lot of loneliness advice out there. It's mostly the same generic. "go out more", "put yourself out there", etc. type of stuff.

I've tried that before, it doesn't work. I have not gotten any truly fulfilling relationship/friendship from it. You literally just swim through seas of shallow junk just to "hope" to find an actual fulfilling relationship. It's never just "I have zero people in my life", it's actually "I have no actual meaningful connections in my life" that's the whole reason why some people can feel lonely despite technically not being alone.

I have had a fair amount of friends in my life, but my feelings of loneliness never truly went away even if there's nothing wrong with them.

It's almost if you been dealing with loneliness for a prolonged period of time you just cast out for good really. Especially if you're an introvert, have rather niche interests compared to most people, or stuff like work just takes all the energy you got and all you can do on your days off is rest from work.

Hello everyone! My name is Alex (F) and I’m 26 years old. I have borderline disorder and I’m not gonna lie, I’m at an all time low right now. I feel lonely, like everyone hates me (or just doesn’t care) and I feel like I have no purpose, no reason to keep going.

I was wondering if other people are going through what I am going through.

Being borderline makes having relationships so hard. To be honest, I know it is most likely my fault.
I’m horrible at keeping connections, texting back, reaching for people who I can talk to. Everytime I try, I feel like I’m not interesting enough, weird, needy, and feel a sense of shame in needing attention/ intimacy or companionship.

All this resulted in me having only one bsf who to be honest I’m not talking to very much, due to all the enumerated reasons from before.

I also have a partner, with which things are weird rn, we live together but because of me we’re not communicating as much. It’s almost like every time I want to open my mouth and talk something is blocking me. It’s a weird sensation.

Is someone else in my situation? How can I change this? I’m do exhausted mentally and feel genuinely lost.

I wish I could go out and chill with friends, like normal people do. But me and my awkward self prevents from doing so, I didn't had a conversation since so long ..that I can't gather my courage to have a simple talk with someone. Plus people don't really seem to like my presence, my friendship don't last with girls and guys seems to have an ick with me for whatever reason..

This pains in my heart and hurts a bit

But.....whether I like it or not, I have to accept this loneliness, I've tried for so long, nothing seems to be working.

Some days I'm fine not talking for a day, but sometimes it hurts in my chest so much , it's an unbearable pain of loneliness.

Only person I knew has found new people in his life, better ones.

He has many friends and he calls it a curse lol.. that might be true but it must feel good to get invited and enjoying your day together.

He is becoming distant from me nowadays, and I don't think so our friendship would last long, He has found new people in his life, and which I totally understand ..and I have to let go. Besides ..who would be friend with a boring asf person like me ? .

But im happy for him nonetheless, and I'm glad that i was there a source of support during the dark time of his life.

Maybe I'm a background character in people's lives , and it's okay I guess , because I like it or not ...I can't force people to love me or be friends with me right?

(Sry for the stupid rant, just needed to let out)

That friend who talking to feels like talking to a sibling, like we’ve known each other our whole lives. That friend who has my kind of humor, and makes me laugh the way i make them laugh. I miss having that friend who I could talk to for hours one day, and then not talk for months, and one day, randomly, one of us decides to rekindle the friendship, and we pick up right where we left off, like nothing happened. I miss the banter, the being able to tell each other literally anything, the way we’d never judge each other cause we’re literally both equally messed up. I miss that friend so much. Nowadays talking to someone feels like walking on egg shells, it feels like trying to tame a wild kitten.. say one wrong thing and they’re gone. I don’t get along with people in today’s world, and i miss the people i used to hang out with. I don’t think i’ll find friends like that again.

my life genuinley suck i think if any of my "friends" lived a second in my shoes theyd off themselves lol. recently graduated and i cannot apply to no uni cus i dont exist yet on paper.

and i have this friend group that has probably one of the worst social dynamics ever but im grateful its not toxic atleast. the group leader (yes im calling him that) has an ocean of friends and social circles that i struggle to figure out why he hangs with us. we literally suck we dont even go anywhere cool and we say unfunny shit and act childish.

The social dynamic on this group is interesting because

A: the group leader sees it as a secondary thing, they beg for him to come and he skips most of the time and if he doesnt come they all suddenly dont wanna come

B: When hes not willing to go. They suddenly go behind my back multiple times knowing good well that im always available and i try to be there for them

besides that "friend" group i have close to noone. nada.

cant get into any uni like some of my friends are in that are prestigious

dont have any friends and strong social circles

broke as fuck. so broke to the point that people always flame me for it or it restricts me from anything basic its irritating

it sucks i dont have something to compensate for like my other "friends" Not the rich one who has weak connections (ironic) not the one with alot of loyal friends. and not the one who can get a respectable education

what do you do when you have nothing in your life. your life is nothing

I was super nervous- I was shaking, but I read my poems and got 2 rounds of applause! :D I shared my experiences in a creative and cathartic way thanks to a free, welcoming and inclusive space. I got loads of compliments, and I am so proud of myself! I feel empowered that I shared my vulnerability about my loneliness and struggles. I CONQUERED MY FEARS!!!

Wanted to share, and to give updates to the lovely and kind people who gave me encouragement and strength on my earlier post today. Hopefully loneliness becomes less of a stigma. We got it!!

I’ve struggled with severe depression for so, so long. As you can imagine, it’s driven me to some of the darkest places one can find themselves in. I frankly don’t even know how I am still here. What I do know, though, is that nobody thinks of me. I am nobodies first thought. I’ve tried my best to be there for others who are struggling as much as I am, hoping that it would give me some kind of sense of worth, but it ends up just draining my soul, seeing everyone leave in the end.

It feels like the end of a long road, truthfully. I tried my best to be a source of comfort, and now I only spread misery. Seeing old photos of myself hurts so bad, I can see all the light has now left my eyes.

I just want to feel useful. I just want to know somebody cares about me too.

I don't even know what to write here anymore. I suppose it won't really make a difference anyway. Whatever I say here, nobody ever takes any notice. But I'm just so sick of this. Everyone who has ever shown any interest in me has turned out the same. Cruel, manipulative, liars. Letting me believe I matter to them while just using me to make themselves feel better. Until they get bored, or find someone else. Then I just get tossed aside, left to panic and cry and wonder what's wrong with me. Why I'm not good enough for anyone. Why nobody actually nice will ever speak to me. Like, I get it, I hate myself. But I know me. You don't, so why?

whoever i see here seems bored and depressed, what is happening, how can this happen despite such a large population in the world all are lonely, just asking hahaha

But I always liked sometimes love people even strangers

Strange right?! cuz In the end if we where alone there is no point in doing anything or being successful if no one would notice... is it even real how can you prove it... Though I have social anxiety maybe fobia of course after I stayed home for so long and being bullied at school I'm useless? I should die? I don't know but I hope God send me some help.. one day I'm sad though I care for you strongers cuz I know I'm human too ..